Air Out My Shorts

Preston threatens to spontaneously combust, as The Word Whore's dysfunctional mouth spills out all of Angry Phone Guy's sword-fighting secrets. Part two of "Calchas", by Dave Aldridge, decomposes after a wormy bout of consumption. The Whore rules out another 'entry' as unwilling. Buttons breaks his promise to the proper Mrs. E.

The Word Whore hits high celebrity as stiffly as she can. Buttons' recurring crabs cause him to lose face. A painful phonecall to Big Johnny drives the hosts to look for an escape. Part 1 of "Calchas" by Dave Aldridge has the Whore dreaming of tall shiny towers of manhood.

Reunited after seven months, Buttons and the Whore find they have nothing to say to one another. Post Punky stress leaves Buttons beaten. The whore takes double fisting to it's next logical level. The surreal "Good Morning Toronto" by Stunt Pig brings Buttons honking to the ledge. A birthday call to 88 Fingers Willy finds him looking to clean house.

Clean-shaven and sporting modern pants, Buttons and The Whore celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of AOMS. Spiderman's package shrivels at the silver tongue of a slippery little green fellow. "Tempting The Nerd", by Paul B. Edwards from PUNKY! Radio, smashes Preston's arsehole. TTN makes The Whore feel really really dirty.

The Word Whore suspects South Beach residents of watering their lawns. "Porcelain Dreams", by Mike Difeo, fails to bring out Preston's romantic side. The William Shatner School of Acting is finally forced to close down. The Whore tries to play Chuck Woolery for Buttons and first time on air guest Dr. Whom, but gravity isn't cooperating.

It's forbidden cocktails in a skank pad, when Buttons divulges the latest in kitchen trends. The Word Whore places an order for some piping hot TTN pepperoni. "Clucksome Cockadoodleanamus Book", by Martyzilla, ruffles a few feathers before helping Bjork land the lead in the sequel to ET. Buttons and The Whore finally engage Angry Phone Guy in a long overdue three-way.

The Word Whore casts her shiniest idol aside and checks herself in to the nearest knitting circle. Will Waverly, author of "Pointless Parable", politely asks Buttons to eat dung and die. Preston plays possum while top secret plans for the new Tickle-Me-Buttons plush toy - bound to be all the rage, Christmas 2006 - are inadvertently lactated.

Escape Pod's Stephen Eley gives Buttons the Sci-Fi shaft. The Word Whore seeks a sugar daddy with deep pockets and fewer cavities to keep her puffing and panting. "The Wrong Excuse", by Dan Manning, warns dope peddling jive turkeys about infectious ferrets. Hungry hounds lick their chops, while Preston polishes his drumsticks.

While The Word Whore gives Frank Stallone more air time than he's had in almost twenty years, Preston Buttons deftly dodges bullets. Jessica's "Not Just Another One Night Stand" sites some important advances in erotic robotics. The Whore finds a certain foamy stick a little hard to swallow.

Buttons expresses concern about a lack of alcoholism in Toronto's podcasting community. The Word Whore blows a peeper. Robin Kirkman, author of "Rakth in The Beginning", suffers a gender identity crisis at the hands of The Whore and cancels his/her subscription to AoMS due to Preston's assholishness.

No show this week, folks, so here's a little something from the private files. We'll be be back soon in all of our drunken glory.

Preston finally gets his dirty mouth washed out with soap. Despite ongoing rumors and an unfortunate haircut, Angry Phone Guy's wardrobe confirms his heterosexuality. The Word Whore gives up both her ass and her dignity for Lent. "Where You'll Find Me" by DG is sad and it's sad and it's sad too. Link joins Buttons in the studio for "The Redneck Review".

Buttons gives birth to the Anti-Christ, while The Whore drops acid and goes 'walkabout'. Preston denies his resemblance to Chicken Little. Part two of "Moonlight", by Craig from the Tangents podcast, delivers only part of its juicy payload before cutting out for a Ginger-MaryAnne sandwich.

The Word Whore defiles Mother Earth. Buttons tie-dyes a tree-hugger. Craig, from the Tangents podcast, oils up his harness and breaks out all the toys in part one of "Moonlight". Invisible sex organs dig up frightening images from Preston's childhood. Hairy Barbarian's run from wayward butt-plugs.

Buttons loses his battle with the homeless virus. The Word Whore fiddles, while Air Out My Shorts burns. Lost recordings collect dust for good reason. Buttons and The Whore take a meatless road-trip with Michael Beckwith in "A Day In The Life Of". Z.J. serves up some silver tongue. Preston conducts a fruitless survey.

The Word Whore lays claim to yet another celebrity tonguing in absentia, while poor Button's patience with her drunken baby-talk babble is quite audibly pushed to the edge. Mike Dominic's "At His Own Pace" receives the highest story rating ever bestowed, shortly before experts have to be called in for The Whore's deep cleaning. The Barbie Dream House labels all its exits.

Preston yanks his own chain. The Word Whore prepares for a British invasion. Dann H gets Irish on Buttons. Al from Long Island demands a peach from the Whore. Simon Wilkinson says "It Could Be You", but probably isn't.

The Whore rats out Link's little sister and airs out her unkempt garage. The conclusion of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" finds Preston Buttons wielding a dangerous piece of meat. Disco Lou calls in to woo his favorite gap girl. The Word Whore boosts seat sales for her private self-esteem workshops.

In this very special Valentine's episode, Preston flashes his Ninja card while The Whore aches for twat recognition. Buttons and The Word Whore warm your cockles by mucking about in Malkavius Rostif's "You, Me and a Pool of Astroglide". Although The Whore's toy box is evidently situated very close to the mic, wanking is strictly prohibited.

Preston is a snitch. AoMS joins the MySpace cult. The Whore does a "bad bad thing". Part one of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" dons something frilly and dangles from the ceiling. Bid Bad Bruce sweats to the oldies and picks on the elderly.