The Joy Junkie Show

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~> I am taking a few weeks off from the pod to tend to my own healing and self-care following some recent health issues. While I take a short break, my behind the scenes podcast ninja, Darlene, will be sharing some of the After Hours Community’s favorite and most impactful podcast episodes. Below is the original description for this week’s Community Favorite on the topic of money. Unless you grew up with incredible lessons on money management, how to avoid debt, how to budget appropriately, and how to save like a mutha, it’s likely you’ve had your share of money woes. Considering there isn’t really any financial education built into academia, most of us learn how to engage with money through trial and error, tough lessons learned, and whatever example we see modeled by our parents or family of origin. Then, perhaps you find yourself desperately trying to “adult” while wading through endless debt, having no idea what a budget would even look like, and constantly feeling like it’s just “never e

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~> I am taking a few weeks off from the pod to tend to my own healing and self-care following some recent health issues. While I take a short break, my behind the scenes podcast ninja, Darlene, will be sharing some of the After Hours Community’s favorite and most impactful podcast episodes. Below is the original description for this week’s Community Favorite on the topic of money. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar: You constantly use the words “I can’t afford it” You often think things would be perfect just as soon as you had more money You find yourself super jealous of peeps with money and think they must have done something slimy or shady to gain their wealth Whenever you want something, you immediately think “I don’t have enough money for that”, and often shut down the possibility before it even starts You are constantly trying to stay on top of your finances, but truth be told, you have no budget, no idea what you’re spending, and feel like you never, ever have enough   If any of

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~>   I am taking a few weeks off from the pod to tend to my own healing and self-care following some recent health issues. While I take a short break, my behind the scenes podcast ninja, Darlene, will be sharing some of the After Hours Community’s favorite and most impactful podcast episodes. Below is the original description for this week’s Community Favorite on the topic of boundaries. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have undoubtedly heard the notion of “setting boundaries”, but have you ever wondered exactly what that means? Or maybe you drummed up the nerve to tell someone (like, your mom, boss, or bestie) how you really felt about something only to be blatantly ignored? (Or worse… not even taken seriously.) How do you actually go about establishing boundaries that are clear, respected, and adhered to? It’s hard enough to broach a challenging topic with someone, let alone follow through on your boundary. Here’s the deal… if you’ve been constantly bitchin’ and moanin’ about som

JOIN AFTER HOURS ~>   Tell me if this sounds familiar. You’re mom/bestie/sister/co-worker starts complaining about something you used to totally struggle with and your first thought is, “OMG! I know the solution! Let me just tell her what she should do…” Don’t get me wrong. You’re not trying to be a boss-pants and all condescending, you just genuinely know of something that may help. Afterall, it helped you, so surely they want to hear about it! So why would your sage advice fall on deaf ears? I’ll tell you why. (Of course, I will.) Often when you jump into the world of personal development, you start to make some seriously awesome strides and your first instinct is to share that with your closest circle. Yet, sometimes they aren’t so ready to hear you. So, what are you supposed to do… just let them suffer!? If you’ve found yourself wanting to share your newfound love of personal growth with someone not-so-ready to listen, this episode is a MUST LISTEN. I sound off on four, specific ways you can share persona

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   This week's episode comes to you courtesy of a listener submission asking how to cultivate trust in relationships when one has created a reality of building up walls and allowing very few people "in". Sound familiar? Learning to trust? Sure. I'll get right on that. Maybe you can relate. Maybe people say nice things to you and you always question their motives. Maybe you have a tendency to distrust your partner because your ex was an asshole. Maybe you have a hard time making new friends because deep down you're worried about being judged or abandoned like your parents did to you in your youth. If any of that sounds eerily familiar, babe, you are certainly in good company. This week, I look at 6, specific [baby] steps you can take in order to alter your relationship to trust without, you know, feeling super unsafe and freaking-the-fuck-out. Believe it or not, you may actually have a ton of evidence around you that people can be trusted... you just haven't been looking

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   You walk into work, totally optimistic about your day, and you give your co-worker a casual ‘How-ya-doin’-today?’ She responds with her usual quip about how she’s ‘alright-I-guess’ but immediately launches into complaining about her neighbor/workload/recent ailment. Or maybe it’s every time you give your sister a ring on the phone. You ask how she’s doing. She starts off with all the problems… all the things that are shitty… or all the reason’s she’s a total victim. And you’re over here like, “Why is everyone so damn negative!?” It can sometimes feel like it will take a sheer act of god to stay positive around negative people. It tends to be a much more difficult endeavor to get others to join your positivity movement than to simply indulge and comply with their complaints, ho-humery, or victim mentality. So, what’s a personal development junkie to do when around such negativity? Just cut those people out entirely? But, what if they’re co-workers? I can’t just quit my

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   It’s round two of ‘Quiz Time’ on the podcast! As you know, I love to talk about all things communication… How to speak up for yourself with that *one* family member, how to actually say ‘no’ to shit that isn’t serving you, and how to have tough conversations like a total badass. Last week, I thought it would be fun to quiz Mr. Smith on some of these communication principles. It turned out that I had so many scenarios that I had to make it a two-part series! This week, you can further your communication acumen as we discuss statements that involve addressing sticky topics with your partner, how to best approach a tough convo, and what a solid boundary actually sounds like. Play along as I read six statements and see how you fare! #youvegotthis This pod explores: The crucial element many people neglect when trying to establish a boundary How your self-worth is affected by your ability to speak up for yourself or not The most effective way to address your partner when t

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   It's quiz time on the podcast! Ok, so a bit of context: As you are likely well aware, I talk about all things communication a lot. Like, alot-alot. How to speak up for yourself effectively with your fam, friends, spouse, coworkers… How to establish boundaries… How to say “No” without being riddled with guilt. You know the drill. Well, I thought it would be fun to give Mr. Smith a little True/False quiz on the show to see if I’ve been clear with my not-so-humble message. Play along as I read six statements related to communication and test out your communication savvy! And, don’t miss next week when I’ll school Mr. Smith on Communication Quiz, Volume 2! #HeSaysHesTheVoiceOfThePeopleSo... This pod explores: The most important skill (above all else) you MUST master for effective communication (hint: most people actually ignore it altogether) When too much time has passed to circle back and apologize to someone you’ve wronged Exactly what to say if someone says something

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   You don’t want to put anyone out. You don’t want to be a burden. You’re afraid you’d be asking too much. So you stay quiet. You muscle through. You do everything on your own. Which usually means a constant state of stress, overwhelm, and crankiness is your daily reality. I mean… That’s what a strong person does, right? Just handles it all on their own? Um, no. A strong person is brave. Courageous. And bravery is asking for help when you mutha-fuckin need it. But, that’s most certainly not what we’ve been taught all our lives, amiright!? We’re taught to not “rock the boat” or “put anyone out” so god-forbid you actually ASK for help moving your shit into storage or ASK for help from your bestie who has already offered to watch your kids so you can finally have a date with your love. In this week’s show, I discuss 4 reasons why you absolutely MUST start asking for and accepting help from others. So, if you think you’ve got all this shit covered on your own, guess again.

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   Ever find yourself hoping and praying that something will work out in your favor? Maybe you're hoping a family function will go well, you get that job you've interviewed for, or perhaps you are hoping *that certain someone* you love will finally get clean and sober. And, although we've been taught that Hope is quite the virtue, I would argue that sometimes Hope destroys. (Yes, I actually just said that.) I think it's far less common to talk about the negative consequences of a life consumed in Hope. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally think Hope has it's place and can provide immense comfort, but I think it's worth examining when we use Hope as a crutch. As an excuse. As denial. Hoping that things work out but NOT making any solid plans of action. Hoping that your spouse will magically be what you need after expressing your needs over and over again and continually being let down... but, of course, hanging on to hope that he'll change. And let's not forget that when yo

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   Tell me if this sounds familiar: You have a conversation with someone and you weren't sure about how you came across to the other person, so you spend hours (or days) replaying the convo in your head, convincing yourself that they must totally think you're an asshole or an idiot, or whatever, and before you know it, you've totally fabricated an entire scenario that doesn't even exist and you're convinced that person hates you and you might as well move out of the country. Whew! So, yeah, I've gone down that rabbit hole a number of times. It can be so easy to allow our ambitious and creative minds completely run away and jump to massive conclusions that are often extremely unfounded and also highly unlikely. We do the same thing with how we speak to ourselves too. We think "If that guy doesn't want to see me again, I must be a total loser who is damaged and unlovable." Wait. What!? Yeah, totally jump to a ridiculous conclusion. In this episode, I examine how we do this

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   You put your name in for a promotion but now your mind is spinning… Is this the best choice for me? What does my gut tell me? Is my inner critic just freaking out and telling me I’m not smart enough for the job? Or maybe you’ve been feeling like a friend of yours is taking advantage of you. You’ve been thinking, Am I just being a big baby? Or is my intuition trying to tell me to establish a boundary with her? Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’ve found yourself at a similar decision point as listed above, trying to make the most empowered choice for yourself, and for the life of you, you can’t tell if your intuition is talking to you or if your inner critic is just freaking out at the onset of change. Because, I mean, FEAR is comin’ in strong in both situations. So, is it my inner critic or intuition!!? Ahhhhh!! This is perhaps one of the most challenging pieces of the inner work that goes into fostering a strong, empowered relationship with Self. Help is on the way

RETREAT WITH ME IN MEXICO. 2 SPOTS LEFT!   You’re scrollin’ through Insta or Facebook and you see all these lovely inspirational memes about self-care and making yourself important and you’re like, “Yeah, lemme just book a facial. That should help me feel less stress from my shit job.” If you’ve been cynical about self-care, honey, I feel you. Self-care’s online reputation would have you believing that taking care of yourself is all about mani/pedi’s, bubble baths, and massages. While these things definitely fall in the self-care category, there are actually WAY more ways to take care of yourself… most likely in ways you haven’t even thought of. In this week’s pod, I share four major categories of your life that are often overlooked when it comes to truly taking care of yourself. If you’ve been feeling like you just don’t have the time for a spa day, but you KNOW something’s gotta change or you’re going to lose your shit, this episode is a MUST-LISTEN. This pod explores: What-the-hell boundaries have to do w

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   Recently, a few listeners wrote in to the show sharing some current relationship struggles they had been up against. Perhaps you can relate to one of these scenarios. One listener had been struggling with communication in her relationship because her partner looooooves to talk but she absolutely does not and it’s #def causing some serious relationship-ending probs. Another listener is currently struggling to let go of her partner’s romantic past and yet another is finding challenges working on her relationship because her partner doesn’t think anything is wrong and everything is her fault… how fun, right? If you’ve battled communication issues or jealousy issues inside your romantic relationship, you are soooo not alone. Have a listen to this episode where I talk about ‘de-coding’ your partner’s communication (so you can actually get somewhere instead of fighting all the damn time) and what-the-hell you do with a partner who doesn’t think they need to work on anything

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   You spent years in therapy dealing with your “family of origin” issues, so #WTF does dad still trigger you like crazy? You learned how to deal with your inner critic, so why do you still beat yourself up time and again? You know how to speak up for yourself, but you let your MIL run all over you yesterday. So what gives? Well, my friend, this lovely little personal development journey you’ve got here… NEVER ENDS. And, that doesn’t mean that your life doesn’t get a shit-ton better and have you all empowered, but it DOES mean that you will likely contend with hardship and triggers for the rest of your life… PD just helps you engage with those triggers and hardships in a more empowered way. If you’ve ever judged your own personal growth journey and said things like, “I thought I already worked through this shit!” then this episode is a must-listen. I address 5 concepts that can help you alter your perspective around your own growth which will leave you #relieved and exci

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   Ever feel like if you tell someone you aren’t available to help them/do something for them, then you are totally letting them down? (And subsequently find yourself riddled with guilt?) Ever feel like you are soooo busy doing everything for everyone else that you have little, if any, time for yourself? Or have you ever felt that if you actually say NO to someone and choose to put yourself first, that you’d be a “total asshole”? If those thoughts have run through your mind, congrats… you’re totally normal. But, I’m guessing that way of operating isn’t really leaving you super fulfilled, happy, and full of confidence and a sense of self-worth, amiright? [In my oh-so-humble opinion] we’ve been inundated with faulty messaging about what is “polite”, what is “being rude”, and what is “letting others down”. I believe the only way we can be super impactful with those we love, is to actually take care of ourselves… first. Seriously. Fucking FIRST. If you struggle in this categ

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST!   So, you have this goal. This thing you desperately want to accomplish. Maybe it’s a Master’s Degree. Or maybe it’s booking a luxe vaca to Italy. Maybe it’s cleaning out your entire garage. Maybe losing that pesky 20lbs. so your knees didn’t hurt so damn much. And, yet, despite how much you really want this goal to be realized, you sometimes find yourself lacking motivation. You look at that paper you have to turn in for your latest course or you look at your running shoes begging to be put on for that jog your promised you’d run and you just can’t seem to muster the strength to get into action. So, what’s the secret sauce that gets all those crazy-motivated peeps you see on Insta to actually accomplish all their dreams and goals? So glad you asked, Babycakes. In this week’s show, I discuss 6 key elements that will help you stay in alignment with what you really want to accomplish and actually KEEP YOU IN ACTION. Get ready to switch up your mindset, change some of your

GET ON THE DEEP, DOWN + DIRTY VIP LIST! So, your partner gives you a little nudge that *maybe* you could do something a bit differently and you Totally. Fly. Off. The. Handle. Or maybe your bestie gently suggests that you may want to try to actually DO something about the shit-job you are always complaining about and you completely chew him out. If you have a hard time with feedback (uh-hem, criticism), you are certainly not alone, my friend. In fact, we are actually wired to defend ourselves if we feel attacked, so OF COURSE your knee-jerk reaction is to spout of reciprocal accusations and cast blame in the opposite direction. Listen, I’m not saying that your partner or your bestie is always in the right, but what I am saying is that it would likely serve you to dig a bit deeper and call yourself out on your shit. How? I’m so glad you asked. In this week’s episode, I discuss what to look for when experiencing criticism from others, how to know if there is any validity, and what to do if you’ve accidentally m

RETREAT WITH ME IN MEXICO! You want to start your own biz, but you’re not sure you’re ‘good’ enough. You want to put your name in for the promotion, but you often think, “I’m not experienced enough”. You want to go back to school, but you often feel like you’re not young enough to start over. No matter what the goal… there is this constant phrase on loop in your mind… Not enough, not enough, not enough. UGH! Sound familiar? If so, join the club. No, seriously. In my decade+ of working in personal development, I can tell you that the idea that “I’m not enough” is probably one of the most common, deep-seated beliefs people hold. And, the bitch of it all, is that it damn-near always stifles your growth and keeps you from going after what you really want in your life. In essence, feeling “not enough’ can contribute to a shit-ton of unnecessary heartache and unhappiness. In this week’s show, I look at four concepts you can employ to bust out of feeling ‘less than’ and step into some serious worthiness and self-co

You’d like to think you’re a super evolved person… all open-minded. Super embracive of everyone. But, then you see someone on social media and you make up a whole story about who they are… without knowing a damn thing about them. Or maybe you’re hangin’ with your best buds and you find yourself talking shit about someone who you both work with… without knowing all the facts. Before you start beating yourself up for being a judgey judgerson, please know that we ALL do this. Most of the time it’s a complete reflex… a knee-jerk reaction. And… and there is a way to start questioning your judgemental instincts. So, let’s grow a bit, shall we? In this episode, I share five specific tactics you can employ to break you out of your concrete conclusions and assumptions and step into a place of genuine curiosity and inclusivity for everyone you engage with. Because, I’m assuming you’d appreciate the same grace from others, amiright? This pod explores: The first place to look if you think you don’t ever judge others My