Air Out My Shorts

Buttons numbs himself to the pain, while The Whore whips up a batch of daddy goo. Judy Dench still has a shot at a hat-trick. Nicole unleashes a tasty tuft of poorly compensated discomfort in "Model Wanted". Dreamy Dean orders some beer and doubles your toothless-padded-french-goalie-fetish pleasure. Link smells bad.

Trapper John and Hot-Lips-Hawk-Eye accidentally cross primary instruments in a Virginian MASH pit. Feces flinging monkeys invade the AoMS studio. Jesse's girl, Jessica, forgoes robots and rabbits to risk marital bliss for "Him", while Buttons leaks the top-secret plot-line of HP7. There's a place for bad jokes, but there is not always room for Jello. The Whore finds Link's funny bone. JustaJoe puts his mouth where his keyboard is.

It's a celebration of death and VD, broadcast from a crumb-free hobbit-size toilet-seat. While Preston's morals preclude intimate wee-wee dinners and veto roofie distribution plans, they do not rule out sending herpes by mail. Prince's next evolution may challenge whether or not Ms. Whore sure likes to ball. A team of EMTs try to resuscitate Rich Gibson's "Motorcycle". Sir Michael wears nice pants.

The Word Whore faces a concrete case of elephantiasis. Buttons gets busted for playing air guitar. Big Johnny's off his game. "Sex For Grades", by Nobilis, makes Preston sweat and teaches The Whore a better way to die. Someone's sneaking 'round the corner, is the someone Link The Knife?

Buttons finds a little Jamaican hiding in his family tree. Belinda uncorks her "Masterpiece". Dom Joly's Bitch gives The Word Whore an excuse to polish her harness and the lost "Spooge" recordings turn up somewhere in Newfoundland.

Preston decides to cure Polio and rubs Peter Jackson the wrong way. Wikipedia snubs The Whore. Fellow podcasting barfly, Will Ross, leaves an "Aftertaste". Balls-out rock'n'roller, Dreamy Dean, defuzzes his luggage for the debut performance of "BOB".

Buttons is smashed. The Whore misses out on some good clean fun. Phil Foster dreams of a Pink Christmas. Banacheck rubs elbows with aging television stars and spewing headbangers.

Buttons and The Whore rejoice in the holiday spirit, celebrate the simple things, and stuff. "MDK", by Mikkel from Denmark, smells faintly of fancy french pigs. Preston tracks down first ever AoMS story submitter, Trapper, in Virginia. Chuck Woolery reeks havoc in the PlayPen. Special thanks to forum members JustaJoe and Jessica.

Preston plugs unfriendly beaver. The Word Whore unknowingly sends TTN listeners on a wild goose chase. "Drinkathon", by Stuntpig, induces cravings for pigs feet, chocolate bars, and potato omelette. Lulu Fontaine digs funk from under her fingernails and dons a hard-earned pair of new shoes.

The Whore comes up for air via Skype after blowing for dollars, drunk-dialing, and milking Phil McCracken Whitcomb's pants. David Ihnen's "The Very Good Rat" sets Buttons' balls a twitchin' and rumors of Working Girl's death prove to have been only mildly exaggerated.

The Whore's dignity is battered once again. Buttons hides behind his "Peeps". "The Mind of Insanity" by Jonathan Hunter Dare makes Buttons yearn for world control. Mygraine from the AOMS forums gives a new meaning to the phrase "cashing out".

Buttons pimps his rye. The Whore Sautes some ninety-year-old shrimp. Doomed Moose bears it all in "A Scary Night". Mama's Boy fakes a leaky faucet to avoid holiday hotdogs.

Buttons auditions for TOMMY, while a very phlegmy Word Whore gets behind math, science, geometry, and the latest hot tip from Link. The Amusement Ride, by David Smith, spirals out of orbit. Angry Phone Guy orders a salad.

AoMS says YES to minty fresh Brits. Preston serenades fellow podcasting 'sidekick' Tony Hearn. Ryan Saunders touches Buttons in all the right places, with a little help from "Sid and Zoe". Despite unanimous listener opinion, Big Johnny gets another shot. The Whore accidentally reveals her best kept anti-aging secret.

The Word Whore chokes on Preston's jerk chicken. Outraged by negative listener feedback, Big Johnny tries to highjack the airwaves. Preston Buttons Junior lovingly recalls "A Day with Dad". Law-talking ex-glam-rocker, Lionel Hutts, joins AoMS for an unauthorized tribute to the real Rat Pack.

Punky's Pauly B. delivers "Always Fighting" in lieu of his wife. Olfactory observations unearth a crock of kippers 'n' applesauce. Link drops his Gangsta facade, although he's still packin'. Buttons and The Whore commit a blood-curdling crime of passion.

Preston Buttons dances and breaks out the bubbly, while Vince Vaughn's leavings dribble from The Whore. Luke's "Cherries 'n' Cream" shames Shakespeare. A call with Craig from the Tangents Podcast leads to the long-overdue discovery that Art Garfunkle, Richard Simmons, and Ronald MacDonald are all, in fact, the same person.

Preston Buttons jams with countrified lesbians, plays a 'bit-part' in LOTR, and sets his sights on the King's deer. Ricardo Gonzales offers up a sweet, tightly-wrapped little treat. The Word Whore challenges Disco Lou to a 'twink-off' and everything's coming up Millhouse.

Buttons changes his name to Keith and almost actually comes out. The Toronto International Film Festival starts oiling up The Word Whore's rusty revolving door. A submission by Poet oozes through gaping cracks in AoMS content standards. Just-a-Joe blows hot and cold in the first edition of a new segment: "Outta The Word Whore's Mouth".

Buttons slinks out of his sopping apartment, lets down his back-hair, and gums his way through long-overdue listener comments. Phil Foster breaks out of AoMS in-box imprisonment to offer up "The Gift". Tiny hands wield an enormous broom. Link drops in to butter The Word Whore's biscuit.