Super Pee Pee Time

It's the 40's, see? And there's this guy and this dame, see? And they've been captured by a couple of gangsters. It's the classic love story. He canceled himself in her sink, and she knows how he got a burn and he doesn't. He used to call Jack O Lanterns "Belly Boy" and she'll never walk through a bomb again. It's that old tale. And here it is. Coming into your ears like you've got a shark for a Maitre D'.

Ahoy, humans! This is a bit of a minisode, and in it we head into the ring for the wrestling match of the century. Get ready for a one way ticket to hug town! Hammer Boy and Big Wossie are going to give each other everything they've got. So much, you're gonna wish you'd never been paid!

Step right up, ladies and gents, and let these two fast talking city slickers cure all your ills. Just rub this on your prattling area, and sprinkle this right on your bologna, and soon enough, never again will you pale in comparison to anything. Try it and see. Tell your friends. Tell your peach that is inviting you to a little party in your drawers. Tell the world!

Sometimes we decide "Let's do a children's story!" and just horrible things happen. But not this time! Well, there is the character who is happy that his blood came out. And the fudging of ghosts in the criminal nighttime. And we do talk about "Turtle Leopard Satan with a Dog Dick Shell." And farting into a kayak. Yeah. We probably shouldn't do too much children's theater. But we probably will.

Well, we've been through three years together. We've seen chamber mice, velamints, dagwood sandwiches, apples, and various able-bodied things. But now, it's time for year four. What will year four bring?? Will it bring delicious oven cakes, with the flavor of your baby's oven? Will it bring a mouth in the north and a mouth in the south as the yetis say? Apricots and leprechauts, which are Irish apricots? How about a cable car filled with chicken? Who knows? But we'll be there, finding all of whatever it brings. And so will you. And we will all priss about with turkeys on our minds.

Well, well, well. Look who finished year three and is beginning year four without a special "this is the start of a new year" episode because they forgot that they have to record stuff a week ahead of time and so that episode is NEXT week's episode. It's US. Three whole years of the silliest thing on the internet. Thanks for listening, thanks for the pouch full of Michelob lite. Thanks for checking all those birds out of that bird library. And especially thanks for that Mickey Mouse flavored cinnamon roll. We really needed that.

MINISODE TIME: Yes, due to some summer scheduling, this episode is short, and as sweet as a Boston Creme Doughnut. Or a Detroit Creme Doughnut. Or how about Astronomer Fudge? You'll learn how easy it is to make doughnuts in your own kitchen with no ingredients, and without burning your funk hand. Enjoy!

It's summertime, and that means vacations with the family, Lucifer help you. What better time than now to discover all the roadside attractions, museums, amusement parks and such that you might want to visit. Plus, all those wonderful holidays that you might find on the calendar, like Hurt-Your-Gus Day or maybe Peninsula Denial Day. How about a nice coonskin casserole, or some sleep grease made by sliding a hammer down a flight of stairs? All this and so much less! Enjoy!

You know those great old cop shows where there's a murder, and also chaps made out of leprosy, dalmatian holes, and a beverage called "examinade"? Sure. Sure, you do. We all do, Don. Your name is Don now. And I've called you out on it. Enjoy the show! Or...well, it's audio. So...enjoy the tell?

It's Father's Day, just in time for a special holiday episode by two men who have/had marginal relationships with their fathers at best! YES. There are some commercials, some of which are for Hal Embry Ford, some of which involve 99.5% financing, which is not great. We'll also head out to the beach where a father and son try to heal their relationship while talking about how dirt is a part of everything. There is also the first charley horse in quite a little while, and it's a nice one. Just saying. Enjoy!

...and you know what that means. Due to some scheduling snafus, this episode (and maybe the next one) are gonna be a little short. Minisode! Short but sweet! And horrible! And ridiculous! Have you ever wanted to just get out there and go on a walking tour of a small, remote town? No. Of course not. How could you? But what if it were a special place where no one blinks? A place where you can learn about a cannon filled with tumors. A place whose first export was "children grease." A place where instrumental bluegrass music is called "close your mouth grass." Yeah. Yeah, now, you're ready. Enjoy!

It's nearly summer, and that means the Craft Ladies are back with more things that are ugly and hard to make! If you've been looking for a gift for that special someone on your Lubrication Anniversary, maybe make them a nice chortling jacket, or if you just want to stop blaming your mom for sherbet enticement, they've got you covered!

How would you feel about a high stakes poker tournament where it's not entirely clear if even one hand is played? Where someone is guarding cranberries at the fruit vault, and there are four 11-year-old men? How about an insane harp player dropping from the sky, and a gas tank full of tambourine oil? OK, then how about a witch trial where there is no real trial, no convictions or acquittals, and some of the guest witnesses are the worlds last living T-Rex and god himself? And a nice charity gift to Cookies Without Uglies, and the Hamburger Walk? Sound good? Well, why not give it a listen anyway? Enjoy!

Sometimes, teens need a little help to learn how the world works. Well, we're here to help. If you want to be enjoyed by Putt-boy, or if your mom puts extra gaps in your sandwiches for you, if the kid who's bullying you got a hat from a mystery man, or if the old zookeeper wants to slap you with something he calls "slap paper," you need help. And we're here to give it to you. Enjoy!

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to visit some old friends? Us neither! But in this case, we make an exception. Here's our chance to check in with: -Ted the Life Coach, as he inspires you to reach through your corn! -Carol, in her first day on the S.W.A.T. team, which goes great! -Mama & Beatrice, where we hear of "gerbiling" a stranger -Reverend Ben & Donald, and the Church of the Lack of Hardness Plus some commercials, and nothing. Nothing else. That's it. Enjoy!

Sometimes your employees need to be oriented. These people need orientation. And even if our plans all turn to a cybernetic leprechaun giving birth out of his asshole, by god we're going to orient them. The Ski Holes Corporation is here for you, to teach you about flexibility, competitive pay and a Thought God, which is a benefit, apparently. Please enjoy this with Jarvis, the squirrel with money problems!

Our intrepid explorers, Tarleton and Wilter, have returned with a new set of volumes. This time around it's: The world of the Supernatural! Learn of the blank calendars that Sasquatches keep, the ghost of a hammer eater, family potato salad gatherings, and more! And please, please remember: they say Wednesday is the Saturday of the middle of the week. And we believe them.

The Imps have returned, and this time they're trying to get a promotion. In order to move up, they need to help someone fall in love. They know nothing of towel birds, or people who make feet out of tires. But they're willing to try anyway! Will they succeed? Will they get a delicious Turkey Leg on a Stick on a Hand? Will they figure out how to describe someone who is good at canoeing? Will they find a use for the mystical powder that you blast into your pants? Who knows? You don't! But after you listen, you might!

It had been too long since we'd done a children's show that was not at all for children. Well, not only did we do one, but it is even less for children than ever before. Just ask the camel. (note: please do not ask the camel. Nothing good can come of it.) If you've ever wanted to hear an epic tale of adventure that included a mystical land where everyone loves Bryan Adams for some reason, a bird stolen by an evil man who laughs for no reason, and a village elder that has an inappropriate relationship with the aforementioned camels, then this is your time! Enjoy! Subscribe! Come by twitter and say hello! Or say other things! We don't care, just stop by!

Sometimes in life, a couple needs a helping hand. An outside eye to help them find a new place in their relationship. Sometimes one of them has an erotic fixation on Casper the Friendly Ghost. Sometimes there is a stork behind glass with a sign that reads "Break Glass In Case Of Not Stork." Sometimes you farm for oysters thousands of miles from the ocean. Sometimes, folks, you just have to close up your helping holes, take a deep breath in, and then take another deep breath in, and just keep on breathing in.... And if that wasn't enough, we had a little "Hal Embry Ford" left over, so you've got that going for you, too! If you enjoyed this nonsense, come by and see us on twitter and tell us what's wrong with you!