I Have To Ask

Are you stuck in a hair rut? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Alana Lucia Balestrino, hairstylist, barber, and founder of the Brooklyn-based studio Baddies. Alana explains how to work with a stylist or barber to get a haircut you love.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Dress with Confidence. Also: Decoder Ring’s Mystery of the Mullet.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access

A man delivers an unforgettable pickup line. A woman asks her Uber driver out on a date. A rancher swears off men and then, years later, suddenly develops feelings for the guy down the road. This week, listeners share offline dating stories for the ages, including charming meet-cutes, frustrating missed connections, and happily ever afters.  We also hear from Maxine Simone Williams, founder of WeMetIRL, a company that hosts in-person dating events in Brooklyn, NY.  To learn more about our Uber driver love story, check out this marriage announcement in the New York Times!  Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can f

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy talk about clothes. This listener’s six-and-a-half-year-old is super particular about what he wants to wear… and it’s making school mornings really hard. We’ll talk about how to accommodate the pickiness while also not derailing the start of your day. And then, we’ll circle up for a round of checkins… and on Slate Plus, we’re talking about teen joy. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Zak’s checkin: self-defense against 4-year-olds Elizabeth’s checkin: all bamboo everything Lucy’s checkin: birthday gift politics Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground ev

In this episode, Jenée is joined by Brittany Luse — the host of NPR’s It’s Been a Minute. Together, they answer questions from a reader distraught that their fiance won’t stop publishing smutty fiction about real-life historical figures, another unsure what to do after her husband stole a $500 bottle of wine from their friends’ dinner party, a spooked listener who can’t get over how much she looks like her boyfriend’s dead wife, and a daughter trying to break it to her mom that her choice to live child-free isn’t a result of some unknown childhood trauma.  Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Came

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy help a listener decide whether she’s done having kids. No pressure, right?  But seriously: this listener has three little boys and is weighing the possibility of a fourth kid. There’s more love for her and her husband to give… but they’re also feeling burnt out. So how do you decide what to do?     After that, of course, we’ll circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus –

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim check in with the “Caveman Skincare” method and they pour one out for Skype. Then, they dive into the internet controversy surrounding a TikTok running influencer and White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt. Kate Mackz is the host of a TikTok series called The Running Interview Show where she jogs with celebrities. Last week, Mackz — who up until this point, did not discuss politics much on her page — interviewed Leavitt for the series and it ended up creating a huge controversy. ICYMI breaks down Kate and Karoline’s video and why this collaboration was a possible failed attempt at being apolitical. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At least 10 percent of parents in the U.S. are disabled, but Andrea can’t seem to find parenting advice on disability and accessibility. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice, author of the new book Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World, to help Andrea reimagine parenthood.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Date With a Disability and How To Become a Parent Overnight.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top

Isabel Allende didn’t publish her first book until she was 39, after losing nearly everything in the wake of the Chilean military coup. More than four decades later, she’s become one of the most beloved Spanish-language authors, with over 80 million copies of her books sold worldwide. After political exile, writing books became Allende’s way of making sense of the world. She wrote through divorce, affairs, and moving across continents. But after the devastating loss of her daughter Paula, even writing felt impossible, until her mother urged her to begin again. “My mother knew that the only way for me to walk the tunnel of grief was writing,” she says. In this episode, Anna and Isabel talk about loss, late starts, and new beginnings. Isabel met her most recent husband, Roger, in her late 70s, “an age when most people are knitting for their great-grandchildren.” Allende’s newest novel, “My Name Is Emilia del Valle,” is out now.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues,

On this episode: Zak, Jamilah and producer Maura talk about how to navigate friendships with people who have more, or fewer, kids than you do. A member of the Slate Parenting Facebook group is wondering how it’s on her and her husband to plan everything… even though they have three kids, and a lot of their friends don’t have any. And then, we’ll circle up for a round of recommendations… and on Slate Plus, we’ll answer some frequently asked questions about how we make the show. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Jamilah recommends: Curlfriends Maura recommends: A Roomba Zak recommends: Khan Academy Kids Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members

While J.K. Rowling celebrates a new UK ruling that classifies “women” as biologically female, casting for the upcoming HBO Max adaptation is underway. Which fans have stuck by the series despite the author’s views, and will others be able to resist the siren call of a brand new TV series? Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay welcome ICYMI’s new producer Vic Whitley-Berry to talk about their feelings of betrayal watching the creator of their childhood favorite series incessantly target trans people online and publicly back anti-trans campaigns. Then, we’re joined by pop culture expert and YouTuber Princess Weekes, who shares her experience helping readers “deconstruct” from the Harry Potter fandom. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jenée is joined by Daria Burke – an award winning business leader, board director, and author. Together, they answer questions from a listener unsure whether to invite their feuding friends to a party next month, a CPA figuring out how to climb the corporate ladder without a defined job title, a daughter contemplating hosting a sober Easter to account for her mother’s inappropriate drunk behavior, and a listener scared she might become de facto babysitter to her pregnant sister.  Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Cameron Drews. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphon

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Jamilah answer a question about how to throw a birthday party for older kids. This member of the Slate Parenting Facebook community knows how to throw a good party for little kids… but teens are a whole different thing. So, we’ll offer up some suggestions for how to celebrate a quiet, nerdy 15-year-old.  And after that, we’ll talk about some other frequently-asked birthday questions — and share what we think makes for a good birthday party for kids and parents alike.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break down the drama surrounding an influencer’s new book that has kicked off a whole controversy before it’s even been released. Christina Najjar, better known as Tinx, has made a successful career as a TikTok influencer who doles out dating advice to her more than 1.5 million followers. Her new book is a summer beach read following an influencer who escapes to the Hamptons after getting canceled. But TikTok creators have been suspicious leading up to the book’s release because Tinx, up to this point, has identified as a straight woman, and her novel revolves around a queer romance. Additionally, some creators believe Tinx might’ve used a ghostwriter, who is a queer writer herself. Therefore, who gets to tell which stories in traditional publishing? And what is the specific betrayal some people feel when influencers use ghostwriters? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm

Our series Living at Odds concludes with a special episode of Slate’s Death, Sex & Money. Host Anna Sale returns to her native West Virginia to talk with the state’s only full-time lobbyist for LGBTQ rights. Andrew Schneider of Fairness West Virginia has spent years cultivating working relationships with conservative allies in state and local government. Aided by those relationships, Andrew helped pass 20 local anti-discrimination ordinances across the conservative-leaning state. Now, those policy victories—and Andrew’s alliances—are facing dire challenges in an increasingly hostile political landscape. Plus: How To!’s Courtney Martin looks back at Living at Odds, a series about what holds us together when so much threatens to break us apart. If you enjoyed this series, check out: How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power or How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001

In West Virginia, Republicans hold one of the largest supermajorities in the country, and it’s growing. Just 11 Democrats — down from 14 last year — are in the 134-member Legislature. It's a political reality that isn't necessarily conducive to advancing LGBTQ rights. But that's Andrew Schneider's job. As head of Fairness West Virginia, Andrew has spent a decade as the only full-time lobbyist at the state capitol working on LGBTQ issues. His approach? Winning people over through listening rather than confrontation, a strategy he developed in college when he purposely chose a conservative campus to practice changing minds. "I quickly realized that if I sat back and let someone talk to me and did not jump in and judge, they would trust me and we could actually have a meaningful conversation where ultimately I could inject my views," Andrew said. In this episode we talk to Andrew, and political leaders in West Virginia whom he’s lobbied, about his relational approach to getting through issues that matter to h

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy take a question about how to handle birthday money. This parent’s son wants to buy some stuff in a video game, and while it feels like a waste… it IS also his money. So we’ll talk about whether this parent really needs to intervene.  And then, we’ll circle up for a round of checkins… and on Slate Plus, we’ll vent about the end-of-the-school-year frenzy. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Zak’s check-in: snark! Elizabeth’s check-in: we kept it together! Lucy’s check-in: calm (on the surface)! Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole a

J.D. Vance killed the Pope. Demi Lovato keeps their twin Poot locked in the basement. Lea Michele still can’t read. These things, unfortunately, aren’t true, and are instead just some of the inside jokes the internet has decided to collectively agree on over the years. In this episode, Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break these internet lies down, and ask: Why do we make these jokes, and what happens when an inside joke breaks containment?  This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jenée is joined by Willa Paskin, the host of Slate’s podcast Decoder Ring. Together, they answer questions from a listener hoping their sister will “gain sanity” to leave her husband soon, another from a self proclaimed girls’ girl who can’t stop getting into disagreements with other women at work, a step-mother wondering if it’s time to “step up” and defend her husband’s ex-wife to their children, and “the pickiest eater on earth” wondering whether their food habits are impacting their professional relationships.  Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Cameron Drews. Learn more about

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy answer a letter about parenting a kid through a toxic relationship… and more specifically, a girlfriend’s toxic mom. Our letter-writer is trying to balance respecting her son’s first serious relationship with wanting to protect him from some really nasty behavior. And after that, of course, we’ll circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay run through the lows of Coachella, before breaking down a lawsuit against one of the festival’s most visible e-commerce brands, Revolve. Earlier this month, Revolve was hit with a $50 million class-action lawsuit accusing them of deceiving more than 1 million customers using social media marketing tactics. The lead plaintiff named three influencers as co-defendants, saying they didn’t disclose that Revolve paid them for sponsored posts and had she known the posts were sponsored, she would not have purchased clothing from them. Does this case have merit, which past influencers have gotten in trouble for similar mistakes, and what does it say about our sponcon literacy today? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices