The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

It's 2020, and yet, so many of us have a confusing, complicated and even shameful relationship with sex that causes us to be and do things that don't reflect who we really are or what we really want. In what will be the first of several episodes over the coming weeks and months about sex, Natalie talks about why we need to evolve our relationship with sex.   Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

While it isn't a new issue, disappointment about online interactions not blossoming into something bigger and better in real life seems to have been heightened by the pandemic, thanks to it limiting our social interactions. Natalie talks about the importance of managing our imagination and expectations so that we don't end up falling for a hologram or setting ourselves up for a fall.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

To celebrate the 200th episode of the podcast (yay!), Natalie sits down for a chat with her very first guest (and the one who came up with the idea for the show!), her husband, Em. Using questions from listeners, they give a little insight into their relationship, including how they met, how they knew they were each other's 'one', and overcoming conflict.  **Please note**: This episode was recorded differently to other episodes due to needing to record another person. Thanks to the t'internet, there's a few times where the sound dips, but it's otherwise good! Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie talks about why no isn't a dirty word and how it leads to saying yes to more of the people, things and opportunities that reflect who you really are.  How To Say No: The Scripts Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

We all have an idealised version of ourselves, an image that reflects perfection or that's certainly 'better' than reality. Natalie talks about how being disconnected from and not appreciating our actual real self in the pursuit of the idealised version can lead to problems and pain.  The Perfectionism Sessions Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Ignoring or dismissing warning signs about a person or situation means that we ignore and dismiss ourselves. Natalie explains how categorising 'red flags' as code amber and red alerts help us to get grounded and acknowledge whether we're going against ourselves, ignoring incompatibility, or are in danger.    Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Sometimes we take things so personally that it derails us. We feel stuck in shame, rejection, rumination and resentment, and we might behave in ways that don't reflect who we are in the main. Natalie talks about why this happens and how to break the habit.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Sometimes, how we feel on the inside doesn't match what we're doing on the outside. We act what we think is 'nice' as a way to suppress and repress ourselves. In other instances, we encounter someone who seems 'nice' but they cross our boundaries or we feel what we think is 'irrationally' annoyed, resentful or frustrated with them and can't put our finger on why. Natalie talks about why 'nice' can sometimes be a means of covering up anger and control.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage.  **Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th September.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Am I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have?  Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compassion, congruency, clarity, ownership and grace--to help us see the wood for the trees and build our confidence with communicating who we are through healthier boundaries.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feeling bad about ourselves and avoiding healthy boundaries and self-care leads to resentment and unhealthy relationships. Natalie talks about what's really going on with our perpetual guilt.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Defining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about why defining the relationship conversations don't have to be so awkward and scary.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation to become. Natalie delves into why we languish on the notion that we scared something or someone away.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks down why we mistake 'chemistry' for emotional disturbance and shares tips for breaking the habit to forge healthier relationships.    Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

How do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, consistency, intimacy and progression. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

When promising chats and dates don't lead to the relationship we want and anticipated, we can feel stuck in a frustrating dating cycle. But what if what's causing the lather, rinse, repeat is a couple of particular blind spots that keep setting us up for disappointment?  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

There was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares examples and how to recognise it, plus she explains why we mustn't normalise gaslighting and let it go unchecked.  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

Natalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more?  Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership

When Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometimes secret) relationship mixed with a complicated friendship. Natalie talks about some of the sources of hurt and misunderstanding in casual relationships and what we can learn from our participation.    Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership