Unspoiled! Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Roshawn joins us!We get Faith being terrible, as she tends to be, and a weird gambit for a box full of spiders. Why spiders? Because this is Buffy, that's why. Plus more flirtations between Weasel and Cordelia. The mayor is trying to Ascend, whatever that means, and that involves getting into Buffy and Angel's heads about the nfuture of their relationship. And not only is he not wrong, he's fucking right. These two are not good together. Break up already.Also, the prom comes along, and we get another mad scientist student and his dumb ideas. He got turned down by a girl and now is training werewolves to kill well-dressed people. It's not any fun. I really wish the show would learn that if you have an important character message to show us, you don't need a new evil thing for Buffy to fight. There are already rogue vampires around, you can just bring them in for the bad thing to defeat and spend more time on the meaty character stuff. But it does lead to an important validation for poor Buffy, where the schoo

Time for some more Buffy!I gotta be honest, this first episode pissed me off something fierce. I've said before how I'm not a fan of Faith's decent into evil, and despite all of Bitches trying to explain it to me, I'm not buying it. Her behavior seems forced and not consistent, and we get mologuing as exposition instead of character traits introduced earlier that would explain this. I like the idea of Faith going rogue. I don't like the execution. Add tot that the pseudo-reemergence of Angelus, which I'm bored with, and this first episode was a slog to get through. I liked the twist of Angel being in on it, but, well, it wasn't an interesting turn.The bright spot, however, is the mayor. I love his amiable, friendly disposition and how he stays in power, playing demons off one another and using the carrot rather than the stick. Vampire hiearchy is fickle, and the mayor thinks long-term. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of his machinations.Earshot was tough for a different

We have the return of alternate universe Willow, and I can't get enough of her.Anyanka is angry that she's a normal human now, stuck in the body of a Socal teenager. She needs her powers back, and the goat demon isn't playing along.So she approaches the only witch she knows, Willow. Michael is nowhere to be found and Amy is still a rat. so Willow seems to be the senior witch on the scene. She needs to make a rift in the space-time continuum to get her amulet back, and that goes as well as one could expect- vampire willow is brought forth into our dimension. And boy does she look good.I legit love this episode, but I'm a little frustrated. One, it feels like it needed more room to breathe, or maybe just cut the Faith stuff in favor of more conflict resolution. Or maybe even two episodes to solve this. Second, as much as I love the contrast between VampWillow and SweaterWillow, SweaterWillow doesn't seem very rounded as a character- she still behaves like she would in a cartoon. I'm really hoping her character

I don't want to give the impression that I didn't like this character arc for Faith- the decent from Chaotic Good to Chaotic Neutral/Evil is a wonderful development for this show, which despite being almost *good* at this point, is stil stagnating as far as the status quo is concerned. I'm just not buying the particular actions Faith takes during her decent- they feel forced rather than organic. But to recap, Faith is reckless and she's rubbing off on Buffy. She dives into problems head first and doesn't plan at all. Also she has no problem stealing from the local weapons shop- which I actually agree with. Given how much fucked up shit Buffy and Faith take care of for the townspeople, I think filing an insurance claim is a fair price for this shopkeeper to pay so that he doesn't get eaten like poor crunchy witch. But there's an accident when fighting the Eliminati- Faith accidentally kills Allen, the useless deputy Mayor. And then tries to dump the body in the ocean. This leads to a spiral of guilt and blame

Somehow this show made me enjoy a full episode of Xandar.Maggie Benzvi joins us for another round of Buffy! And we discuss vagina glue, fetishes, and ice skating.As for the episodes . . .Buffy is having Daddy issues because her father doesn't show for her birthday. Meanwhile Giles is preparing for a test for the Slayer- depowering her and tossing her in a walled-up house with a vampire who was a serial killer before he was turned. And I'm not a fan of what the watchers are up to- this seems like an organization that is a circle-jerk at this point. The can't keep their members from going rogue and they have stupid things that hurt trust with the Slayer. Naturally, the watchers left to guard the vampire have really stupid rules and aren't very observant, so one gets eaten and the other gets turned. And when poor Joyce is dragged into all this . .. well, some quick thinking on Buffy's part saves the day. Which is the whole point. I'm not sure I buy her renewed trust in Giles, though.But the second episode goes

Ms. Calendar returns as an apparition, along with a couple of other victims from Angel's past. Also, there's a pitchfork mob.The first episode is pretty Meh. I was intrigued by the flashbacks to Angel's adventures, and wished we could have spent an entire episode int here, just learning what the hell went on during all those years. But Buffy is forced to share Angel's dreams/memories. I've said before that I'm not a fan of Angel at all, but that's mostly of brooding, mopey angel of the present day. I like his backstory.It turns out that his visions are created by another demon who wants him to kill himself- and I would have been fine with the episode if it didn't add that detail. Angel can and should deal with his guilt, that's a decent character study, but we do we have to bring another demon into nit? Can't we just let these things happen without a random antagonist? And then is snows. And Faith is there. And Angel and Buffy are back together but not really? Whatever.The second episode was far more fun, and

This is what I'm here for!We get Spike returning because Drusilla has broken his heart. Which doesn't surprise me, as she's not really the monogamous type. Spike is your regular ridiculous boy who can't understand that the relationship is over, and he wants a love potion to make her love him again. And yet he still seems to be the most emotionally mature person here. His cunning plan involves kidnapping Willow and getting her to cast a love spell, and Xander because he happens to be in the same room. But Willow is working on a way to kill her desire for Xander, and putting them in the same room for an extended amount of time isn't going to help that.Once again we get more angst about Angel which I don't even really want to talk about. Break up or be a couple, I don't mind either way, just stop talking about wanting to a be a couple. Also, I was right to hate the Willow/Xander pairing, as both Cordy and Oz save their significant others only to find them about to do it. And poor Cordy ends up with some rebar th

Buffy is in deep shit.In our first episode, Principal Snyder has drafted everyone into fundraising for band uniforms. Snyder is a tool, though, as the mayor has a nefarious plot to drug all the townsfolk with overpriced chocolate, making them regress to middle-school age, without a care in the world and forgetting what adulting is. This was a super fun episode, mostly because Anthony Stewart Head generally plays the role of Giles like he's being asked to work on Sunday without overtime. But now that he regresses to Ripper, he's actually fun to watch and engaging. And he fucks Joyce on a cop car. That's a ship I was adamantly opposed to, and then changed my mind halfway through the episode.It turns out that the whole thing was a distraction, so that some ancient demon snake can get a snack on some babies. I'm sticking by my theory that he's hurt by the fat shaming (his name means Glutton) so he eats babies instead of fully-grown humans to cut his calories.In our second episode, the truth comes out about Angel.

Back with two episodes of Buffy!The first one is nothing to write home about. Once again we have an uncomfortable abusive relationship, and that really goes nowhere. There is a bit of a red herring in that the prime suspect is Oz- but honestly they need to fire whoever made that costume. Why didn't they use the one from last season? He looks like a Geico caveman.But it turns out that the real killer is some asshole who's been experimenting with some kind of demonic Jekyll/Hyde serum. It's not interesting. Neither is Buffy's maybe-Canadian boyfriend Scott.Onto the homecoming dance! Buffy decides to pick a fight with Cordelia, and I'm on Cordy's side here. There is no win state for Buffy, all she can do is make Cordelia lose, and that's exactly what happens. Meanwhile, Mr. Trick has organized an assassin's ball, including the werewolf hunter, the cowboy vampire and his dayhooker wife, a pair of German twins, and a yellow lizard thing. This episode was awesome, even if Buffy's dress was terrible. Also, I am not

Faith is no Kendra. I have to say that up front.As if Buffy doesn't have enough to deal with, along comes the woman who replaces her. And she's much more interesting than Buffy, and prettier, too. Even if she does wear pants that seem to be made of fruit roll-ups.Honestly this episode felt a little rushed. We're introduced to a new antagonist or two, and there's apparently some tension building between Buffy and Faith. Dealing with the past seems to be a theme, as Buffy struggles to admit to Giles what went down between her and Angel, and Faith being unable to confront the death of her watcher. Also Zander has a thing for slayers. It must hurt that Willow is the only woman on earth he doesn't have a boner for.Only one episode this week, guys. Bitches tell me next week the episodes fit together better.

And we're into Season 3 of Buffy!Without Buffy or Cordelia, the rest of the gang is trying to take care of the vampire problem- not very successfully, either. Willow has had a significant upgrade to her wardrobe, but she's still lacking- I hope this means that her character will finally become more than what she is now. It's progress.Buffy, though, is working as a waitress in LA, living in a crappy apartment, when she runs into Lilly, one of the vampire groupies from last year. Unlike the rest of the population of this world, she actually seems to remember what's going on. When he boyfriend goes missing, she turns to Buffy for help. It turns out that there's some demons in a weird time-slowed realm that are kidnapping homeless teenagers, working them for centuries, and returning them the next day having aged into their sixties. It's weird. Poor Lilly is caught up in it, and Buffy goes to the new realm to save her.And then in episode two, we get Buffy returning, dealing with the fallout of her running away fr

And we come to the end of season 2 of Buffy. Angel and Kendra are both dead. I care about one more than the other. Apologies for the choppy audio on this, guys, I did my best to clean it up.There's another MacGuffin buried under the town, and this time it can open a portal to hell. Which was a disappointment- they spoke about this demon with a name, so I was hoping we'd get to see another cool demon costume. Oh well.The key to this gateway to hell is Angel. And we get to see him being turned by Darla and turning Dru in turn- Spike's origin is still just alluded to, but now that Angel is dead and Spike on the run I'm assuming that will have to wait for the spin-off show.Willow picks up where Jenny left off, and after one interruption that kills Kendra, she tries again. And it works, all culminating in Angel being returned to goodness right before Buffy stabs him with a sword.This was an exciting end to the season, but we have to admit there was *quite* a bit of chaff here, I'm hoping the show gets streamlined

RoShawn joins us for a fun couple of episodes.There's a ghost at the school, and it turns out that back in the fifties some douche killed his teacher. Who he was sleeping with. Yeah that was squicky. But it gives Buffy a chance to process nsome of her feelings toward Angel. And shoot him.And then we get a guest star, and you people know how I love me some guest stars. RoShawn and I gush about how we love his body while Bitches audibly eye-rolls.Also we discuss terrifying disciplinary methods our parents/commanders used on us, and dolphin herpes.

More whiplash! Jenny has been on the outs for several episodes now, and she does the honorable thing by trying to figure out a way to re-curse Angel. Things do not go well for her. Honestly, I saw this one coming, but I genuinely liked Jenny as a character and was very frustrated by the writer's non-utlization of her. I'm hoping there's some additional content about her somewhere, because honestly, the Romani techno-pagan is the most interesting conecpt in here, far more than the chosen one. Also, there's that stupid death demon in the hospital. I don't even want to talk about it. See you next week, guys, when we'll have another special guest!

Happy new year, listeners! We're joined by a special guest, Maggie Benzvi this time.These were two of the least serious Buffy episodes we've had so far, but they were also two of the most fun, in my opinion.There's a werewolf skulking around and it's killing bunnies and possums, which both Bitched and Maggie seem to have it out for. But because this is the hellmouth, that's not exactly weird.We go through a big red herring of one of the school bullies, Larry, but it just devolves into some gay panic. It turns out Oz is the werewolf, having been bitten by his baby cousin. I'm curious how the cousin got it. Also there's a werewolf hunter, but no one seems to get iced this episode except poor Teresa.And then on to a very problematic but also very funny episode- Xander has a breakup with Cordy, and enlists Amy (who is carrying on the family tradition of invoking the wrong goddess) to cast a love spell, but she misfires and now everyone wants to jump Xander's bones, excpet for Cordelia. And then they get back toge

Merry Christmas everyone! Have a special bonus episode! Can you believe Bitches has never seen Die Hard?

I'm starting to notice that Spike is really the driving force behind what makes this show worth paying attention to. There's lots of monster-of-the-week camp, which is fine, and fun to take the piss out of, the real character drives come from the chaos that is Spike.This pair of episodes is about Buffy's heartbreak, because her vagina turns Angel back into a monster. And I'm kinda done with good!Angel anyway, as evil one, and his dynamic with Dru & Spike is much more fun when he's on the wrong side of things.We also learn a bit about Ms. Calendar- apparently she is Romani, a distant relative of the ones that cursed Angel int have a soul and a conscience. Though is was probably pretty stupid of them to have an out clause the second he becomes happy. Her uncle shows up briefly, but since he gets eaten, there's not really a whole lot of impact to him being around. Just driving a wedge between her and the rest of the gang.I'll keep this one short, as most of you aren't reading this anyway. Enjoy the episodes!

I'm getting whiplash from how quickly this show swings from camp to seriousness.In our first epsiode, we meet Ted, played by the late John Ritter. Ted has been dating Joyce, and poor emotional, vaguely-stable Buffy walks in on them making out. And she's having none of this.We never really figure out what Ted's plan is- other than it involves putting heroin in his food. I don't know if that tastes good or not, but apparently it makes everyone like him. I don't knwo how much heroin you'd have to put into it before you'd get me to try fried pizza, though.Buffy needs to get some therapy and learn to accept her parents' divorce, but her instincts are right here. Ted is a killer robot. We never know why, though- he doesn't need to eat, so I guess he needs to pay property taxes on his little hideout, and that's why he's marrying and killing women for years? Whatever. Also, someone needs to privde a real-life example of high school students being forced to take care of a fake baby. I think this is entirely an inventi

MORE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!111!!1!Money here, and I want a spinoff show just about Kendra the vampire slayer. She adds some much needed diversity to the show, as well as depth of character and nuance.Plot summary is as follows:Spike decides its high time to bring Drusilla back to full strength. Much digging into old books (especially the one pilfered from Giles) to find an answer, though Drusilla seems to be pretty damn good with the Tarot readings as far as answers.Three assassins are summoned- the biker, the worm, and the ginger. But none of that really matters because Bianca Lawson is on the scene, chewing the hell out of the scenery and fucking shit up.The first two-parter since the premiere, and it's welcome. The show spends too much time trying to encapsulate its storylines into forty-minute chunks, and when it gives itself some more breathing room, it really shines.Let's get some more of this.

OMG what a fun podcast this was!Bitches & Money slayed at this year’s LosCon! Join us for this adventure as Money finally consumes that piece of queer culture that he managed to avoid all these years!We talk consent, which of our college professors we slept with, and why toast is thrown at the screen. Also we diverge to talk about Grease a bit.Have a listen, it’s super fun!