Super Pee Pee Time

A little something for everyone in this episode. Everyone likes guided meditations, stories about talking dogs that are slowly becoming peanuts and rockin' sports movie music, right? We sing, we laugh, we pretend to be animals. Something for everyone. And this is for them. You. You are the them this is for. 00:00 GUIDED MEDITATION - Don't listen to this while you're lifting heavy machinery. Or doing anything, really. Or else the stuff in your overalls will get lazy. 12:55 HANDY & FINCHY'S BIG ADVENTURE - A boy and his talking dog get lost in the wilderness, sell a wax pony together, and finally find their way back home. I guess. And yet only one of them considers the other one a friend. 31:03 STRAIGHT TO THE TOP - A young man's struggle to become a champion at a...sport? Sure. Sure it is. We sing in this one. AND PLEASE OH PLEASE -- Don't forget to subscribe and review on iTunes, and come say hi on Twitter, which is where we live.

This is another one that was almost too weird to post. But if you've followed us this far - 41 EPISODES - clearly...I mean, what else can we do? We're stuck with each other, and that's a beautiful, upsetting thing. 0:00: COMMERCIAL: for something. A donation corporation, it seems, which is not a thing. It's hard to be sure. 2:42: THE INVASION: When a man with a hat made of ham assaults a military base, what do you think is going to happen? I mean, he'll be obliterated, clearly. But what if he has help? YOU DON'T KNOW, that's right. We don't know either. Listen and find out. 10:32: THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY: The main event. The champ, the challenger, a sentient tackle box, a red plastic chimp, a chicken ouster, and a murderous dough making machine all battle it out for the title. Who will win? Who will care? YOU will. That is who will care.

Want to make your party special? Fancy? Want to make your pampers waxy? Want a turkey that dresses up like a duck and goes down to the duck Port Authority to solicit actual ducks? Want a batloaf that is missing that one key ingredient -- hope? Who knows what you want? But master chefs Rene and Charlene are here to help. With something. They want to park in your hamper. They want a lot of things. They mostly want you to listen to this. It's brought to you by Davidson's Hot Dogs, Waterman Bread, the Gianetti Brothers, and some other stuff we don't even understand, and we made it up.

Some of this episode nearly got too weird even for us. VOTE FOR TONY BERULLIO (0:00) - When your county is in a dirty state of mind, who do you turn to? Tony Berullio, that's who. Your mom's attache environment will never be safer. Yeah. We don't know. SOUNDS OF THE 50s (9:10) - Your heart will knit itself a new sweater when it hears about this collection of...music? Songs? Something. HEALTH SYSTEMS INFOMERCIAL (14:30) - A new way to burst through your clothes and be healthy. Sort of. This scene features the first insane dog that Mac plays in this episode. COURTROOM DRAMA,WE GUESS (22:00) - This one...we just don't know, guys. There's another dog. A dinosaur. There's a judge and lawyers, kind of. Hard to really say what's going on here. Cade's recording booth this week was a pillow fort he had to lie down in, and at one point the position he was in almost made him poop from laughing, so there's that. IF YOU ARE READING THIS...yes, you. Please, oh please, won't you subscribe to this madness on iTunes, S

Have you ever wanted to make a craft at home using only cobra licensing materials? Ever wanted to hear all about gravy that is understandable but not enjoyable? No, of course not, no one has. But that's why you're here. You SHOULD want those things. And Charlotte and Jeanie, the Craft Ladies, will show you how. I mean, kind of. They'll discuss several crafts, none of which are very clear. They speak with Grandma Sophie and Uncle Fred, both avid crafters. I guess. This episode is just full of the kind of gravitas and somberness that you have come to expect from Super Pee Pee Time. So set your choosing ray on "uh huh" and listen away. Also, take a second to subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud or wherever you listen to this nonsense. And leave us a killer review, why don't you?

Folks, if this episode doesn't have it, you don't want it. Unless you wanted people who know how to freestyle rap to do some freestyle rap. We don't have that. We begin...with the humiliation of middle-aged white men freestyle rapping. We recorded this pretty sure we weren't even going to use it, but it's just so god damned fun, we thought "Why not?" Take a listen, and you'll know the answer to that question. And then, your old friends Reverend Ben and Donald discuss the evils of the Easter Bunny. It's all in there. Delicious candies, porpoises, a papal porcupine on a golf cart, shoeing a raccoon, Mac gets the gold medal for "yes-and" and much, much more. And while you're at it, why not subscribe? Or leave a kick ass review? Or share it with a friend or a really weird stranger? Spread the gospel, people, lest you be taken over by a demon that felt its way to the state championship in backgammon.

The game's afoot!...is one catchphrase normally found in a Sherlock Holmes story that you will not hear during this episode because, well, we probably forgot about it. Holmes and Watson were far too busy solving the case of a missing man who was missing even more than he usually was. Well, Holmes, Watson, and the grapefruit-headed man who was hired to be Watson's potential replacement. Yeah. Yeah, this one gets a little weird. As do they all, you might say. How true. But! In this one, you will be astounded by Holmes's brilliance, his ability to deduce where a certain bird lives in Minneapolis, and all that sort of thing. And Holmes and Watson will attempt to defeat their old nemesis, Moriarty...for some reason. I'm not totally sure we even explain what he has to do with anything. Fun! IF YOU ARE A FAN...would you consider giving us a really nice review on the iTunes? Subscribing to our weekly foolery on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud or what have you? Sharing with a friend? With an enemy? With a nemesis?

This week, we return to the world of SUPERGALACTIC (from Episode 28 which you don't need to listen to first, but...I mean, you should...) with all the high drama, the characters, the incredibly brief outline, and the inability to even follow an incredibly brief outline. Also, Cade gets a hilarious charley horse. The evil overlord Regent Kroesh and Commander Beelok (and/or Beelar at various times) try to decide whether or not to send everyone to prison or just call the current location a prison to save time. He also wants Commander Beelok's mom to make him some of her galaxy-famous crafts. Reluctant heroes Strider Zorn and Grunk form an uneasy alliance and escape to Zorn's ship. The ship's computer senses and meets Zorn's every want and need. I mean, kind of. Finally, Zorn and Grunk arrive on the homeworld of Greelop Nor, a notorious criminal and space pirate, for help. But at what price? Also, Nor's courtesans make offers that seem vaguely sexual, but honestly, it's hard to tell. It's both too vague and t

This episode has everything from the wonders of children learning about science to the magic of adults being fooled by a seance. And nothing in between. That's what it has. 0:00-- SCIENCE WITH KEVIN A science show for children or really uninformed adults. We have guests, and a very important training film from the 60s that includes a raccoon eyebrow jacket, and the rubbing of a mountain lion as a romantic gesture. Then Horace the Animal Guy brings by some of his friends, including a lizard that tastes like ham and a bag of mice. 29:00 --MISTRESS CAVALARI A medium attempts to contact the other side for several clients. One is looking for a shoe that she once named. Another wants to talk to a victim of a whaling burn accident who left a grey shirt somewhere. You'll hear what she will and won't accept as payment, and the joke psychics never tell. Please subscribe, review, share with your weirdo friends, and all those other things that sexy people like you do!

This episode has it all. Forks that don't resist adjustment, absurd fire engines. All the basics. First, we take you all the way back to characters you haven't heard since episode one. ONE. Do you have any idea what number the number one is? Yeah, yeah, sure you do. The inventors from episode one are back with some more of their brilliant ideas. And as if that wasn't enough brilliant ideas (and once you've listened, I'm sure you'll agree that it wasn't) we're holding an open pitch meeting, where anybody can pitch us a movie idea. We've got an anatomically correct phone with make believe genitals, a sewer princess, and, as promised, Angela Lansbury as a crouton. If you enjoy, why not subscribe. On Soundcloud, on iTunes, on Stitcher or even on Werpler, which amazingly is the only one of those things that is made up.

Ok. Ok. This episode is all over the place. Just all over it. The place, I'm saying. It's all over that. The place is all under this episode. Interrupted by a series of commercials, our old friend Carol is escorted through the wild of the Australian outback, where she learns many things that just can not be true. It will bring joy to your doe-poe, which is a word that Carol's guide will need to translate for you.

Ah, Valentine's Day, when an ancient poet with a hand for a head whispers your name. Right? Yes. But before we get to that, we begin with the semi-triumphant return of storybook theater (you might remember the first time we did this in "Episode 4: That's Not How You Make S'mores", or you might have blocked that from your thoughts.) Today is the story of a little girl, a pope (not THE pope, though) and some kind of dark shit. Then, it's time for the Gianetti brothers as they entice you and your sweetheart with, among other things, a cheese that was made by a llama on its birthday. Subscribe now and you'll get a coupon for a free ocelot*. (*no)

This is what happens when two people who don't know about football or the news do football and the news. This also marks a first. The first time one of us bails out on a scene completely because it went a little off the rails. Luckily, we started again and it went much, much more off of them. There's a news report about a fire that has caught fire, a man who has trained an animal of some kind (that really is as much as I remember about that) and a hostage situation with jazzmophones. And then, the pregame coverage for the Big Game. The Super Bowl, maybe, though we do mention quite a number of teams, so it's hard to tell. The national anthem of...somewhere...is sung. This is what happens when we just have no idea at all what we're going to do and then DO THAT THING.

Which animal gets its fishing rod caught as it runs through trees? Which creature of the African plains has a natural ability to hide in scuba classes? Does a parrot really need a sickle to hunt berries? And what does a cheetah need to do to make a flute sound? All these questions and many more will be left unanswered as our intrepid explorers, Tarleton and Wilter, take you on a guided tour of the dark continent. This one really just never bothers to even get on the rails in the first place.

Spaceships, bar fights, and would you accept a peach gorilla? You know, sometimes here at Super Pee Pee Time Studios, one of us will jot down an outline for us to work with. Just a short paragraph so we can follow a storyline...which would be great, except the other one of us doesn't remember what is IN that paragraph. And then this episode happens. So much fun. And a lot easier than two whole people having to understand an entire paragraph, you'll surely agree. This is the story of Strider Zorn, intergalactic pirate and mercenary and his old nemesis, Grunk. And a weird guy named Jorak Mult who needs their help, and loves his money holders. And an evil dictator named Regent Kroesh who wants to do evil things. And peach gorillas, squared off pralines and more. Oh, and an unexpected visit from a member of Zorn's family... After SuperGalactic, there's a quick hitter of people calling into a talent agency, looking for representation. Enjoy it in questionable sanity.

After last week's screaming, howling lunacy fest, lets bring it down a little. How about a couple of British auctioneers selling items, and taking bids in such denominations as a "hair house inhabited by a triscuit"? Does that work? Great. Also, two drunks at a bar discuss how...honestly I don't remember what they discussed. The invention of the train and a grasshopper needle face, I believe? So that probably helps you understand perfectly. Whew!

We made a couple pieces of music, and just saw what would happen if we talked over them. This is what happened. We lost more and more of our minds and we end up with Cade literally offering an unconditional surrender. You'll hear us bouncing back and forth between commercials for a car lot and commercials for...honestly we have no idea what. (Listen closely as Hal Embry of Hal Embry Ford says "that's right" every single time in confirmation of the most insane things ever said on earth.)

As we move into 2016, we just want to thank you all so much for listening to our new, you know, thing. We love knowing that there are people out there who like this. Maybe even as much as we do. This episode is just full of the kind of stuff that, for some reason, you people have come to enjoy. It's a year-end telethon, featuring.... -Carol and Master Conversationalist hosting the "Ask Your Uncle Telethon" -Spleen advertisements -A really sad dog and his "trick" -the Gianetti brothers -Wilter and Tarleton -Corbin from the National Institute of Listening -Reverend Ben and Donald -I think some other people, but who knows?

Well, it's finally here. Christmas. And to celebrate, we here at Super Pee Pee Time have gotten you a wonderfully under-prepared gift. The magical tale of "A Miracle on 34th Street" as only two weirdos who haven't seen the film can tell it. We answer all the big questions: --Will Virginia get her wish (i.e. to have her mother transformed into a mythical creature) --Will Cade figure out how to use his voice changing device? --Will anything actually happen? WHO KNOWS? Honestly, we were there and aren't totally sure. Listen, enjoy, subscribe on iTunes or wherever, and tell a friend who needs nonsense during this holiday nightmare we call Christmas!

Ho-ho-holy shit. In this our...what is it, 3rd Christmas special? And this isn't even the last one. Anyway, this episode is packed FULL of holiday cheerfulness, enjoyfullness, bullshittery and ho-ho-hosiery! We've got: --Xmas Superstore Commercials --A holiday drama featuring Santa, Winkles, Ted and Beelo. RIVETING. --Returning champions Stephen and Mr. Welk hang Christmas lights and talk about what presents they're giving this year. --Carol takes a wrong turn and ends up at the North Pole. Does she meet Santa? Well, yeah, why the hell else would the North Pole be a factor this time of year? Obviously. If you like this, please subscribe on soundcloud, iTunes, Stitcher or wherever else you get your podcasts. Tell a friend. Tell a figgy pudding dispenser. TELL.