M6p: Marvel 616 Politics

I have to admit that I’ve been liking the different titles around here lately. I mean, where else but in a Universe that is going to collide and reboot and become meaningless could you ever enjoy titles like “Funny Book that No One Takes Seriously” #1? And who can forget “Book Left Over From Big Event…To Let Readers Know It Mattered” #1? And the ever-popular “Marrying the TV Show to the Comics” #1? These are my favorites for sure. I’m just so happy that I can experience them before the “Never Before Done Event” #1! Let me be clear: I love these books. ‘Is he serious? I can’t tell.’ I am, truly. ‘I don’t believe him.’ You shouldn’t. ‘So you hate them.’ Was that a question? ‘I can’t do this anymore. I have to leave now. I’m not sure what exactly is going on here and if I want to continue down this road.’ Suit yourself, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t. These books are GREAT!! Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com. Get all your Marvel p

Here we are again! We find ourselves on the brink of the precipice of the razor between greatness and disaster! Where have we been? Where are we going? Where did this all come from? YOU WILL KNOW!! YOU WILL FIND OUT!!! The meaning that is in the M6P awards and what it all means and where it all is smooshed up against the wall. That’s right! You will walk away from this stage holding high your Marvey, as we like to call them. Yep, the Marvel 616 Politics awards show—arguably the best awards show on the planet….who am I kidding? The best one in the universe! The multiverse, even. Well, at least the 616! Can you guess what the best issue of 2014 was? Who will win this prestigious award? And who is Jarid that he can give them out like candy to infants? Listen and find out! Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com. Get all your Marvel pre-orders for 40% off cover price. They even have specials and clearance issues for up to 70% off! And don't

What does Christmas mean to you? Is it a time where you can get together with your extended Axis of Evil and make merry with your new 'Brotherhood?' Or is it a nightmarish countdown to that dreaded family visit when Time Runs Out? Sometimes I know that I feel like I'm caught in what you might consider a web of lies and dispair. "No, no...I didn't forget about you. I just got caught up with all the yule tide and the fudge and the egg nog and the cakey treats of Christmassy goodness........yes, I forgot about you." Sometimes I find myself in so many webs of lies that it would be like a spidery mess of the universe--a Spider-verse, if you will. (Was that one too much? I can never tell.)

You can't imagine how often I sit back and fall into my comfortable day dreams about what could have been. Oh, if only I had made this choice instead of that. If Jarid had approached me about the podcast instead of the other way around. If I had Jarid's X-Men knowledge instead of my own skill of survival and astro-physics. Where would I be? As I sit and wonder, my dreams and aspirations always collide into one single thought. Andy taking up the mantle of Jarid. That's right! Much like the likeable and iconic Falcon naturally taking the role of the 'Star-Spangled Hero,' Andy is destined to become the carefree, amazing-haired, child-hating diva that is The Mayo! Sure, listeners won't like it for a while, but hey...SCREW 'EM! We need some change and we need to mash it down your throats! You, the audience, will learn to love how I despise the nuisance of double-ply toilet paper. And the agony of eating every two hours. You will learn to enjoy the nuance of working on the Facebooks from the comfort of

Boy oh boy! Can the Marvel editorial group throw some nonsense at us, or what? I've seen a lot of interesting things in my day, but nothing as meaninglessly action packed as a devil-horned Red Skull battling a newly winged Captain America for days on end while Magneto raises an army of very strange supervillains...you know, because the Sentinels that Tony Stark made that he didn't know about can only fight super heroes (not villains). Because...you remember...during Civil War, Tony made Sentinels....right? RIGHT? I don't know, bro. It sounds like it's a mixture of retconning and contrivance. Or maybe just a strange, poorly written event. Not really sure which. YOU DECIDE!

Now there's really no good reason that we should keep reading comics. Prices are skyrocketing, Wolverine is dying, time is running out, and Deadpool is jumping the shark with his own movie. But, through sheer power of will, we march on toward a point of decision. To the axis of this world and that. Pure torture of our mind as our heroes come to the edge of their respective universes. I can only tell you to "Hang On, True Believers!" For this day is not the enemies. NO! This day is not for those of the Red Skull or his S-Men or the Hobgoblin or Nick the Furious or Morlun. NO! This day is ours! For the reader and the patriot and the cub scout and the Houdini's and the rest of this mad mad mad mad world! For this day, time does NOT run out! We are NOT on the edge of the universe! We will NOT see Logan die! And we will NOT hear the drumbeat of this march toward the mystery that is anarchy and fascism! We will rise up on the wings and souls of those comic characters long forgotten. For those Golia

Soooooo...I always come on here every time we put an episode out and just write whatever comes to mind and then try to link it to the show somehow. This little excerpt of my life truly is a glimpse into all that I hold dear as a person. This is my creative outlet, my ongoing work of nonfiction...my Mona Lisa, if you will. And that's why things are going to change around here. Yep! Things...they are a-changin'. Yes, sir! A brand new day! I day of pondering and reflecting. A day of showing my true self to the world. A day of drinking from the firehose of inspiration, of sitting near the bush, of letting it all show through. Of living my life as an agent of the night. As a spector of things to come. As a man in white--riding on a care and a wing--roaming through the city with a straightened tie and a mask to show who I really am. Because the face I was born with is not who I am! The life I am living is NOT my life. It is the reverse of time and space as I am truly being REAL to you right now! My

We often times idolize those that we look up to. But sometimes when we really get to know that person, we see that they are just a regular guy...or a average Joe...the CHILD-HATING MONSTER that we didn't know that we idolized. It's TRUE, I HEARD THE WHOLE THING!!!! One (if not both) of our hosts totally don't like kids and would rather live a long self-fulfilling life full of other people's children. What will we do with all this free time? Isn't it obvious? CUDDLE!!!!! That's right! We will CUDDLE while listening to Tina and doing the (patent-pending) Tina Mayo Workouts. We will CUDDLE while Jennifer takes her daily two hour naps. We will CUDDLE while we drown broken bunnies and nurse runts back to health. We will CUDDLE as we sit on the couch and correct Andy's misinformation about the Marvel U. We will CUDDLE while we play cards and guess animals and watch Charade and play charades and drink energy drinks and eat every two hours and workout once a day and read Storm comics and post on Facebook

I can't wait for SDCC! Every year I stand on line (that's in line on the internet...or if you are "across the pond" it's just on line--like "on que") "Why would they stand on a Chinese haircut?" No, that's 'on queue.' "That's what I said, 'on queue.'" No, no, you said 'on queue;' I said 'on que.' You have too many vowels. "You know that's right! I vow this day to stand with thee in the midst of thine ordained conflict. To mend thee right and beseech thy every command." Stop. "I vow, thee good prince, to have at thine enemies from within and without. To stand hither and thither in the quick of battle and the heat of the queue--as we stand on line for thine tickets to enter thine dominion of nerd." THAT'S ENOUGH! Good grief, you ruin everything. I'm just trying to tell people about the news. "I vow on the honor of my less than beauteous unwed sister, to not produce a noose that shall entangle they sublimous lock of hair...in a small oriental-style ponytial....you know, a queue!" OH FOR THE LOVE

There are a lot of times that this comic book podcast delves into the realm of the politics. "Hey, what do you expect? The P stands for Politics." Yes, yes, I know. But what you may not know is that a lot of our listeners thrive on this stuff and crave the more social and political aspects of our podcast. "I already know that, moron. Wasn't your show founded on relating comics to the cultural and socio-economic events of our present time?" You could say that. But we also talk about family and God and country and pools and ice cream and flying and the Infinity Formula as well as other very important issues like love and children and friendship and killing little, cute bunnies in the most humane way possible. "What are you trying to tell me, here?" What I'm trying to say is that sometimes there is more to life than just comics. "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SURELY YOU JEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" No, I'm quite serious right now. "Ize cutchoo holmes!!!" OUCH!!! Get off of me! Stop biting my neck! What's the mat

I can honestly say that I'm discouraged. I mean it. I'm saddened by the state of affairs that I have witnessed and speculate to witness in the near and long-term future of the 616 universe. MY UNIVERSE!! I mean, the Hulk is brain-dead. Daredevil is outed. Black Widow is trying to redeem herself. And Spider-Man is actually Peter now?!?!?!?! How much can they torture me with their wanton use of colorful metaphor that is today's movie-goer? Wait...sorry. I am mixing my similies. AnyWHO!!!! The short of it is that someone owes me an apology! I demand it. I DEMAND IT!! Apologize dern it! Apologize for your time travel nonsense! Apologize for destroying a whole universe in a box!! Apologize for your secondary and tertiary mutations!! Apologize for your intelligence and catestrophic use of the word 'garters'!!! Oh..oh my....I think I know who I'm really mad at. Well, that's revealing. I...I'm just feeling so blue. Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DC

Jarid and I talk often about our physical health, and why shouldn't we? It's good to be healthy. But it's not good to be obsessed about your weight. I mean, it's just a number, right? It doesn't really mean anything. When I'm sitting there watching X-Men Days of Future Past slurping up a gallon of health smoothy filled with sherbet and yogurt and peanut butter and natural non-fat sweetener why in the world would I need to watch my weight? Well, I'm here to tell you that as I sat and watched that end-credit scene of those poor, smoothy-starved slaves watching that pyramid be built all I could think about was how they must be sooooo thirsty...and hungry. Don't forget hungry (as I chomped down on my mini-van sized popping corn). Those poor people. But, hey, it's just a number right? No one wants to have elephant thighs (as Jarid so callously calls them). But I digress. The point of my story is that as soon as I saw that blue-hued young man and those four men on horses...I think they're called 'horsey

The connection that we have to these fictional characters runs deep. Our love and world is shaped by the interaction that we have for them and how we dream our dreams built on the inspiration they provide......wait, what? We're talking about comic books, right? Are you insane? Are you really that lonely that your life experiences are built on how you see these made up characters interact with each other? DUH, YEAH!!!!! I mean, everybody needs friends, right? Here, let me show you my collection of Spider-Dolls made up of my favorite dead bunny's fur. (Wow, this really went south quick). Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com. Get all your Marvel pre-orders for 40% off cover price. They even have specials and clearance issues for up to 70% off! And don't forget their sister site, InStockTrades.com. All orders over $50 are free shipping. We are also sponsored by Community Retail Partnership. Sign up to get discounts on all your Office Depot sup

There comes a time in almost everyone's life where we just have to stop pretending. We always seem to put on our best socks and smile to meet that special someone's parents...but that doesn't change how smelly our feet and unsightly our dead tooth really is. Well, today, you will witness one of those times. It's not a flattering time for our co-host Andy. In fact it is shameful. To the point where Jarid apologizes for how badly Andy performed on this episode. I don't want to totally spoil it for you, yet the sweet sweet victory that Jarid experiences will make even Mr. Fear shiver down to his toes. Goodnight sweet prince! Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com. Get all your Marvel pre-orders for 40% off cover price. They even have specials and clearance issues for up to 70% off! And don't forget their sister site, InStockTrades.com. All orders over $50 are free shipping. We are also sponsored by Community Retail Partnership. Sign up to get di

Seriously, just skip this episode. I don't even know why we're putting it out. Jarid is forcing me to do this. The guy's a taskmaster...not the cool one that just bit it in Secret Avengers...before the reboot. No, not that one. Jarid is the kind of guy that forces his best friend to drive 14 hours from Louisiana to Ohio and then forces him to drive another 11 hours to and from Chicago, quizzing him about Spider-Man lore all along the way, just to get in front of a camera to tell a little bit about how Spider-Man has touched our lives...only in the superficial sense though. NO REAL EMOTIONS ALLOWED!! That's right! You heard me, NO EMOTIONS! I HATE YOU, SPIDEY!!!....notreallyItakeitbackDon'thatemeforeverSpider-ManYoubastianofallthatisgood! Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com and their sister site, InStockTrades.com. All orders over $50 are free shipping. We are also sponsored by CRPSavings.com. Sign up to get discounts on all your Office Depo

Honesty is very underrated in today's society. It is something that here at M6P we value beyond all else (even if it is spewing overt hatred and pretentious right-wing blather)! I mean, just look at Jarid--the man is a walking incarnate of Nicolae Ceaușescu. (Is that bad that I'm using an example I know nothing about except that one time he was mentioned on Seinfeld when he was dating the gymnast? No telling. But I digress.) "Honesty." That's a word I like to throw around when I want to spout off my opinion inappropriately. I think that I have a problem facing the fact that sometimes it is just not the right time to speak my mind. Hey, I'm just being honest here. People have different opinions, right? And there's nothing wrong with that, right? WRONG!!! If you don't like social progress or Freedom Fries then you are asking for a toilet papering of epic proportions...the bad kind! (Not that triple-ply ninny pansy-boy stuff neither!) Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We ar

As the year fades into the ever-growing whispers of History, the Marvel 616 Politics hosts would like to officially commemorate the passing of greatness with our humble awards and predictions. In honor of this event, we have desperately tried to suspend any bickering and set aside any broken promises that either of us have within our hearts. (This has been tough, believe you me, but we move forward.) We have waited all year for this moment in time and desperately want to share it with you. By the way, there could be contained within this episode the first time that we have ever picked a Tina Award that was not actually a Tina Turner song....we're....we're still trying to confirm that. Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com and their sister site, InStockTrades.com. All orders over $50 are free shipping. We are also sponsored by CRPSavings.com. Sign up to get discounts on all your Office Depot supplies. So until next time, make yours Marvel 616 Poli

Jarid and I have reached a point in our "on-again, off-again" relationship where we are comfortable saying that we are two different people. We are not co-dependent on each other. We don't need each others' approval. We have an open and honest relationship. No one needs to have to must to agree on anything. In fact, we basically dispise each other's being to the root of our inner soul. But...we're fine with that. We may disagree here and there about silly things like the new uniforms, whether Scott was right in irradicating the scum that was Professor X from the planet or whether the New Warriors really is a super team worth looking at; but at the very heart of the matter it all comes down to the fact that....Jarid is an IDIOT!!! I mean COME ON! How can you NOT like the Punisher? And those uniforms are FANTASTIC!!!! And Kitty Pryde is HANDS DOWN the best X-Men right now! And Monet is AMAZING! And anyone other than Carol that has the mantle of Ms. Marvel DOES deserve to die!!!!! I feel us growing

But let's be honest. We are jerks. But it's not just us. I think that jerkism is just a symptom of our culture...nay, humanity. We are all jerks in our own way. Not giving back the money when the cashier gives you too much change: JERK! Making someone cry at work: JERK! Not picking up that candy wrapper that hit the wind just right right as it hit the edge of the trash can in that pretty park and is now part of the ever-growing problem that is litter: JERK! Telling your podcasting partner that he has a weight problem: JERK! Telling your podcasting partner that he's an idiot for not remembering to invoice the sponsors: JERK! Giving your podcasting partner a "strike" because he didn't necessarily like the 20+ year old Tina song that he sent you for the 50th time this week: JERK! (It really could be either one of us at this point, let's be honest.) Whatever the case is we are all jerks in our own way. The question then becomes what do you do with that knowledge....with that...Power. Because w

Things get a little heated on the show when we bring up the topic of politics! It should be no surprise that that Libertarian fiend has no problem going and clubbin' the baby seals like they were made of candy from a rainbow of half-eaten unicorns. And it also should be no surprise that that tree-hugging Osamabot thinks that we should all pay for our own food! COME ON!!!! What is this country coming too? AND Elektra gets her own series?!?!?!?!?!? Now seems as good a time as any to mention our sponsors. We are sponsored by DCBService.com and their sister site, InStockTrades.com. All orders over $50 are free shipping and with our Promotional Code you can save an extra 8%. It's one time use only marvelpol8 We are also sponsored by CRPSavings.com. Sign up to get discounts on all your Office Depot supplies. So until next time, make yours Marvel 616 Politics.