One Free Family

James and Taylor zoom in on a single day in their life, taking you through a challenging day in their parenting journey and how that looked for them. They talk about moments they failed to be the parents they wanted to be, times where they were in tense and heated discussions about their parenting, and how days like these can help us keep working on our parenting. They also discuss strategies for recognizing when little stressors are piling up and fraying our nerves, and how they bounced back from a tough day.  

Taylor and James take an episode to answer a few listener questions! How do they approach Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and other cultural myths, and why? How should we work with kids who are more introverted in situations where others are uncomfortable with their "shyness?" And finally, what do we do about "bad influences" that our kids can encounter online? James and Taylor talk about how we can have open discussions with our kids about the types of media they are interacting with, and how it might be affecting them. Show notes: Blake Boles' Off-trail learning podcast http://www.offtraillearning.com/

James and Taylor started by doing a mailbag, but ultimately spent the whole episode talking about a timeless parenting question: how do we make time for our relationship with our partner when kids are demanding so much of our attention? They discuss how we need to change our expectations as to what our time together might look like, how we can get in the right mindset for the changing seasons of our lives, and how we can practically and lovingly carve out time to build connection with our partners. Enjoy!

Talking about sex with our kids can feel uncomfortable, awkward, and even down-right scary. The alternative - one where our kids are "educated" about sex by their peers, media of all forms, and their own guesses - is almost certainly scarier. In this episode, James and Taylor talk about their approach to talking about sex with their own kids, and recommend some resources that they have found very helpful in approaching these discussions.  Talking about sex with our kids is like anything else - it gets easier with preparation and practice. The "birds and the bees" talk will almost never be enough to help our kids as much as it needs to, and while James and Taylor agree that they have nowhere near all the answers, they are excited to share how they are thinking about this rather sensitive topic right now.

It's something no parent really anticipates when they start adding more children to their family, but it happens way more frequently than most people like to acknowledge. Gaining a sibling can bring our kids a lot of joy, but it also brings out a number of complicated emotions that they might not be quite ready to process. Why is mommy spending so much time with this new kid when she used to spend more time with me? Why is that baby crying when we are in the middle of a game? And a number of other feelings that a kid could never even hope to name.  And, sometimes, these big feelings turn into impulsive behavior that can even be violent. As a parent it rattles us to the core of our being - who would want to hit such a sweet little child? While this sort of behavior almost never lasts forever, that doesn't stop it from being incredibly upsetting in the moment. In this episode, James and Taylor talk about strategies for trying to deal with these situations as peacefully and effectively as possible, as well as s

Humans have evolved over many millions of years to feel bored sometimes. Whether we're on a long plane ride, or just sitting around the house with "nothing to do," our minds are clearly hard-wired to occasionally send us the signal that we are bored. So why are conversations around boredom so painful between parents and kids? In this episode James and Taylor discuss how they approach these different types of "boring" situations with their kids. They talk about how to validate children's feelings of boredom, how to help kids work through their boredom peacefully and productively, and more!  

James and Taylor welcome their first guest ever onto One Free Family - their fist son, the 8 year old Ollie! They ask Ollie what it's like to be unschooled, how he learns without formal instruction, what's hard about being self directed all the time, and what we could do better as parents. Ollie then turns the tables and interviews us for a bit! Enjoy!

The idealized family that never disagrees about anything simply doesn't exist. Given that disagreements at home WILL happen, how can we help them to be as productive and healthy as possible? In this episode, Taylor and James share their ideas for how we can have fewer unproductive and recurring disagreements while working through the healthier disagreements more effectively. Disagreements are a great time to help everyone in the family feel seen and heard, and they don't always have to be painful!  

Last week James and Taylor took their kids to the sleepaway summer camp they co-founded - Camp Stomping Ground - and now they are back and full of thoughts. They talk about what it's like to be in community with 100+ kids who are all free to do basically whatever they want, what they learned about their own kids, and a lot of the child-development issues that are present themselves when you get so many kids of all different ages together in community. Are kids "lazy" when left to choose what they want to do? Can people of different backgrounds and ages get along without strict rules? How does Stomping Ground resolve conflict when it arises? Tune in and find out! Show notes: www.campstompingground.org

Over time, we've seen various marginalized groups gain more freedom over time, but one marginalized group that is almost never discussed as marginalized is children. In this episode, James and Taylor share examples of where ageism is directed against children, and how we can try to be less ageist in our own interactions. They also talk about how we can empower our children to be confident and self-reliant even in a world that tells them that they shouldn't be.  

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt pressured to parent your kids differently than your instincts tell you to, or than how you have planned? Maybe you don't have restrictions on screen time, but your friends and their kids do. Perhaps you're hanging out with friends and they discipline their kids in ways that you don't agree with. How can we navigate these situations and keep our relationships in tact? James and Taylor share how they've come to handle situations where they are spending time with people they care about who have different parenting philosophies than they do.  

One of the most common concerns we hear from parents considering helping their children to become more self directed in their learning is that they wouldn't know where to begin. In this episode, Taylor and James talk about their approach to helping their children pursue their passions and learn about the things that interest them while being mindful to not take over the learning process.   

An interview with Jake Desyllas from The Voluntary Life podcast. James and Taylor explain their approach to peaceful parenting and unschooling. We had a great discussion about questioning the concept of self-directed learning, and many other interesting topics. 

As peaceful parents, we hope to avoid punishing our kids in order to "teach them a lesson." But what about times where we simply have to intervene in order to keep our kids and others safe? Will our kids learn to respect others if we try to help them learn without punishments? What are some ways we can help our kids see how their behavior is affecting others? Join Taylor and James as they talk about their experiences helping kids through these challenging times. Resources: The Whole Brain Child https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing-ebook/dp/B004J4X32U   Zen Den - The Guard Dog and the Owl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8QN9an3t8  

We spend so much time asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, but what do we do to help them think more clearly about it? In this episode, James and Taylor talk about helping kids to think in an entrepreneurial way, to pursue their passions, and develop their own playbooks for improving at things they care about. They also talk about the importance of making our kids' interests more about them and less about our expectations.    https://fee.org/articles/why-unschoolers-grow-up-to-be-entrepreneurs/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201406/survey-grown-unschoolers-i-overview-findings

What we put into our bodies is one of the most personal decisions we make each and every day.  It can be tricky to figure out how to approach food with our kids when we're trying to honor their autonomy and also help support them to be healthy in the short and long term.  Taylor and James talk about their own uncertainty around this and share their experiences and how they currently approach food with their family.  

“Kids need consistency!” But must parents really have to be consistent for better parenting?

Teaching kids about money is one of the most important things you can do for your child, as a responsible parent. In this episode, James and Taylor talks about why it is so important to give your children a firm financial education.

Sleep deprivation is not a joke for new parents and kids. James and Taylor give out tips and other strategies to cope with this common problem.

Traveling with your kids can be extremely challenging. In this episode, James and Taylor share their story and tips during their recent trip to England.