Inappropriate Conversations

Time to respond to feedback, formally, for the second time.  The P's and Q's are your points and questions: excellent ideas for me to consider ... hopefully with adequate answers.  Thanks! Different Drummer: Teri Garr Do Ask Do Tell - "Religion"

Most emphasis on "the good old days" is about comparing the current state of society to a time when moral values were stronger and centered on the traditional family structure.  The problem is that those longing looks to the past are full of self-deception.  Even The Puritans, who are often held up as an extreme example, were not what society has said they were.  Premarital pregnancy, open discussions in church meetings about sexual behavior, and even second-trimester abortion were not at all out of place then.  I'll bet you didn't learn that in American History class. Different Drummer: Thomas Paine

I shared my perspective about "9/11" on September 12, 2004, before a church congregation.  I wanted to make note of three particular ideas because I could already see them fading from popular thought.  Immediately following the terrorist attacks in 2001, it was easy to infer a consensus around these notions: evil exists, people are intrinsically valuable, and truth is not relative.  Now, 7 years after that speech and 10 years after the attacks, it's clear that I was right to worry.  We don't remember what we believed about those ideas in September 2001, and we can't satisfactorily explain why. Different Drummer: Indigo Girls

Our goal as parents cannot be making the world safe for kids.  That is irresponsible because it cannot be accomplished and won't serve them well as adults.  Instead, the goal must be to keep our kids safe from the world until they have been prepared to face its challenges on their own.  For many of my conservative friends, this sounds like a dangerous and radical concept.  It's also true. Different Drummer: Jim Henson

One major generational shift from when I was growing up until now: the role of imagination in childhood.  When I was young, toys didn't often come with a story.  You made up the story using toys or even household objects.  Now, effort is required to provide similar opportunities for our young, future storytellers.  Has an entire generation of "imaginary friends" been left, abandoned and alone? Different Drummer: Jerrold Freedman Springfield (left) and Frank (right)

While I'm playing music on my MP3 player, it is almost always set to shuffle.  I believe in variety and unexpected combinations, and radio stations have not provided that at any time in my memory.  When you hear "your station for variety" or other taglines, it never refers to a combination of rock, country, jazz, classical, spoken word, and other genre.  Why not?  A format with that challenging combination might never lead the market, but a program like that might prove to be the second choice for a very large set of listeners. Different Drummer: Francis Picabia

Easily the best argument against television is that it's not very good.  I believe that I would only watch a couple of programs a week if it weren't for sports and the power of recording.  DVR makes it possible to screen what I see.  A better tool would let me replace the current TV offerings with the older programs they are referencing.  Surely, all these imitators of "I Love Lucy" have some explaining to do! Different Drummer: Jay Bulworth

The way we use products as customers is a significant, and less acknowledged, pressure on the environment.  Even merchandise that we expect to last for years has become much more disposable.  Unfortunately, there is no easy way to backtrack from society's investment in lower prices, with lower quality.  We need to be wary, though, of what else we're tossing out when we dispose of old and worn things. Different Drummer: Jerry Mander

At some point, the idea of capital punishment stopped being about protecting society through the dispensation of justice, and it started being about settling the score for crimes that offend a lot of people.  The word "heinous" could almost be defined as "justification for revenge."  If you take vengeance away from the death penalty, we would certainly seek such a sentence far less often. Different Drummer: Neil Peart

The best argument against the existence of God that I have ever heard makes a mistake you see more often in "young earth" creationism.  It's the belief that time has a permanence, an importance, even a "reality" that we frankly should not trust.  Ironically, tracing the philosophy of religion through an argument that has led me to question this faith in time ... well, it requires a greater number of minutes than usual. Different Drummer: Norman Kretzmann

6) America could not provide adoptive homes for more than a million children per year over limitless successive years.  7) After agreeing to pay a clinic several hundred dollars, a woman does not need an extra day of waiting to decide if she is doing the right thing.  8 ) Most Americans do not know the names and telephone numbers of more than 30,000 women, and certainly none can name that many new acquaintances for each calendar year.  9) If doctors never study or practice the abortion procedure, then an emergency abortion to save the life or health of a pregnant woman is less likely to be safe and free from complications.  10) If a person threatens the life or welfare of a man's wife, most of us would understand the man's decision to kill this assailant -- even if we wouldn't take that same action ourselves for moral reasons. Different Drummer: Aristotle

1) Abortion is not murder.  2) Abortion is a bad thing.  3) Human beings are a species in no danger of extinction.  4) You can stop abortion only by eliminating the demand, not the supply.  5) The immorality of abortion will not be reduced by making the practice stringently illegal. Different Drummer: Tony Kaye

There is an old adage that says you'll be happy and successful if you "do what you love" for a living.  Don't believe what you hear.  That saying is only almost right.  "Love what you do for a living" is better advice, and the difference is not mere subtlety.  We should hold the things we truly love as intimate and not fully invest them in the pursuit of trade or commerce.  On the other hand, the things we do professionally must have some underlying passion if we are going to be successful. Different Drummer: Ira A. Robbins

Even the deepest, most meaningful relationships can suffer if we forget how they started.  This is true in the Bible, where the Hebrew people seemed forget about everything in the book of Exodus before they even stepped into the land of Canaan.  It's also true in our human relationships, where sacred ground needs to be respected and protected.  I remember what I was doing 30 years ago this week ... and I pray that I never forget. Different Drummer: Tracy Pollan

The word "perversion" carries a more negative connotation than the word "diversion" despite the similarities in the concepts.  In both cases, something is turning away from an original or predicted course.  I would recommend caution rather than condemnation, though, when we either cannot explain the cause of the deviation or there is very little we can do about it in hindsight. Different Drummer: David Allan Coe

Most debate you hear today is about winning/losing and not about resolving questions and finding answers that will move society forward.  All of us lose when arguments are presented in this manner.  Instead, we need to listen better, speak more clearly and often at greater length, and live up to higher standards.  Guidelines include: granting opponents as much ground as possible, holding ourselves and others to the integrity of stated positions, and striving to find "the rest of the argument." Different Drummer: Dwight MacDonald Dan Carlin's Common Sense 194: State Of The Union (particularly 33:00 - 55:35)

"Gospel" means "good news."  Easter is all about hope and new life.  Why, then, would any church devote this particular Sunday to a message about hopelessness and despair?  The worst Easter Sunday sermon I've ever heard did precisely that.  I think the reason has a lot to do with many Christians having no clue that Jesus came to save the world rather than condemn it.  If you have read John 3:16 (and didn't stop there), you should know this.  It is written. Different Drummer: Johnny Cash

When the Psalmist speaks of the Lord's name being declared throughout creation, that includes popular culture and secular music.  I reject the idea that some sort of "culture war" makes any sense.  As a Christian, I believe that all of creation declares God's glory -- all of it.  If we listen, we will hear. Different Drummer: Ed Ames

Did you hear the one about "V8® Nate"?  No doubt, it's offensive.  Have a happy April Fool's Day! Different Drummer: John S. Hall

A common stereotype is that athletes and coaches are reactionary "dumb jocks" who only stir up trouble in a school environment.  I have personally experienced the exact opposite, which is not to say that either stereotype is true.  I openly wonder how racism functions within those assumptions and what it says about us if we don't even notice. Different Drummer: Jim Valvano