Late To The Table

Late To The Table finally strikes it rich by combining podcasts and pornography.   Listen as Mike and Rich do the whole show naked.  Hey, you can’t prove we didn’t.

Ok. Ok.  We’re not late to a table.  This is current.  There are spoilers.  SPOILERS. Rich intensely talks about the Expanded universe, Mike dicks around and talks about robot hand jobs, Brent is just a nice, stand up guy who likes Star Wars…you know usual Late To The Table stuff.    BUUUUT, different than a standard episode.  A free wheelin’ talk about a current movie.  IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE COULD DO AN EPISODE THIS WEEK.  ENJOY IT. 

The guys finally complete their Jedi training/destiny and watch Die Hard.  Does it hold up?  Is it the greatest Christmas movie ever?  Probably.  Listen don’t pretend you’re not all just watching Star Wars now.  I see you.  I see you Kyle.  In Berlin Connecticut.  GO AHEAD.  Watch Star Wars.  Just listen to Late to the Table while you’re waiting in line baby!*It’s not the best episode ever, I mean did you listen to our Gremlins episode?  That was good yo!

12/14 6:52pm REAL AUDIO IS UP, UNEDITED SHOW WAS UPLOADED BY MISTAKE! SORRY! Mike and Rich watch a small art film called Point Break.  Have you ever wondered what would happen if surfers became bank robbers?  I mean, me neither, but Kathryn Bigelow has.  Is the movie worth a reboot or does it wipe out?  Get it?  Wipe out?  It’s a surfing joke.  Killing it. 

Ho ho how’s it going homeys?  It’s Late to the Table holiday movie month!  The guys have seen Gremlins 2 but never Gremlins.  That makes sense right?  That’s not weird is it?  It is weird.  We watched Gremlins!  It was enjoyable!  What other movie combines Christmas, comedy, and horror?  Christmas with the Kranks?  I mean, yeah.  Most Time Allen vehicles are a little spooky.  I’m looking at you Wild Hogs.

The feel good movie that’s not really a feel good movie!  Mike and Rich check out the 90’s classic that your middle school music teacher loved.  Also: Terrence Howard.  I repeat:  we have a Terrence Howard sighting.  Set your Terrence Howard Alert Level to 4.  This is not a drill. 

Waaaaah!  Episode 52!  One year of the podcast!  Thanks for sticking with us!  Quick warning:  THE AUDIO QUALITY IS A LITTLE OFF IN THIS ONE.  Nothing too horrendous, we did our best to fix a mic issue.  We have a lot of fun in this episode, it’s worth it.  I mean, damn son, look at the title! 

Mike and Rich go for broke/gross corporate synergy and see if old James Bond movies hold up.  Did you guys see Spectre?  I don’t think Daniel Craig uses a door in that movie.  Homeboy is jumping through windows and punching out walls CONSTANTLY.  Maybe Bond just hates doors?  Fact:  If you go back through all the James Bond movies you never see him use a door.  FACT. 

Have you ever wanted to watch Mel Gibson cold clock a teenage girl? What about an S&M death match on the set of the California Love music video?  Boy do we have the movie for you.  The guys celebrates episode 50 in the worst possible way: completing their viewing of the Mad Max trilogy.

Somehow the tale of a young girl being sold into slavery and healing people with the power of medicinal poop has become one of the most acclaimed animated films of all time.  GET IT SON!

You know the scariest thing about The Exorcist?  The fact that I have to post these episodes super early in the morning AND (Borat voice) my wife (/Borat voice) keeps the house so cold it feels like I’m dying.  Cold like Regan’s room in The Exorcist.  See that transition?  That’s why I’m a pro.  It was nominated for 10 Academy Awards in 1973, BUT IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR TWO DUMMIES LIKE MIKE AND RICH?  FIND. OUT. NOOOOOOOWW.

Mike has never seen an episode of Seinfeld.  Rich and Dev threatened to murder his dog if he didn’t change that.  Mike watched an episode of Seinfeld.  NOT JUST ONE EPISODE.  Three! Three episodes of Seinfeld.  Is it the greatest show of all time, or just a pretender?  I mean probably neither right?  People make too make bold statements.  Get into it! 

Pros:  Glengarry Glen Ross has an amazing cast/team behind it.  Cons: It’s not very good.  Hear me out! It just doesn't hold up for Mike and Rich!  Maybe you disagree…MAYBE YOU’RE AN IDIOT.   I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.  Listen to the utter disappointment in the guys’ voices as they try to figure out what went wrong.  This episode brought to you by Traffic Cop!

Planes, Trains, And Automobiles is one of Roger Ebert’s “Great Movies” as well as Steve Martin’s and John Candy’s favorite movie of there own.   So then why do the guys politely disagree?  Are the able to keep a critical mindset in the face of John Hughes filled 80s nostalgia or are they just bad people?  Both?  Neither?  I mean we’re okay.  

We did it.  We really did it.  Does Top Gun hold up in 2015?  Are pedophiles allowed in the danger zone?  What NFL quarterback is the equivalent of Tom Cruise’s Maverick?  This episode will take your breath away.  Guaranteed.  

The guys venture into Jim Henson’s 1986 movie labyrinth and encounter a perplexing maze of their own, filled with poorly conceived plot structure and extraneous scenes.  OK.  This movie was rough for us.  We’re guys in our late 20s, early 30s.  This movie was not meant for us.  Maybe it was meant for you.  Maybe you saw it as a child/are Jennifer Connelly.  We don’t poop all over it.  We try to figure it out.  There IS a poop swamp though…so…figure that out.  Chiggity check it. 

Dev’s back from vacation!  The team has reassembled like the Avengers, except their super power is making the BEST SHOW EVER…all while winning Peabody awards and being deflowered by multiple groupies.  See Cameron Crowe?  I can be hagiographic too.  Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go drape shopping with Wiz Khalifa.  (SINCERITY CORNER! I LIKE THIS MOVIE! YOU PROBABLY WILL TOO! CHECK. IT. OUT.)

The guys have never seen the Wes Craven classic and set out to investigate if it holds up to the hype.  There they fall prey to the evils of DMX, public education, and drinking absinthe while podcasting. 

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of mid level account executives at toy companies?  Tom Hanks does, and he’s here to fight for justice…80s style.  C’mon man it’s Big!  Everyone in the world except me has seen Big.  Topics include Jodie Sweetie, new world religions/economies,  and the elephant in the room: pedophilia   Side note:  this is one of my perosnal favorite Late To The Table episodes, go get it!.

Mike and Rich knock off the rust from their recent vacations by watching the Scorcese classic Goodfellas.  Marvel at their wit!  Wonder at their analysis! Be vaguely amused by their future HBO reality tv show!  Hit it!