The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

When Natalie had to train for the 2018 London Marathon in less than four months, it didn't take long before she realised that she was employing lessons she'd learned from doing No Contact and her initial struggle to create healthy boundaries. If you battle an inner critic that encourages you to do stuff only to switch things up and scare the bejaysus out of you about those same choices, or you wrestle with perfectionism or backtrack on changes you've decided to make because of the discomfort you experience, this episode is for you.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

How good do you feel about yourself and a relationship if it feels like you had to campaign or even hound your partner into committing? Yeah... exactly. Natalie talks about commitment-resistance and why it's time to stop trying to drag commitment out of people.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Do you know the difference between empathy and overempathy? Well, if you feel as if you've been burned by rescuing or helping, or you've stayed in situations long past their sell-by-date, it's time to discover the difference.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Have someone's lies baffled you because you thought that it was so ridiculous or unnecessary or that it was undeserved given how much effort you've put in? Has discovering a white lie caused you to question your future with someone because of how honest you believe you to be? Do you find it really triggering to be lied to, or to try to be honest with others? In this week's episode, Natalie delves into the topic of lies, including what motivates us to lie and why we sometimes need to check ourselves when we're insisting that we "never, ever lie". Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Do you know where you learned your break-up habits? It's safe to say that it wasn't on the curriculum at school. Old memories and associations, especially ones we may have long forgotten, along with underlying concerns about avoiding things we fear or dislike, contribute to how we respond to being broken up with or us ending a relationship.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

For many of us, the idea of willfully crossing somebody's boundaries sends a shiver through us. In fact, we'll often cross our own boundaries to accommodate those of others! But some people just don't give a fiddle about other people's boundaries, something we'll often blame ourselves for. Natalie explains the reasons behind their boundary aversion.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

A key factor in people feeling stuck in a painful situation or stuck obsessing about what went down is an extended period prior to the events of being starved of, for example, attention, affection, connection or intimacy. In this episode, Natalie explains The Lean Period and how being activated and then eventually hurt and disappointed leads to the loop of entitlement that creates stuckness.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Many of us find it difficult to let go of past situations whether it's about our actions or those of others. It's not that we don't want to per se, but our confusing relationship with forgiveness, including believing that it presses the reset button, actually gets in the way of us moving forward. Natalie talks about what letting go truly means.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Natalie talks about blind spots and why we’ve got to stop clinging to assumptions about what a relationship-worthy person looks like (hint: it’s more than “charming, good-looking, smart”) or them claiming that they’re in therapy, meditators or working in a particular profession. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Ever felt as if you did wrong by asserting a boundary because the other party didn't respond positively or you didn't get what you wanted? Well, having healthy boundaries isn't the problem, and in this episode, Natalie explains what's really going on in this situation.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

It's been two years since Natalie's father passed away. In this week's episode, she talks about how grief, something that we go through when we experience any form of loss, not just bereavement, grows you... whether you want it to or not.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

So many people who have a frustrating pattern are unaware that they’re driven by negative and contradictory associations with love, relationships, success and being more of who they really are. In this episode, Natalie talks about why fear of sacrifice, loss and being trapped are so prevalent in our experiences.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Did you know that three days before Natalie met Em, she broke it off with a guy that she’d been dating for three weeks? She would have finished it sooner had she not doubted herself and listened to well-meaning friends who told her that she was being “hasty” and “picky”. In this episode, Natalie talks about why loved ones give bad advice and why we don’t have to go along with it to spare their feelings.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

A challenge that often presents itself while dating is the struggle to stay hopeful and grounded while pursuing our need or desire for a relationship. Natalie talks about the key sources of anxiety and why, ultimately, 'efforting' isn't going to control (or change) the time frame or what prospective partners do so we might as well get on with the business of being us and living. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Does someone really need to do the equivalent of giving us a one-star review by going out of their way to make us aware of their dislike of us? Do we need to let our ex know that we’re “over” them? Why did they put themselves on Tinder right after they made plans to move or be away for some time? What’s the craic with people doing us wrong and then saying “It hurts me more than (or as much as) it hurts you”? And why are we saying that it’s wrong that the relationship with the person who didn’t treat us very well has ended? These are just some of the things that make Natalie (and others) go hmmm.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Are you feeling typecast by your experiences and pattern? A role is a job or function that we take on within our interpersonal relationships in order to ‘be good’ and ‘help out’… even if what we’re doing is harmful instead of helpful. In this episode, Natalie breaks down why we play particular roles including sharing 60+ examples and why roles, ultimately, sabotage intimacy as well as our potential and purpose.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

When you go on dates or are in a relationship, who is it that shows up? Is it you, the whole you and nothing but you? Or, is it your representative, the persona you send out that’s a glossier or more watered-down version of you that you think does the best job of selling you as future partner or spouse material? Natalie talks about the perils of letting your 'dating and relationship self' overshadow the real you.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

What do you do when you feel as if you’ve failed at something? Shame you? Shrink into yourself and isolate? Pick you apart in an attempt to figure out what’s wrong with you? Turn your failure into a secret that you need to cart around in your emotional baggage? Natalie shares why she won't be doing any of these things and uses a recent experience and its parallels with dating and relationships to reframe disappointment, rejection and loss.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Natalie explores our reluctance to so much as tidy our emotional baggage and shares a quick exercise that highlights where we can make space for more of the things we want to be, do and have.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership

Is it something you said? Is it something you did? Is it because you weren't patient/perfect/sexy/whatever enough? Nope! They're unavailable. In this week's episode, Natalie delves into the ten key signs that someone is emotionally unavailable including blowing hot and cold, excuses about timing, actions and words not matching, and it being on their terms.  Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership