Oh Crap I Love My Toddler... But Holy F*ck

In this episode we’re going to dig into: “what to do with all the candy” options…probably old hat for some of you but news to the newer parents. And we’ll dig into ways you can help make Halloween less meltdowny. Largely by front loading super big play, super good nutrition, and super good sleep. And psst…come closer, I wanna tell you a secret: If you child is under 3, you can actually skip Halloween if you want to. Buy Jamie’s book Jamie’s Instagram Jamie’s Patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s time once again to answer some questions from my incredible patrons. I can’t tell you how much I love hearing from you all, and, at the moment it looks like we’ll be doing these episodes around once a month, so sit back and enjoy the September 2020 Edition! Today, we’ll look at an assortment of patron queries around such topics as introducing your dates to your kids, independent play and expressing ‘fear’, and toddler regression when a new sibling arrives. I’ll also offer advice about getting your kids to eat at mealtimes, dealing with ‘inconsequential behavior’, and managing contact with toxic family members both for yourself and your kids. Again, I absolutely love hearing from you all, and your questions are excellent ones for all parents to learn about, so please keep them coming!   The Finer Details of This Episode: · Don’t introduce someone you’re dating to your child(ren) too soon · So many factors regarding your situation go into the decision of when to do this · Recognize that your child will eit

On today’s episode, I’m joined by Janae, who runs a website and Instagram account called Prepared Like a Mother, where she helps readers learn to prepare things like food storage for emergencies. You all know I’m a casual prepper, so I wanted to have Janae on to help us learn a little bit more about how to prepare for emergencies—not the zombie apocalypse kind, but real-life shit. First, Janae explains how she got into disaster preparedness via a childhood obsession with severe weather and a resulting determination not to be left scrambling in the event of a disaster. She then turns to food storage specifically and discusses the benefits of maintaining a store even outside of doomsday events, along with practical, sensible tips on creating a store without getting wacky about it. Plus, we talk about our efforts with homesteading and how it’s a return to a way of life that used to be normal, even if our views on canning differ somewhat! I then ask Janae to guide us through what she’d put in a bare-bones disaste

Today’s episode is all about something that I see increasingly with Moms, and never really with Dads, but it sorely needs to be addressed, so Dads, feel free to listen in as well. Mom-shaming is definitely on the increase, especially through the internet and social media, and today we’ll look at some of its components and I’ll share my perspective on what to do if it’s happening to you. I begin by looking at the prevalence of ‘identity parenting’ in society today, the importance of ‘staying in your lane’ and just how difficult the internet and social media make this for everyone, particularly through the algorithms they employ. We’ll explore the notion that we, as humans, want to be part of a group, and that currently our groups are so often formed through common ideology where people are getting different takes on the news and care about different things from each other. I dive deep on the causes and concerns with judging others and the futility of debating others online. The current example of where we are

This week’s episode holds some parallels with last week’s show where I stressed the need to find the right effort behind the outcome when offering praise to your child. This time around, I’m looking at the need to ask the right question in order to find the right solution to problem behaviors your children may be exhibiting. Unfortunately, these days we’re finding an increasing number of parents who are looking for non-existent solutions due to their wrong questions, and I’m here to set the record straight today. I begin by reviewing just how critical it is to ask the right question, and acknowledging that crappy behavior always has a root cause. I then discuss the questions, especially the ‘Why?” questions which help us to dig down deep into these root causes, and offer a few examples - which you will probably recognize from your own life - and their solutions, to help you understand the required approach. The value of using “I’ statements and working with your partner to find a solution without blame or res

Welcome back to another episode where I get a chance to respond to some patron questions that I’m sure many of you out there are asking as well. The two we are looking at today deal with waiting and screen time, and with sparking graciousness in your child. As a full believer that, if you need to, use screens to help babysit your kids, I also look at the creative benefits of boredom, and the importance of kids being aware of their surroundings. Delayed gratification remains an issue with kids these days, and the arts of conversation and behaving with other people are suffering from their dependence on screens, so I also offer a number of strategies to use in restaurants, grocery stores and at appointments to help keep kids occupied while also improving these skills. Regarding graciousness, I outline when this actually becomes developmentally possible for kids, and I stress again the need to model the behaviors we wish to see in our children. I cannot tell you just how much I appreciate you and your questions

Today’s episode is all about trauma – ‘Big T Trauma’, and ‘little t trauma’. As you may have noticed, the word ‘traumatized’ is greatly overused in parenting these days, and I have more than a few thoughts that I want and need to share with you all about it. First off, I define what both ‘Big T Trauma’ and ‘little t trauma’ are, explain why we need to stop using the word ‘traumatizing’, and explore the notion of ‘childhood wounds’ and their basis in shame. I then share some of Brene Brown’s ideas surrounding the toxic nature of shame along with some of my own, and offer some strategies to help you avoid adding to it and to help your kids become more resilient with it. You’re going to want to be sure to stick around until the very end for my own moment of epiphany regarding the power that modeling holds in increasing or reducing shame. This is an intensely personal episode for me concerning a topic with which we all have experience, and about which we can and must make a positive impact in our own lives and th

On today’s episode, I want to share the details of the Spartan Beast obstacle course I ran at the start of September. It took place on Mount Killington in Vermont (a very steep ski mountain) and is considered the hardest of the Spartan races worldwide, resembling an outdoor Ninja Warrior course with hanging obstacles. This was my first time back running a Spartan race after I fell during one last year and blew out my knee, after which a doctor said I needed surgery, and I refused in favor of doing my own rehab. That same doctor told me I’d never run another Spartan race if I didn’t get the surgery, which I, of course, took as a challenge, so running this race was a validation of my choices. And I got that validation in the best way, managing to have fun, enjoy the community, and run a clean race (i.e. without missing an obstacle), something not many people manage! Speaking of challenging myself, this summer, I did the 75 Hard Challenge, a mental toughness program that involves hydration, working out, reading,

As you all know I absolutely love hearing from you all, and so many good questions are coming my way these days that I figured now is the perfect time to offer my responses. While some of these questions are specific to the pandemic and all that it entails, the answers, as you’ll see, offer information and advice that are beneficial at any time. I’ll start by further exploring the ‘Govern, Garden, Guide’ concept which we have looked at in the past, and also share some strategies about ending the use of pacifiers and thumb sucking. Other questions I look at are regarding children who are still experiencing difficulty dealing with the restrictions that the pandemic has generated, addressing both typical and violent tantrums, teaching kids to be able to laugh things off, and instilling a good attitude in children. The topics may seem wide ranging, but woven through them all is the desire to provide our children with the strong foundation they need to enjoy strong and rewarding relationships throughout their live

I know that we’re all struggling just to get to everything that needs to be completed each day, and given that I have a number of people wondering how I ‘get so much done’, today I will be sharing my work flow with you all. Believe me, no one knows better than me that no one can do it all, but hopefully some of the habits I have acquired and lessons I have learned over the years will resonate with you today. I’ll share with you how not overscheduling, figuring out areas of weakness and addressing them, and becoming aware of your monthly energy flow can all have positive impacts. We’ll also explore my monthly, weekly, and daily routines, and look at the importance of rest, wise time investments, and digital uncluttering. Like I said, I know I can’t do it all, and I don’t claim to be able to, but what I can do is share with you some of the steps I take to help ensure that all the most important aspects of my life and my work are addressed as fully and effectively as possible.   The Finer Details of This Episode

Buckle up, Alice, it’s time today for us to all go down the rabbit hole that opens up when we start to look at the wonderful world of sibling rivalry. Conversations with some of my consultant colleagues have raised this topic, which then led to a number of other related topics, so that’s where we’re headed together in this episode. We’ll start with good old sibling rivalry, look at some strategies to help you and your children through this situation, and explore the dangers in ‘infantalizing’ our children rather than raising the expectations and challenging their little brains. Further down the rabbit hole, we’ll cover the importance of autonomy in our children, and I’ll offer a number of ideas and suggestions that will help you instill this vital trait in your kids. While it is true that sibling rivalry is simply a fact of life that we all have to deal with, today’s episode offers some valuable information and practical strategies that you can start implementing today to help prevent the regressions and poor

I am always so excited to hear from you, my listeners and patrons, and today I’d like to respond to two topics that were sent in to me recently. The first surrounds the experience of raising an only child, and being a good friend to those who may be doing so not by choice. Our second topic is all about when and how to introduce social media and devices to your child. What I can tell you is that there are a lot of opinions out there on both topics, and today I offer you mine with some references along the way to my own experiences, both personally and professionally. In terms of the social media and device concerns, as in all aspects of raising a child, I cannot stress enough that you need to know your child – your understanding of them, the bond you have together, and the level of communication you maintain will all prove critical in navigating this successfully.   The Finer Details of This Episode: I don’t think anybody begrudges hearing about your kids and their siblings, but I wouldn’t ‘gush’ – if it’s a

Today’s episode is going to be a doozy as I talk to you once again about one of my absolute favorite topics – boundaries. This time, I’m adding in the component of effective communication as well and the impact it has on boundaries, so buckle up! I start by reviewing my well known love of boundaries, and then explain nonviolent communication and the impact that our caregivers’ responses to our needs as children have upon our ability to communicate needs and set boundaries later on in life. We’ll also explore family culture, codependency, and emotionally clean transactions through a fascinating analysis of ‘Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture’ which I have recently discovered. As you will hear, this topic is extremely important to me, not just professionally, but personally as well, and that is precisely why I am so very passionate about this episode. Join me today, and let’s learn together more about ourselves, and how we can enhance all of our relationships with effective communication.   The Finer Details of This

With all the talk these days of reopening society, I want to take this opportunity to speak with you about not only the anxiety which our children are experiencing during the ‘lockdown’ – and, believe me, they are feeling anxious – but also the anxiety that will be generated through the reopening process itself. Rhythm, routines, and rituals all have a part to play in this process, and I’m here to help support you and your children through it all. In today’s episode we look at exactly what we mean by rhythm, routine, and rituals, and acknowledge that both during the pandemic and after, rhythms are going to change. We look at behaviors and how to evaluate and work with them, determine when anxiety becomes ‘not normal’, and face up to the reality of the generational trauma our children are experiencing these days. I will also offer you some suggestions for finding your new rhythms and helping ease your children through the transition of ‘reopening society’. While there is undoubtedly going to be a lot of ‘menta

Knowing that our kids are influenced by our behavior and the examples we set can be a lot of pressure. Parents can feel like they have to be perfect all the time, especially with emotional issues like attachment and apologies, in case they negatively affect their child’s development. In today’s episode, I talk about how perfection isn’t the goal and offer some advice on how to stop worrying and learn to maintain your connection with your kids. The Finer Details of This Episode: A mother wrote to me about attachment styles, wondering if her child could have a different style to hers and her husband’s. Attachment styles are a concept used in psychology to describe how you relate to the people in your life, and relationships between people with different styles can go really wonky (I had a situation like this with a friend that I talked about in some podcast eps back in 2020). There are lots of different attachment styles, including: secure—you can trust fairly easily, are attuned to emotions, can communicate

My guest on this week’s episode is Zoi Jones, an old client and now a friend, who’s here with some wonderful stories about how she handles being an entrepreneur, a businesswoman, and a mom all at the same time. I also wanted to have Zoi on because she’s a personal injury lawyer, and she’s going to give us some tips about what to do if you have an auto accident and need help. The Finer Details of This Episode: Zoi’s wanted to be an attorney since she was five years old, growing up with an attorney dad and her mom running the family law firm. When she was just about to start law school, people started telling her that she’d have to choose between being a lawyer and having a family—something that surprised her since both her parents were very hands-on despite being involved in the law business. Zoi still feels pulled in all different directions but knows that it’s impossible to do everything herself and has worked hard to maintain a balance and create non-negotiables for career and family time. It took a lot

On last week’s episode, I brought up the topic of kids having access to the internet and porn. It might seem like a far-fetched idea for a podcast about toddlers, but these issues come up a lot sooner than you think. Today I’ll discuss how to introduce these concepts to your children slowly and gently, without overwhelming them with more information than they’re ready for. This episode is all about planting the seeds early for blossoming conversations. The internet, texting, and social media have ushered in a new era of parenting, but having an open dialogue with your kids from an early age will encourage them to come to you with their problems later on, and develop the valuable skills they’ll need to be able to tackle tricky situations by themselves as well. The Finer Details of This Episode: Phone use is a tough topic that will come up sooner than you think, and it will lead to other issues such as access to the internet You can start having miniature conversations now to help develop the skills they’ll

Elizabeth Harris is a scientist, author and spa owner, and today I have invited her to the podcast to share her discovery about PANDAS. I have noticed recently that some clients come to me and can’t find out why their child exhibits certain behaviors. Elizabeth noticed some signs on her sons and, after many visits to the doctors, she began her research looking for the root cause of her son’s behavior. She has authored two books, America’s Infected and What’s Wrong With My Child, and today, we sit down to discuss why it’s important to do your own research and to always trust your gut when something feels wrong. Elizabeth kicks off the show by describing the signs she saw in her son at an early stage - obsession and separation anxiety, amongst others. She talks about delving into the research when she noticed it was not about behavioral therapy but something deeper. Together, we also highlight how important it is to know that, while parenting is difficult, you shouldn’t be wearing yourself out. Your child’s beh

Today, I have a treat for you guys—I’m interviewing Chantel Zimmerman, the founder and creator of Sensory Garden and Play, on her first podcast ever! Chantel lives, breathes, eats, and shits proprioception, vestibular movement, and big play, and I wanted to have her on the show to talk about her educational philosophy and the programs that she runs, including her forest school. Chantel starts the episode by telling us about her background as a public school teacher and how her post-pregnancy move into tutoring led to her setting up programs based on sensory learning and eventually opening her full-blown forest school. She then explains how important it is for parents to give serious thought to what they want from childcare before choosing a program and that we often get trapped in an outdated educational philosophy that prepares kids to work in industry rather than for the modern world they’ll be living in. In her school, Chantel uses a Scandinavian model that encourages kids to learn from life and experience

Today, I’m thrilled to be joined by a very special guest, Sarah Smith, who’s a pelvic floor rehab specialist. Sarah and I share some pretty similar philosophies and practices—we’ve both done intermittent fasting, we both cold plunge, and we both mouth-tape—and I wanted to have her on the show because of her expertise and unorthodox views. We start things off with Sarah talking about her work and explaining the various kinds of pelvic floor issues women can experience, including prolapses. Sarah herself had a pelvic floor prolapse in 2015 and was prescribed kegels as part of her recovery, which she found not only didn’t help but actually made her feel worse. Instead, Sarah uses breathwork to strengthen the core, and she explains how this helps your body manage pressure and align itself as a support system, ensuring that no one part of the body, pelvic floor included, is doing all of the work. Next, Sarah shares some of the breath practices she utilizes in her work that help people get out of constant fight or