Super Pee Pee Time

Sit in a tub of egg nog and your own holiday sauces...and listen in as Reg and John present all the best and most frightening home shopping deals on holiday toys. For your children*! *Do not give these toys to your children. Especially the one with the diarrhea moat and the toy that 'protrudes its knowingness'...Whatever that entails. Also, in the future, please let's not mic the elves.

Well, well. Episode 21. TWENTY ONE! Our little podcast is all grown up. It can even have its first legal drink, if weeks were years and podcasts were vomiting college students subject to laws. And aren't they? They are. We begin with Cade not feeling great due to eating something called "Goo Goo Clusters." Mac has not heard of this, and they explore. Then... THE HOLIDAY BLOWOUT SALE: The Xmas Superstore has all the deals you can stand, but not too many that you can understand. ...and... THAT ONE BLACK FRIDAY when things went wrong. Very wrong. Like, the kind of wrong when someone named 'Spatula Girl' wants to 'pone' you. And you admit that you want that to occur. For money. Also, people turn into a gas for some reason.

Because we are so thankful for you, the mentally...er...different fans of SPPT, we offer you two alternate universe Thanksgiving pieces for your pleasure and joy. Listen closely to the place where the stuffing goes into the turkey. Emanating from there you will hear: --A very, very carefully researched (obviously) documentary on the origins of the Thanksgiving tradition. I mean, it's us doing it, so we only sort of do that. Then, it's on to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! One of our most tedious traditions, but not on Super Pee Pee Time. This parade has a body count, nudity, and balloons that should never have been described. Enjoy! Get it on your phone to enjoy while you're sneaking off to avoid your families!

By the end of this one, we get so deep into Pee Pee language, it's as if we both had a stroke. Like, we shared a single stroke between us and passed it back and forth like a tank of nitrous. Listen as we sail off together into the lake of insanity. First of all, who knew a dog show was a Thanksgiving tradition? Cade knew this. So we did it. It's unclear if we talk about more things that are NOT dogs than things that ARE dogs. But who can be sure? You can't. You'll get: A disembodied leopard forehead. Mr Buns A walking potato fecal monster A library fiend and it's all brought to you by Bolognaface Enjoy!

This one's kind of a weird one. I mean, they all are. But it starts off normal weird, and it gets weird-weird. -We begin with the Gianetti brothers tantalizing your tastebuds with a description of their Thanksgiving menu, and the rich, totally true history of the delicious items on it. -Then a brief interlude where Cade tries to convince Mac that Target cupcakes are not disgusting. Unsuccessfully. -And finally, we don't know what this one is. Two weird old guys discussing...something? And trying to do a crossword puzzle? Kind of? It's something. Definitely something.

Some of your old friends are back for more idiocy and dumbfoolery. Don't leave them hanging, yo. DO NOT LEAVE THEM HANGING, PLEASE, YO, PLEASE. YO. Seriously, yo. First up, Beatrice is visiting Mama down at the police station. Mama has been involved in several activities that have run afoul of the laws of man and nature. Will she see reason and stop her Mama-esque ways? (hint: probably not.) Tarleton and Wilter are back to tell you of the Wonders of Space! These 2 characters go off the rails almost the instant they are born, and they really just never come back.(BONUS CREDIT: Listen closely for the moment when Tarleton can't for the life of him remember the word "spaceship.")

This Creature Double Feature is what happens when we get overstimulated about a holiday special. Sound effects, music, and major idiocy. Doesn't make a lot of sense, but neither does dressing up as a princess and asking strangers for candy, so... Turn off all the lights, go get your kid's Halloween candy, turn back on the lights because you banged your shin on something while getting the candy in the dark...but then LISTEN, and you will hear... PART ONE: The Devil and Miss Carol -- in this, SandwichNurse Carol is brought into the secret circle of demon worshippers who intend to use her to complete the ritual. Does she help? Do you THINK she helps? PART TWO: Haunted Pee Pee Manor -- this is the classic "survive the night in a haunted mansion" story, except there are several twists that even we don't totally follow. Mac chooses the worst of all possible names for one of his characters, and Cade is plagued by a hair on his pop filter. GOOD HOLIDAY STUPID HOLIDAY STUPID FUN!

SUPER CREE-PEE TIME, VOLUME ONE... Well, folks, it's Episode 15, and we've finally made it to our very first HOLIDAY SPECIAL!! We got so excited, we recorded too much Halloween stuff. Like, more than 2 episodes-worth. So you're getting 2 weeks of SUPER CREE-PEE TIME!!! This week, we revisit our old friends, Reverend Ben and his sidekick Donald (from way back in "Episode 2: The Lord Walks with an Iron Head") as they warn you of the Satanic nature of Halloween, and what you can do about it. In this episode, you will learn: -How to protect your family from demonic entities by pretending to be a lamp or filling a sleeping bag with various things. -Why black cats are unlucky, and why they may or may not explode -Where the word "Halloween" comes from. -Many readings from the bible, including one in which Mac started laughing so hard, he actually, LITERALLY became afraid that he was going to give himself a stroke. PLUS we have many spooky Halloween Superstore commercials, to meet all your Halloween needs! Come

This episode is divided into two halves. They are not equal in duration, and therefore are not halves. Everything you have learned so far is a lie! Let's start over. We want to earn back your trust. PARTS. It is divided into two PARTS. Here they are: A mouth, eye, and ear-watering description of a seasonal tasting menu by our old friends, THE GIANETTI BROTHERS, who are split on whether or not you already know what a doorknob tastes like. Then it's time for THE TOWN MEETING, where congressman Donnelly airs his grievances to the chairman. Of something. We hear from all sides -- citizens, financial entities, and an inter-dimensional entity who is eventually named Veegoth. Veegoth does one-man shows.

Well, well, well. Here we are. Lucky thirteen. And you're still here! YOU, the imaginary person that I am talking to right now. We're both still here, you and I. And together, we are an idiot. As proof, I give you, the Super Pee Pee Time rendition of Jack & the Beanstalk! Starts off on the wrong foot, and only gets onto weirder and weirder feet. Just listen and you will hear... -Cade's inexplicably successful and/or unsuccessful attempts to make theme music on something called a "giggle box." I think. -Many things that Jack might get in exchange for his cow before they get to the magic beans. -There's a shovel that talks. We didn't mean to do that. It just happened. -Some good relationship work between Jack and Shovel. -A commentary on the inconsistent quality of Giant-style poetry. -A horrible moral that we can't even take credit for. It's built in. Join us, won't you?

Well, cowlasses and cowlads. Cowpokes and cowplops. Cowdogs and cowbirds. This is it. This is the exciting conclusion to the epic Super Pee Pee Time wild west tale, "Danger on the Trail." This time, we will find out: -How will Uncle Sasquatch react to having all of his men gunned down? Well, or kind of not that great, really? -Who will come to Jessup's aid in his hour of need? And will they likely be very, very helpful? (Hint: not very helpful, probably) -Will the gunfight make any sense at all, and/or will Cade and Mac be able to navigate the soundcues therein? -Will Jessup survive to see Ellie Mae? -AND MORE. Not much more. BUT SOME MORE.

DANGER ON THE TRAIL! A Super Pee Pee Time wild west adventure that ran so long, it spans TWO episodes. In part one, we meet a town under the influence of an unfortunately named cattle baron, and an unlikely hero returns to town where his old flame awaits. Cattle rustlin', hornswagglin', gun fightin', guitar strummin' and really, the worst name for a villain we could possibly have come up with. Also, a bunch of other incredibly dumb stuff happens. I mean, honestly. BONUS SCENE: Two noble superheroes battle for justice. Probably, I guess. But they are not in this scene. There are two other superheroes in this scene. They are working on a plan to battle for justice. They'll get around to it at some point.

The 10th episode! That's the tin anniversary! Buy us tin! And listen to this idiocy! For our anniversary! Just think, it was only ten short episodes ago that there was no Super Pee Pee Time. YOU'RE WELCOME, UNIVERSE AND ALTERNATE UNIVERSES. -"Dr Pepper Lady" in which Cade speaks with a miserable woman who believes her longevity is due to soda. They discuss the fine line between continence and incontinence. -"The Old Timers" in which we hear the awful recollections of two nostalgic morons. Listen closely for Cade's 18th use of the made-up word "Appletown" during our 10 episodes. -"Donkey Sense Electrician" in which Mac interviews an electrician who can sense explosive devices through a power similar to the beans that shoot out of Wolverine's balls. -"The Job Interview" in which Mac and Cade look at a few candidates for a financial planning position. They're all doing great.

It's a Gianetti sandwich. A Gianetti-sode, filled with all the fanciest tastes and flavors that you will enjoy. And also some stuff that actually frightened Cade. Today, you'll hear: -Frank and Joe Gianetti walk you through one of their fanciest menus yet, discussing whether you really should eat edible gold leaf, even though it says you can right in the name. -Based on a real news item, Cade interviews Vincenzo Aiello, an Italian sculptor who misses a delicate part of his body that was taken from him before he even had the chance to enjoy it. -Callers phone in their favorite recipes to a recipe hotline, horrifying Cade in the process. -The Gianetti brothers return with another fancy menu, and some insight into how hard it can be to time goat suction.

This episode features a huge milestone: for the very first time, you will hear Mac actually remember his character's name ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE SCENE. It's only one of the scenes, and it probably won't happen again. First up...Mama & Beatrice are back! Beatrice is concerned about Mama's health habits of crouching in places and "apple picking", and decides to end their relationship over a pork recipe. We then move a news item with Mac interviewing Ted, an easily offended and sexually conflicted lobster, who escaped a delivery truck and then was recaptured. And finally, "Loving on Time" is a relationship advice show helping people by not helping them at all. There is an on-air wedding proposal. Everyone is helped, maybe. SPECIAL BONUS: The actual moment when Mama and Beatrice were born. Figuratively, not literally or biologically. But still pretty gross.

Let's take it down a notch. No? All right. Let's do something really odd and incomprehensible. Good. That works better for us anyway. First, we do a science documentary. In a way. Sure we do that. It's a premise we don't know anything about, explaining phenomena we can't understand. Kool Aid molecules and yo-yos are mentioned. What do you want, we have BFAs. Then, it's time for SPACE PATROL! The beleaguered captain of a starship shouts at his first officer. He says her name many, many times. It's Judy. (But it's also kind of Sandwich Nurse Carol.) And finally, the Gianetti brothers will tantalize your tastebuds while confusing themselves and you with the menu for their new restaurant. We used an actual menu, but we don't know enough about fancy cuisine for it to have done any harm.

This one starts off almost kind of poignant. Well, as poignant as it could be while two people are handcuffed to one another without explanation. -A weird kid and a weird man go for a weird walk, selling things they don't have yet. They are handcuffed together for no real reason. They are friends. -Do you want to learn to make crafts? Just kind of general "crafts" and you don't need to get much more specific than that? Jeannie and Charlotte can help! Kind of!

It all starts almost sensibly. But by the end, it kind of sailed away for a while there. Not a lot. A little. Or a lot depending upon how you measure these things.... -First, Cade interviews a man who tapes iguanas to a bicycle. It's based on a true story. Seriously. (Obviously it took place in Florida.) -Then, Mac interviews an expert(?) on apples(?) and they go to the phones for some excellent(?) questions(?). -We then do many, many commercials. Or maybe one long one. Hard to say. Lot of words that aren't words, and things that aren't things. Probably some people that aren't people. Apples are mentioned again, though, so that's nice. -We close with a telethon to benefit people who can't see bologna. Or maybe just one person who can't see it.

In this thrilling episode, we learn a lot about...nothing. We learn nothing. But we are fine people who mean well. - Two religious leaders discuss what is and isn't inspired by the devil, and how not to make s'mores. -Mac and Cade make up two children's stories that Cade incorrectly insists are just like regular children's stories. -Cade interviews Satan himself. They discuss tiger shorts. -Greg and Polly (I think) sell some...items on a Home Shopping show. They're items.

Listen with your ears as... -Nurse Carol is unable and unwilling to help anybody -Citizens partake in a fairly serious misuse of a police tip line -Reverend Ben and his intrepid something, Donald, save souls and describe raffle prizes for the upcoming church social.