Super Pee Pee Time

Oh, dear people. It's time. Time for a visit to Hal Embry Ford for more deals that are a little extra violent this week for some reason. And then, it's time to bring down the final curtain on a career of a pair of magicians as they plan their final show. They'll reminisce on tales of the Tick Express, their old friend, Lovingza the Clown, an d their very first date, from which they still have some ice. You'll also hear about geese, which have become the most mentioned animal on our show for some reason. ENJOY.

Oh, hello. We didn't see you there. But now that you're here, it's time to learn all about the Gianetti Brothers' new restaurant, The Compound. It's got everything. Towel arrangement kits, all your bowling equipment, and various punch fluids. The works. So get your coupon right under the picture of a chuckling ape with the sign that says "Hurt Me" and stop by the Compound for the fanciest night of your stupid life.

This may be the record for the quickest we've ever forgotten our character names. I think we remember them eventually. And then probably forget them again. Notwithstanding, it's an adventure in the wild areas around the globe! We will visit a great number of animals that we easily could have stayed home and seen right in town. Mice, gerbils, a horse. We'll visit Africa where we will meet a familiar character who is named "Little Klaw" this time. We'll go to Australia where their favorite cereals are "Plix" and "Crazy Up a Tree Flakes." And we'll visit South America where the jaguars are busy for some reason. Enjoy!

It's time for a tale. A tale of two sandwich makers with a dream. Well, a lot of dreams. They wanted to make an eyeball venison burger, a fudge tiger, or a Mister Paul's Big Balls Fish Sandwich. But they needed a little help. Will they find it? Well, you'll just have to listen and see. Hear, I mean. You won't see anything different when you're listening. If you do, though, definitely let us know. That sounds wild.

Two of the friendliest of all possible gentlemen decide to take a nice walk. What could go wrong? A ham trap? Maybe. Snort Flakes Cereal? Possibly. Davy Crockett's last words about almonds? Most likely. And all of it is brought to you by gopher's teeth, a coloring book that is one step away from madness, and other things that will really surprise you unless you know about them. We love all of you weirdos.

From beyond the cosmos, whatever that means, it's...SUPERGALACTIC. Our intrepid space travelers, Strider Zorn and Grunk, are back for yet another sci-fi adventure. We kind of forgot about where we left off last time, so we just kind of went with it. A nitrogen storm cripples their spacecraft, forcing them to land on a filthy world where brothels with peanut firing ranges and tea-flavored bug arrangement kits are, you know, around. They meet an old "friend" of Grunk's who has plans for their demise. Or does he!? Or DOESN'T he?! Huh? HUH???

It's episode 136, and you know what that means! SCIENCE! Two scientists from a company that may or may not make falling cupcakes are conducting several scientific studies. Their subjects try to answer their questions, but also end up talking about potato toilets, mustard meat, and monkey friction. So much science happens, guys. Like, a lot of science.

Grandma and Grandpa are back! When last we heard from them, it just occurs to me, they were about to die in a submarine. But that didn't slow them down. And, just in time for Valentine's day, it's their special anniversary dinner! Listen in awe as we discuss leave-it-behind powder, maybe posts, Grandma tells their dog, Blaster, a bedtime story about murder and pills. All the most romantic stuff in the damn world. So scoot your cuttlefish over to the old Victrola and listen good! Enjoy!

Well, it had to happen sometime. Last week, Vlad & Valery said what we were going to do "next time" and we almost kind of do that the next week. Yes, Vlad and Valery are back, with much confusion about how people can listen to their radio show with or without a radio. They help people. It's what they do. You might need help with your golfing machine, you might work at an ugly library. Maybe you just want to organize a fun run for the "How Is Your Dog" foundation. They can help. And then, a brief presentation from the Toy Designers from, among other episodes, OUR VERY FIRST EPISODE! So if you've been waiting all your life for a Second Fork Barbie, or a Little Baby I Hate Opening Things, they've invented them just for you.

It was going to be a return to "Fishin' and Fishin' with Harlan Stetson and Billy Whitefeather" but Cade wanted to play Carol Channing, so it's that. Learn what aspects of ice fishing are pleasing to the wax nipples, and which relate to your grandpa's elementary school violence teacher. Break out the logging cream and massage HolyMan's ray gun, and happy fishing! And then, it's a tease with Vlad & Valery! They're back, and talking about the "Beach Boys" of Belgrade, which was "Hat Friend." Enjoy this, people. We are all you have. We're it.

Yes, it's time again for your favorite gameshow...Answer a few simple questions so you can win big money and prizes! Like a lifetime supply of Toy Oil, or a monkey massage for your cat! Or a "hot balloon ride" which is not quite the same as a "hot air balloon ride" technically. Come on in, upgrade the smell system in your hole, and try to understand your cat's horrible nature!

This week, we've got a two-fer! That means you get two scenes for the price of one. Or...two half-length scenes for the price of one full-length scene. And there is no price. What in the hell are we doing? THERE IS NO PRICE! 2-HEADED BARRY WHITE It's our old friend(s?) the 2-headed Barry White Creature, with some tips for wintertime lovin'. You'll learn all about milk calendars, a crow with a cybernetic implant, and "nor-ade" which is neither ade nor other ade. ACTION THRILLER: This outline was a lot longer. Like...a lot longer. But we think you'll agree, this is plenty. A disgraced black ops soldier being returned to federal prison by his old adversary. You'll hear about heated owls, the fact that Chopin's butthole didn't make it, and witty banter. So much witty banter. ENJOY THIS, MOFOs!

Happy New Year, oh friends of the pee. Today, we have a special treat for you. Not like normal weeks when we have a standard treat for you. No way. This week, it's the triumphant return of Sherlock Holmes and his intrepid spaniel in human form, Watson. There's been a murder. I mean, basically, there was a murder. It was near a graveyard. We may have forgotten to establish the actual crime very clearly. The point is, in that way that only Holmes can, he will solve the mystery that happened on Boulevard Street, or High Street Lane, or something. And the main point is that you will learn which part of the human body is the Vuck. And that is all ye need know.

It's that time again when the calendar people tell you it's time to "buy a new calendar" because last year's calendar "doesn't make any sense this year" and is "no longer accurate." Well, you can be suckers if you want to, and fall for that. But no matter who you are, it's time for New Year's Eve. It's a time for cooking for those you love, it's a time for tasting the people in your neighborhood, and it's a time for that traditional image of cobras frightening people from shop to shop in the mall. So enjoy Chef Rene and Charlene, and the Gianetti brothers, and please don't drink and drive. And definitely don't drank and blarp. And don't dick and donk. And we will see you in the new year. And by that, we mean that we will almost certainly not see you at all. But, you know, we'll do more of this.

Ok. That's more like it. We put up something that was a total jumble of nonsense during your normal Super Pee Pee Time Time. And not the normal kind of nonsense. So, sorry about that, several people who listened to that and thought we meant it. And sorry to all the rest of you for listening to THIS! Santa's preparing for his trip on Christmas Eve, but a naughty little boy steals all the presents, like the SteveIsNotHere Playset, and the Sack of Blood, and My Little Hovercraft! What will they do?! It's a chase through the North Pole, and a little boy maybe dying in bubblegum! And other stuff!

Happy holidays to you, and welcome to another evening with Reverend Ben and Donald. This week it's all about the true meaning of Christmas. Learn all the stuff you really need to know, like how sometimes you just have to immediately kill things, and how 'swaddling clothes' are really just a diaper for a cow. Everything you expect for Christmas is right here. Beef-scented haystacks, shepherds who go to Tall School, Apple Cobra Oil. All of the standard stuff. And if you are so inclined upon receiving this holiday testimony, stop by twitter and say hi. We won't bite. It's the internet, that's impossible. For now.

Look, you have a secret. You haven't been honest with yourself about something, and...and it's ok. It's ok. You know why? Because it's the holiday season. And we all know that you have been ACHING to see Santa Claus hauled in front of a Senate committee that oversees whatever it is that Santa is. We know it. And now the world knows it. See? See how free you feel now? You want to hear all about Santa's tropical helicopter, and Blitzen's penis reflector. You want to hear discussion of how balls are round boxes that you can't put things in. You want it all. And we have good news. Your wish? It has come true. It has all finally come true. In this episode. Tell the world. Even tell one person. Tell a dog with it's own iPhone. Tell a bird who isn't interested. Tell them all. It's not too late.

Sometimes we have a plan when we start. We have an outline, characters, or at least some kind of a sense of what we're going for. This was not one of those times. It turned out to make a kind of sense. And if you know us, you do not believe us when we tell you that. And you are RIGHT. It is a river rafting trip that turns into a dead, rude pelican in the service industry. I guess it's basically the exact plot of The Great Gatsby, except it includes a merit badge for being a loose woman in an aquarium. But other than that.

What do you get when you combine, Thanksgiving dinner, Ted the Life Coach, a family full of thankful people, and a Black Friday sales event from Hal Embry Ford? We don't know, but here it friggin' comes. There'll be solar stuffing, a camera focused on your renegade parts, a little chowder monster, a cranberry-flavored dead criminal, and so much more. So gather your family together, and take advantage of the fact that they're all together to get the hell away from them for a few minutes. And express your gratitude for karate pants, snow leopards and regular dirt leopards. If you don't, who will?

We've all heard the story of the first Thanksgiving. Well...all of us besides little Joe who wears the snorkel to work. Well, this episode takes us back to just before that, during the long voyage across the sea, when the pilgrims were unsure of what they might find. Sure, they were pretty ready to assume they would have some sort of meal to give thanks eventually. That was weird. But otherwise, just standard 17th century boat ride. Or was it? It was not. OR WAS IT?? (It was not*.) *Or WAS** it? **No. In fact, it was not.