Abject Suffering

My cyber friends, let us avoid the crunchpunks by plugging this filthy jack into the back of our elbows... Here we are: absorbed within the placentaverse of this vegan dopplersphere.

Can gritty presentation save a mediocre third person shooter? We find out what separates the 50 Cents from the rest.

Our most foul game prototype yet springs from a game that falls in the bottom 5% of everything we've ever covered on this show.

Hi, I'm Maga Morn and I'm here to beat the Robert Masters.

Inside the case, you find an object so cursed that even Strahd would object to its existence. A dim mist descends.... You are now in Ravenloft.

Europe was a mistake.

Slight discussion of a super British anti-game quickly gives way to an anxious therapy session about the 2016 US election. You've been forewarned!

We recorded this one in case of emergency, since our great godfather died on Columbus Day.

Gotta say this will be a weird one, Syrg. It's a dicey thing to talk about, hopefully we treat the subject matter with a respect that is completely lacking in the original product.

Prepare for a game that's better than Mario Paint, if your metric for quality is "number of animal sounds available for music composition".

From behind you, you hear a wheezing rasp. Before you can turn, you feel the rush of air. You know he's standing there, wagging both his finger and his hammer. As though to confirm the inevitable, you make the last movement you'll ever make. You wheel around. It's Kernel Kleanup. You've been deemed inpure. Oblivion awaits.

It's a boilerplate, mostly competent third person shooter that's obviously of its time, with lots of really neat arcade-style reward loops thrown in for good measure. But the real star here is the surreal, over the top trappings that could only come from the mind of the hubristic branding tycoon that is 50 Cent. Yes, this game has been beaten to death. But there's just so much here to talk about.

It's an also-ran on the level of Sparkster and Bubsy, an attempt to cash in on the mascot craze with the ugliest hero imaginable. It's Aero, the Acrobatic Bat.

This raffle-winner episode about a terrible, outdated isometric collectathon comes with a SEVERE content warning for the last third of the episode... specifically for people who get squeamish about eye stuff.

The ultimate lesson of this tech-demo stretched to full game is "be yourself." Also, if any viscous substance crosses our doorstep, we'll immediately start talking about ejaculate.

Nick Glauber joins us this week to talk about a misguided Christian FPS that's so bad, it makes us physically ill and destroys our computers. Special Guest: Nick Glauber.

The only "rad" thing about this game is its name, but there might be something worthwhile here. Also, orbs. Orbs. Orbs.

It's a game that will make you physically ill, and ideologically queasy!

Thus begins a strange new fascination.

Of all the games to break the top 10% of things we've covered for the show, how in the world is "Boogerman" one of them?