You Haven't Seen What?

Often looking for the bigger, better deal, Rob Gordon traverses through relationships, one autobiographical record at a time. Parry: "I have a medical condition. It's called premature exposition." Joelle: "I married Rob Gordon."

Dirty Dancing is a story about finding out who you are, when you thought you knew exactly who you were and then falling in love in the most unexpected places (oh, and classism, sexism, and abortion). Parry: "broccoli wrapped in bacon" Joelle: "There's no basement in the goddamn Alamo!"

Another world, another time, in the age of wonder. A thousand years ago, this land was green and good - until the Crystal cracked. A single shard was lost. Then strife began and two new races appeared, the cruel Skeksis and the gentle Mystics. Now, once more, the world must undergo a time of testing. Now the Crystal must be healed, or pass forever into the rule of evil. What was sundered and undone shall be whole - the two made one. Parry - "Skeksis sounds like an STD" Joelle - "The Crystal" (ad infinitum)

The King of Spandex Miniskirts wants to bump off his annoying wife, but she is kidnapped before he has the chance. His mistress and her lover plan to blackmail him for the crime, but their "evidence" is compelling for the wrong reasons. The clueless kidnappers keep lowering the ransom in the hope that they can finally get their basement back. Only the Memphis furniture is more colorful than this cast of characters.  Parry: "Ruthless People might just be the nexus of the 1980s!" Joelle: "Eat your potatoes!"

When an 80's "Pack 'O Villans" vandalize a boy's beloved Honda Elite scooter, his sister goes straight to the main bully's father for restitution. But when his Douchey Dad forcibly attempts a sexual layaway plan and is accidentally shot by her brother, Billie Jean and her friends are forced to run. Along the road to redemption, Bille Jean becomes a modern day Joan of Arc as she leads a grassroots teen rebellion against narrow-minded adults in an attempt to prove that "Fair is Fair!" Parry: Is it really so surprising that I thought there was some connection between Billie Jean and Billy Idol? Joelle: #FairIsFairBillieJeanSoundtrack

Ep 6: Midnight Madness (1980) - "You've gotta stand up and face life! Go for the GUSTO!" Leon, the Game Master, coerces several groups of college students into participating in "The Great All-Nighter," a clue-based scavenger hunt-style race through Los Angeles. Parry: I personally believe that "Leon" (if that is indeed his real name) now works for the Russians. Joelle: Pabst Blue Ribbon, OHoooOoOoOH!

Ep 5: The Princess Bride (1987) -"I do not think it means what you think it means." A farcical fairy tale about a woman who agrees to marry a prince when she believes her true love has been killed by pirates. Before the wedding can take place, she is kidnapped, but quickly rescued by her long-lost love, now a pirate himself. Before they can live happily ever after, they must escape the prince, who plans to kill them all. Oh, and there is a six-fingered man who just has to die by the end... Parry: How much of Game of Thrones was "borrowed" from The Princess Bride? Joelle: Why do the eels have to look like Jaws?

Ep 4: Electric Dreams (1984) - "Moles, that does not compute." A disorganized architect named Miles manages to bring his computer to life through a combination of data overload and champagne. Although it lacks an understanding of what love is, the computer develops an obsession with the same woman Miles is already pursuing, leading to a love triangle unlike any other. Parry: Can it really be just a coincidence that Electric Dreams and The Terminator were released in the same year? Joelle: Steve Jobs and Bill Gates stole all their best ideas from this movie.

Ep 3: April Fool's Day (1986) - "Nice? It's gotta be better than nice, it's gotta be bloody unforgettable!" A horror version of The Big Chill except it doesn't revolve around a dead person; it is six dead people.  Parry: Tom Wilson...enough said. (And yes, I know that his actual line From Back To The Future is "Make like a tree and get outta here!") Joelle: Go Fuck Yourself, Michael Myers! Programming Note: Although Parry incorrectly states that this episode will be available on April 1st, it was actually released on the 32nd Anniversary of the film premiering in theaters.

Ep 2: Flashdance (1983) - "If you give up your dream, you die." Welder by day, dancer by night; Alexs Owen goes for her dreams and falls in love along the way! Parry: Who cleans up all that water? Joelle: Zanzibar!

Ep 1: Blade Runner - ('82/'07) "More Human Than Human" (Original cinematic release: 1982) An ex-detective or "Blade Runner" returns for one last case when several artificial human Replicants arrive in 2019 Los Angeles searching for answers about the nature of their existence. Parry: Are the walls in Deckard's apartment really hard to clean? Joelle: Who would actually use a bubble hair dryer?