The Joy Junkie Show

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST!   Ever find yourself dragging your feet on something you know you must get done, but you just keep putting it off and putting it off? Um. Yeah. Me too. And so does everyone else. So what is this really about? Often it’s stuff we know will help us be more productive, change our quality of life, or make us healthier but we still put it off as long as we possibly can. Well, there actually may be some concrete reasons WHY you’re doing the constant “feet drag” and understanding these reasons may just help you get into action sooner. You know… Instead of stressing the fuck out at the 11th hour. #thestruggleisreal This pod explores: The two most common types of fear that holds us back from accomplishing our "to-do lists" Why your chosen “method” of accomplishing your task may be total self-sabotage [Hint: You can simply change the method] How to figure out if you really even want this “thing” in the first place (As in… does this really need to be on you to-do list to begin with?) How pe

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST!   Tell me if this sounds familiar: You get home and you’re like, “Omg, WTF am I going to make for dinner?” or you are about to leave the house and you’re like, “Did anyone take the dog out? Or feed him?” Or maybe everywhere you turn you just see stack after stack of shit you need to get to or pile after pile that you were sure someone else would have taken care of by now. If you’re in the boat of constant stress and perpetual overwhelm, there is actually a pretty simple solution! In one word - SYSTEMS. Getting everything in your household (or life, for that matter) dialed in to a specific system. How amazing would it be if everyone in your household knew exactly who’s turn it was to walk the dog, do the laundry, or load the dishwasher? Better yet, what if you had you the buy-in of your kids? Or spouse? Or roommate? And how thrilling would it be if they were all actually excited to do it? Seem like a pipe dream? It’s not, my friend. In this episode, I share a 7-step “system” to imp

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST!   You’ve made a mess. And you need to clean it up. But, GOD DAMN it’s so uncomfortable to apologize to someone when you’ve fucked up. What do you usually do instead? Maybe sweep it under the rug? Maybe try various acts of kindness so they magically get the hint that you’re sorry? Totally ghost them because it’s just tooooo embarrassing and shameful to face? I get it. It is so uncomfortable and truly vulnerable to own up to your mistakes and actually ask for forgiveness from someone you have wronged. But, never fear, I’ve gottchu covered. In this episode, I share a 6 step process to delivering an effective and genuine apology. It may not be easy, but at least you can lay your head down at night knowing that you did your part. This pod explores: The importance of asking permission to apologize (Wait, what? Yes, it’s a thing) The number one place you may get tripped up during an apology and how to avoid it How to shift from focusing on WHAT happened to how the other person FEELS Wha

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST!   Ever find yourself trying to add yet another thing to your already-packed schedule and that little voice in your head screams, "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!" Or how 'bout this one: You just can't bring yourself to tell someone "No", so you pack on an additional obligation that totally sends you over the edge into Full. Blown. Overwhelm. Total straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back style. And, then you proceed to unleash that overwhelm on your hubs, or kids, or some poor, unassuming bystander. Listen, we all struggle with allocating our time wisely, and even the most structured peeps can fall into the trap of feeling as though you never have enough time and become super stressed by your overwhelming... um, overwhelm. But all is certainly not lost. And, believe it or not, there are probably a decent amount of things you can easily shift to bring you loads more time (well, maybe more like a handful) and shit-ton less overwhelm. This pod explores: How saying "No" to bullshit obligation

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST!   Shit has officially hit the fan. You just got laid off… or fired. You just went through a break-up. You lost someone super close to you. You got passed up for the promotion you thought you nailed. You just found out you have a condition that will require a scary-ass surgery. Your kid just got in legal trouble. We’ve all been there. Up against seemingly insurmountable odds. Feeling like the only perspective is one of “well, my life fucking sucks”. Not a silver lining in sight. So, what is one to do when up against such challenges? So glad you asked. In this episode, I cover off six, specific strategies you can employ to flip that frown upside down. (That was super lame, I know.) Believe it or not, all is not lost and there are actual steps you can take to get through this rough patch like a boss. You know… instead of downing a bottle of wine all by yourself on a Tuesday morning at 9am. This pod explores: How to change your perspective around your circumstance even when it feels

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST! Many years ago, I had a discussion with my coach which started out with me bitching and complaining about how unhappy I had been in my life lately. After working through a handful of things, I became SUPER clear that my day in and day out life wasn't reflective of the things I knew brought me joy and happiness. I wasn't taking care of my health, wasn't meditating, wasn't connecting with like-minded spirits, wasn't involved in creative projects... so NO WONDER I had hit a rough patch! Was it that I didn't know what would help me feel better? Nope. That was just the prob. I totally knew what lit me up, I was just not doing any of those things. I was involved in full-on self-sabotage and I had NO idea I was even doing it! Perhaps you can relate? Maybe you want to embark on a new career, but instead of researching, you zone out on some rando's vacation pics on Facebook. Or maybe you want to get healthier, but you continue to hang out with people who make it #supes challenging to go fo

GET ON THE RETREAT VIP LIST wonder why having difficult conversations causes soooo much anxiety, often leaving you tongue-tied, frustrated with how you're getting your point across, and down-right bummed-the-fuck-out? It can be super stressful to approach a sticky topic with someone in your life, especially if you are anticipating a less than enthusiastic response. Believe it or not, there are actually a handful of things you can totally shift in your approach in order to get your message across in a MUCH more effective way. You know, without throwing your husband's shoes at him. This episode targets 6 steps you can easily employ to feel much more powerful when you tell your mother-in-law to stop trying to parent your kids. Or whatever other challenging topic you need to address. You'll learn the most effective way to communicate your needs (and in turn get what you want) without feeling like a big ol' asshole. This pod explores: What you need to do BEFORE you have a tough conversation in order to set yourse

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~> If it’s not your kids who need something from you, then it’s your boss. If it’s not your boss, then it’s your partner. If it’s not your partner, it’s your neighbor… or your sister or bestie or whoever else. And here you are in a cycle of being a yes-man/woman, constantly putting everyone in front of yourself and doing, doing, doing for everyone else, leaving you empty AF. Not to mention exhausted. And HELLO, Irritability! If you’ve found yourself in this cycle, let me just say that you are soooo not alone. Our society is constantly telling us that we need to do and be everything for everyone and that faulty cycle is damn-near always a recipe for burnout, exhaustion, and overall unhappiness. But, help is on the way. In this episode, I cover off six specific tactics you can use to start making yourself important again. And, don’t worry, you’re not going to all of a sudden “let everyone down” and be wracked with guilt. Have a listen and learn simple steps you can take TODAY to start making yo

Grab your seat in Relationship Rx!   Sometimes communicating with your partner can feel like you’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with your feet… and with your eyes closed. And even though you feel like you are using all of the words and explaining yourself over and over and over, it seems like you are even farther away from solving this intricate puzzle. And, now somehow your partner is pissed at YOU. Wait, what? How did we get here? This cycle is unbelievably common because, um, where exactly are we supposed to learn how to communicate effectively? School? Mom and Dad? Hell, no. Media? Uh, nope. Your last relationship? Probably not. So, cut yourself some slack and be compassionate. The great news is that EFFECTIVELY communicating with your partner isn’t that complicated and you can make huge changes in your relationship dynamic just from making a few subtle shifts. If you tuned in last week, you heard me sound off on some of the most common ways we try to get through to our partner which often ends in noth

Grab your seat in Relationship Rx!   When you are at odds with your partner, it’s highly likely that the two of you go over and over the exact same topic and get a shit-ton of NOWHERE. Perhaps you are discussing if the kids should go to public or private school or how much is reasonable to spend on new fencing for the yard or who’s responsible for taking the dog to the vet. Each of you have a strong opinion, yet it seems like you both aren’t making any headway with the other person. Why does this happen? Like, over and over. I’ll tell you why: Because most of the time, we’re more concerned with being “right” than we are concerned about really, truly understanding our partner. But, they’re being so unreasonable! Um, yeah. So are you. This episode is the first of a two part series which addresses communicating effectively with your partner. In this episode, we cover off the most common (and wildly unsuccessful) communication tactics that many couples employ to get their points across. This lesson is all about e

FIND OUT YOUR COMMUNICATION LEVEL. TAKE THE QUIZ!   Tell me if I’m onto something here… You’d love to foster deeper connection and intimacy with your partner but you have zero idea where to start. And, let me guess... he/she isn’t making things any easier on you, amiright? You often find yourself thinking, “Well, why should I put any effort in? He never does.” Or, “I know how she’s going to respond, so I’d rather not even address it.” Or maybe “I can’t imagine anything changing, so why even bother?”   Well, I’ll tell you why you should bother. While you’re sitting around waiting for intimacy and connection to magically appear in your relationship, you are stuck in a vicious cycle of tit-for-tat and you still come up empty, frustrated, and lack the connection you are craving from your partner. Or perhaps you’re craving the connection that used to be there. Before the job. Before the kids. Before the in-law drama.   Well, here’s the great news: All is not lost. You can totally begin to foster a deeper connectio

GET ON THE NEW RELATIONSHIP COURSE VIP LIST! Ever think, "Jesus! How can my partner NOT know how much that means to me?!" or perhaps while the two of you are arguing you think, "How on earth does that shit makes sense? Clearly, I’m right about this." Or how about wanting to share how you really feel about her family, but you think, "There's no way I could tell her that... it would destroy her!" If any of these thoughts rush in and out of your mind, you are totally normal. And... without knowing it you may be inadvertently buying into lies you tell yourself about your relationship… well, the lies much of our society tells us about relationships, amiright!? Before you start beating yourself up... There's a strong chance you have NO idea that you've been lying to yourself or rather, totally listening to your inner shit-talker. In this week's episode, I discuss 5 major relationship myths that often keep us locked into blame and inaction in our relationships and how it arrests us from having the intimacy we truly

NEW RELATIONSHIP COURSE VIP LIST! We’ve all heard the popular phrase and song lyric, “All you need is love”, but how factual is this statement really? Not very. A romantic idea? For sure. But factual? I find that many people falsely assume that if they are in love with someone, then everything else should come really easily. Um… No. In this episode, I dig into why being soul-mates or being madly in love with each other doesn’t always equal relationship success. Along with input from Mr. Smith, I delve into why emotions of “love” can lock us into blindness and cause relationship turmoil. So what DO you need to keep a relationship thriving, happy, and healthy? I’m so very glad you asked, Buttercup. In this episode, I share five necessary components, other than love, that ensure success in intimate partnerships. Plus, these five components are all about shifts in focus, not massive time investments, so you pretty much have no excuse NOT to make your relationship totally badass. #yourewelcome This pod explores:

FREE JOURNALING PAGES WITH THIS EPISODE! Ever find yourself thinking, “If my husband would just get his shit together, this relationship would be fine”? Or maybe you find yourself keeping score? Like, if he isn’t initiating sex, why should I? Or, if he can’t pick up his shit, why should I? And, then maybe you do passive-aggressive moves like let dishes pile up for 3 weeks or some other shit to “prove a point”… which OF COURSE leads to a huge fight where you both blame each other. Hmmm. How did I know? Because you are sooooo not alone. You wanna know why? Because no one ever taught you how to communicate in a healthy way. We learn most of our relationship habits from trial and error, our parental examples, or media… all of which suck. Well… your parents may not suck, but you get my point. We rarely have sound instruction on how to express our needs, how to communicate with one another, and how to resolve conflict. If you find yourself struggling in any of these areas, this episode will give you an arsenal of t

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~> If you took a look around you… to all of your close relationships, would they all be reciprocal? Do you have people in your world who constantly deposit into the "account" of your life or are they perpetually withdrawing? Do you ever feel like you give, and give, and give, and get nothing in return? This episode is all about looking at your relationships through a different lens… by looking at who is and who is not contributing to your life. Have a listen and learn exactly how to identify the "takers" in your life, where we usually get tripped up, and what to do about it. This pod explores: Perhaps the best metaphor EV-AH to analyze your relationships Where we usually get tripped up in wanting the best from people in our lives How to take an inventory of the people in your life and decide where you need to scale down What "charity" has to do with the "takers" in your life THE JOY JUNKIE AFTER HOURS CLUB! COMPLETELY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP. TONS OF SUPPORT YOU CRAVE. JOIN THE CLUB. You in o

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~> Tell me if this sounds familiar: Your partner/bestie/boss/mom says something snarky and you immediately make it all your fault and assume that you MUST have done something horribly wrong. And then, without asking for any type of clarity, you just stew on it, ruminating, and make up all sorts of stories about what that other person is thinking and how you must clearly be a total asshat. The tendency to self-blame around every corner is actually far more common than you may think. Even though you are perpetually making it “all about you” (even if it’s in your own mind), doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a narcissist or purposely trying to take the blame for everything. In this week’s episode, I discuss a multitude of reasons your knee-jerk reaction may be to self-blame (aka I must have done something wrong!!), four steps to dealing with this habit, and how to let go of some of this shit that is soooo not your responsibility. This pod explores: Why you tend to think that it’s all your fa

FREE JOURNALING PAGES WITH THIS EPISODE! In our society that craves INSTANT gratification for damn-near everything, no wonder we get tripped up on the the continual chase for the next best thing. The next shiny object. Surely, *this new thing* will make me happy. But, wait… now I’m bored with *that thing*, but Ooooooo, what about *this new thing over here*... and then rinse, repeat. Jumping from shiny object to shiny object. Not following through with anything and on a hamster wheel of happiness chasing. But, here’s the thing… we usually do this racket without even realizing it. We do it subconsciously. We’re usually just trying to feel better, avoid something uncomfortable, and forget our shitty situation already. But, if you keep up this chase, you never really accomplish anything of merit and your happiness is inevitably always postponed. In this week’s show, I look at the multitude of ways this not-so-medical “syndrome” shows up in your world, how to stop yourself from making hasty, rash choices, and wher

FREE JOURNALING PAGES WITH THIS EPISODE! Have you ever found yourself at your wits end with your partner and you think something to the effect of, “Well, if he would just _________, we’d be just fine!” Or “I totally wouldn’t get all worked up if she would just ________.” It’s totally normal [and much easier] for us to blame our partner and conveniently NOT look at our role in the matter. Here’s the rub with all things relationships: We aren’t ever really taught how to communicate with our significant others. We learn how to operate from our parents, from experimenting in our intimate partnerships, or from what the media tells us. So, OF COURSE you want to bang your head against the wall. No one told you how to actually get through to that other person. In this show, I discuss 10 specific questions to ask yourself to help you better navigate the communication in your relationship. PLUS, this episode comes with freebie Journaling Worksheets so you can get it all out on paper, make a plan for your partnership, a

GRAB YOUR FREE eWORKBOOK: STAND UP FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING A DICK JOIN US IN THE FREE AFTER HOURS CLUB ON FACEBOOK! Thank you so much for your continued support and I soooo appreciate your understanding! I'll be back in your feed in a week's time! Love you!

JOIN THE AFTER HOURS CLUB! Every so often, I do a special episode of the podcast that focuses on specific questions submitted by the PODiance. On this week’s episode, I tackle three listener submissions that you may find helpful. One listener was unclear on knowing the difference between taking some down for herself and when she was slipping into isolating behavior. I mean… she does have 2 kids, a hubs, and a full-time job to worry about, so is she just trying to chill-the-F-out at the end of the day or is she running from her probs? Ever wonder if your “relaxation behaviors” are actually good for you? Yep. Have a listen, my friend. Another listener wanted to figure out why she couldn’t just “get over it” or “let it go” after she got into an argument/discussion with her partner. Why did she feel so unresolved? Why did she still have pent-up emotion about the whole thing? If you’ve ever felt like you resolved something with your spouse but somehow you just don’t feel resolved, you’ll have to have a listen. Fi