Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

The Eternals have been waiting on the sidelines for the moment when they could usher audiences further into Phase Four of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but is this movie leading the franchise in the right direction? Kent and Joel will give their spoiler-free reviews for the first 20 minutes of this BaconBit, and then they will take off their golden CGI power gloves and continue to discuss everything from DC characters to Transformers to Twilight to The Muppets. Yes, this review is a little long, but at least it’s not 156 minutes.   Press play to learn who looks attractive in certain lighting.

There Ain’t No Stopping Us Now, because Baconsale has created a bracket to determine what is the greatest one-hit wonder from the 1970s. We Got to Be Real, neither Kent, nor Joel, nor Zack spent Seasons in the Sun during the 70s, but we’ve done our research and sought advice about which songs are truly Magic. We’ll do our best to not Rock the Boat, but Knock on Wood that we don’t eliminate your Precious and Few favorites in this first round of disco, funk, soul, pop, rock, and novelty music matchups.   Press play to hear some truly terrible falsetto singing, some nose flute solos, and to learn how many of these tracks were on the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.   Download the official 70s one-hit wonder bracket at Baconsale.com and play along!

They’re heeeeere! Baconsale is conjuring up the courage to discuss ghosts, specters, spooks, phantoms, or whatever else you call the things that go bump in the night. We’ve wanted to do a ghost show for a while, but it’s such a broad topic, so we’ve focusing our energy on spirits that haunt specific locations. We’ll tell you how to discern if your house is haunted as well as how to rid your home of an unwanted presence. We’ll also share some real-life stories and, of course, we’ll let you know which ghostly movies are Baconsale approved. WARNING! Since we’re talking about the dead, things do get a little dark at times, but we’ll do our best to keep the vibes good.   Press play to hear voices from the past speak to you, listener!

Listener, are you ready for another round of Baconsale horror movie pitches? Although it seems like these “pitches” become more like short scary stories each time we do this. Nevertheless, our friend Brian has joined us on this episode, and since he requested the pitch show, it doesn’t count against Kent’s earnings. Zack brings some real horror into the Baconcave, Joel’s pitch is so basic, Kent’s is a little autobiographical, and Brian’s involves some German. In addition, we combined our forces and each took turns writing a fourth terrifying tale that we’d like to share with you. WARNING! While still family friendly (Manson-family friendly?), these stories may frighten younger ears who may be listening. Parental guidance is suggested.   Grandma Toothy wants you to press play.

Fun Fact: Our first ever BaconBit was a review of James Bond’s 24th official movie, Spectre. And here we are, six years later, finally reviewing the next 007 film in the franchise, No Time to Die. No, this film is not Halloween-related, but we decided to talk about it in October because we’ve been waiting for over a year to see this film. Kent, Joel, and Zack all watched No Time to Die separately and they’re coming together to discuss Daniel Craig’s final outing as Bond. We won’t be divulging any secrets during the first part, but then we’ll dive in and reveal all the plans this film has in the end.   Will James Bond return in our hearts? Press play to find out.

Would you spend the night in a haunted location? That’s the question we’re asking on this episode of Baconsale. Our guest Beaker, a paranormal investigator, has chosen a list of 13 spooky (spoopy?) places from around the world, including the Banff Springs Hotel in Canada, the Castle of Good Hope in South Africa, Isla de las Muñecas in Mexico, Bhangarh Fort in India, Poveglia Island in Italy, the Winchester Mystery House in California, and the Tower of London in…London. We’ll give the history of each haunt and then each decide if we would stay there alone. Feel free to play along!   We hope you enjoy your stay. Press play for your free hauntinential breakfast.

We talk about scary movies a lot on Baconsale, so we decided to switch things up and kick off the spooky season by having a discussion about scary video games. Kent, Joel & Zack are digging up ghosts from their past and chronologically sharing their creepy experiences with horror games on the PC, NES, PlayStation, Nintendo GameCube, Xbox 360, and more. And as we side-scroll through our pixelated memories, you’ll learn about what truly frightens us—including zombies, ghosts, aliens, demons, sharks, hallways, tentacles & bubbles.   Reload! Then press play to vanquish the horrible night.

BACONSALE! I WOULD LIKE TO DO A REVIEW OF THE VENOM SEQUEL! Sounds like a plan. Kent & Joel watched Venom: Let There Be Carnage, and they’re ready to share their thoughts and feelings about the movie on this BaconBit. WE’RE GOING TO RIP IT APART! No, we’re going to review it. I WANT TO EAT IT! You want to eat the review? That…doesn’t even make sense. Anyway, we also give a little backstory about Carnage who-HE’S A RED ONE! Yes, that’s true. AND HE’S SYMBIOTIC WITH CASSIUS CLAY! You mean Cletus Kasady. WHATEVER! And don’t worry, the first part of this review is spoiler-free.   Press play to root for the anti-hero. YOU MEAN LETHAL PROTECTOR! Whatever.

Books are a uniquely portable magic, and few authors have captured that dark magic more than Stephen King. Our friend Nicole is joining us to talk about the King of Horror and sneakily inch Baconsale closer to our October episodes. She & Kent have read many of King’s novels, and they’re going to recommend their favorites to you and try to not spend too much time talking about The Dark Tower. Joel then jumps in as we discuss the best & worst movie adaptations of Stephen King’s works. And Zack mostly communicates with us telepathically.   Whether you're a Phoner or a pantser, don’t be scared by the number of pages, press play!

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Baconsale! On this episode, Joel and Kent are taking a walk down memory lane and sharing stories about the various bands they’ve seen live. Zack joins in when he feels like it, but he mostly only attends symphonies. You’ll learn a lot about us as we reveal which concerts we’ve chosen for such categories as Made You Like the Band More, Dullest Performance, Best Showmanship/Audience Interaction, Worst Concert Experience, and Band You Wish You Could Have Seen. Also, listener be warned, Kent shares a brief, yet disturbingly violent mosh pit story.   Raise your lighters (or phone flashlights) high, sway back and forth, and press play!

It’s been a few years since Baconsale ranked Disney princesses, so Kris Anderson is joining Kent, Joel & Zack in the Baconcave to flip the script and tier the male protagonists (and deuteragonists) in Disney movies. Much like our princess show, we’re not just ranking these animated characters based on their looks, we’re also taking into consideration their personality, the movie’s quality, their skills & motivation, their princely-ness and, apparently, how awesome their hair is. Not every prince is charming, and they’re not all technically princes, but we’re still ready to wield the mighty microphone of truth and the sturdy shield of Baconscience.   Press play to learn when Prince Eric’s birthday is as well as Simba’s astrological sign.

You know how weather forecasters on TV try to predict what may or may not occur in the future? That’s kind of what is happening on this episode of Baconsale. Kent and Joel have each picked five movies they want to flop and five movies they want to see, but we’re not entirely certain that these films will even be released this year. Everything keeps getting pushed back! Still, we’re going to hope for the best and offer you this guide to movies that probably possibly maybe could be coming out during the rest of 2021.   Watch out for movie bullies, join Team Kevin James, and get some insider trading info by pressing press play.

Do you know the story of Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings? Did you even know this movie was coming out? Because it doesn’t seem like Marvel is doing a great job of promoting this theater-exclusive kickoff to Phase 4 of the MCU. Nevertheless, Joel & Kent watched it and they’re ready to give their review. Will Kent embrace this movie with unfolded arms? Will Joel be satisfied with the explanations of the legends? Will names & locations be pronounced correctly? Regardless, we think you’ll get a KICK out of this BaconBit…and we’ll try to stop the corny puns there. Press play to hear a spoiler-free review followed by full spoilers.

Blutbad, Gelumcaedus, Wettbewerbsgewinner, these are just some of the words that we make Zack try to pronounce on this episode of Baconsale. Luckily, we have our friend Jessica Terry joining us in the Baconcave to help us out. She’s not an expert on German, but she is a big fan of Grimm, a supernatural police procedural that aired on NBC for six seasons. Jessica is going to explain why she feels Grimm is a TV show worth watching (and it’s not just because David Giuntoli is dreamy…though that helps) as we do our best to understand this television series inspired by Grimms’ Fairy Tales and explain it to you, the listener.   Press play to learn about Wesen, woging, voguing, and more!

We’re starting a new semester at Baconsale High School, which means it’s time to finalize our class schedule. However, instead of regular educators, Joel, Kent & Zack are each being assigned famous teachers from movies and TV shows. Mr. Feeny could be teaching them about literature, they may learn history from Indiana Jones, or Miss Frizzle might take them on a science field trip. It all comes down to the luck of the draw (or Zack rigging the system).   Press play to grade BHS students on plot synopses and celebrity impersonations!

We didn’t start the chicken sandwich wars but, by golly, we’re going to end them! For this episode of Baconsale, we’ve eaten pieces of premium poultry from 15 different restaurants, including Burger King, Chick-fil-A, Dairy Queen, KFC, McDonald’s, Popeyes & Wendy’s, and we’re going to rank them from worst to first using BaconScience. Plus, our hand-breaded friend, Jacob, has rejoined us for this fast-food challenge. Listen as we chat about our experiences, make some controversial choices, discuss bun quality, and use the word “moist” a little too often. Press play for some crispy, fried, southern-style podcasting!

Once again, Baconsale decided to turn the microphone over to you, the listener, and find out which questions you wanted us to answer. That means we’ll be discussing our favorite food challenge items, misguided bracket winners, imaginary friends, dream jobs, and our romantic histories. There is also some surprise nostalgia and references to were-dolphins. It’s a strange, self-appraising episode full of behind-the-scenes glimpses and some oddly deep discussions, all guided by your inquiries. Press play to find out which one of us loves drama queens!

During the Olympics, athletes from around the globe are judged by how fast, how strong, and how determined they are, but who is judging the games that they’re playing? On this episode of Baconsale, Kent, Joel, and Zack are ranking the sports played during the Summer Olympic Games, and we’re giving out medals for how inspiring, challenging, and watchable these events are. We’ve also formed the fictional country of Baconsalia and will be choosing a champion from our table to compete against the best athletes in the world. Press play to hear how many times the word “Speedo” is used!

Gather ‘round, children, and let Baconsale tell you the story of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie, Old. We’re going to review this film, and by review we mean tell you our opinions about its cinematography, acting, editing, and writing. And by our opinions, we mean how we felt as we were watching it and how it affected us after we left the theater. Are we overexplaining? It feels like we’re overexplaining. Anyway, the first part of this review is spoiler-free, which means we won’t be sharing any major plot points until the second part. Plus, we’ll give you sufficient warning before we start spoiling the movie. Press play to hear how much we age during this BaconBit.

Baconsale may not be great at geography, but we do know that our neighbors to the north have had a profound effect on pop culture. That’s why we’re dedicating this episode to America’s Hat, a.k.a. Canada. In honor of the 10 provinces and three territories in the Great White North, Kent & Joel have picked answers for 13 categories, including Best Band, Favorite TV Show, Funniest Comedian, Worst Export, and Voice Like Maple Syrup. Zack has also created a quiz to test their Canadian knowledge in between each round. Sounds like fun, eh? Press play to hear us try to be nice while sometimes being mean.