Ride With Lay N Telle

The other day I asked my social media, “What hurts more; love or hate?” I received lots of answers, but now I’d like to give my perspective. I welcomed my friend, Narelle, to also give her views to it. We know love shouldn’t hurt—but it does when it’s lost. We know hate should be ignored—but it hurts to hate someone you once had so much love for. It goes many ways!!! But how can we talk about breakups without talking about that famous saying; “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone”? Does that mean one night stands? We have strong views on that (no judgment)! Tune in!!!! Oh! Follow my friend’s podcast with this link: https://anchor.fm/bwae ! Peace!

Wow! Can’t believe this happened

My friend from high school, Tieya, came to share her story about her life so others would have a better understanding of her. She wants everyone to know that a smile has a story behind it and her story goes deep. After listening please subscribe to her YouTube Channel (link below) and write some encouraging words if you have time. Thank you. Tieya’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq4kDmPZp9VwIYXiUA-Y6NQ

This experience was just—WOW! I can’t even begin to explain what this felt like... but I will try. Lol. This was completely unbelievable! I know everybody said I deserved this but—SO MANY PEOPLE DESERVED THIS. I just can’t believe it was me. This felt so good! I am so thankful. Thank you Althea and Lakeisha!

The show still went on! My friends held it down! I heard nothing but great things! I want to talk about the importance in taking a break from the things you love to prevent yourself from numbing your pain. I know sometimes it’s best to keep that distraction, for your own sake! But I have learned that it can be just as damaging as completely ignoring your problems all together. I ran from it before... I can’t even lie. I learned that is not the way and I am still learning how to heal. Healing starts with addressing the problem for what it is. I’ve had friends help me come to that conclusion and I know I will be at my very best as soon as I let all of this suffering go. Thanks for listening.

I went to a retreat called, “The Pink Party” hosted by @gurltheretreat ! I know my purpose is to speak my pain to you to help us all heal together. I learned at the retreat that I must execute that plan and continue being BRAVE by being VULNERABLE. At first, I thought I was releasing too much, but the truth is... I’ve been silent for too long and I don’t care about how any other soul feels about it!!! “Freedom of speech” isn’t taken advantage of enough! I have the right to say what I want, post what I want and FEEL how I want, UNAPOLOGETICALLY! I decided that I’m the type of hero that will help save herself by not being afraid. I’ve always hated feeling limited to what I talk about because I have too much to say. Now, I know my specialty... I know what I have to do. Ride with me to tour the experience of what it looks like to come from being broken and confused, to learning how to be here for myself. It is an intense process... but I think it’s going to be worth it. #VoicesHavePower

As you know, life is not easy. Most of the time your friends can’t help you and other times you may feel like people don’t care enough. Well, that’s how I’ve felt. But I do care about myself enough to get the healing I deserve after so much hurt and pain in my life. I know I’m not the only one going through this, so I don’t mind sharing my process. I believe one day... my happiness will be genuine and no one’s going to steal that power from me, again. Regardless of how I feel about myself right now, I AM a triumphant woman and I am worthy of existing for myself. Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next year. Peace.

Talk about a “fuck boi”... eh—that’s not very nice, Malay. That’s actually shady af. Nah. Real shyt... there was pros and cons to it. I guess you’ll have to listen to find out. This is the first time people sent in questions for me to answer. So, that means people care about what I have to say! I can’t apologize for this episode being so long... it’s worth it!!!! Peace.

Yerrrro—talk about bad blood. Like, how do things be so great one second and the next it’s like—uuuuh...? I spoke about ambivalent relationships and holding on to people that need you. But I changed my mind. Lol. It don’t always work out that way!!! You need you more than anybody else. I am slowly starting to realize that. I am a gem. I would be mad if I lost me. But what do you think? Should I have been more sensitive? Do you agree with Lorena Thomas in this article here: https://herway.net/love/im-slowly-learning-let-go-people-dont-value?sfns=mo

It’s always good for people to see things from a different perspective. Judge people all you want, as you should, but give them a chance to explain who they are. It’s not that we have to explain, but we choose to give you our reason. Do you know what a renoB is?

Can I be real with you? Can I tell you a secret? I honestly don’t care what anybody thinks about me after this. I am human... I’m a real person. Real people go through real things like depression and some people take the worst route. My routes haven’t always been straight and narrow. I fell a few times... got off track... ran out of gas while I drove down this lane... but I am the only one responsible to pump my gas. People can’t live for me. People can’t take my pain for me and vice versa. I need to be real with my own situations to let someone know that I have been where they are... my life is real and I need to understand self-worth. I can be loved, needed, used and receive all that back from myself. I can breathe. I will breathe. Nobody can stop me from being who I am. I am me. I love me. I will live for me. Peace. Link to poem https://nbsmalay.com/f/a-reason-to-exist

Where do we go from here? When do we put an end to our own pain? When is it okay to lean on somebody else? Is it possible to love and not lose? Don’t pity the single folks... we can be in a relationship if we wanted to. But I refuse to be in a relationship that isn’t worth it. I want someone to think about me all the time and call me. Text me good mornings and goodnights. I don’t want to be kicked down on social media because you don’t understand me. I don’t want to be misused or misunderstood... I want to be loved. I deserve love. I deserve peace.

Do you think a person can love more than one person? I’m not saying you can justify it, I’m just looking at views. If you were to agree with someone’s side to it, how would you feel? What would you say? Can you ever see yourself in a polygamous relationship if you benefitted the most?

Going through a lot, I guess. Venting about it and reading articles helps me. It sucks to be in a mood and feel like you can’t switch it. Who helps you through it? A lover? A friend? A therapist? Everybody needs somebody or something. I have pen and paper— pretty much all I need. But, I’ve got to release. I need my friends! My creatives! We gotta help each other through it. If I ever said I would be there for someone, I’m there till the day I die. No broken promises.

Do we ever talk about the journey through co-parenting?

We came from talking about kids needing father figures in their life to some unspeakable thangs lol. No... you really have to listen in. It’s always fun talking with Eb and Nugget!

Eh—Don’t you just hate talking about this? Losing people in your life. Like... for what? Why does it have to be that way? But people come and go... all the time... it’s life. We’re human! Our job is to just BE THERE, I guess.

Sometimes we don’t know how to ask for help. Sometimes we want to keep our business to ourselves. Most times we’re sure people won’t understand. Other times we don’t give people a chance to listen. We are what we eat. We are what we tell ourselves we are. If you believe you’re a failure... you ARE. If you believe you’re a winner... you ARE.

We are going to have so much fun tonight! We are going to enjoy so much talent tonight! And we are going to create so much peace tonight! Make sure you come out and don’t miss the vibes!

Fun with Friends