Air Out My Shorts

The Word Whore sets her sights on a shiny new knickknack for her mantle. Robert - producer of the Shades of Democracy Podcast - waves his dirty "Picnic" accusingly in Button 's direction. EscapePod's Stephen Eley endorses The Whore's oral talents.

Facing the combined challenges of long distance recording, nasty head colds and confusing foreign cheeses; Preston Buttons and The Word Whore finally attempt their first episode of 2006. "War and Doom" - submitted by Doomed Moose - rekindles The Whore's affection for lava lamps and pirates. Buttons finally gets around to finishing his life size portrait of Delta Burke. Gene Roddenberry rolls over in his grave.

Merrily rum soaked, Preston Buttons and The Word Whore tie one on and slap a big red bow on the last episode of 2005. The real North Pole makes a disturbing appearance in "Santa Helps Himself" - a festive load dropped on AoMS by B.C. Hooker. The Whore stumbles on a new ice sculpture technique and the true source of Aurora Borealis rears its big ugly head. Link sacrifices a goat.

Brimming with the holiday spirit, Buttons and The Whore rip the wrapping off a gift that will keep on giving. "Travieso", by Malkavious Rostif, delivers a nice big package to a naughty little number. Electric Lee from NYC opens up his sack of toys and slips in a few unexpected plugs.

Preston Buttons and The Word Whore celebrate their thirtieth episode with an unforgivable lack of fanfare, balloons, strippers and cake. Dick Hurtz takes "Henry" on a heart warming holiday spree. Guido Grande chimes in to remind us to say no to drugs.

The Whore ponies up, whinnies for Prince, and accidentally gives birth to Godzilla. First time phone guest "Hot Rod" and anonymous story submission "Control" spin tales of fast rides, parked cars, and little women. Buttons accepts his lot in life and clings to The Word Whore's boots.

Just when you thought it was safe to look into the bowl, excerpts from "Poo" - by Dave Aldridge - takes AoMS "where no whore has gone before". After merciless probing with square objects, "Disco Lou" uncovers Buttons is not bumpy and The Word Whore is not "butt-friendly".

Buttons goes back into the closet. The Whore makes a mess in bed and gives "This Spot", by S. Butts, the flush. Professor Polymer shares the latest advances in the wonderful world of plastics. Preston finally pulls the plug.

Buttons decides women should watch where they put their bare arses. "How I Nearly Killed My Girlfriend's Puppy" - by That Girl - raises a digestion dilemma. The Whore urges men to scrub their winkies. 88 Fingers Willy sits to pee.

Prestacula and Whorevira rise from their coffins, slurp from bloody goblets and take a long scary "Walk In The Woods" with Ricardo Gonzalez for Halloween. Angry Phone Guy trumps the rich by making his own glass menagerie out of cat excrement.

A big burrito threatens to burn through Buttons' bowels. The Word Whore's blue mood turns a fiery red, when her post-show plans fall apart on the air and "Faller" - by Jules Delorme - taunts her with hockey and poetry. Banachek shares a little love, having found a real live human woman to keep him warm.

Clutch Murphy has a bone to pick over Thanksgiving. Matteo Torretta adds some Italian zest. The Whore delights in discovering an unexpectedly kind AoMS mention on "The Rev Up Review", but it comes as no surprise when LINK shares way too much or when Buttons fiddles with his gear..

Preston comes clean with his 'caught in the act' story, but poems submitted by The Redheaded Cock Knocker leave both Buttons and The Whore feeling very dirty. Working Girl demonstrates what will undoubtedly be an extremely short-lived new career choice. The Word Whore confesses inappropriate carnal yearnings for Air Ferg.

Straining nipples threaten silk shirts everywhere, as The Word Whore pants her way through "Chance Encounter" by Shameless Flirt. Buttons fires off a loaded pump action gun. The Whore stands to pee. No longer 'introverted', Hot Tub Tammy shares her fantasies and sheds her clothes.

Preston Buttons and The Word Whore offer up an abridged conclusion to the 3-part "Dandy Fairytale" series by Michael Beckwith. The Whore's 'thigh-highs' get an unexpected work out. A messy 'art class', with 88 Fingers Willy, puts oven mitts and sock puppets in some sticky situations.

The Whore dons pigtails for a play date. An untitled story submission by 'Abbey Normal' barely surfaces between porn anecdotes and musical trips down memory lane. Buttons hoses down the studio. 'Lulu Fontaine' takes a bite out of The Big Apple, while her husband drafts blueprints for his midget-free fetish room.

Buttons makes commendable progress on a life-sized tribute to Delta Burke, while The Whore busies herself with small animals. An all-star ensemble rallies - from Middle Earth to San Dimas - for Chapter 2 of Michael Beckwith's fairytale series. 'Link' licks Labour Day Weekend wounds, barks up the wrong tree, steers clear of dinner plates and undesirable sandwiches.

Buttons and The Whore leave a lasting impression, though - from this day forward - both will live with the unsettling prospect of being struck down... either by The Almighty or Betty White. Phill Elliot digs yet another hole in his already crowded exotic pet cemetery and 'Angry Phone Guy' chimes in with more frighteningly slanderous celebrity ball-busting.

While Preston works diligently to finish off Mr. LaForce and his "stove-sized root balls", The Whore continues to find the lack of down and dirty detail difficult to swallow. A call to 'Working Girl' reveals membership really does have its privileges and surprises AoMS with their first ON AIR JOHN.

While "fast forward five hours" might make for nice alliteration, it leaves The Word Whore hungry for a play-by-play of the would-be 'Boston 3-Party' in "A Very Misty Morn" by Wade K. LaForce. This first half of a 2-Part episode (which also marks the TWO MONTH Anniversary of AoMS) includes an extremely rare on air parley with 'Big Bad Bruce' - released from confinement just for this call.