Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

It’s been a few years since Baconsale ranked Disney princesses, so Kris Anderson is joining Kent, Joel & Zack in the Baconcave to flip the script and tier the male protagonists (and deuteragonists) in Disney movies. Much like our princess show, we’re not just ranking these animated characters based on their looks, we’re also taking into consideration their personality, the movie’s quality, their skills & motivation, their princely-ness and, apparently, how awesome their hair is. Not every prince is charming, and they’re not all technically princes, but we’re still ready to wield the mighty microphone of truth and the sturdy shield of Baconscience.   Press play to learn when Prince Eric’s birthday is as well as Simba’s astrological sign.

You know how weather forecasters on TV try to predict what may or may not occur in the future? That’s kind of what is happening on this episode of Baconsale. Kent and Joel have each picked five movies they want to flop and five movies they want to see, but we’re not entirely certain that these films will even be released this year. Everything keeps getting pushed back! Still, we’re going to hope for the best and offer you this guide to movies that probably possibly maybe could be coming out during the rest of 2021.   Watch out for movie bullies, join Team Kevin James, and get some insider trading info by pressing press play.

Do you know the story of Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings? Did you even know this movie was coming out? Because it doesn’t seem like Marvel is doing a great job of promoting this theater-exclusive kickoff to Phase 4 of the MCU. Nevertheless, Joel & Kent watched it and they’re ready to give their review. Will Kent embrace this movie with unfolded arms? Will Joel be satisfied with the explanations of the legends? Will names & locations be pronounced correctly? Regardless, we think you’ll get a KICK out of this BaconBit…and we’ll try to stop the corny puns there. Press play to hear a spoiler-free review followed by full spoilers.

Blutbad, Gelumcaedus, Wettbewerbsgewinner, these are just some of the words that we make Zack try to pronounce on this episode of Baconsale. Luckily, we have our friend Jessica Terry joining us in the Baconcave to help us out. She’s not an expert on German, but she is a big fan of Grimm, a supernatural police procedural that aired on NBC for six seasons. Jessica is going to explain why she feels Grimm is a TV show worth watching (and it’s not just because David Giuntoli is dreamy…though that helps) as we do our best to understand this television series inspired by Grimms’ Fairy Tales and explain it to you, the listener.   Press play to learn about Wesen, woging, voguing, and more!

We’re starting a new semester at Baconsale High School, which means it’s time to finalize our class schedule. However, instead of regular educators, Joel, Kent & Zack are each being assigned famous teachers from movies and TV shows. Mr. Feeny could be teaching them about literature, they may learn history from Indiana Jones, or Miss Frizzle might take them on a science field trip. It all comes down to the luck of the draw (or Zack rigging the system).   Press play to grade BHS students on plot synopses and celebrity impersonations!

We didn’t start the chicken sandwich wars but, by golly, we’re going to end them! For this episode of Baconsale, we’ve eaten pieces of premium poultry from 15 different restaurants, including Burger King, Chick-fil-A, Dairy Queen, KFC, McDonald’s, Popeyes & Wendy’s, and we’re going to rank them from worst to first using BaconScience. Plus, our hand-breaded friend, Jacob, has rejoined us for this fast-food challenge. Listen as we chat about our experiences, make some controversial choices, discuss bun quality, and use the word “moist” a little too often. Press play for some crispy, fried, southern-style podcasting!

Once again, Baconsale decided to turn the microphone over to you, the listener, and find out which questions you wanted us to answer. That means we’ll be discussing our favorite food challenge items, misguided bracket winners, imaginary friends, dream jobs, and our romantic histories. There is also some surprise nostalgia and references to were-dolphins. It’s a strange, self-appraising episode full of behind-the-scenes glimpses and some oddly deep discussions, all guided by your inquiries. Press play to find out which one of us loves drama queens!

During the Olympics, athletes from around the globe are judged by how fast, how strong, and how determined they are, but who is judging the games that they’re playing? On this episode of Baconsale, Kent, Joel, and Zack are ranking the sports played during the Summer Olympic Games, and we’re giving out medals for how inspiring, challenging, and watchable these events are. We’ve also formed the fictional country of Baconsalia and will be choosing a champion from our table to compete against the best athletes in the world. Press play to hear how many times the word “Speedo” is used!

Gather ‘round, children, and let Baconsale tell you the story of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie, Old. We’re going to review this film, and by review we mean tell you our opinions about its cinematography, acting, editing, and writing. And by our opinions, we mean how we felt as we were watching it and how it affected us after we left the theater. Are we overexplaining? It feels like we’re overexplaining. Anyway, the first part of this review is spoiler-free, which means we won’t be sharing any major plot points until the second part. Plus, we’ll give you sufficient warning before we start spoiling the movie. Press play to hear how much we age during this BaconBit.

Baconsale may not be great at geography, but we do know that our neighbors to the north have had a profound effect on pop culture. That’s why we’re dedicating this episode to America’s Hat, a.k.a. Canada. In honor of the 10 provinces and three territories in the Great White North, Kent & Joel have picked answers for 13 categories, including Best Band, Favorite TV Show, Funniest Comedian, Worst Export, and Voice Like Maple Syrup. Zack has also created a quiz to test their Canadian knowledge in between each round. Sounds like fun, eh? Press play to hear us try to be nice while sometimes being mean.

See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls us. And no one knows how far each Disney song goes. Nevertheless, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to Try Everything to finish this bracket. You’re Welcome! It’s A Whole New World now, with some of the biggest hits going up against each other, but that’s just the Circle of Life on these kinds of tournaments. In the end, I’ve Got a Dream that we’ll be heroes and not villains in your eyes. Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho! Press play to let us be Part of Your World. Visit Baconsale.com to print your own advanced Disney song bracket.

Look at this bracket? Isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think our collection’s complete? On this episode of Baconsale, we’re putting the greatest Disney songs Out There against each other. We’re also launching Into the Unknown during this musical tournament, as the seeding is a Reflection of the number of Spotify streams each song has. Kent, Joel, and Zack are only moving One Jump Ahead this time, but Be Prepared for some anger and Hellfire, as well as the realization that sometimes you have to just Let It Go. Be Our Guest to this animated animosity, listener, and press play! Print out our official Disney song bracket and find our Spotify playlist at Baconsale.com.

After first being introduced to the Marvel Cinematic Universe 11 years ago in Iron Man 2, and after ***spoiler alert*** her death in Avengers: Endgame two years ago, ***end of spoilers*** Natasha Romanoff is finally getting her own standalone movie. But is Black Widow the MCU film we’ve been waiting for? Zack and Joel would tell you, but they weren’t able to see the screener before it expired, which means that Kent is reviewing this one solo. In fact, when we finally get into the spoiler section of this review, Joel will leave the room, so you’ll know when they’re coming. Press play to hear how much Kent likes violence.

The hills are alive with the sound of tierings! On this episode of Baconsale, we’re ranking some of the most popular musicals that made the leap from stage to screen. It’s the Hard Knock Life for a few of the films we talk about, but At the End of The Day we definitely have our favorites. So join Kent, Joel, and Zack as we expose geographical lies, use the Snyder Cut as a unit of measurement, sing when we’re filled with emotion, and All that Jazz. Don’t be Iowa Stubborn! Press play!

Don’t touch that remote, listener! On this episode of Baconsale we’re talking TV. Our guest, Brayden, came up with a series of categories such as The One with the Best Standalone Episodes, The One That Everyone Forgot About Once It Was Over, and The One That Got Canceled Too Early. Kent & Joel will try their best to not repeat answers from previous episodes, but it’s gonna happen because there are certain shows we contractually must mention on every television-themed episode. Press play to hear Brayden count Kent’s sins while agreeing with Joel.

Nine movies? There are now nine movies in the Fast & Furious franchise? Apparently so, and on this BaconBit Kent is ready to review F9, also known as Fast & Furious 9, also known as F9: The Fast Saga. Joel is really bothered at the lack of consistency to the film’s names, by the way. Kent does his best to keep the first part spoiler free, so people that haven’t seen the movie can still listen, but near the end he explodes in a rant about space NOS. Then, after we drift into spoiler territory, Kent recounts some of this movie’s most ridiculous moments to Zack & Joel, who don’t care if the movie is spoiled for them because at this point in the franchise, it really doesn’t matter. Watch out for magic magnets, listener, and press play!

Why did Baconsale eat every item on the Subway menu? Because it was there. And because, believe it or not, Subway is the largest fast-food restaurant chain in the world! It was quite the feat to conquer this Mt. Everest of menu quests, but Kent, Joel & Zack did it, and now they’re ready to talk about their favorite and least favorite sandwiches, salads, protein bowls, wraps, sauces, breads, and toppings. We’ll also discuss the company’s history, glitchy app ordering, warm ranch aversion, and napkin experiences. Do you want to eat fresh? Then press play, sandwich artists!

Did you see In the Heights when it first premiered on stage in 2005? Or did you wait until Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first musical hit Broadway in 2008? Regardless, the film adaptation is in theaters now and on HBO Max, so Baconsale is ready to review it. Zack has been a fan of the music for a while, whereas Joel & Kent are new to this story. And the first part of this review is spoiler-free, so even if you haven’t seen the movie, you can still hear our thoughts on it. Piragua! There are 96,000 reasons to press play.

Gimme a break! Is Baconsale really going to spend an entire episode talking about old commercial jingles? Uh-huh! After all, we don’t want to grow up. And fresh goes better with friends fresh & full of life, which is why Kent & Joel are joined by our guest Teri, who’s more than just a “filler” for Zack. Join us as we pick short, catchy tunes for such categories as Best Toy Jingle, Most Annoying, Most Enduring, and Won’t Leave Your Head. We would apologize for the earworms, but we had to suffer through them, too. Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too? Then press play!

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Baconsale is dedicating an entire episode to the legendary British band, Queen. This classic rock group has A Kind of Magic that’s hard to explain, and we’re Under Pressure because there’s a lot of musical ground to cover, but The Show Must Go On. We’ll be starting with the history of the band, and then we’ll wait for the Hammer to Fall as we each rank our top five and bottom five Queen songs. Zack has some more controversial takes, Kent keeps talking about “the movie,” and Joel exposes some shocking subliminal messages. Keep Yourself Alive by pressing play, and Play the Game along with us.