I Have To Ask

On this episode: Lucy, Zak, and Elizabeth respond to a letter from a parent who wants their six-year-old to be more helpful, but every small request turns into a debate. How can caregivers encourage a spirit of contribution without forcing it? But first, we’ll circle up for a round of check-ins—bras, birthdays, and babysitter drama. And on Slate Plus, we’re talking about what to do when a child’s nature rubs up against a parent’s values. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim discuss the latest in Labubu-land, from a TikTok blackface controversy to leaving one on an iconic anti-capitalist’s grave. Then, they dive into the growing trend of fanfiction getting a big marketing push from the publishing world. From Ali Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis starting as Reylo fanfic to Julie Soto basing her latest novel on a Dramione ship, traditional publishing is reaching into the channels of AO3, Tumblr, and Wattpad to find their next big hit. But what do we lose when our favorite fanfictions get taken mainstream? And is it good or bad for the community they originated from? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Vi

Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame. Dr. Wheeler’s Resources and Recommendations Sarah’s ADHD story Sarah’s Substack and podcast More about Sarah and her work Joan Wilder’s site Help for Women with ADHD Salif Muhamane’s Ted Talk, “ADHD Sucks, But Not Really” Kate Weber’s Women & ADHD podcast You’ve Always Been This Way: “Hello, I’m New Here,” by McSweeney’s columnist Taylor Harris Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It) How can Ho

Evan Osnos has spent nearly his whole life observing the habits, values, and norms of the wealthy elite, from his childhood in suburban Connecticut to the years he spent reporting on the mega-yachts and underground bunkers of the U.S.’s richest citizens.  This week, he talks to Anna about his new book The Haves and Have-Yachts: Dispatches on the Ultrarich, and they get specific about what the most powerful people in the world value and what keeps them up at night. Evan is a staff writer at The New Yorker and is a co-host of The New Yorker’s podcast The Political Scene.   This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen. If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can f

On this episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah respond to a listener's question about how families handle the growing demands on kids’ time—and how working parents try to protect space for rest, school, and family connection. Then, they’ll circle up for a round of check-ins, sharing wins, struggles, and the everyday chaos of balancing life. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by writer and senior editor at Playboy Magazine, Magdalene Taylor, to talk about Tea. The app for women to crowdsource any “red flags” about the men they’re dating was hacked shortly after it hit #1 on the Apple Lifestyle app chart. Now, the private information of thousands of women has been shared across 4Chan and Twitter, all thanks to a platform that was supposed to keep them safe. But was Tea even a good idea in the first place?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah respond to a letter from a parent of young kids who’s worried that when it really matters—her children just won’t listen. How do you teach safety, boundaries, and urgency to kids under 5... without fear or yelling? The hosts talk about authority, instinct, and what actually works in high-stakes parenting moments. But first, we’ll circle up for a round of triumphs and fails: Zak’s week of solo parenting, Elizabeth’s trip to Mongolia, and Jamilah’s New York summer. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim run through some updates following the Coldplay concert cheating scandal, and why Astronomer’s latest PR stunt is hitting them differently. Then, they surprise each other with two stories from different sides of the internet. First, what’s going on with this fake TikTok cult that possibly involves animal sacrifices, skin carvings, and questionable leadership? And who is Jessie Murph, the pseudo-country singer whose recent performance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon has the internet questioning whether her lyrics are satirical or regressive? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Psssst. You didn’t hear this from me, but gossiping—can be good for you! … our series on embracing your inner antihero wraps—for now—with a guilty pleasure: gossiping. Normal Gossip host (and beloved former Slatester) Rachelle Hampton sits down with How To!’s Carvell Wallace to dish on the right way to gossip, the link between whisper networks and safety, and the importance of leaving no receipts.  This conversation concludes—for now!—our miniseries on embracing your inner antihero. Check out our episodes on How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge and How To Be an Ethical Hater.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode was produced by Sophie Summergrad. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus!

N.D. Austin is not an event planner. He designs experiences, which he says are supposed to leave you feeling transformed. He’s designed hundreds over the years, from secret sewer speakeasies to coming-of-age rituals on deserted islands, to funeral board games that guide people through decades of memories. In this episode, Anna talks to skateboarding legend Tony Hawk about an experience N.D. designed for Tony’s office that mended friendships on a homemade train. And N.D. tells Anna how growing up in a doomsday cult in Alaska sparked his obsession with performance, ritual and generosity.   Podcast production by Zoe Azulay. Thank you also to Jeremy S. Bloom and Stefan Zeniuk. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so

On this episode: Zak shares a surprising lesson from his kid about being the family comedian. Elizabeth reflects on traveling in places that clearly weren’t built with kids in mind. And Lucy’s become a pickleball obsessive—thanks to a wholesome family showdown. Then: A listener's question about toxic positivity opens up a conversation on how to create space for kids to feel what they feel, without trying to fix or reframe everything. And on Slate Plus, we’re sharing our favorite books and movies for talking to kids about their emotions. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay investigate the disappearance of SylvanianDrama. The creator behind the account gained millions of followers for role-playing salacious narratives with the fuzzy Calico Critters children’s toys, but a copyright lawsuit from the brand itself has threatened the future of the account. Fans of SylvanianDrama are in an uproar, but the story isn’t black and white. Instead, it’s a warning for all of us about how personal posts online could end up paying professional consequences. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, a listener faces an agonizing parenting dilemma: Their beloved dog is old and undergoing risky surgery—and they’re not sure how honest to be with their child about what might happen. Should you keep things upbeat and hopeful? Or give your kid a soft landing pad in case the worst comes true? The hosts unpack how to talk about death when it’s still a maybe, not a certainty. Then in triumphs and fails, Lucy dives a little too deep into her daughter’s love life, Zak regrets letting the kids watch something not-so-age-appropriate, and Elizabeth dials in with travel tales from Mongolia. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab

Kate Lindsay and Candice Lim break down everything that’s happened since a software CEO was caught in a suspicious position with his co-worker at a Coldplay concert. From Chris Martin’s viral dialogue to the dearth of content emerging from this story, they run through the tenets of a monocultural moment and debunk the misinformation that has transpired alongside this scandal. Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our series on embracing your inner antihero continues with a look at superheroes who definitely don’t wear capes: ethical haters. Slate culture writer Scaachi Koul sits down with How To!’s Carvell Wallace for a conversation about the power of haterade—and why “hating up” distinguishes ethical haters from run-of-the-mill, establishment negativity. Links Mentioned:  Sucker Punch by Scaachi Koul Scaachi’s Substack, Hater Nation Banal Nightmare by Halle Butler Scamfluencers Missed our first installment? Check out How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge. Next week: How to gossip! (But we didn’t tell you that...) How are you exploring your inner antihero? How can we help you? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. This episode was produced by Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising produce

Brendan Paul co-owns the Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, which claims to be the site of the world's first Elvis-themed wedding. Dressed in sparkly jumpsuits, Brendan marries sometimes as many as 75 people a day—in back to back 15-minute appointments. But while his portrayal of Elvis is generally a jovialone, his view on The King's life isn't entirely one of reverence. "That loneliness, that despair, that unsatisfied inside," he told me about Elvis near the end of his life. "A lot people go, 'I bet you wish you were Elvis,' and I always go, 'Not really.'" This episode originally aired in 2022 in collaboration with Condé Nast Traveler and their new love and travel series. Read more about Brendan and find other essays about love and travel here. You can hear our 2022 listener style episode about weddings and budgets here— Bells and Bills: The Price You Paid For Your Wedding  Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus!

Brendan Paul co-owns the Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, which claims to be the site of the world's first Elvis-themed wedding. Dressed in sparkly jumpsuits, Brendan marries sometimes as many as 75 people a day—in back to back 15-minute appointments. But while his portrayal of Elvis is generally a jovialone, his view on The King's life isn't entirely one of reverence. "That loneliness, that despair, that unsatisfied inside," he told me about Elvis near the end of his life. "A lot people go, 'I bet you wish you were Elvis,' and I always go, 'Not really.'" This episode originally aired in 2022 in collaboration with Condé Nast Traveler and their new love and travel series. Read more about Brendan and find other essays about love and travel here. You can hear our 2022 listener style episode about weddings and budgets here— Bells and Bills: The Price You Paid For Your Wedding  Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus!

This week on Care & Feeding, a listener writes in with a question that tugs at the heart: Their five-year-old daughter—an only child, growing up in a rural area—is asking for a sibling. But more than that, she’s asking for connection, companionship, someone to play with. The hosts unpack the emotional weight behind the ask, and explore how parents can foster deep social bonds for solo kids—especially when playdates, cousins, and neighbor kids are hard to come by. Plus, Elizabeth opens up about her experience on Dr. Lindsay Cavanagh’s Married After Kids podcast, and Lucy reflects on the joys of volunteering with kids.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week f

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by New York Times reporter and former ICYMI host Madison Malone Kircher to break down the internet history of Jojo Siwa. The 22-year-old got her start on Dance Moms over ten years ago, and has gone on to be a singer, performer, and serial reality TV show contestant. During this time she came out as queer, and attempted to have her own Miley Cyrus Bangerz rebrand. Now, with a new single and a new boyfriend, Jojo is entering yet another era, prompting the question: Who is Jojo Siwa, anyway? This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay, with help from Benjamin Frisch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on Care & Feeding, Elizabeth and Lucy respond to a listener wondering how to help their child—and themselves—prepare for the leap to middle school. The hosts share practical tips and emotional insights on everything from shifting friendships to growing independence, academic pressure, and those moments when your once-chatty kid starts speaking in shrugs. They unpack how to build trust without hovering, how to guide without gripping too tight, and why middle school can feel like both a beginning and an ending for parents, too. Plus: Reflections on the emotional weight of parenting costs, and a conversation about how the world needs to make more room for kids just being kids. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plu