Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

This episode is gooder than a bitch! Get those jeans ready. Tina and Tommy had opposite weeks. Tommy was in Austin while Tina was in Cleveland - coincidence? Maybe, but no. Which race do you trust the most? We share our thoughts and they're mostly DARK. When you sh*t on Los Angeles, you really disrespecting yourself, man. Don't hate on L.A. just cause you live somewhere awful. HUGE dental update from Tommy. Keep gully, ya'll. High and tight for life!

BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW! Poetry comes in so many different forms. BAM BAM BAM BAM. See? That was some good stuff right there too. Your Mom's House is FULLY CHARGED once again with Zen like comedy guru and all around denim approved guy, Matt Fulchiron. We cover lyricists and those who aren't as good, being an a**hole to land a woman, pregnancy scares when you're dating are even SCARIER! A VERY uncomfortable D**K Detectives - we get to the bottom of this mystery! Sharing a condo is a nightmare, Charles Ramsey and more! 

You think that just because you've had ribs and listened to salsa music with someone that you know them - but that isn't always the case. Charles Ramsey tells it like it is and that's why we can't get enough of him on YMH. While some are quick to point out he isn't the most media saavy man on the planet, we're here to tell you that is precisely why he is so awesome. He is SO awesome that we hope he comes to see Christina in Cleveland this week - lets make it happen. We went back to Snooshi and we ate WHATEVER WE WANTED, Buns tells you how dope T Dot was and it gets real jeansy when The D**K Detectives go after their next case - Matt Fulchiron! All that plus prostitutes and more! Cut holes into your denim!

KaBOOM! It's Friday which means more jeans. We recap the latest episode of Gigolo's because Brace puts on a performance of a lifetime. So many amazing Bracisms, hope you can handle it. Which Gigolo would Christina hire??? Secrets revealed! THEN, it's the return of Top Dog! This is a call unlike many others - less brown, more bush! You will feel so much closer to Top Dog after this one. Also, did you know 7-11 has great coffee too!?!

Everyone is welcome in Your Mom's House. It don't matter if you're black, brown, purple or Asian - oh or gay. We accept you all. In this episode we discuss the recent announcement of Jason Collins - the NBA player who just announced that he is gay. We also discuss the reactions to his announcement and their role in free speech, tolerance, and righteousness. Sound un-mommy like to you? Well, we are soon back to discussing meeting our heroes, white trash Italian food vs. uppity Italian food, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut in the "where the dudes at?" genre. Gimme some mo (jeans)! 

Some people make your P***y dry! Who does that in your life? Now let them know. Good job. We talk about regrets in life, how awful some audience members can be, how awesome others are, but the big news is that our sushi server who berates for ordering too much is caught on tape giving us the biz! The real scoop is that we really don't order that much, this woman just hates us and everyone who orders more than 4 bites. Then we share what is perhaps the most infuriating 60 Minutes piece we have ever seen -at least in the consumer market genre-and we want our mommies to know the truth. Sunglasses are a racket! Theo fills it up! Oh My GOD!

If you don't have teeth, why don't you sing a song? ALL black people can sing...is something a lot of white people believe. We're a couple of only a few who know this is a great mystery. After this episode you will also know the truth. We give you a FULL REPORT on how the THEO fundraiser was an overwhelming success. We are forever grateful to our friends, fans, Theo, and jeans. Memorable dumps are just that - great memories. We recap some of our fondest brown moments. REAL TALK - Gigolos is back!!! That's right, welcome BACK to Braceland! We have clips of the show and of Nick's NEW Sh***y song! Sex sounds! Fill Her Up and more!

These aren't your dad's jeans! We tell you that aging means that your accomplishments aren't noteworthy - deal with it! If your newly single, the secret is New D**K and New P***Y. Do you know what the worst intros possible are that exist for us as comedians? Don't worry, we'll recreate them for you. Do you need healing of any kind? Does your back or arm or teeth or feeling hurt? Please stare into the eyes of Braco. Don't talk to him or ask any quesions. Just look at him and feel his essence (and buy his jewelry) and you may be healed. If you can't stand staring consider going to see Crapzo - he won't talk but will jizz on you. Plus Fill Her/Seal Her Shut completely dead style! Put some jeans on layaway. 

Well it's Tommy's Smurfday! What did you get him? Sometimes you eat some stuff and then a lot of brown comes out. That happened to us this week. Also, we recap spending time with OMG Maria and even THAT feels like a work out. Our local Starbucks knows her by name and memorized her order: No DC's there! Tommy has a major dental update - will you press play to experience it?!? Who on God's earth likes milk? You're gross. Denim on denim on denim. 

OH MAH GAWD SERIOUSLLAAHHHH, Maria is here, you guys! This is a dream come true in the Mommy Dome. Tommy's older sister and Starbucks' Enemy Number One, Maria stops by for a chat and she jumps in like a pro. She shares more contempt for more employees of new company's while also getting down with some of the tried and true segments of YMH. Get to know the Maria you thought you knew (she knows Tom's voice) while hearing about her military exploits, how she deals with Top Dog, and conceding that Jane does in fact have better teeth and vision. It's so fun when your jeans get even tighter cause you just washed 'em!

ATTENTION all Jeans, we hope you can hear this! Sorry for the trouble with 107 - it wasn't me! (It wasn't Blueban either). Can a loving mommy have more than one pair of jeans? Jada-Pinkett Smith sure makes it sound like Big Willie Style has been doing his best to drop his D in as many extras as possible. We discuss whether or not we could tolerate Tina with all her Ricans and Tommy smashin road box. Tina updates you on her Russian teeth fillings and we bring back Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut with some modern day broads up against some throw-back ho's. Theo gets back on the mic and Would You Rather is at its best - real homerun scenarios. Jeans Out!

Wuss goin on here? Public dicks. How many have you seen? We recap a lifetime of sightings and the way they have affected us. Not only has the OG Ryan Sickler graced us with his feast-like presence we also have Tinas cousin Juli in the Mommy Dome. We talk about drugs that hit ya in a way you didn’t expect (NOT GOOD). We go over different types of Punk music (anarcho, crust, awful, etc.) and how much Christina still hates UB40 (the world’s greatest band?). What do you know about Sister Nancy? Prison dudes love booty and more! Go ahead and bookmark this as one of your favorite episodes yet. Cut holes in your jeans.

Oh my what a good time we have for you here. The Voice, Michael Schiavello superb sports broadcaster and all-around great guy became a world-wide phenom this week when his pronounciation of Danny Mainus' last name sounded more like My Anus and well, hilarity ensued - especially if you are like a 5th grader like we are. Luckily for us, Schiavello is our budy so Tommy gave him a call and got the EXCLUSIVE scoop! Plus Tommy and Tina share their love of Downton, arguing over becoming "dog-Sh*t" people, how Tina's dad handles dogs & problems, World Wrestling Nonsense and more!! This is one of those episodes that will have you wishing you had tighter jeans. 

The episode will teach you the two greatest things in life, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut." If that sounds like some real mafioso stuff, well, it is. This has to be one of the most fascinating episodes we've ever done. Our guest is comedian, writer and son of mobster, Tony Hinchcliffe AKA Tony Marsco AKA Tony Nickels AKA Tony Tip Toes. You'd never guess it but Hinchcliffe grew up the son of a mob boss father and bookie mother. HOW DO YOU NEED MORE INFO AFTER THAT?? We also revisit Angel and more of her secrets, but mostly this episode is everything Organized Crime. Put on your pressed jeans for this one.

It gets really real this episode, little mommies. We open up to you about our past week - a tough one for us and the little doggie we adopted, Theo (Dr. Huxtable's son). Thankfully, he's still with us. We also get Jeansy with Angel from Angel's Fellatio Secrets - yes, that one. She gives a great interview and gives tips on getting ding dongs down, painless anal and more. Plus, certain cultures behave in very specific, sometimes gross ways. Are you one of those? Do you know people who are? Share with us. We love her!

Joe Bartnick is a man. The kind of man the you can easily imagine having his way with you. He is large and powerful and most likely stronger than you and capable of forcing you to do what he wants you to. Sorry if now you think Joe Bartnick is going to make you blow him. Joe is also a hilarious comic and a kind soul. Joe is a comics comic that loves to shoot the shit and talk shop which is exactly what we do with him. Bartnick has written for the roasts and tours with Lisa Lampanelli. We talk about fighting, teeth, touring and jail. Bartnick also has a new album out, Salute! -Available on iTunes and CDbaby. Joe confesses that he won't wear mommy jeans but he does own a nice pair of "Dad shoes."

Get those jeans EXTRA tight if you plan on listening to this one! Your baby's grandfather AKA The Dutch Sommelier AKA The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is back from Puerto Rico and it's like he never left! Although Matt agrees that being Puerto Rican is like being Puerto Rican he also knows that the West Coast is the Best Coast and it's the best having him in the Mommy Dome. We talk about the horrors of sharing an NYC apartment, growing older, gagging while blowing (we tried it), more trigger songs and we even TRY to digest the BOSS. Plus we break down how bad early rap lyrics were. Keep em high!

Guess who is OUR new best friend? Yeah, it's Alison Rosen and soon you will be calling her DEAREST MOMMY. Alison fit in like a new pair of extra tight jeans. She's not only a co-host on Adam Carolla and host of Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend, she's also Up for the Get Down and a total pro on the mic. It's so fun that we talked longer than usual and cover everything from Alison's new engagement to Trigger Songs that make you angry to Dental Updates and we even get in a Tom or Black that is an instant Classic! Have fun with this one. It's real JEANSY!

It's HERE! We made it all the way to Episode 100! What better way to celebrate than with the little man who started it all with us, our son, Redban. This episode is so much mommy it's completely made of denim! As as treat to you, the little mommy, we have special appearances from OMG Seriouslahhhhh Maria, Top Dog, and Gigolo Brace! Plus SOOOOO much more! Your Mommies Love You!

Awwww yeah, just a couple of mommies sittin around with their jeans up. We get right to it quick on this one. Breaking down the White Tigress takes time and we didn't get to do that last time, so we really give her her due on this one - she really wants her reward! Tom and Sushi seem to be a recipe for Shirleying himself that the Asians see coming and we appreciate that. We discuss the hilarious comedy Human Centipede that we hadn't seen until recently and we also visit why Sweet Brown never made it on the show until now - IS SHE EVEN REAL?!?! Plus Tog Dog drops science about his weightlifting days and more! Be The Best Mommy You Can Be.