Unspoiled! Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Well guys, We're back with some Buffy! And these two episodes came close to being good, but fell a bit short.The first one gives us a connection to Buffy's old life in LA- and old chum resurfaces, and somehow knows she's the Slayer. And while the actor playing Ford is lacking here, it's nice to see Buffy struggling and having some character growth. Ford is a moron, though- banking on the goodwill of Spike without a backup plan. And it naturally goes as well as can be expected. Plus Money gets schooled on goth clubs in the 90s.Giles' past also comes back to bite him- his band is slowly being killed by a demon who melts into Windex Jello when it loses a host, and poor Ms. Calendar gets caught in the middle. Ethan resurfaces, and Money cannot get enough Robin Sachs. The resolution doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but not a whole lot does.

I'm gonna keep this short, since I think we're all still reeling from everything that happened last week. There's a fraternity, and they are just as douchy as you imagine but they also worship and sacrifice to a rape snake. Yeah, that actually happened. Also, Halloween rolls around, and Cordelia *really* disappoints me with her costume. I had such high hopes for you, girl. Also, I get a little sad about Robin Sachs. Be well, and know that me and Bitches love you.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS! Now I see why this show has such a following. It only took 15 episodes to get here! The show's strengths have always been in the tertiary characters- that's where the real stakes are, where the danger lies. The main characters aren't going to get iced, but Wheadon's brilliance relies in his ability to cast well and do more with less when it comes to characters. So now we have our standouts of the show- Spike, Inca Princess, and that other fuckup girl in the principal's office. The master sucked, and I'm glad he's gone. This storyline does not lend itself to prophecy well. Buffy has a little meat to chew on in being reluctant to embrace her destiny, but it's missing a crucial part that makes prophecy a compelling narrative tool- how the world reacts to the chosen one, and what that means for their place in the world. Something that Harry Potter nailed, but the Matrix flubbed (yeah I said it). Spike is just the right amount of charm an

Oh look, they finally got some money to make this show! Buffy is back, and she's got a terrible attitude. Unfortunately, so is the anointed one. Honestly, I can feel the show starting to improve, but it sure is taking its time. So, to recap. Buffy is back, and she's pissed of and angsty about what the Master put her through, and apparently killing him isn't enough, She needs to spend an entire summer sulking and being a twat to her friends. We get our first black vampire (well, our second if you count that woman in the background of the second episode, but we haven't seen her since, so no. No credit) and he seems intent on resurrecting the master. And through a willful mistranslation, Buffy thinks they need her to bring him back. But they don't, they need all her friends. Except Xander, because fuck him. Then she works out her issues by breaking shit- the master's bones, specifically. Also Angel is there. Angel is around more for the second episode as well, and he starts off with a passive-aggressive argument

Buffy Season 1 comes to a close. This first episode gave as both the feels, and not just because we both have giant crushes on Clea DuVall (Seriously, girl, what happened to you? Come back and get an Emmy!) I'm feeling more of the Joss Wheadon I know starting to emerge, but this feels a little rushed. We never really get to learn much about Marcie, other than she feels invisible because people ignore her. Whatever switch was supposed to get flipped and turn her into a psychotic killer. Cordelia is starting to get some characterization, but it's inconsistent, sometimes cartoonish bullying and sometimes genuine feelings. I hopes the writers find something for her to land on. But then we must move on the the episode with the vampires (and for a show about a vampire slayer, they really keep shitting the bed when it comes to vampire-centric episodes. I miss you, Darla.) The Master has a diabolical plan, and according to the rules that Joss just made up, he needs to feed on the Slayer to earn his freedom from the u

Well howdy, listeners! What the hell was this? Apparently Giles is in charge of the talent show, as the high mortality rate of Sunnydale means the regular drama teacher was probably eaten by a narwhal. This means there's quite a bit of cringe-inducing "talent" on display here, including Cordelia trying to sing. Poor Morgan, found a possessed puppet. But not possessed by a demon, but by a demon-hunter, cursed to be a perverted old man in a tiny wooden body with no dick. The real demon has eaten poor Emily's heart, but he doesn't take a liking to Morgan's brain- apparently tumors make it tough and chewy. Oh, and Buffy, Willow, and Zander perform Oedipus Rex. Money is a bit of a greek classics snob, so he's pissed. And then we move on to the most WTF episode yet, and I mean WTF in terms of story structure and plot. There's a kid who was maybe molested, and he has a superpower that makes everyone in town live their nightmares for a full day, at least. We learn that Bitches loves the opera. Didn't see that one com

We have a  special guest star on the show this week! Owen joins us to talk about the most ridiculous hour of television that ever happened. Buffy goes full insanity here. We have, in no particular order: Buffy's ridiculous outfits. Seriously it looks like she made them out of curtains. Who thought that cheap velvet was a good idea? Techno-pagans, which are witches who use the internet. Demons catfishing Willow. "I'm jacked in!" Giles (maybe?) getting his dick wet. Typed suicide notes. Scanning all the books in the library into the computers. The best cosplay ever. But honestly, as terrifyingly weird and poorly-though out this episode was, we had a splendid time recording this.  Have a listen guys- they tell me this is rock bottom. God I hope so.    

And we have a pair of Buffy episodes where people in Buffy's life can't exactly be trusted. Okay, let's dive in. Rancho Cucamonga has a zoo. Huh. And the elephant in the shot seems to not be having any of this white nonsense, because that was some epic side-eye. I feel you, girl. So a group of bullies who we've never seen before get infected with hyena spirit. Also Xander. And not the kid they were bullying, who is here for some reason. His haircut looks like a Q-tip. The "pack" ends up stealing lunch from a metalhead, but the hotdogs aren't satisfying, so they eat the school mascot. The other four are still hungry and decide to eat the principal (!) but Xander is too busy attempting to rape Buffy and gets locked in the library cage. Yeah, this episode is weird. But on to Angel! I knew something was up with him, and I suspected he was a vampire. I didn't expect, however, that vampires don't really have free will- and he's been cursed with it by a Romani family. But let's get real here. This episode was all ab

I hate you all. For a show about a teenage girl that is good at killing vampires, it really sucks at episodes about vampires. Listen along as Money has serious issue with the questionable fashion choices of this show, and the magically appearing bra in between cuts. Also Money has a rant about another director this time- Kevin Smith! Yes, even 90's kids can figure out that he's bad at his job. There's quite a bit of digression in this episode, because the show just isn't that interesting at this point. But you fuckers wanted two sassy queers hatecasting this show, and that's why you got. I need a drink.

There's a giant fucking preying mantis in the school. That is a thing that happened. What even is this show? Listen along and hear the Bitches & Money origin story, too!

Oh hey, Money didn't hate this episode. Apparently Buffy wants a hobby, because killing vampires and not doing her homework leaves her with so much downtime that she needs a new hobby to keep busy. Giles isn't having it, because he's a voyeuristic man ho needs to control the life of the Slayer. Luckily he seems pretty on the ball when it's time to break a spell on Buffy, but still, there's a creepy vibe to him, Why does he have an opinion on Buffy's cheerleading status? So the twist is that Amy's mom has body-swapped with her daughter, and is casting nasty spells to put her on the cheerleading squad, even though she doesn't seem to really have the talent for it. But whatever. There's a cartoony, low-stakes feeling to this episode, and if this is the kind of material we're going to get out of the show, Money finds it a welcome change. The pilot pretended to be high-stakes and dangerous, but it felt sloppy and silly, whereas if you embrace the absurdity and don't take it too seriously, you end up with a more en

Buffy the Vampire slayer . . . . Holy cow . . . why do you people do this to me? Hi, It's Money, and I'm really starting to miss Alias right about now. This first episode is quite shaky. Like mayonnaise flavored jello. Really really white, not appetizing at all, and a foundation made of questionable choices. I'm feeling the pain that Bitches had- being the unspoiled one can really suck sometimes, especially when what you just watched was as unsatisfying as mayonnaise and ricotta spread on crumpets and saltines, and a bottle of room-temperature Aquafina to wash it down. While high on meth. (Trust me, that metaphor will make sense if you listen). Buffy is in the title, though, so I don't need to give her a derisive nickname. I am excited to find out what all the hubbub was about, but Bitches tells me the first season sucked. And you patrons are the ones that said we should go through this episode by episode, so . . . I hate you all. This episode is VERY low budget, and I was a bit disappointed to see one of my