Guycast

Strap in. What begins as a standard recap of animal escapes from New York zoos and such, but culminates with one of our favorite stories from our mispent youth. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Phoenix is back from the brink of death. Charlie Sheen continues on his warpath. Tristan made it back from PAX East. And Japan is falling into the god damn ocean. And Gilbert Gotfried loast his job as the voice of a cartoon duck because of some jokes. Way to go, pussies.

This one may have been better enjoyed in the days following Charlie Sheen's epic public meltdown. In the weeks following, maybe not so much. I'm gonna go ahead and take a shot and say by the time you hear this, he's dead. And this comedy is no longer in good taste.

Our Post superbowl show. Wow...This late posting has really gotten out of hand hasn't it... My Bad.

We talk a little about why nice guys suck, and Charlie Sheen helps illustrate our point. Susan joins us to talk about why girls hate everyone. And the Superbowl is this weekend. But really, who gives a fuck?

Sony has "launched" their new portable gaming system. And by "launched" I mean "Let the awesomeness of it's features wash over us for a few weeks" before announcing that it's "going to be powered by a small nuclear battery and cost a billion dollars". Wait, that last part shouldn't have been in quotes. Because that's actually true.

I have written and re-written what was meant to go in this space at least 5 times now, and I realized. It's just not that important. So this, instead of my ramblings, I present to you the first entry that comes up when you search for "Blowjob Joke" in google: One sperm says to the other: "How far is it to the ovaries?" The other one replies: "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

The word is in, and dozens of pictures of guys balls have found their way to Jeff's phone. Please do not stop this. If I die tomorrow and the only thing I contributed to society is that Jeff gets pictures of sack sent to his phone for the next decade, I'll consider it a life well spent.

Look. I'm gonna level with you. I've been trying to put together shows for the last hour, and watch The Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia at the same time. This shit ain't happening, cuz this film is completely out of hand. I'm sure this episode was good. Just enjoy it, along with the embeded picture of this hot cowgirl chick, and then go watch that movie. Immediately.

What's in a word. If that word is faggot. Apparently a lot. Today the boys discuss a point that originated on The Joe Rogan podcast. It's not the first time a point like this was discussed, and the last time we discussed it in regards to the N word, a very nice man called in and threatened to kill my dog, I think. This should go well. Oh, and Mexico is an abandoned Hell hole.

Sometimes the journalists of our times get it right. They ask all the right questions. They probe and followup in a way that gets all the answers. But sometimes, they don't ask the important shit. That's where we come in. I mean, that's where they came in. The miners, I mean. Just listen.

This is not a joke. You need to send picture messages of your balls to that number. 410-570-4714. Your balls, your friends balls, your girlfriends balls. It doesn't matter. Or just call and tell him to suck your balls, I don't care. The point is, he must be punished for what he has done.

Tristan and Fenix disagree about the importance of big hits and football. Fenix is clearly wrong. And it's good to be the one who writes the show descriptions.

Susan brings over a couple of her lady friends to sit in for this week. And they pull no punches. Not sure about the audio quality on this one, but we had a good time, and that's really all that matters, isn't it?

This is a weird one.  It starts out incredibly nerdy, discussing the oddities of the universe and our own mortality, etc. And then we take a break. And things get awkward. The explanation lies within. Enjoy.

We had a couple of requests for this one, so we put it up anyway. Might be interesting to listen to who we thought made good picks, now that we're 6 weeks into the season...

The NFL has begun again, and between that and the release of Halo:Reach, we haven’t really done a whole lot with our lives lately. Oh wait. Absolutely nothing has changed.

When I think back at all the computers that have failed during the short and illustrious lifespan of our show, I do nothing but shake my head and cry. I guess what I’m saying here is the hard drive on my computer failed. We saved the show, but the file that tells me what we talked about is gone. And I can’t remember a thing. Hope it doesn’t suck...

So it starts off nice. Fantasy Football. The Guycast Dick Sucking Weight Loss Challenge begins. And then it just goes to terrible, terrible places.