Hate Read Podcast

Welcome back, Literary Slummers, to our second holiday episode of 2018. Santa heard that Anna hated the song Christmas Shoes with a fiery passion, and decided to punish us both for being such mean, hateful readers all year long. He found something much worse than coal: the novelization of said Christmas song. Will Anna & Em be able to overcome this challenge and discover the true meaning of Christmas along the way? Tune in to find out! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be Reading: Fault in Our Stars by John Green The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin Happy Holidays! Have a terrible book you'd like to see us tackle in 2019? Let us know! hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @amdeebee, @emnoteliza hatereadcast.wordpress.com We'd love it if you could leave us a sweet, sweet 5-star review on iTunes!

Ding dong, Literary Lovers, welcome to GushRead, the podcast where we “challenge” each other to read books we absolutely adore. This fortnight, we revisit a book that Em wasn’t so sure about in the past, but, spoiler alert, turns out she was just being a dumb. Join us as we discuss the holiday classic Hogfather, in which Death has to pretend to be Discworld’s version of Santa. Holiday hijinks ensue. Thank you so much to loyal listener and friend of the podcast, Sam, for stepping in as Samta Claus! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett Christopher Moore Jasper Fforde What is the opposite of a silver-lining? Let us know! hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @amdeebee, @emnoteliza hatereadcast.wordpress.com We’d love it if you could give us that sweet, sweet 5-star rating on iTunes!

Welcome back, Literary Slummers! Do you like overly explained narratives, casual sexism, and the glorification of anti-social assholes? Then have we got a book for you. We hated this one so much that Em had to leave about 30 minutes of discussion on the cutting room floor (bless you, Em). Tune in as we attempt to sort out the plot from the exposition in Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. This fortnight, Anna is joined by a special guest, Lindsay! Everyone say “Thank you, Lindsay!” You can check out her instagram: @lelleellel Also take a peek at our website: hatereadcast.wordpress.com. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/19/17250892/ready-player-one-book-facebook-internet-dystopia Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell Lethal White by Robert Galbraith Fortune’s Pawn by Rachel Bach Have you ever been called a “fake geek girl”? Write to us and tell us all about it. hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter:

[Please excuse our sniffles and slightly altered voices - we’re both dealing with allergies, ugh.] You know what really didn’t need to be made? An adaptation of Romeo and Juliet in which the two leads are immortal beings fighting for opposite sides in the war of good versus evil, wherein the side of good wants soulmates to fall in love with each other, and evil wants the soulmates to kill each other. Come listen about the book that Em has declared her least favorite book she’s ever read. Ever. Also, we gotta talk about those inappropriate relationships once again, sorry not sorry. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Life After Life by Kate Atkinson Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller Any good retelling of anything Want to tell Anna how wrong she is about Romeo and Juliet? Or yell at Em for not liking Terry Pratchett enough? Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @amdeebee, @emnoteliza We’d love it i

Welcome back, Literary Slummers! This fortnight we have another special rewind episode full of paranormal teenage hormones, 90s nostalgia, and a few extremely inappropriate romantic relationships. Join us as we discuss the werewolves and meat boys in Annette Curtis Klaus' Blood and Chocolate! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz Rather Be Reading: Bitten by Kelley Armstrong The Trickster's Choice by Tamora Pierce Have you ever had a relationship with a paranormal individual? We want to hear all about it! hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @amdeebee, @emnoteliza

Welcome back, Literary Slummers! This fornight, we tackled our first Nicholas Sparks book, and wow, was it an experience. We had a lot of expectations going into this one. Some of them were met in hilarious and unnecessary ways. Others... well, let's just say it made for a good HateRead. Come along with us on this journey of creepy stalking and unsatisfying romance as we discuss Nicholas Sparks' 1998 classic, Message in a Bottle. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan Landline by Rainbow Rowell The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee Credit for serial killer music used: "Welcome to HorrorLand" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

We're back on our search for the Holy Grail of bad books, as we reread Dan Brown's most famous work. From weaponized peanuts to sex cults, there's plenty of secrets to uncover this week. But will we be able to answer the ultimate question: Do we still hate this book? A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: Lethal White by Robert Galbraith Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore Are you in a sex cult? Write to us and let us know! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

TW: Body horror, self harm This week, Anna challenges Em to read our spookiest story yet, as we head deep into the jungles of Mexico with Scott Smith's The Ruins. We'll experience all the horrors of drunk tourists, sad handjobs, and of course, very scary plants. Come get creeped out with us on this fortnight's episode! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: Misery by Stephen King Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer Are you a sentient plant? Write to us and let us know! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Anna's back, and we're reading the only book to spend a mere 23 hours on the New York Times Best Seller list. But what did it do to deserve such treatment? Is it really as bad as people say, or are the negative reviews a response to the bad press? And what the hell is Carrot Top doing in this book? All that and more on this episode of Hate Read. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern Literally anything else. Are you one of the 18k people so in love with actor Thomas Ian Nicholas that you were mesmerized into buying this book? Write to us and let us know! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

It's an episode full of horrors here on hate read. Ghosts! Murders! Revenge! All of those will be briefly discussed and set aside for the greatest horror of all: teenage love triangles! It's a classic case of marketing gone awry, as we dive into a book which promised us spooky mayhem, only to emerge from the other side unspooked and entirely mayhemless. This fortnight, Em was joined by special guest host, Morgan Malyn. A big thank you to Morgan! You can check her out on twitter and insta: @iammorgan_m A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: To All The Boys I've Loved Before (and sequels) by Jenny Han Sadie by Courtney Summers Tiger Lily by Jodi Lynn Anderson Beloved by Toni Morrison What was your first ever hate read? Write us and let us know! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

We're going there and back again, as we rewind to one of Anna's least favorite books from her middle school years. We're not gonna lie to you guys, this episode ended up being a real unexpected journey. Come along with us, and Bilbo Baggins, as we travel through Middle Earth, to talk about Evangelical cartooning, Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, and so much more! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede The Adventure Zone: Here There Be Gerblins by Clint McElroy, Griffin McElroy, Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, and Carey Pietsch Which Avenger would you ship Bilbo Baggins with? Write us and let us know! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Ohmigod you guys! Did you know that before it was a hit movie and Broadway musical, Legally Blonde was a book? Well, it was, and we're here to read it so you don't have to. Before Beyonce made feminism cool again, Elle Woods was here to prove that women CAN have it all! If your definition of "all" includes manicures and a bad attitude, and excludes healthy relationships, any life goals unrelated to a man, and common sense. Join us as we grit our teeth through a book that, for once, is definitively worse than the movie. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: Landline by Rainbow Rowell Attachments by Rainbow Rowell The Hating Game by Sally Thorne Is your name Eggsalad? Write us and let us know what your parents were thinking! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

It's another Rewind episode here on Hate Read! We're checking out some of our least favorites from our Middle School years, starting with Em's pick. In what could be described as "Harry Potter if JK Rowling hated children," it's Midnight for Charlie Bone. It's the only book we've read where we left thinking "gosh, I wish this book had more child murders." A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (two episodes in a row!) The Abhorsen series by Garth Nix Legally Blonde by Amanda Brown (sort of) Honorable mention: Harry Potter, basically any manga Have your parents every abandoned you to go detect things, leaving you with a nanny from Social Services? Write us and fill us in on that process! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Is it possible? We're not sending a book straight to the dog house? Yes, for the first time ever on Hate Read, we've managed to completely botch the premise of the show and read a book that we don't totally hate! Don't worry, we said totally. There's still plenty to pick apart this episode, as we delve into a book that rivals Cruella de Vil in the "crimes against animals" department. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather be reading this fortnight: The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell All That Man Is by David Szalay Honorable mention: When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka Got any cute puppy pics to cure us of our dead-dog malaise? Send 'em our way! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Sorry to everyone who might have accidentally downloaded the version of the episode released yesterday. Everything should be back to regularly scheduled programming now! Welcome to what might possibly be the most f-bomb laden episode of HateRead yet, Literary Slummers. So many exciting twists and turns in this one. So many unnecessary details. So many poor decisions made. But remember, not everything is as it seems. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Aru Shah and the End of Time by Roshani Chokshi The Last Equation of Isaac Severy by Nova Jacobs Know anything about ghost writing? Please let us know all about it! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Who knew children’s literature could be so creepy? Come relive the horror of the Vermicious Knids, a bored, eternal candymaker, and some very interesting fanfiction with Anna & Em this week as they tackle another childhood hateread, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Coraline by Neil Gaiman The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snickett Did you read any good Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfiction? Send us your best example! (Or original work???) Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

TW: Assisted suicide. Ugh, ~emotions.~ Who needs them, amirite, Literary Slummers? Join Anna & Em as they discuss Will - a dude with a rude ‘tude - and Lou - an extremely boring, quirky girl - and how these characters cope with a physical disability. Spoiler: Not well, and we’ve got a lot of opinions about it. Also, for a bit of extra credit, read the sequels and let us know how those turn out! A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Jodi Picoult The Dark Lord of Derkholm by Diana Wynne Jones Have a terrible book suggestion for us? Any insights on the exotic dancer job market in the UK? Or send us pictures of your pets!! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Welcome to a special rewind episode of HateRead! Anna & Em have recorded a few episodes where they revisit books they read (and hated) throughout various points of their childhood and see if their feelings remain the same. Today, Anna revisits a book she was forced to read too many times as a kid, Little House in the Big Woods. Listen along as they discuss the hardships of living with Old Man Shovelhands, the merits of having blonde hair, and whether or not people knew what animals were in the 1800s. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Running Out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddix American Girl books Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White Tell us what books you hated from your childhood! Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Episode 12 - There’s Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins TW: Hazing. And also lots of murder. Welcome back, Literary Slummers! What do you get when a contemporary romance YA author takes a stab at the horror genre? Kind of a hot mess. Anna & Em head to the tiny town of Osborne, Nebraska to watch as teenagers from various cliques are brutally murdered. Who is the mastermind behind this wave of serial killings? And will their motive make any sense? You’ve been with us long enough to guess the answers, I’m sure. A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Obsidio by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins Have a bad book suggestion? Want to give us your best murder tips? Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee

Apologies again for the audio issues. Pretty sure our recording equipment is just haunted. Happy Monday, Literary Slummers! Anna & Em are diving into a classic this fortnight, Tortilla Flats by John Steinbeck. A novel about a group of minorities written by a white male - what could go wrong? A very special thank you to Ben Cope for our theme song! Check out his YouTube channel: youtube.com/fretwiz. Rather Be Reading: Bear by Marian Engel Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert Tempests and Slaughter by Tamora Pierce Have a bad book suggestion? Want to send us a t-shirt you made for us? Email: hatereadcast @ gmail Twitter: @hatereadcast, @emnoteliza, @amdeebee