Late To The Table

The October spook-tacular continues!  The guys check out Friday The 13th and find out it has next to nothing to do with Jason Voorhees as you know him.  Did you know he doesn’t get that goddamn hockey mask until the third film?  I know, right?!  What’s the deal with that?  I mean don’t get me wrong, plenty of sexy teens are murdered, but still.

It’s time for the Late To The Table Halloween spook-tacular of classic horror films!  Does George Romero’s Night Of The Living Dead hold up or is it just an excuse to watch racists get shot and eaten by zombies?  I mean that sounds worth it, right  Are the zombies just drunk?  Does Rich know the difference between a vampire hunter and a zombie hunter?  Is this spook-tacular nonsense annual?  FIND. OUT. NOW.

Does the 1980 comedy classic Caddyshack hold up, or will Mike and Rich disappoint dads across America?  Dads Across America sounds like the lamest organization.  Is it a real thing?  *Googles* Apparently it’s an uplifting youtube channel.  Who knew?

They guys finish up women director’s month with a hard hitting expose on masculinity and the war on terror.  Just kidding!  The episode is called The Fart Locker.  What did you expect?  Dummies!   Meta-tag nonsense:  Jeremy Renner, Kathryn Bigelow, Anthony Mackie, Kate Austen, We have to go BAAAAAAACK, Ralph Finnes, Voldemort in a desert.

Mike discovers his internet rival.  Rich is stalked by a renown eatery.  Jennifer Lawrence gets the shit kicked out of her by meth addled hill folk.  All in a day’s work on America’s favorite podcast: Late To The Table.  This episode brought to you by forest peanut butter: if you find peanut butter in the forest, don’t eat it! Forest peanut butter, since 1977. 

Women director’s month continues!  The guys revisit a movie Mike used to dislike only to find out he’s a big ol’ dum dum.  What is it with these Coppolas man? Good movies.   stupid meta tags! Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson, Sofia Coppola, Japan, Puppies, Baby Ducklings

The guys begin a month long exploration of women directors and somehow create one their most sexist episodes to date.  OOPS!    SEO STUUUUFFFF: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Sleepless in Seattle, Nora Ephron, ponzi scheme, butts, penguins, butt-penguins

Mike and Rich struggle through their difficult lives and microphone troubles while similarly privileged white people endure mild discomfort at an elite preparatory school.  God that sentence has to be a run on right?  I mean I could look it up.  People with grammar skills should write this, but only idiots do.  Idiots who buy Logitech products.  Logitech:  Probably Not Run By Pedophiles, get your Logitech keyboard or mouse today!

Alright.  Front loading this.  If you like The NeverEnding Story you’re either born between the years of 1980-1985 or are kind of a dumb dumb.  Not saying, just sayin’.  Get sucked into a magical world where everything is made up and the stakes don’t matter!

Tim Burton’s 1989 classic Batman started the Big-Hollywood-Super-Hero-Blockbuster.  Are there enough hyphens in the world to determine if it holds up or falls victim to going full Burton? 

Mike and Rich return from vacation and enter into a new world of Pokemon Go and bleak holocaust films.

Three idiots avoid talking about the mid 90s comedy Clueless.  Mike and Rich have local legend DJ Presto guest star and get bogged down by the very real threat of a bear attack. 

The guys are going on vacation and have to record a crap ton of episodes in advanced.  They recorded this one on the 4th of July!   Is this an opportunity to reflect on what makes America great, or an opportunity to depress the shit out of you?  C’mon it’s episode 86, you know which one it is.  Get ready to be bummed out/charmed by a delightful 80s comedy!

Mike and Rich delve into the evil that lurks in the hearts of rabbits.   Does the classic animated movie that scarred a generation hold up or is it just bunny torture porn?

The guys are surprisingly charmed by Eddie Murphy, the 80’s, and the idea of vibranium deposits in Zamunda.  Let’s be clear though, James Earl Jones is a war criminal in this movie right?  I mean you can’t dress like Muammar Gaddafi, be in charge of a small African nation, and not commit genocide, right?  This is all unclear.

Is Angelina Jolie talented or just a money fly honey?  Is this question innately sexist?  Is this podcast part of the patriarchy?   Has she ever been in a good movie?  Doe  Late to the Table start off with the good intention to answer these questions and then devolve into terrible what if scenarios and jokes about dicks?  Probably.

Late To The Table mints another classic episode that’s half as good as last night’s Game of Thrones but twice as good as a kick to the nuts.  Does the Spielberg classic hold up in 2016 or is it just a bunch of shakey farm houses/objects?

Two idiots with a microphone think they know better than 40 years of popular opinion.  That car chase though!

Does 16 Candles hold up?   The guys have never seen it.  Apparently being rich and white in the 80s was a real struggle…to sexually assault people.  Who can ever forget such racially sensitive characters like “The Donger”?  Ok, that makes it sound bad.  BUT IS IT?!  Find out now in this episode recorded before the last episode!  Non traditional story structure baby! 

In an effort to record two episodes in a week the guys chose a short, sci-fi, cult classic.  Turns out it’s the most complicated movie of all fucking time.  Whoops!  Made for $7000 dollars in 2004 does Primer break the mold for modern sci fi movies or is it just a headache that makes you bleed out of you ears?  Find out NOW.  OR LATER.  IT’S TIME TRAVEL.  GET WITH IT BABY!