Thriving Twogether

Penn and Kim Holderness are very fun to watch on the Amazing Race. In last night's episode they said something extremely profound for marriages and families. As they were navigating and becoming a little bit stressed they expressed their core philosophy as a family. "We think that others are always doing the best they can." Wow! Isn't that a game changer! Being benevolent and kind thinking, the best of others, and not putting them under the bus is a great step in showing mutual respect and high regard for all of mankind. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Are you familiar with the classic book Grit by Angela Duckworth? There's rarely a word so important to successful relationships as grit. Grit is a combination of enthusiasm and endurance. It's having the courage to try different approaches to get the ultimate result of success. Grit is learning that losing is a necessary part of winning. Grit is the opposite of ghosting, quitting and not showing up. And grit is very very mundane, pedestrian, and boring. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Looking back on over two decades of being married with a girl of my dreams, I think there's a few bits of advice that I wish I would have given heed to over two decades ago. Find out what those bits of advice are in today's episode. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

It was Earth Day and I was in the third or fourth grade as a recall. We were given a small pine tree seedling. I went home and planted it somewhere in our yard and didn't give much thought to it after that. Yet of course trees and marriages need more than just thoughts. Both need nurturing, nourishing. What's the one thing you'll do today that takes less than a minute but yet will yield huge returns as it blows your spouse's mind. For instance when is the last time you said I love you, or I'm sorry, or let me fix that right now? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Have you read the new book by the Holderness family? It's got a lot of insightful tips and ideas on how to finance better, become more intimate, solve contentious arguments and work through extended family challenges. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Dallin H Oaks once talked about ensuring that our strengths don't become our downfall by implementing humility into our lives. Alex Haley, the renowned author of Roots, once told the story of a turtle on a pole and then explainef a turtle doesn't get there by himself. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Like Boston said: Amanda.  Have you noticed that Amanda LaRusso in the Cobra Kai series is one of the few characters who remains true? She's often consistent in her love, forgiveness and expectations. She'll connect and she'll even confront those that she should but she'll do it in a calm manner. Be like Amanda. Seek to prevent confrontation. Don't be a jerk to a jerk. Be calm yet protective of everyone especially those on the margins. Expect the best of children and spouse. Be present. Calm. Collected. Connect. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

If you're familiar with the movie Dune or the book Doom then you're probably familiar with what Lady Jessica said about the least common denominator. Ensuring that the essential component that is depriving your relationship is revived will ensure that your relationship thrives. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Oscar Wilde has an interesting statement that says everything popular is wrong. In today's episode discover some of the things that are popular but don't add any value to your relationship. And discover some of the things that add value to relationship that may or may not be popular. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Two Finnish words show us some great teachings. Kanssa means with and Vastaan means against. In the classic book on swimming called Total Immersion, we learn that you want to swim with the water and become slippery not against the water and try to plow your way through like a barge. Same goes for marriage, we should work with our family not against. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Thomas Monson said no failure needs to be final. So how can we ensure that our spouse doesn't permanently fail? How can we be present for them emotionally physically and spiritually? In today's episode I go into describing what it means to be resilient and to be there for our spouse. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Gary Stevenson said that kindness causes healing. Notice that he did not say anger pushiness or frustration helps others and ourselves to heal. Rather kindness causes healing. Also noticed that he didn't say kindness facilitates or may cause healing. He talked about causation not correlation. Where could you apply kindness so healing will happen more readily in your relationships? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

With mutual esteem and high regard for one another because of our love of God it's easier to respectfully disagree. We confront rather than contend. We closely listen to another to change ourselves and to come up with a better solution instead of changing others. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Have you ever seen the Zen Dog show on Disney? Perhaps you've learned quite a few things from the show as I have. Walk with your companion not in front nor behind. Or connect don't control. Or perhaps don't raise your voice and treat each other with respect. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Have you read Seth Golden's new masterpiece called The practice? I took down several notes from The Practice and in today's episode I talk about how to apply them to your relationship. Learn about the discard pile and how big it should be, and learn about the genius of and. And and find out what is the difference between an amateur and a professional in marriage. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Today I talked about 10 steps to Kaizen, the Japanese word for continuous and never-ending improvement. Companies such as Toyota, Nestle and Canon have sought to follow the principles of Kaizen. In today's episode I discuss how we can use Kaizen in our families. And I discuss how the British bicycling team use Kaizen to get just a little bit better and experience explosive growth from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Gerald Jampolsky is the author of Love Is Letting Go Of Fear and he said “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.” I can't think of a better way of expressing forgiveness and simultaneously hope. Hope is expecting that the future will keep getting better, because we know who the Author of our story is. And forgiveness is also knowing who can take poor situations and make them better. Let go, and let God. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Joy Mangano's life story found in the Book Inventing Joy brings hope and inspiration. This is what I learned: you don't have to be good to get started you just have to start. Shift your skis don't necessarily stop. Celebrate the small wins. Questions ignite invention. "Over, under, around or through." Amway, then KMart, then QVC. Circle back to people instead of cutting them out of your lives, see the best in others instead of the worst. Always reinvent yourself. Her business grew 25X moving from QVC to HSN. Fix problems with attention and patience. You don't have to be good to get started. Speak up. Treat others fairly especially when they treat you unfairly.  Mix family with business. Failure fills your basket with opportunities. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

Liz Wiseman's book Multipliers is a treatise on how to become true leaders. It contains sage wisdom about avoiding being diminishers and creating multipliers. What is a multiplier? It's someone who challenges others, encourages others, and finds the good in others. She gives examples from Ernest Shackleton to Magic Johnson and from political candidates to business leaders. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support

According to Webster's dictionary ossification happens when bones become hard. Babies have little to no ossification. Their bones are malleable and un-hardened. What are some of the attitudes and traditions that have ossified in your life? What can you learn to become more malleable, more teachable? Has your love harden to towards a certain group of people? Or an individual? Now's the time to figuratively grab your baby toes and become un-hardened. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriving-twogether/support