Kate Hastings Show

In this episode, I break down why your wins aren’t sticking, your losses feel personal, and your emotions keep running the show. I share what used to drive me—chasing achievement highs, punishing myself for every misstep, and confusing shame with discipline. It worked—until it didn’t. I walk through the actual definition of debriefing, why it’s backed by neuroscience and performance psychology, and how to use it as a tool to stop repeating emotional patterns. You’ll learn how to reflect on losses without spiraling, how to break down wins so they become repeatable, and how to process emotions so they stop owning you. This is about setting standards, pulling out one small shift, and finally leading yourself like a pro.

You don’t live what you know—you live what you believe, and if your body doesn’t feel safe with the truth, it’ll keep choosing what’s familiar, even if it’s toxic. I used to say I wanted real love, but I kept choosing chaos, not because I didn’t know better, but because I hadn’t healed enough to believe I was worthy of better. The gap between knowing and believing is where sabotage lives—because belief isn’t built on facts, it’s built on repetition, safety, and identity. Integration is when your thoughts, emotions, and actions finally agree—when you stop proving your worth and start embodying it. So ask yourself: where are you living out a lie you no longer agree with—and what would change if you started acting like the truth was already yours?   Kate Hastings/Mental Health Coach  Phenyx.fit 

This episode is a wake-up call. We’re not losing because we’re incapable—we’re losing because we’re skipping the basics. Everyone’s chasing hacks, aesthetics, and highlight reels, but nobody’s mastering the stuff that actually builds a life. Today, I break down what it really means to simplify, to show up with discipline, and to stop outsourcing your power to motivation or convenience. I talk about why consistency beats intensity, why your excuses are just polished versions of avoidance, and how getting back to your standards will save you from the spiral. This is about routines, not rewards. Systems, not hype. It’s not sexy—but it’s what works. If your life feels off track, this episode will pull you back to center. This isn’t just about getting better—it’s about getting honest. If you want to build a life you’re proud of, it starts here. Not with more noise, but with a return to the fundamentals. Listen in, take notes, and then apply it—because mastering the basics is what separates the ones who talk from t

You build confidence by showing up when it’s boring—and sticking around when it’s hard. You love the process by trusting what it’s building in you. Not everything has to feel exciting to be worth doing. Most people chase the high—they want passion, results, applause. But real growth? Real self-respect? That comes from doing the reps when no one’s watching. You fall in love with the process when you stop needing it to feel good and start being proud that you didn’t quit. Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach     

Unrealistic expectations are rarely random—they're often rooted in early experiences where love, attention, or safety were earned rather than freely given. As children, we absorb the unspoken rules of approval: be perfect, achieve more, don’t mess up. These rules become internalized standards we carry into adulthood, showing up in our careers, relationships, and personal goals. We think we’re aiming high, being disciplined, or pushing for excellence—but what we’re actually doing is reenacting a belief system where worth must be proven. This pressure creates a dangerous cycle: impossible standards lead to inevitable “failure,” which leads to internalized shame and dwindling confidence. This is the subtle art of self-sabotage. It doesn’t always look like destruction—it often looks like drive. You set the bar just out of reach, and when you can’t meet it, you turn inward and question your value. The loop is brutal: you fail to hit a mark that was never realistic, and instead of questioning the standard, you ques

Behind every high achiever lies a story most people never see—a narrative woven from unprocessed trauma and relentless pursuit. For years, I was fueled by a dark motivation: a survival instinct honed by childhood wounds that pushed me to perform, to prove, and to control every aspect of my life. I tracked every calorie, trained until exhaustion, and rebranded my eating disorder as discipline and wellness. On the surface, I had it all together. But beneath that polished exterior, I wasn’t thriving—I was merely performing. I wasn’t grounded; I was surviving. I realized that the fuel I was using—pain, fear, and the need to prove my worth—was slowly killing me. That dark drive, while it carried me through countless challenges, never allowed me to rest. It kept me in a constant state of chase, a relentless cycle of proving that I was enough, even when deep down I felt anything but. I had mistaken destruction for transformation, chaos for clarity, and performance for true growth. Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @

Discipline wasn’t saving me. It was silently destroying me. Have you ever been praised for how hard you push—while breaking inside? I used to be the woman who “had it all together.” Disciplined. Reliable. High-performing. But under the surface? I was a storm in a perfectly tailored outfit. I never missed a workout—even when I was sick. I tracked every calorie like my life depended on it. I said yes when I meant no. I showed up for others when I was falling apart. I confused exhaustion with impact. I called obsession “excellence.” But what I didn’t know was this: My “discipline” was a trauma response. My “drive” was dysregulation. My “success” was self-abandonment in disguise. I didn’t believe I was allowed to rest. Because deep down, I didn’t believe I was worthy unless I earned it. Society clapped for my grind. But I was building a life on the edge of a breakdown. Let’s stop glorifying the grind that’s killing us. Redefine discipline. Not as destruction—but as devotion.   Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @c

I know what it’s like to feel trapped—in your body, your mind, and the patterns you don’t know how to escape. For years, I chased extremes—bingeing, purging, over-exercising, partying—searching for control, validation, and worth. But what I didn’t realize was that food, fitness, and discipline weren’t the real problem. They were just symptoms of a deeper wound. This podcast is about breaking free—from self-sabotage, destructive habits, and the false beliefs that keep us small. Through raw storytelling, deep insights, and conversations that challenge everything you think you know, I’m here to help you heal at the root. If you’re ready to stop just surviving and start leading—this is for you. Listen on Apple Podcasts & Spotify. Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach       

The Reality of Emotional Numbness Most people don’t even realize they’re in it until someone puts it into words. You wake up, go through the motions, handle responsibilities, maybe even accomplish big things, but inside, there’s nothing. No spark, no deep emotion. The things that used to excite you don’t anymore, and the things that should hurt barely register. You laugh, but it’s hollow. You succeed, but it feels empty. Life happens, but you’re watching from a distance. It’s not just exhaustion or a rough patch—it’s emotional shutdown. It happens slowly, the result of years spent suppressing emotions, avoiding pain, and pushing forward without processing life. At first, it feels like self-preservation, but over time, it costs you your ability to truly feel. The truth is, emotional numbness doesn’t just happen. It’s a survival response. Maybe it started with unresolved pain—childhood trauma, heartbreak, rejection, or loss—where shutting down felt safer than feeling everything. Maybe you’ve spent years in surv

What if I told you that every time you allow someone to cross your boundaries, you’re teaching them that it’s okay to disrespect you? Think about it. That friend who constantly asks for favors but never shows up for you. The coworker who dumps extra work on your plate, knowing you won’t say no. The relationship that drains you because you’re always the one compromising. Hard Truth: This isn’t about them—it’s about YOU. Because people will always push as far as you let them. But today? That changes.   Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach       

Ever catch yourself over-explaining or justifying your decisions? Welcome to The Kate Hastings Podcast, where I break down the truth about rejection, abandonment, and judgment—without the fluff. I dive into why we feel the need to explain ourselves, how to break the habit, and what it takes to speak with confidence and authority. Expect raw insights, practical strategies, and direct coaching to help you stop seeking approval and start standing in your power. It’s time to own your voice and speak unapologetically.     Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach      Mission Med Plus   

Comparison is a thief. It steals your joy, your confidence, your momentum. It convinces you that you’re behind, that you’re missing something, that your worth is measured against someone else’s success. But here’s the truth: you’re on your own path. You are not behind. You are not lacking. The second you stop looking sideways and start focusing on your mission, you take back your power. Every moment spent comparing is a moment wasted. The people you envy? They have struggles too. The ones winning? They’re too busy working to waste time worrying about someone else’s progress. Winners don’t compare, they execute.So ask yourself—what if today was the day you stopped waiting for permission and started living like the person you were meant to be? One day, you’ll wish you had started sooner. So don’t waste another second. No more watching. No more measuring. No more waiting. The world doesn’t need another version of someone else—it needs you, fully owning who you are. So go. Build. Become.      Phenyx Fit Kate Hast

Failure doesn’t happen overnight—it creeps in when you justify excuses, tolerate low standards, and let hesitation win. Success isn’t talent, luck, or motivation—it’s discipline, execution, and refusing to negotiate with weakness. If you don’t control your time, distractions will. If you don’t audit your environment, mediocrity will feel normal. The people who win aren’t the ones who feel ready; they’re the ones who move anyway, track their progress, and outwork their old selves daily. Every decision either starves failure or feeds it—there is no neutral. Half-effort guarantees failure a front-row seat, but full execution suffocates it before it takes root. So ask yourself: Are you feeding success, or are you feeding failure? Because at the end of the day, you don’t get what you want—you get what you demand. Now move.   Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach     

Standards, values and boundaries on their own, are just ideas. They don’t define you—your actions do. Saying you value discipline, honesty, or respect is meaningless unless you have the structure to back it up. That structure comes from principles, standards, and boundaries. Principles are the internal rules that guide your decisions, especially when motivation fades or external pressure builds. Standards are the actions that prove your values in real life, holding you accountable to what you claim to stand for. Boundaries protect those standards, ensuring that distractions, people, or excuses don’t pull you off course. Take discipline as an example. If you say you value discipline, then your principle might be: “I do what needs to be done, no matter how I feel.” Your standard would be showing up, training, working, and executing, even when you’re tired or uninspired. Your boundary would be refusing to let external distractions—social events, late nights, negativity—interfere with your set priorities. Most pe

Every single interaction you have sends a message about how you expect to be treated. Whether you realize it or not, you’re always teaching people how to treat you. People will only treat you the way you allow them to. Boundaries aren’t just something you set—they’re the blueprint for how people engage with you. Every interaction is a lesson in what you accept, what you challenge, and what you refuse to tolerate. If you tolerate mistreatment, disrespect, or inconsistency, guess what? You just taught them that it’s okay. Silence is dangerous—if you don’t speak up, you’re sending the message that you’re fine with whatever’s happening. People will push as far as you let them, and if you’re inconsistent with your standards, they’ll test those limits over and over again. Self-respect is the foundation—if you don’t respect yourself, don’t expect anyone else to either. Saying “no” but giving in teaches people your boundaries are flexible, and once they see a crack, they’ll keep pushing. The way you handle conflict t

Trauma often leaves us feeling broken, disconnected, and stuck in the patterns it creates. But what if, instead of letting it hold us back, we could turn those experiences into our greatest strengths? Healing isn’t just about survival; it’s about uncovering the gifts hidden in the pain. When we heal, trauma can become a source of incredible power, clarity, and purpose. Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach     

The Hard Truth: Success Isn’t Comfortable If you’re chasing comfort, you’re not chasing success. Success doesn’t live in ease or convenience—it’s forged in discomfort, sacrifice, and persistence. It’s not about fleeting motivation or luck; it’s about showing up every day, doing the work, and embracing the struggle. True success doesn’t come from a single trait or effort. It’s built on the interconnection of resilience, discipline, and courage. These three traits don’t stand alone—they form a powerful feedback loop where each one fuels and strengthens the others. Together, they create the foundation for meaningful, lasting growth and achievement.     Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach     

This episode explores the freedom that comes from letting go of the need for approval and embracing who you truly are. Discover why so many people feel trapped by others’ opinions, the toll it takes on your mental and emotional well-being, and why it’s a race you’ll never win. Learn practical steps to break free from people-pleasing, set boundaries, and live in alignment with your values. By focusing on authenticity and self-respect, you’ll gain the courage to stop chasing validation and start living boldly. This is your guide to reclaiming your power and living a life that’s truly your own.   Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach       

Life can feel like a constant ride on emotional waves, from soaring highs to crashing lows. In this week’s solo episode of "Beyond the Highs and Lows: Embracing Neutrality for Resilience and Growth," I share my personal insights on how to step off this rollercoaster and into a space of calm, centered strength. Neutrality isn’t about suppressing emotions or being indifferent—it’s about cultivating the flexibility and resilience to respond to life with clarity and purpose, no matter what comes your way. In this episode, I’ll walk you through practical strategies for developing emotional adaptability, managing your nervous system, and reframing how you approach challenges. This isn’t just about surviving the ups and downs—it’s about thriving in the in-between. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the chaos of extremes, this episode is your guide to finding steadiness and empowerment through neutrality.   Phenyx Fit Kate Hastings Podcast  @coachkate1  Mental Health Coach     

Plateaus, those moments when progress stalls and frustration sets in, are not roadblocks but opportunities for growth. They force us to reflect, recalibrate, and prepare for the next level. Growth isn’t linear—it’s a cycle of effort and renewal. By embracing plateaus as a natural part of the process, we can transform them into powerful tools for transformation. Often, plateaus arise from two key factors: complacency and burnout. Success can lead us to settle into a comfort zone, avoiding the discomfort needed for further growth. On the other hand, relentless effort without rest can drain motivation and focus. Balance is key—recovery isn’t weakness; it’s the fuel that drives sustained progress. Breaking through a plateau requires a shift in mindset. It’s often internal fears or self-doubt, not lack of ability, that hold us back. Developing self-awareness through journaling and reframing limiting beliefs can help. By addressing these mental roadblocks, you open the door to new possibilities and a renewed sense