Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

Finally! Someone is talking about the real issues - how do you mop up all that stuff after you make kisses? A nice British lady is going to show us the way (it's the Shower). Plus - you weigh in on the Personality Battle. Hey, some of you are a little TOO honest. Thanks. We meet a lady who wants to live with no environmental impact. That includes REUSING toilet paper. NEAT. And Hey, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans rolls on.  

The McAfee Virus guy isn't just a genius when it comes to protecting your PC. He also has discovered that hammocks are great for lounging on and pooping off of. Just listen to this parade of women tell you about it.  Plus, you've picked sides when it comes to #Water, #Posture and #fitness. Now the two jeans break down who has a better #personality. Which side are YOU on?! We have a new most boring video ever. Is it real? Doubtful. More dad accents, Horrible or Hilarious and some Hall Of Fame level ordering of "Hi, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans!"

Reach into your pants, hold on to your twig and berries and take a DEEP SNIFF. That's how you train to be a good pup. Good boy.    Tommy is deep in his weight loss competition with Burnt. These last 24 hours are rough! We revisit with Orlando Brown who has new ways to describe his sexual exploits.  Plus, what YMH word does Tina add to her coffee order? Are you ready to step up your "Hi Mommy, Thanks Jeans" Game?  It's all here. 

Does your shoulder hurt? Have you tired saluting the Fuhrer? We can tell you one thing for sure - It Helps!! Christina considers the Skullet - the haircut that Tommy has been pushing for years. Will you urge her to get it done? Thanks. The Mommies consider potty training for their little boy. What word should they use to describe going number 2? Making brown, caca, taking a dump. Lets figure it out together.  We revisit the EV mic guy and more mommies are doing "Hey, mommy" orders.

These Jeans are ready to party. We always knew that Subway served up sandwiches, but we didn't realize there was so much MUSTARD on them. In this episode we explore two entirely different locations with two very upset customers - each expressing their disappointment in a unique way. PLUS - Top Dog and Charo stopped by to do some line reads. We play you the whole thing. That and SO much more. Merry Xmas, Santa Jeans.

This week, the mommies dive deep into the world of Orlando Brown, get festive for the Holidays with an amazing Instagram singer, discuss the weight loss competition and much much more!

Diamonds on the crevice of your ??? I'll give you three guesses. We have so much to share with you! Get ready to pull 'em high and tight! This week we tickle some bodies with our new favorite Disney star, talk about Tom's time in West Palm Beach, and find out just how unparliamentary Elizabeth May can get when she's had a few drinks! Jeans up!!

We love our brothers and sisters to the North, but there's one lady in Parliament who clearly isn't on board with the show - she's anti F-A-R-T! Please keep heckling her. You think you know Tom and Tina, but have you met Karen and Bobby? They're here unless they're drinking or smoking or having sex. Plus an outrageous call with Top Dog and Charo and some amazing clips including one really cool lady who loves when guys spray their love on her (face). This episode is LOADED.

Would you marry your mom? Really. That's so cool, cause like, me too. Kiss her for real.  The Mommies moved this week and with a lot of help came a lot of stranger dumps. So many.  Plus a really massive, fat lady will let you pay to watch her be gross. Master of Accents, Pup Play and a lot more. As always, Bert is so fat and it's being celebrated all over the world. 

We did it, We locked down the guy who will call you a C**T to your face. That's right, Dan Pena is on the show!  So fun to talk to the master of cursing in business. Dan was as fun as you might imagine.  Plus the Jeans are not only fresh off their Bannismurfurney where they got a Couples Massage (yuck), Tina also claims disrupted relaxing time with a F-A-R-T.  AND, seems that President Camacho is actually going to run the free world. Interesting times ahead! Many Masterful Accents in this one!

Even babies know the truth - Bert IS fat, but also our dear friend Burnt Chrystals has a new special coming to Showtime called The Machine and he goes by the name Bert Kreischer in it. Plus Tommy and Tina watched the movie, Shark Bites - you might like but it has one BIG flaw (same as the Martian with Matt Damon).  There's a really white DJ who really feels comfortable with BIG WORDS and all kinds of accents to master in this one. Who is the Water Champ? Now we can all be with the NEW Water Champ shirt! Get one for Christmas or just to show everyone who H2Flow is in your house.  Keep those jeans up!

NO Loose jeans allowed here. We find the ultimate dad boner who relights the fire that only Garth can put out. Plus, Tommy AKA Tomaso speaks eh, de Espanish on TV, we have Would You Rather, Perfect Smiles and MORE!

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at Christina's ex-boyfriend who know works as an insane deck hand, a couple of fighting brothers who desperately want you to look at them, and go in depth on Tom's most recent physical

This week, the mommies watch a bunch of public service announcements, some hilarious, some horrible. They also get a translation for the Persian voicemail, which kicks us off to a journey into Christina's childhood. Wipe down!

Jeans! We hope 2014 is treating you well. I mean, if it isn't, that's terrible because it literally just started. This episode/momisode we are giving you what would normally be a bonus! It's LIVE from San Diego. Hope you enjoy it! Sharkeisha, NO!

Matt Braunger AKA Six Finger Frank AKA The Dutch Welder AKA Happy Hamcakes is in the building. Comedian, actor and all around good buddy Matt sits down with us as we talk about how great it would be to have Tony Soprano as a father. After all, we are all White, which is a huge plus these days. We go DEEP with Matt as we share and discuss revelations about ourselves and how we discover truths and act on them (For Reals, dawg). Beware of PSYCHOS! They're not just characters on TV. They're everywhere and you probably know a few. Shia LaBeouf, pay attention here. We are back exploring the musical talents of the oozing-with-talent mega movie stars of the last 20 years. Eddie Murphy, Don Johnson and Russell Crowe all, uh, sing? The episode is the DOGS T*TS! (There's even a Lorenzo Lamas story)

Wussup playa! Wut you gonna get dat gurl for Chrissmas? We hope you got all the denim that you asked Sandy Claws for and we hope you got nothing but denim from all your loved ones. We have many special gifts for you this episode. Fan favorite, but rare guest, ARPAD is back! Yup, Tina's dad and everything that annoys him is on the phone doing what he does best - calling out all Bull S**T. Advertisers, BEWARE. CP's pops is not falling for your gimmicks. Actually he is fully rebelling against them. He is also NOT A FAN of political correctness. At all. It's not Happy Holidays to him. It's Merry Christmas or GFYS. If his tirade doesn't convince you, we also have Top Dog speaking in eerily similar fashion. Plus, Aunty FeeFee, the 69 Boyz, Dominic the Donkey and a whole lot MORE! (Santa's Evles??? Maybe).

Ryder Bones AKA Skyler Stone is in the building. We explore one of our favorite topics - crazy people! They're everywhere an often undiagnosed. Have fun out there! Skyler talks about his new movie, Walking with Dinosaurs and the show that got him started, CON. If you never saw it you missed out on the drive, dedication and manipulation that took Skyler from unknown to TV star in no time. Skyler's awesome voice inspires Tom and Christina to pursue voice over work themselves. Will they go for it?  Plus, Dental Updates, Fill Her Up, an almost-Tom or Black and much more. Don't sleep on Mickey Streets!

OMG, you guys. We got such a huge response to the Maria call that we revisit it and all its hilarity. According to Christina, Tommy doesn't show much excitement about anything. Well, that is, until you propose that he might be able to get away with murder! That's a fun scenario that we break down because everyone wants to do it, don't you agree? Tina and Tommy also talk about going back in time and what they would do if they could take each other on a first date knowing what they know now. As you can imagine, it's quite romantic. We read a listener email that asks the HARD questions. Do we answer them? Oh yeah. What would you do if you had 6 months to live? We do it real big. Tina has opened a savings account to go to space. Please donate. 

Yoooooooo! We got some jammy jams for yo you know what. Plus we examine the age old question - "How loud is annoying when having an orgasm?" Yup, that's too much. We appreciate each and every one of you "Little Mommies" and this episode we show that appreciation by talking to one of you on the phone and giving a shout out to many more! It idn't Greazy or nuttin. Jeans Connection is no longer a mystery - we have it TRANSLATED! Plus TOP DOG is back with more Brown Talk, Murder and a whole lot more! You're gonna wanna stab someone in the chest with a fork and knife after this one!