I Have To Ask

On this episode: Zak, Jamilah and producer Maura talk about how to navigate friendships with people who have more, or fewer, kids than you do. A member of the Slate Parenting Facebook group is wondering how it’s on her and her husband to plan everything… even though they have three kids, and a lot of their friends don’t have any. And then, we’ll circle up for a round of recommendations… and on Slate Plus, we’ll answer some frequently asked questions about how we make the show. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Jamilah recommends: Curlfriends Maura recommends: A Roomba Zak recommends: Khan Academy Kids Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members

While J.K. Rowling celebrates a new UK ruling that classifies “women” as biologically female, casting for the upcoming HBO Max adaptation is underway. Which fans have stuck by the series despite the author’s views, and will others be able to resist the siren call of a brand new TV series? Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay welcome ICYMI’s new producer Vic Whitley-Berry to talk about their feelings of betrayal watching the creator of their childhood favorite series incessantly target trans people online and publicly back anti-trans campaigns. Then, we’re joined by pop culture expert and YouTuber Princess Weekes, who shares her experience helping readers “deconstruct” from the Harry Potter fandom. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jenée is joined by Daria Burke – an award winning business leader, board director, and author. Together, they answer questions from a listener unsure whether to invite their feuding friends to a party next month, a CPA figuring out how to climb the corporate ladder without a defined job title, a daughter contemplating hosting a sober Easter to account for her mother’s inappropriate drunk behavior, and a listener scared she might become de facto babysitter to her pregnant sister.  Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Cameron Drews. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphon

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Jamilah answer a question about how to throw a birthday party for older kids. This member of the Slate Parenting Facebook community knows how to throw a good party for little kids… but teens are a whole different thing. So, we’ll offer up some suggestions for how to celebrate a quiet, nerdy 15-year-old.  And after that, we’ll talk about some other frequently-asked birthday questions — and share what we think makes for a good birthday party for kids and parents alike.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break down the drama surrounding an influencer’s new book that has kicked off a whole controversy before it’s even been released. Christina Najjar, better known as Tinx, has made a successful career as a TikTok influencer who doles out dating advice to her more than 1.5 million followers. Her new book is a summer beach read following an influencer who escapes to the Hamptons after getting canceled. But TikTok creators have been suspicious leading up to the book’s release because Tinx, up to this point, has identified as a straight woman, and her novel revolves around a queer romance. Additionally, some creators believe Tinx might’ve used a ghostwriter, who is a queer writer herself. Therefore, who gets to tell which stories in traditional publishing? And what is the specific betrayal some people feel when influencers use ghostwriters? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm

Our series Living at Odds concludes with a special episode of Slate’s Death, Sex & Money. Host Anna Sale returns to her native West Virginia to talk with the state’s only full-time lobbyist for LGBTQ rights. Andrew Schneider of Fairness West Virginia has spent years cultivating working relationships with conservative allies in state and local government. Aided by those relationships, Andrew helped pass 20 local anti-discrimination ordinances across the conservative-leaning state. Now, those policy victories—and Andrew’s alliances—are facing dire challenges in an increasingly hostile political landscape. Plus: How To!’s Courtney Martin looks back at Living at Odds, a series about what holds us together when so much threatens to break us apart. If you enjoyed this series, check out: How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power or How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001

In West Virginia, Republicans hold one of the largest supermajorities in the country, and it’s growing. Just 11 Democrats — down from 14 last year — are in the 134-member Legislature. It's a political reality that isn't necessarily conducive to advancing LGBTQ rights. But that's Andrew Schneider's job. As head of Fairness West Virginia, Andrew has spent a decade as the only full-time lobbyist at the state capitol working on LGBTQ issues. His approach? Winning people over through listening rather than confrontation, a strategy he developed in college when he purposely chose a conservative campus to practice changing minds. "I quickly realized that if I sat back and let someone talk to me and did not jump in and judge, they would trust me and we could actually have a meaningful conversation where ultimately I could inject my views," Andrew said. In this episode we talk to Andrew, and political leaders in West Virginia whom he’s lobbied, about his relational approach to getting through issues that matter to h

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy take a question about how to handle birthday money. This parent’s son wants to buy some stuff in a video game, and while it feels like a waste… it IS also his money. So we’ll talk about whether this parent really needs to intervene.  And then, we’ll circle up for a round of checkins… and on Slate Plus, we’ll vent about the end-of-the-school-year frenzy. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Zak’s check-in: snark! Elizabeth’s check-in: we kept it together! Lucy’s check-in: calm (on the surface)! Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole a

J.D. Vance killed the Pope. Demi Lovato keeps their twin Poot locked in the basement. Lea Michele still can’t read. These things, unfortunately, aren’t true, and are instead just some of the inside jokes the internet has decided to collectively agree on over the years. In this episode, Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay break these internet lies down, and ask: Why do we make these jokes, and what happens when an inside joke breaks containment?  This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jenée is joined by Willa Paskin, the host of Slate’s podcast Decoder Ring. Together, they answer questions from a listener hoping their sister will “gain sanity” to leave her husband soon, another from a self proclaimed girls’ girl who can’t stop getting into disagreements with other women at work, a step-mother wondering if it’s time to “step up” and defend her husband’s ex-wife to their children, and “the pickiest eater on earth” wondering whether their food habits are impacting their professional relationships.  Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Cameron Drews. Learn more about

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy answer a letter about parenting a kid through a toxic relationship… and more specifically, a girlfriend’s toxic mom. Our letter-writer is trying to balance respecting her son’s first serious relationship with wanting to protect him from some really nasty behavior. And after that, of course, we’ll circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts.

Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay run through the lows of Coachella, before breaking down a lawsuit against one of the festival’s most visible e-commerce brands, Revolve. Earlier this month, Revolve was hit with a $50 million class-action lawsuit accusing them of deceiving more than 1 million customers using social media marketing tactics. The lead plaintiff named three influencers as co-defendants, saying they didn’t disclose that Revolve paid them for sponsored posts and had she known the posts were sponsored, she would not have purchased clothing from them. Does this case have merit, which past influencers have gotten in trouble for similar mistakes, and what does it say about our sponcon literacy today? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the third installment of our series Living at Odds, How To!’s Courtney Martin examines what it’s like being in conflict with your family history. She talks with ancestors of the famous names in Plessy v. Ferguson, the Supreme Court decision that affirmed racial segregation in the U.S. as “separate but equal.” Later, researcher Kellie Farrish explains how reparative genealogy can unlock family history that’s been lost or erased—and bring together descendants of enslaved people and their enslavers into conversations about the past, present, and future. If you’re enjoying Living at Odds, check out this How To! episode: How To ‘Do the Work’ of Racial Justice.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. This episode was produced by Maura Currie and Rosie Belson. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob, who composed original music for this se

To fly a plane, pilots must prove to the Federal Aviation Administration that they’re physically and mentally fit. But when it comes to mental health, the rules are complicated and, some say, outdated. Pilots who need antidepressants are limited to a short list of approved medications and must take a mandatory six-month leave. Even common diagnoses like anxiety or depression can trigger reviews that could ground them. The F.A.A.’s rules are born out of desire to keep the public safe, but in this episode we talk to pilots, aspiring pilots, and medical aviation professionals about their unintended consequence: incentivizing people to stay quiet about their mental health issues. Read: Why Airline Pilots Feel Pushed to Hide Their Mental Illness  Podcast production by Zoe Azulay. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Jamilah take a great question about therapy, ADHD, and working on behavior. This mom is at her limit with her daughter’s outbursts… and shopping around for therapists has yielded not a lot of success.  So: we’ll help this mom take a breath and figure out a path forward. And then, we’ll circle up for a round of checkins… and on Slate Plus, we’ll share what PBS has done for us. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Zak’s check-in: the breastfeeding room  Elizabeth’s check-in: a meetup and CPR training Jamilah’s check-in: man-ifest Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playg

In this episode, Jenée returns from parental leave and is joined by Solomon Missouri — a pastor at AME Zion Church in Snowhill, North Carolina, and author of the forthcoming “Not a Biblical Dating Book.” Together, they answer questions about a listener rekindling with his ex (and her children), someone who’s nervous about starting a romantic relationship for the first time in 20 years, and a childfree woman who’s afraid her boyfriend’s not on the same page. Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye and Kevin Bendis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Jamilah answer a letter from a member of the Slate Parenting Facebook group who’s wondering how much people-pleasing is too much. This parent’s nine-year-old daughter is a little bit of a doormat, when it comes to doing what her friends want… so how can her parents help her balance some softness with some strength? And after that, of course, we’ll circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.c

In the second installment of our series Living at Odds, former How To! host Amanda Ripley returns to talk with two public school officials in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who found themselves at loggerheads upon their very first meeting. Deborah and Stacey’s difficult working relationship continued until COVID-19 sparked some solidarity—and the two began to learn more about each other. Later, Stacey would find herself defending the colleague she once wanted to oust. If you’re enjoying Living at Odds, check out these How To! episodes: How To Build Trust With Co-Workers and How To Help Teachers Thrive. Also check out Good Conflict for additional resources.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. This episode was produced by Rosie Belson and Maura Currie. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob, who composed original music for this series. Our superv

Kareem Rahma, host of the viral web series Subway Takes, says he’s been working since he was 14 and hasn’t really taken a break. In high school, he worked service jobs. In college, he bought and re-sold motorcycles, jeans, and whatever else he thought he could flip.  This week on the show, Kareem explains why he’s had so many jobs, including posts at Vice and the New York Times, and he discusses the financial maneuvering that allowed him to pivot to comedy in his 30s.  You can check out his podcast, Subway Takes Uncut, here.     Podcast production by Cameron Drews.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com.

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth and Lucy answer a question about a four-year-old who’s starting to dabble in classes and sports, and there’s a problem: she hates pretty much all of them, even though she asks to do it in the first place. Should they take a break or work on teaching this kid how to be coached? We’ll help this kid’s mom out and then check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we’re talking about budgeting. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Zak’s check-in: alternative gift and party chat (party, thrift, Costco) Elizabeth’s check-in: group project gripes  Lucy’s check-in: preparing for the most un-quinceañera quinces EVER. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (64