Carbface

The co-(g)hosts of the best podcast ever, RETAIL NIGHTMARES, are here! Alicia and Jessica join us through an intricate web of Zoom, phone, and tin cans to help make our dreams come true. Plus, we have the podcast world premiere of BONGO DANCE by Auto Syndicate (Jay Arner and Jessica Delisle!)Listen to RETAIL NIGHTMARES.Order Alicia’s book, SO YOU'RE A LITTLE SAD, SO WHAT? Nice Things to Say to Yourself on Bad Days and Other Essays.Listen and support Jessica’s band, ENERGY SLIME.Follow Alicia on Twitter.Follow Jessica on Twitter.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Laurie and Chris. It’s the halting whisper of The Daily. Upstate New York. IGA. Super Valu vs. Super Value vs. Supr Value. The home of ham salad. An unknown self-quarantine. The murder basement. The NYT. Otterstan. Tiger King. Happy birthday, Laurie!Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Laurie and Chris, homebound.Please forgive the audio quality. We’re using USB mics. We’re alive and mostly well for now.Alternate titles:GO FOCACCIA YOURSELFLUNAR FOOTWEARGALLOPING LESSONSI'M COOKING FOODREAL-TIME GARBANZO FINDERCHICKPEA AVAILABILITY INDEXRELEASE THE BUTTHOLE CUTWHAT ABOUT PROM BLAINE?THE HOTDOG IS A GAPERA HOTDOG DOWN A HOTDOG'S HALLWAYCHICKPEA PERSONAL MASSAGERA GAME OF DODGEBALL FOR MY JUNKBE KIND, DO GOOD, EAT ASS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a mini-episode!It’s just Laurie and Chris, and that is a blessing to you and your life. Recorded before Christmas, this content is TIMELESS.Topics: Billy, chicken pox, clown mouth, Hustler magazines, and dog pregnancies. All this and what our favo(u)rite Food Network stars do on Jesus’ birthday.Sponsored by:Warby ParkerBarkboxStoryworthFollow AJ Spaceman on Twitter.Follow Melk the Band on Instagram.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Farideh is back with a brand-new cookbook! And it’s the very first episode of #CakeOnes.Buy the new cookbook from Farideh and the editors of MUNCHIES. It’s called MUNCHIES Guide to Dinner: How to Feed Yourself and Your Friends!Follow Farideh on Instagram and Twitter.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a mini-episode with Laurie and Chris (and a sexy robot voice). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Elazar Sontag is our guest!Topics: No further questions. A halitosis notification service. Julia and Grace. Peppers. Flavors of Oakland. How not to be an a-hole. Serious Eats. Crust Magazine. Paper Candy Gifts. Butt Detective.Follow Elazar Sontag on Instagram.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Laurie and Chris, with a little Cliss.Topics: JT made HI-CHEW beer and sent chocolate and fig preserves! Chris’ nightstand. Mai sent us paper food! The fish market. Going to the hospital. Dogs and bikes. Mrs. Clark, Chris’ first grade teacher. Hives. Do not blink. A socka fulla blood. A coupon. Saba Jam! A high amount of soft. Do you ever find yourself mad? Summer vegetables. Rold Gold is not Red Gold. The tomato fields of Indiana. A mailed potato. David has a pet named Walter. From behind. Keep your dog on a leash. Hank is puppo of the week. Retail Nightmares is the best podcast. Friendship. Personal Pan Rice Krispie Treats. Doughboys can’t be bought. No penetration of the Cracklin’ Oat Bran. Farley Elliott.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Laurie and Chris (no Cliss).Topics: Strong Mustard Content. A Rice Krispie Treat is a gift. Texts from family members. No Further Questions. None Pizza Left Beef. Jeremy Renner. Other people’s shoes. Dump and stir. Lemon Bullshit Cake recipe. Friends of the podcast. My love and your ignorance. What Was This Food Network Episode All About? Walgreens cookout.Episode Sponsors:BarkBox: http://getbarkbox.com/carbfaceWarby Parker: http://warbyparkertrial.com/carbface Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s just Laurie and Chris this week. Topics: Robot voice. Writing. Cliss’ brother. Beyond Goatse. Gilbert. A finger. Cat steam. Straws. Rat piss. Lots of Likes, Miami edition. JCP. Black and white cookies. Mashups. Todd Bridges. Patty Lupone. A Full Dinty house.We recorded remotely (using a podcasting service we will never use again), and the sound quality isn’t great. We promise future remote eps will have better sound quality.We love you and only want the best for you.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The fantastic Matt and Ted Lee are here to talk about their new book, Hotbox.Topics: Ball of goo. Bucket of kimchi. Alison Roman. These are things that happened. They’re real big. No further questions. Chef cruise. @Crust Magazine @anannadroid @hooleil @john_birdsall @korshawilson. Summer camp storytelling challenge. Laurie’s mom. Fiddlehead ferns. @restofesto @ruckerfoad (JT). The Summit Y. Roasted vegetables. Matt and Ted Lee. I will find you.Assignment: Call in your worst summer camp experiences to the Carbface Voicemail Hotline (+1.646.397.3357) or email them to carbfacepod@gmail.com.Follow The Lee Bros. on Twitter and Instagram.Buy their new book, Hotbox.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Maggie Hoffman, the original “Hello, Listener” is here with her new book, BATCH COCKTAILS!Topics: Sugar. Lunch but it’s breakfast. Train eating. Totes. Retail Nightmares with Alicia and Jessica. Remix. Pants on the inside. She’s got a deep voice, too. Connie Britton is a treasure. Esoteric HI-CHEW. Burger Rings. Weed City. Sloughed off flesh. Truffles in your underpants. A very brief statement on Peep’s. My favorite book of the Bible. It’s Hello, Listener! Julia Bainbridge’s podcast, The Lonely Hour.Follow Maggie Hoffman on Instagram and Twitter.Buy her book, BATCH COCKTAILS!Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Priya Krishna is here to talk about her new cookbook, Indian-ish!Topics: Amy Grant. Baby, Baby. Keith Thomas. Friends. Chris Judson. Amy Jahnke. Growers. Show-ers. Choads/chodes. Sari Kamin! June 15-16, Urinal Strike!Follow Priya Krishna on Instagram and Twitter.Buy her book, Indian-ish!Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yasmin Khan is here with her beautiful new book, Zaitoun: Recipes and Stories from the Palestinian KitchenTopics: Happy Cherry. The Greatest City in the World. Malfunctions. Introductions. Kai Ryssdal. Air horn. Durian. All the podcasts. Retail Nightmares is the best podcast. Happy birthday, Laurie. I would not bake for you. The sex lives of public radio hosts. Legacies. KRF. Terry Gross. Ari Shapiro. Nina Totenberg. Don’t look in my eyes. London. France. I see a dead chicken’s head. Mega Fauna. Speedways. OMG so much candy and seasoning and mustard from Marisa Miller! What’s the worst thing you ate? The Heavenly Bed. Boner pie. I’ll bake for you. Just facts.Follow Yasmin Khan on Instagram and Twitter.Buy her book, Zaitoun: Recipes and Stories from the Palestinian Kitchen.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sister and brother, Romilly and Griffin Newman, are our guests!Romilly (recovering teen chef) and Griffin (star of Amazon’s The Tick and co-host of the Blank Check podcast) join us to talk food, Chopped, and bodily ailments.Topics: Murder. JT. Owen. As a mom. Naps. Cancer, a Love Story, by Christen Clifford. Pen15. Cats. Piss Kiss. Travels. Nigella. A little eye. How to Shop. Retail Nightmares. Big ol’ bucket. Cake. Spice nerds. Fergus Henderson. Candy is a gateway to Jesus. Grape Mentos. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stella Parks/BraveTart is here, and she brought cake! Topics: The big headphones. 3D. LSD. Take half. Meetings. Speaking. Hello, listener. Always something to learn. Creating spaces. Everyone gets arrested. Navigating parties. Lemonade party. A list. Full Dinty, again. She’s ok. A hamster. Alaska. A wide-legged jean. Both eyes. Choose your choice. Greyhound. Flavorful Origins. PorknWhiskey. Wilford Brimley. Oatmeal. Will Scarlett.Follow Stella Parks on Instagram and Twitter.Read Stella on Serious Eats.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grace Bonney, founder of Design*Sponge + @goodcompanyzine and author of In The Company of Women, is our amazing guest, talking about the realities of publishing and so much more.Topics: Lin-Manuel Miranda. Dear Evan Hansen. Cool story, bro is not the name of this episode. Avocado toast shoes. Jesus buns. Food shoes. Wide feet. Full Dinty. Herp Mouth. Shoes for Cliss. Busy Tonight. Caissie St. Onge. Heels on the couch. It’s a pump. Straight in the eyes. Dragonfruit. Panic in the Kmart. Exotic candy. Child of a pirate. Take down your birthday. As a mom is back. Abandoned shopping malls. Grace Bonney!Follow embroiderer Tessa Perlow on Instagram.Follow Grace Bonney on Instagram and Twitter.Follow Good Company Magazine on Instagram.Discover where to buy Good Company MagazineFollow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dennis Lee (a.k.a., Fart Sandwich; a.k.a., Dickhole Dannis) is our beautiful guest!Topics: It came back. Therapy podcasts. Jade eggs. Feeling fresh. Before care. Beards. Grain bowls. Gifts. Six inches. Dinty. Plushies. Carbface apparel. Cake Ones. Cosplay. Real sex. Top five gifs. Bonito flakes. Ponies. Teeth. HalalSnackbox.com. Dirty John. Dennis Lee. Fart Sandwich. Dickhole Dannis. Toaster oven pop tarts.Follow Dennis on Instagram and Twitter.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our intern and Senior Editor at Food & Wine, Kat Kinsman is here!Topics: AJ Space Boy. Nando’s. Shout out to the Shetland Islands. All the Woolevers. Farming in Queens. Hot dog stand. Move the hole. Hot Ones. Chris Schonberger. Kat!Follow Kat on Instagram and Twitter.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mitchell Davis, Chief Strategy Officer of the James Beard Foundation, is our guest.He brought snacks!Alternate Episode Titles:A Single Shrimp in My PurseI Don't Like MusicJames Beard CosplayPickles, Honesty, HusbandThank You For Not Blocking MeEverything is Edible (If You Have Enough Teeth)Follow Mitchell on Instagram and Twitter.Follow CarbfacePod on Instagram and Twitter.Our PO Box:CarbfacePO Box 595New York NY 10185We love you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.