Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for a look at where CreatingaFamily.org - and this podcast - began and where we are heading from here. We talk today with Dawn Davenport, the founding Executive Director of the organization, as she prepares to retire from Creating a Family.In this episode, we discuss:Tell us how and why you started Creating a Family. Why start a non-profit?The Complete Guide to International Adoption: The Step by Step Guide to Finding Your ChildDo any significant moments stand out from those early days of setting a path forward?Who were the hands-on folks behind the scenes in those early days?What were some of your hopes and dreams for this new venture when you started podcasting?What were some of your most memorable challenges?How has the world of podcasting changed in the 18 years since you launched this one?Were there one or two “big fish” you were excited to get?How have you seen the Creating a Family podcast impact the families we serve? The profes

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have a question that may be well suited for a weekend wisdom episode. I'm aware of the reasons that a domestic infant adoption may fail, but I've also read about foster children having failed adoption(s) and then aging out of the system. What are some of the main reasons that a foster child experiences a failed adoption? How does that look different than (or the same as) a failed domestic infant adoption? Resources:Failed Adoptions:Help, I Don’t Think I Can Continue With This Adoption!Adoption Disruptions/Dissolutions – How to Prevent and When to AcceptEvaluating Risk Factors in Foster Care AdoptionFailed Adoption Matches:Predicting and Coping with Failed Adoption MatchesHow Common are Failed Adoption Matches?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents a

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What should you look for when you are considering therapy for your child or your family? How do you find the right fit for your child's needs? We talk today with Kelly Raudenbush, Executive Director of The Sparrow Fund, a non-profit that provides therapeutic services for foster and adoptive children and their grown-ups. She is a child and family therapist with an MA degree in counseling and a certificate in clinical infant and early childhood mental health. She's also an adoptive mom.In this episode, we discuss:What are some of the common reasons families seek therapy for their child or family unit? When is it time to seek a therapist?What types of professionals can provide therapy?Is there a difference between therapy and counseling? What makes a therapist trauma-informed?What’s the difference between being adoption-competent and adoption-informed?What should parents look for to determine if a potential therapist is competent to hand

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I adopted our daughter in 2019, and she is now 5. As of a week ago, we were matched with a birth mother who is due in six weeks. We have explained the process to our daughter (we made a book about our life, and one day someone will pick us), but now that we’ve been chosen, what is the best way to approach this with my daughter? We have several of the books from your (wonderful) book list, but not many pertain to same sex parents who are bringing home an adopted sibling. How do we prepare our daughter for the possibility of having a sibling, while also being open and honest about the possibility that this baby might not be ours to take home? Resources:Prepare Children for the Adoption of a Sibling (Suggested Books)Books for Transracially Adopted Kids (Suggested Books)Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical strategies to build attachment with your child? Jeanette Yoffe, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in adoption and foster care with over 20 years of experience treating children with complex trauma. Her new book, The Traumatized and At-Risk Youth Toolbox: Over 160 Attachment-Informed Interventions for Working with Kids and Families in Foster Care and Beyond offers specific strategies and tools parents and caregivers can build into their family rhythms to promote regulation and healing in their homes. In this episode, we discuss:Overview of trauma’s impacts on the brain, on learning, regulation, and on the ability to trust.What does co-regulation look like between a caregiver and a child with a trauma history?What are some simple, everyday things caregivers can do at home to support a child’s self-regulation? What practical tools – activities or routines – will help us build emotional safety in our homes?Why

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago, and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is, how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start.  But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old.  For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how start talking to him about this.  Any help would be greatly appreciated. Resources:Talking with Kids About Adoption (Resource page)Talking with Kids About Birthparents (Suggested Books)Adoptee Voices

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical strategies to help your kids face the challenges of a scary world? Join us for a conversation with Melinda Wenner Moyer. She is an author, contributing editor at Scientific American, a regular contributor to The New York Times, and a former faculty member at New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. Her new book is titled Hello, Cruel World: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times.In this episode we discuss:Why is raising kids in today’s world is so challenging and potentially terrifying for parents.What are the fears kids are feeling in today’s culture?What are some of the clues parents and caregivers should look for to tell us our kids might be struggling with fear or anxiety?How does a parent or caregiver’s fear impact our ability to raise our kids in what feels like a terrifying world?How do we balance protecting our kids from the world with equipping them to ha

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My 15-year-old foster daughter, “Anna”, is scheduled to move back in with her mom at the end of the school year. She is currently on my phone plan. I also pay for her access to Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu. Should I ask her mother now how she wants to transition Anna onto her phone plan? Do you recommend continuing to pay for a 3-6 month period until the mother figures it out? Should I just keep her on my account for Spotify, Netflix, and Hulu as long as it doesn't cost me anything extra? She also has some of her own furniture that doesn't fit in my car. Should Anna's mother be responsible for getting those pieces to their home? She is going to live almost 3 hours away. Resources:Working with Birth Parent's for the Child's Best InterestWorking as Part of the Foster Care TeamFormer Foster Care Youth VoicesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We a

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering international adoption? If so, this interview will help you decide which special needs are a good fit for your family. We'll talk with Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota. He is a dad and granddad by birth and adoption.In this episode, we discuss:International adoption has become overwhelmingly a special needs adoption program from all countries. Prospective adoptive parents are required to fill out a form stating what special needs they will accept.Most common special needs. What are they and how involved is the post-adoption care? Cerebral PalsyHeart issuesCraniofacialCleft lip/palateDevelopmental Special NeedsAutismDown syndromeDevelopmental DelaysHepatitis B and CHIVOrthopedic special needsClubfootLimb or digit deficienciesAlbinismHe

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: A listener wrote in asking about encopresis and enuresis. These tips are for handling bedwetting or soiling accidents once your child is successfully potty trained.Resources:Bedwetting and Related Toileting Issues (Article)Helping Children Heal from TraumaSleep IssuesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you define self-care? Are you establishing a routine of self-care that supports you to meet your kid's needs? Nicole Barlow joins the podcast to discuss how we think about self-care, why it's crucial, and how to create rhythms of self-care in our homes. She is a certified wellness coach, TBRI® Practitioner, and parent trainer for foster and adoptive parents.In this episode, we discuss:Re-define self-careWhy is self-care crucial for parents and caregivers?Why do so many of us resist or neglect self-care?What are some of the benefits of a well-rounded approach to self-care that might move the needle for someone who says, “I’m too busy…” or “Self-care is selfish, etc.”What are some of the indicators we might identify in our lives that say we should focus on our wellbeing more intently? Framing a holistic approach to self-care:Physical wellnessEmotional & Mental wellnessSpiritual wellnessWhere does one start if we’ve never esta

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Today's question is about black parents adopting a white child. This was a question we received from a survey we sent out to issues that our audience wished that we would address.Resources:Raising a Child Through a Transracial AdoptionTransracial Adoption Twist: Black Parents Adopting White KidsBlack Families Adopting White ChildrenSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can we get people of faith more involved in helping vulnerable kids and families and supporting foster and kinship families? Join our discussion with Jason Johnson and Shmuly Yanklowitz. Pastor Johnson is with The Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and is both a foster and adoptive dad.  Rabbi Shmuly Yanklowitz is the Founder & President of YATOM: The Jewish Foster & Adoption Network. Rabbi Yanklowitz has twice been named one of America’s Top Rabbis by Newsweek and is a foster dad.In this episode, we discuss:How can churches, synagogues, mosques, and other faith communities step forward to help families?What are the different ways people of faith can help?How do we get the rabbis, ministers, and leaders on board?Better for the church or synagogueWhat are the biggest obstacles you see for leadership to want to embrace this ministry or program?How to get people involved?What are the biggest obstacles for people wanting to get invol

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I want to know how I can help my child/foster, or adoptee with issues that arise out of the blue. There are things that happen that you’re not aware of, and it just shocks you and throws you off. As an adult, it’s hard to know how to handle some of these things because you can make it worse for the child. Sometimes I feel like I need a therapist to help me navigate being a foster parent.Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupHelping a Child Heal from TraumaTherapy ResourcesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to discuss how adoption looks and feels from all sides of the adoption triad. Our guests will be the authors Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden of their book, Adoption Unfiltered.In this episode, we discuss:Adoptee Perspective:23 adoptees contributed to this section of the book. What are some of the issues adoptees may face?Compliance and people-pleasingFantasy AttachmentsShameInterracial AdopteesThe Danger in the Rescue NarrativeRole of religionin adoption for adoptees, birth mothers/expectant mothers, and adoptive parentsBirth Mother:Before birth mothers get the chance to ask for help, they ask for mercy.Advertisements and search algorithms when searching for adoption informationLack of neutral supportLack of post-placement support—lingering trauma and grief—It’s a different type of grief and trauma.Adoptive Parent:Insecurity—who’s the real parentAdoption Unfiltered OnlineSupport the showPlease leave us a rati

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My wife and I adopted a newborn baby almost 3 years ago and we could not be happier. Now that he is getting a little older, he is talking and starting to understand things. My question is how can we best normalize his adoption with him? I know it is better for kids to grow up with everyone being open with him and his adoption so it feels like now is a good time to start.  But I am not sure how to that with an almost 3-year-old.  For context, we do not have any contact with the birth family. We send updates and pictures to the agency, but they have not expressed interest in having contact with us. This always seemed like an avenue to start that conversation (you have a birth family and an adoptive family). Without that, I’m not sure how to start talking to him about adoption.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.Resources:Talking about Adoption, Part 1: Talking with 0-5 Year Olds (Article)Talking with Kids about Adoption (Resource pa

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Many prospective adoptive families feel anxious about the home study. Our guest, Sheila Kowit, is an adoption social worker with Adoptions From the Heart. She prepares home studies for both domestic infant and international adoptions. She explains what the process is like, what you can expect, and what you will learn in the home study process.In this episode, we discuss:What is an adoption home study?Is it possible to get one home study that can be used with all types of adoptions: domestic infant, foster care, and international adoption?What is the purpose of the adoption home study?At what point in the adoption process is the home study usually done in domestic infant adoption?In international adoption?How long does it take to complete an adoption home study in domestic infant adoption?In international adoptionHow much does an adoption home study cost for domestic infant adoption?For international adoptionWhat information can the prospective

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I had a swift match and placement in December. When we were presented with the case, all that was reported for drug use was smoking 12 cigarettes a day. After about a month of trying to get medical records from the hospital for my pediatrician, I discovered my baby’s meconium tested positive for meth. This lab test resulted on Monday, and we were released from the hospital the Friday before, so no one told us about this result. The agency got me the medical records and didn’t mention them when sending them to me. I was also told the birth mom had prenatal care when the medical records say spotty prenatal care.     I was shocked when I came across the lab results. We met both of my son’s birth parents a couple of times while in the hospital and had good visits. My husband is usually very good at identifying people on drugs, but he didn’t suspect anything was amiss. We met our son’s siblings, and they all seemed well care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you raising a mixed-race child? Join our conversation with Nicole Doyley, a biracial woman raising biracial kids, and the author of What About the Children: 5 Values for Multiracial Families.Terminology: what is preferred-biracial, mixed race, multi-racial, mixed?Biracial includes Black/White, Black/Asian, White/Asian, Hispanic/Black, Indigenous/Black/Hispanic. In this interview, we are talking about mixed-race, but families can also be mixed culturally.Is it true that mixed-race is the fastest-growing group in the US?Issues facing biracial people in the US. Based on personal experience as well as a 2020 Vox Survey of Mixed Americans.No man’s land of racelessnessHaving to always answer the question “What are you?”Not fully accepted by either raceWanting to ditch one race so as to be fully the other raceFeeling isolatedConfused identityRejecting the idea of having to fit into just one box As a child, you didn’t like the ambiguity that biraci

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: For three months now, we’ve been fostering our 17-year-old son, with the intention of adopting. My question is regarding attachment. How can you tell if the child is setting up boundaries or testing you to see how hard you’ll pursue/run after them?Resources:Creating and Cultivating Attachment (Resource page)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building