I Have To Ask

‘Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It’s also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week’s listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an event that meets a need with the right rules and the right guest list. She even has tips for sprucing up your next holiday party.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Cook One Perfect Meal.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.   If you enjoy this show, please consider signing

Victor’s job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he’s plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Uproot Your Life.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn’t written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble, was one of the hottest books of the year. Can she help Lauren finally put pen to paper? The first thing Lauren needs to do, Taffy says, is stop journaling, and start writing. And then keep writing: “You can't get to the good sentences if you don't write the bad ones first.” Next, find a trusted reader, not a cheerleader, to give you honest feedback. And when doubt begins to creep in again, look at the writers you admire and simply ask, “Why them and not me?” Do you have a problem that needs a solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get

Today we’re going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, is back to provide some insightful post-game analysis. In this second episode of our special two-part series, she breaks down what went well, what got a little messy, and what we can all apply to our own conversations with loved ones.  Listen to the first part of our series: “How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1” If you liked this episode, you might also like: “How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leav

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. In the first of a special two-part episode on talking politics with our parents, Mónica teaches Jenn and Todd how to aim for understanding with their dad, not agreement. Next week, Jenn, Todd, and their dad Bruce will put these tips into practice—on mic—around the kitchen table, as Mónica provides post-game analysis. We’ll dive into what worked, what got a little messy, and how to keep making progress. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holi

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She’s also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children’s haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To!, we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle reflex in time for Halloween? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever vacationed on the beaches of Delaware, chances are you drove right by Smyrna. It’s a small but charming town that’s been bypassed by the main highways. Which is why Mike, a small business owner on the town council, wants to create a spectacular, engaging roadside attraction to tempt tourists into town. The only snag? He doesn’t know what to actually build. On this episode of How To!, we bring on roadside attraction aficionado Erika Nelson. She’s the creator of The World’s Largest Collection of the World’s Smallest Versions of the World’s Largest Things. She’s also an artist who helps towns like Smyrna develop their own car-stopping attractions. She decodes the magic of the most wondrous roadside attractions and explains why hosting a Guinness world record-holding object is not the only key to success. You also have to tell a good story. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Convince People to Give You Money.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang’s closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changing decision in under 60 minutes. It’s true! Nell shows us how we can all uncover what we truly want and then write ourselves permission slips to actually pursue it.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Have Happy Regrets.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive co

The new Interview With the Vampire television series is giving life to a whole new generation of fans who love the human monsters created by the late Anne Rice. On today’s episode of A Word, actor Jacob Anderson talks with Jason Johnson about his role as the reimagined blood sucker, and his career as a singer and sci-fi screen star. Guest: Jacob Anderson Podcast production by Yanii Evans You can skip all the ads in A Word by joining Slate Plus. Sign up now at slate.com/awordplus for just $1 for your first month. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the many things laid bare by COVID-19 was the importance of public health messaging—and the many ways it can fail. So when monkeypox began spreading in the U.S., the White House found someone who understands just how important it is to know your audience.  Guest: Dr. Demetre Daskalakis, White House National Monkeypox Response Deputy Coordinator and former director of the CDC Division of HIV Prevention. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get benefits like zero ads on any Slate podcast, bonus episodes of shows like Slow Burn and Amicus—and you’ll be supporting the work we do here on What Next. Sign up now at slate.com/whatnextplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, Slate senior editor Shannon Palus sits down with writer and political scientist Virginia Eubanks. They talk about Virginia’s New York Times magazine essay , “His PTSD, and My Struggle to Live With It,” and how the condition is more widespread than most people realize, even as terms like “trauma” and “triggered” are tossed around cavalierly. Later in the show, they talk about why you shouldn’t give unsolicited advice to people living with PTSD—and what kind of support caregivers of people with PTSD really need.    In Slate Plus: Why Virginia wanted to write her New York Times essay, and whether the COVID-19 pandemic is, technically speaking, a traumatic event.  Further Recommended Reading: What to Say When Someone Tells You They’re Chronically Ill by Rachel Meeks Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story by Gabriel Mac Podcast production by Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Shannon Palus, Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery. Send your comments and recommendations on what

Despite its fraught history of botched executions, the state of Oklahoma is preparing to begin a 29 month execution spree this week. 25 dates have been set for men with severe mental illness, personal histories of childhood abuse, inadequate legal representation, or claims of innocence. Though these inmates have been deemed "the worst of the worst," activist nun Sister Helen Prejean implores the world to look at fuller pictures of their lives, and seek out an alternative to the death penalty. Guest: Sister Helen Prejean, anti-death penalty activist and author of Dead Man Walking, The Death of Innocents, and River of Fire. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get benefits like zero ads on any Slate podcast, bonus episodes of shows like Slow Burn and Dear Prudence—and you’ll be supporting the work we do here on What Next. Sign up now at slate.com/whatnextplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode of The Waves, the streaming wars have come for us all. The Daily Beast’s Allegra Frank sits down with Inkoo Kang of The Washington Post to talk about what happened at HBO and where gender fits into it all. HBO Max recently canceled the nearly done Batgirl, and has been quietly removing content from its streaming service as it prepares to merge with Discovery+. Allegra and Inkoo talk about how streaming services reducing their content offering likely spells trouble for non-white, non-male voices.  In Slate Plus, is Batman feminist?  Recommendations: Allegra: Never Have I Ever on Netflix Inkoo: The Harley Quinn series on HBO Max   Podcast production by Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Shannon Palus, Alicia Montgomery and Daisy Rosario. Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Swiss Ambassador Jacques Pitteloud moved to Washington DC, his residence was perfect. Too perfect. The Swiss ambassador’s residence sits on six acres on a hill with an awesome view of the Washington Monument. “I was amazed by the beauty of the whole setting…It looked like a golf course and I don't like golf courses… they are ecological disasters,” Ambassador Pitteloud reflected. Together with his gardening team, the Ambassador has transformed the residence into a native oasis. On this episode of How To!, we’re taking a field trip to the Swiss Ambassador’s residence. Ambassador Pitteloud reveals how he brought back his beloved birds and even gave diplomatic immunity to local colonies of bees.  We talked last week with Doug Tallamy, who gave some wonderfully concrete advice on how you can revitalize your local ecosystem with just your yard. Ambassador Pitteloud is a living testament that you can have a meaningful impact with just your yard and he’s impoloring others to follow suit. “Environmental protectio

The quality of dignity is not strained. Judge Victoria Pratt presided for years over Municipal Court in Newark, New Jersey. Her experiences form the foundation of her book, The Power of Dignity: How Transforming Justice Can Heal Our Communities. In the third of Amicus’ summer season of big-picture conversations, Dahlia Lithwick and Judge Pratt explore what everyone, up to and including Supreme Court Justices, can learn from procedural justice, also known as procedural fairness. You can watch Judge Pratt’s viral Ted Talk here. Sign up for Slate Plus now to support our show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know the country is deeply fractured right now, and that’s especially true in our politics. There is vitriol, bitter partisanship and an expectation that in order to succeed you need to beat up on your opponent. So is it possible to fight for your beliefs, remain civil and still win elections? On this episode of How To!, we brought together two politicians from either side of the aisle who are living proof that we can practice politics with humanity. Utah Governor Spencer Cox and Vermont State Senator Becca Balint share how they resist negativity, meaningfully work with the other side, and stick to their values even when they are forced to stand up to their own party.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.

Nate Cohn covers polls and elections at the Upshot at The New York Times. He sits down with Isaac Chotiner to discuss the meaning of Tuesday’s election results, whether Democrats should feel hopeful about the Midwest, and what the numbers tell us about Trump’s odds of being re-elected in 2020. Email: ask@slate.comTwitter: @IHaveToAskPod Podcast production by Max Jacobs. Listen to I Have to Ask via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leon Nayfakh and Andrew Parsons, the men behind Slate’s Slow Burn podcast, sit down with Isaac Chotiner to explain why they decided to take a deep dive into the Clinton scandals, the mechanics of creating a narrative podcast, and what it was like to interview Juanita Broaddrick. Email: ask@slate.comTwitter: @IHaveToAskPod Podcast production by Max Jacobs. Listen to I Have to Ask via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zeynep Tufekci is an author and an expert on social media and fake news. She sits down with Isaac Chotiner to discuss why the business model of the different social media giants is so dangerous, what Mark Zuckerberg refuses to do to fix the fake news problem, and why rightwing news is proliferating on Facebook. Email: ask@slate.comTwitter: @IHaveToAskPod Podcast production by Max Jacobs. Listen to I Have to Ask via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lynsey Addario is a Pulitzer-Prize winning photographer whose work is collected in the new book Of Love And War. She sits down with Isaac Chotiner to discuss life in Afghanistan before 9/11, her abduction in Libya, and why journalists rely on the American government to speak up for press freedom. Email: ask@slate.comTwitter: @IHaveToAskPod Podcast production by Max Jacobs. Listen to I Have to Ask via Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices