Air Out My Shorts

The Word Whore swings both ways. Phil Collins is a KATG groupie. Charlie Sheen has been shellacked. Buttons finds shiny bits of Harry Potter in his potty. Void Munashii's neo-noir cinderella story, "Nick Iron and the Case of the Lost Shoe", dispenses an expanse of thigh.

Preston yaks up a Manhattan for KATG. MaxMax claims "Asha" is new, but The Whore had already seen it, Buttons already owned the album, and The Right Rev Chumley erstwhile erected its Church. Neapolitan socks don't taste like strawberries and yet incense by any other name would smell as sweet.

Preston Buttons makes a new friend. The Whore isn't fooling anybody. Stephanie Scarborough makes room on her rusty casting couch for a scotch-swilling EMO cowboy. Mickey Rooney survives the apocalypse.

Beloved medic, DocZim, revives AoMS from parts unknown. Asheron Razorbeam shaves off a short short in his sleep. Preston Buttons furrows his upper eye-sockets when light penetrates The Word Whore's ass-cam.

The Word Whore proves it's all been done. MaxMax puts the faux-fur-trim on his sisters nakedity. Banacek hits the bricks, because beer is for closers. Buttons reveals plans to smuggle a busload of Native Canadians into the States.

Buttons loses another leading man. The Whore tires of limb-dropping leprechauns and gives hamsters another go. Jukebox Review hosts, Honey and Dick, know lubrication is the key. Angry Phone Guy's anger management classes have really paid off, unless you're a Honey who's hiding a Dick.

The Whore safeguards Preston's mattress against years of Irish Spring. Yukio breaks out the champagne and teaches the Poles a thing or two about going Dutch. Lulu Fontaine finds Jesus and draws the line at Meth.

Fish feeds on Preston's stomach contents and Chad's leftovers. Johnny Favourite plays hide the sausage with 10,000 Maniacs. Belinda Carlisle gets the clap, but The Whore's lips are sealed. Chris Elliot continues to live.

Preston wins another wet T-shirt contest. Clooney misses his true calling, once more, but sometimes that's just how the cooch curdles. Having failed to check expiration dates, Doctor Wood spoils a perfectly good "Sunday Afternoon". Bartender Matt helps The Whore pick out a new pillow.

Preston's car-bombing license is revoked due to Alzheimer's. The Word Whore voluntarily enters a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. Sanchez sacrifices eternal life to appease the furry masses and Banachek drowns in a sea of virgin cougars.

Mike Dominic floods the AoMS studios after studying horny hamsters, but that's another story. Dreamy Dean reinvents the rock 'n' roll death. Best Boy Electric, You Know Bernie You Know Bernstein, can't get a grip on his gaffer.

Buttons sniffs out the homeless. Josh (The Listener) totally gives away "The End of The Movie". The Word Whore riffles through Tarantino's wank-o-dex with her bare toes. 191 Randall Crescent has to ferment the fruit before planting his seed, but he'll happily share the sloppy seconds.

AoMS rolls around in the warm squelchy aftermath of their much celebretated 100th. The Whore edits lamb screams from her Moussaka. A big fat Greek conflict prevents Preston from a life of piracy. John Doer doesn't know her, but he does dabble in dwarf tossing.

Just-a-Joe helps AoMS drag its sorry lagging arse into year 3 -- w000t! Drunk with power, The Whore blows another mic. Ernst and Young count Buttons offspring before they hatch. Chad Hanson spreads his ash, as Jim Henson rolls over in his grave. Be careful where you dip your quarter-chicken, Canada is a nice clean place.

The Word Whore takes a vow of silence. I Am Webster flashes his jugs. Dreamy Dean manages to conceal his privates, even while rolling off the rock, but Buttons brazenly unclasps his semi-wooden cloister.

Buttons enjoys himself. The Whore gets stupider. William Grant Preston does "The Deed" in a dark park with Marky Mark and Slutty McSlutSlut drops the soap.

Afternoon regurgitation turns Buttons green with envy. Joseph J Jolton polishes a petrified piece of Victorian feces. The Word Whore exhumes a canine corpse. Edible big bully King Minos Del Toro rallies a rabble regime, but it's all Greek to AoMS.

Buttons masters the telephone. Void Munashii squeezes into his ess-less unitard to fend off Gap-happy zombies in "Mallville". The Word Whore advocates tough love for self-loathing snipers. Disco Lou goes down all day long, even after his wing-man falls flat. They paved paradise and put up Mississauga.

The new Pauly B action figure comes with its own cancer-causing comb-over cream-rinse. Lord Felton Pole reveals the secret to a successful marriage. 88 Fingers Willy flounders under parental lock down. The Whore helps vain elephants turn a lighter shade of grey and Buttons finds religion.

The Whore is chronologically challenged. Fish shares his meat treat with Colonel Chicken Diddler, while Buttons suffers a stroke. Banacek rolls back from Sin City without his hand-cannon. What happens in The Gun Store, should probably stay in The Gun Store.