Sinopsis
A podcast chronicle of one man's quest to remain sane while working in a small town "liberry" with patrons who had apparently missed the Twin Peaks casting call. Adapted from the blog Tales from the "Liberry" (liberry.blogspot.com)
Episodios
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EPISODE 20 (120): Barbie T: Combat Pay
24/07/2011 Duración: 17minLast week's podcast presented how Barbie Turdmurkle drove us nigh unto insanity in helping her log into one of her many online services that she doesn't have the necessary skillset to access by herself. One year later, she returned to do much the same thing, having learned no lessons on doing so from our previous encounter on the matter. As an added bonus, I have also recorded my heretofore unpodcasted first encounter with Barbie T. It was the first of many exasperating telephone conversations I was to have with her.
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EPISODE 15 (115): Deception as the Rule
19/06/2011 Duración: 20minOne of the oddest tales in the entire "liberry" catalog has to be that of Mrs. Lying D. Sackashit, a lady who proved to have in her possession a never-ending fountain of horseshit which she turned in our direction whenever we encountered her. I don't know the true nature of her particular brand of mental flaw, but she had an impressive ability to calmly reinvent reality on the spot regardless of the MOUNTING evidence to the contrary staring her in the face. Why did she do this? To get what she wanted, of course. And, unfortunately, in our battles with her, she often won.
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EPISODE 13 (113): Superfreak, the Worst of Paranoid Rick James
05/06/2011 Duración: 24minUpgrades in technology often bring upgrades in hassle. So was the case when our "liberry" network upgraded our circulation software, requiring us to rebarcode not only our entire collection, but our patrons as well. And when it came to patrons freaking out on us in a super fashion about policy issues concerning their library card, no one won the race ahead of Paranoid Rick James. His apparent fear that the "gubmint" was trying to keep track of which Joan Medlicott books he read led him down corridors of patron deception we could scarcely keep track of ourselves.
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EPISODE 11 (111): Now THAT's some Monday for your ass.
22/05/2011 Duración: 17minMondays. Who needs `em? Can't stand them. Wouldn't live next to them. Okay, so this attitude is pretty much a universal one. But I assure you that Mondays at the "liberry" sucked even more than most Mondays despite the fact that we didn't even open until 1 in the afternoon. No, Mondays at the "liberry" sucked even worse than Halle Berry's Catwoman and, as your average goat will tell you, that movie sucked A LOT. This episode is a prime example of why I hated Mondays at the "liberry" and the awful events that fell upon me on one particular Monday.
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EPISODE 10 (110): Open Letters, part the first
15/05/2011 Duración: 18minIn these days of miracle and wonder, with all our email and forum snark, the craftily-worded complaint letter is nearly a lost artform. Even at the library, a place where the patrons had no problem complaining about the tiniest of perceived infractions, we rarely received them in letter form. That's why I decided to turn the tables and start writing open letters of complaint to the people who drove me nuts--albeit, online and in a place where they were unlikely to ever see them, especially considering that one of them is dead.
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EPISODE 8 (108): The Boy With One Red Shoe (and other Tales of the Martins)
01/05/2011 Duración: 14minTwo of the more exasperating and amusing child patrons we had at the "liberry" were Little Kevin and Little Chuck Martin. They were very intelligent, sometimes bitingly funny, but often a bit spacey and prone to making the job of "liberry" ass. a difficult one. I still count them among the good eggs, but that made them no less challenging (or funny) to deal with.
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EPISODE 6 (106): Tax Time Blues
17/04/2011 Duración: 19minTax season is one of the more annoying seasons at the "liberry." Not only do you have people descending on your head, asking for financial advice you're not qualified to give, but they refuse to read all signs to that effect that might have saved them a trip to the reference desk. Don't bother putting any up to direct them to the tax forms, either. Patrons, as a rule, don't read signs. Episode 6 (106) presents three different tax time tales, some of which are amalgams of a handful of other stories originally presented on the Tales from the "Liberry" blog. Hope your personal tax season is going better than mine used to.
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EPISODE 4 (104): "They Live" and other stories of Language Lessons and DMVictims
03/04/2011 Duración: 20minAnyone who's ever worked the reference desk in a library has heard tale of the infamous THEY--that secret cabal of advice-givers who send people to the library in search of the of odd-assed things no library should be expected to have. They cause an awful lot of trouble. And it doesn't help that the patrons They send to libraries have difficulty communicating the instructions from They in the first place, necessitating the consultation of English/Patronese dictionaries and, quite possibly, a divining rod. They said you should listen to this podcast. They said doing so will make you fabulously wealthy. They said it contains the answers you are seeking. They said it has a creamy nougat center. They said you should forward the podcast on to five people you know and three you don't, or it will bring bad luck. They said it does a body good. In fact, They said if you don't listen to it, Slim Goodbody will come to your house and kick you squar in the junk. They said if you do not possess "junk," that'
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EPISODE 3 (103): The Horse Pissperer
27/03/2011 Duración: 15minUnfortunate Fact: human patrons often read their library books on the toilet, where they are apt to accidentally, or otherwise, contaminate them with various mookystinks. (Think about THAT the next time you sit down to read a borrowed book over your lunch break.) Horse patrons rarely read books on the toilet. However, as evidenced by this week's podcast, they are also apt to be a bit liberal with their distribution of waste products around them. A classic tale of love, compassion and disinfectant. And in our bonus story, we have another tale of finding the wrong video in the right case, only this time without as much discomfort involved--er, well, depending on your cinematic tastes, I guess. It's probably a tale only Stephen King could love.
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EPISODE 1 (101): DP for DPenedetta
13/03/2011 Duración: 14minYessir, it's the premiere episode of Tales from the "LiberryCast." This is an audio adaptation of stories from a blog I wrote for five years called Tales from the "Liberry." It was a chronicle of my quest to remain sane while working in a public library where the patrons could double as extras in a David Lynch film. This podcast will adapt my favorite stories from the run of that blog along with some behind the scenes commentary and DVD-style commentary.