Super Pee Pee Time

We tried to think of a clever thing to say about the fact that it's our 62nd episode, but nothing notable happens on the 62nd time of anything. There might be something about taking money from your IRA without a penalty, but do we seem like the type of people who have IRAs? No. No, we don't. VLADIMIR AND VALERY'S NEW RADIO SHOW: When a radio producer stumbles across two Russian men "pillowing" themselves at the grocery store, that's when the magic happens. These two will answer any questions about your frog, maybe your frog's job, or just if your betrothed will turn into a frog. GERALDBURGER SPOT #92: REVEREND BEN & DONALD: Our two favorite men of the cloth are now official endorsers of the GeraldBurger. Hear about all the new menu items like a sweaty jackhammer, Chicken Knuckles in sleeve sauce, and a coupon for going home. If you enjoyed this, please-oh-please give us a nice review on iTunes (it really helps get our show out in front of new weirdos like you who don't know about us yet.) And stop by tw

Superheroes are born in the most unlikely of places. Or they will be at some point, presumably. We didn't really get around to much of the superhero elements of the superhero origins story. Kind of got bogged down in... that special way that we do. A HERO IS BORN: We meet Mr. Johannsen, evil corporate overlord and his faithful assistant, Tassie. They discuss ways of getting around government safety regulations, and also ways for Mr. Johannsen to "kelp himself." Also, Tassie is demoted for improperly tilting cranberries. Then we meet our hero. I mean, again, we guess we do that. Lowie, our fair-haired boy, is on the factory floor, a victim of a horrible accident, plus a really serious bout of what can only be called sensual harassment. GERALDBURGER ENDORSEMENT: STARMEK & ZEMILION-B -- You might remember these two from SuperGalactic, where they are the onboard computers on Strider Zorn's ship. But they have to eat too, and when they do, they go to GeraldBurger. Hear about all their favorite dishes, like Cham

This episode is full of things that it is full of. That's how you know it exists. Oh, we're sorry -- did we blow your mind? No? Hello? Wait, come back... THE NIGHTLY NEWS: A sports player feeling himself in American waters? A jury deciding what milk should be excited about? A concert with Dan Dimwit and his Horny Mule? Turn your backgammon sets on low and listen to the news. INVENTORS SYMPOSIUM: And then, it's the world of science, invention, and bologna-ists. Remote controls for your lunch, a dirty pouch of liniment, and underwater zebras. These are just some of the things...invented? And by whom? Well, Jeannie and Charlotte -- the craft ladies! And the Toy Inventors from episode 1! And Stephen & Mr. Welk! Get ready for that thing to happen where your eyes get really wet, I forget what it's called. And if you liked that, you'll love coming onto twitter and telling us how much you liked that. And/or going to iTunes and giving us a review, which REALLY helps us, and which also really makes us want to barf

It's a Ted the Lifecoach sandwich! Which is like a Christmas miracle, but it happens in August, and it refers to the nads of a milkmonster. So...those are just some of the differences between this episode and a Christmas miracle. We've got a whole boatload of intense movie trailer voiceovers. The hero, Mike Watkins, his intrepid friend, Harch, and Orky the evil robot will do battle. Mike's superpower is to smash a barstool down really hard. It takes some effort to picture exactly how that's going to help anything. And then, Ted the Lifecoach will make sure you have happles and not sad-pples. Ted will also get one of the worst and most hilarious charley horses of his career. So listen up, open your heat, and ride the monsignor because everything's going your way! And then, it's back to the movie trailer, in which one baby with his stupid little farty eyes will rise up and destroy the evil machines. Or something. And if you enjoyed this, well, tell that one weirdo friend you have. The one who worries you a

It's Episode 58, people. And that means one thing: It's time for coverage of the Olympic closing ceremonies. Also, the gold medalist in tipping over. And a lot of other really weird stuff. FREDDIE AND OPALBEAR: These two ask the eternal question: did you ever smear your tall trees with astronaut juice? This was a warmup. It goes to a very strange place and it just doesn't come back. EVERYBODY EXERCISE!!! ASK YOUR DOCTOR...: Is Pelloweeno (or Salloweedo maybe?) right for you? Are you still getting chronic felt in your shame compartments? Well, tell your doctor if you experience over 11 hours of cobra puberty. OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONIES: A squirting sun, the smallest olympian (a tiny housebelt) and a nation whose flag has a drawing on it of a weasel dressed as a nazi. What does Barry the Olympic alcoholic elk have to offer addicted olympians? You'll just have to listen and find out. This month, more of you than ever have been listening. We love those listens like we love having a cake baked around us and

It's time for a good old-fashioned detective story. It's film noir, and that means one thing. That means...we have not watched a lot of film noir. But we will pretend to have done so. You'll love it. It's got everything: a detective with a comma, a tilde and an oregano in his name. A beautiful dame, former runner up in the Junior Miss What Is Your Face competition. A murdered husband, rich enough to have commissioned a statue of a golden ice cube. It also features a death scene so long, you just can't believe it. And it's all brought to you by...products. We honestly can't remember even one of them. Except for living overalls that talk. Horrible. Horrible. If you enjoyed it, hey, come find us on twitter. And please, please if you can take a moment and leave us a good review on iTunes, it really helps move us up the rankings. ThankYouThankYouThankYouGoodNight!

That's right, fools. The sci-fi adventure continues. It's another installment of SUPERGALACTIC! Strider Zorn and Grunk are trying to take down the Evil Regent Kroesch, but to do it, they'll need to find a mystical artifact. They'll be guided by Jorak Mult, their dead friend, who is now the grumpy mayor of the afterlife. STARMEK, the ships computer, has a subroutine with whom he shares horrible street jokes. And Zorn will be reunited with the woman he left behind, and the thing she still hasn't wiped off of her face. Feel the thrills, the danger, as they face the horrors of Doobie Brothers brand apples, a Boo Radley indication kit, and a venomous crab that goes to the bathroom on itself. And if you've read this far and haven't already taken a moment to leave us a humiliatingly great review on iTunes, well, we sure would appreciate it. You have no idea how much it helps other people find this weird thing we do. Or at least come by and see us on twitter and say hello. Or say other things. Like "hi" or "hey" o

Our first episode after our anniversary, and it's just full of...you know...the things our episodes are full of. We've got two elopements, two murders, a doberman slipping on a food particle, a liniment festival, a concert by the Little Doowop Suckers, a monster offering a loan, and cows whispering in the woods. You know, the usual. LOOK AT THIS: A show about unsolved crimes, featuring a murderer in a town where the clock in the woods strikes midnight several times a day. WORDY PHILIP LOSES HIS HAT: A show for children that tells us, among other things, what happens at the "love post" in town, and how faeries get extra nipples. Classic children's tale stuff. Enjoy, everybody! And if you do enjoy it, please stop by iTunes and give us the kind of rating that is so nice, we have to repress the memory of it because we feel we don't deserve it.

This is it. It's come to this. This is what it's come to. To this, come to, it has. It. Come. This. You get it. You all get it. Real good. Yes, this week is the exciting conclusion of the Trial of the Century, the People vs. Carol. This time around, Tarleton & Wilter will attempt unsuccessfully to interview Punky Pants, the Gianetti Brothers will take the stand to describe some of the fancy dishes that may have poisoned the Spanish royal family (is there a Spanish royal family? We don't know.) And Ted the Lifecoach will call Ted the Lobster to the stand. It's all come to this, a culmination of our first year making stupids at you through your ears. We love you weirdos. And if you love us back, take a second and write a nice review on iTunes -- it really, really helps if you do that. And tell a friend. And stop by twitter and say hi!

ANNIVERSARY SHOW!!! One year ago today, we launched this abomination, and now...well, now we're going to do more of it. More and more and more. Clearly, we can't stop doing this. And we are so happy you guys are with us on this weird, weird journey. And for today's episode, it's part one of a two-parter. It's: "The People vs. Carol." In part one, you'll hear Tarleton & Wilter, Reverend Ben & Donald, Carol, Ted the Lifecoach, Mama & Beatrice, Jack & Shovel and more. And next week, there's even more of our faves, including the Gianetti brothers, Ted the Lobster, and Punky Pants. It's damn near everybody! So beware of the goose laying the mental egg of injustice and listen. And if you can take a moment and give us a review on iTunes, or subscribe, or tell a friend, or just come see us on twitter and say hi, we'd love to hear from you!

Well, well, well. If it isn't episode 52. That means that our first year is coming to a close, and what better way to celebrate than to pour a whole bucket of really weird stuff on you. Enjoy! WELCOME TO GERALDBURGER: We have a few more customers at the GeraldBurger drive-thu window, and they are hoping to dine on off-brand cola made of chairs, a chortling bear, and maybe they'll get to milk a human. SOUNDS OF THE 70's: It's that record collection you never knew you didn't need. It features smash hits by Baseball Phones, Jupiter Spits on You, and the Praline Smells. Don't not miss it! IN AN INUIT WORLD: This one...we just don't know. It's sort of a movie trailer, but it involves a lot of stories about the ancient Inuits, a "peliscope" and a village in crisis and/or jeopardy. So everybody join hands and blow all your zoopers out. And as always, come see us on twitter! And if you can spare a couple of seconds, give us a killer review on iTunes so more weirdos like you can find us!

It's the big one! Double-u double-u two! This week, we head back to the war to end all wars. Wait...that might have been the other one. Or maybe it was an explosion convention where they demonstrate explosions to see if you want to buy one. There's battle, romance, fiendish plots and heroic escapes. And a greasy little puppet in your donkey place. We think you'll find it as beautiful as a whole bag full of wet bees. You'll hear forgotten accents and one curiously subdued charley horse. And if that wasn't enough, there's a creamy sasquatch monitor right in the middle. If you like it, tell a friend. Or some a-hole you barely know.

That's right, people. It's episode FIFTY! The big 50! If episodes were years and our show worked in a lame office, it's coworkers would have decorated it's cubicle with black balloons because they are a hoot. This episode bounces back and forth between two insane places: THE BIG 4TH OF JULY SALES EVENT: We're back at the car dealership, looking to make you a great deal on a happy sandwich that has been made president, or a tea set that REALLY wants to go home with you. Don't miss out on these deals! THE FARM: We just started talking. And sometimes when you start talking, a farm comes out. There are some seriously terrible things that happen on this farm, and we just can't help ourselves but tell you about every one of them. And you'll learn what the Bible says to do if a little monkey that feels like a mongoose comes to your door. So that's nice. So many of you have been giving us lovely iTunes reviews and stopping by and seeing us on Twitter. Keep doing that. We love finding you god damn weirdos.

You know what happens when you mix a presidential debate with a two-headed Barry White monster that needs to say goodbye to its lady, right? No? Well, you will. You'll know all about how the latest crows have snaps on their feet to help attach themselves to your sun visor. You'll know what it means to grow up just like everyone else, one leg at a time. You're going to know about hanging out at the boxing range. And when you're done, why not come see us on twitter (@SuperPeePeeTime)? Or how's about subscribing on iTunes? And leaving us a big, fat review there that will make our eyes glisten with tears, and our necks glisten with gravy? Do these things.

It's almost time for the Olympics, and you know what that means? Us neither! Yes, it's time for the Olympic trials in gymnastics! With one athlete who can smile from the inside of the back of her head, and another with two beards -- one on top of his head, the other on his camaro. Fun for the whole family, especially the ones made into gravy. All brought to you by GeraldBurger, home of the secret cone dog, and a bunch of other businesses that seem to sell insurance, food, and other things. So pour a nice big, brimming bowl of buttered onion sandwich cereal, and get ready for victory! USA! USA! USA! And if you liked this like you like having chocolate smeared on your face by a friendly giraffe, come see us on Twitter, or subscribe on iTunes, or write us a glowing review that makes up for our childhoods. Whatever, no pressure.

Well, we did it, you guys. We made episode 47. Right after episode 46. We knew we could do it, you knew we could do it, no one knows WHY we would do it, but by Mephistopheles, we did it. And it's completely filled to the eyeballs with nonsense. TARLETON and WILTER: THE AMAZON RAINFOREST -- Let our returning champions, Tarleton and Wilter, show you the wonders of the South American fauna and flora. The Jaguar (nature's coconut), a poison tree frog with a file coming out of his butt, and much, much more! THE SUPER PEE PEE TIME COAT OF ARMS: Mac and Cade attempt to decide what the Pee Pee Time coat of arms would have been. If we were a family in medieval times going into battle, I guess.

We hope you enjoy listening to this ridiculous episode half as much as we enjoyed saying it. And when you hear it, you'll ask yourself, "How could they possibly think we could enjoy it as much as they did?" And you're right, we know you're right. WELCOME TO GERALD BURGER: A man visits a drive thru fast food restaurant, and requests many, many items, none of which are available unless you look at the menu from the side. THE MAN IN THE MOON: Lacey and her stuffed zebra, Mr. Krackles, take a magical, horrifying trip to the moon. It's a children's story. No, it IS. Cade even wanted to do it in such a way that he could allow his children to listen to it. And as soon as he announced that fact, it got ten times more foul-mouthed than we ever are. Wonderful. Come find us on iTunes, subscribe, review, see us on Twitter, do all kinds of things to our social media platforms, bodies and minds that make us finally feel alive.

You know those home makeover shows, where a lovely couple invites a couple of famous home...fixers...into their lives, and soon enough, we're learning all about grass-fed poltergeists, steak wading pools, porpoise lighting, and whether or not a donkey can make a fist if he's angry enough? Well, you do now. Brought to you by what we think are products. We guess... Don't forget to enjoy the part in the middle when Cade loses control of his voice transformer machine completely. And if you like this? What do you do then? Come find us on twitter (www.twitter.com/superpeepeetime)! Subscribe on iTunes! Write us the kind of glowing review on there that makes us so happy we just wish we were dead!

OK. So. This episode is all over the place. There are: -News headlines about, among other thigns, an elk that people like, -Commercials about god only knows what, -A nature show involving many rare animals and plants including one called a "jello oreo", -A pet shop where there are no pets but you can buy a finger, -And a classroom show and tell that gets so dumb, we bail on it completely in a storm of very colorful profanity. Lots of fun. And besides, we made it for you, and you'll eat every last bit of it or no TV tonight, do you understand us, young lady? And if you love it like you love pizza and sleeping, why not come by twitter and say hi to us at @SuperPeePeeTime? And subscribe on iTunes. And then write us the kind of review that is so glowing, it kind of makes us think you're trying to steal our family fortune? Do all of these things.

From some poor guy's home office all the way to the briefing room at the White House, Episode 43 is possibly the most juvenile episode we've ever done. And if you're a subscriber (how could you not be a subscriber?) you know what that means: a.) Don't play it out loud at work, b.) don't blast it at a funeral, and c.) don't broadcast it into space or we'll only get the really weird, immature aliens interested in visiting us. Enjoy irresponsibly. 0:00 TED THE LIFECOACH -- You may remember Ted from Episode 23 ("Ted and Beelo Save Christmas! MAYBE!") but you've never heard him like this. He's in his natural element, helping people to help themselves in smearing camel on their doughnuts and pretending to wear the camel doughnuts as glasses. Just like Winston Churchill said. 12:45 WHITE HOUSE PRESS CONFERENCE -- It only occurs to us now that it isn't at all clear what the national disaster was that prompted this emergency press conference. But it involves arresting a tree, fitting pigs into envelopes, and ha