Croncast Season 02 | Life Is Show Prep

Show: #544 Length: 28:09 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Hey hey Thos comments are gonna flow Yes, i've had hamsters before This would be a fourth Well, it is a fourth How did you have four hamsters? What happened to them? Kris tells a story that should never be told I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille You set me up for a lifetime of chores I didn't walk away I'm still here No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything Just don't tell Mommy Daddy's buying me a hamster You have no idea I do know Feral hamsters don't count, Kris Glow in the dark ball back in the day Pets didn't last me all that long I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide No it didn't die Does you mom still have that? It ain't a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot Look, is was common at that time Aluminum foil on the bottom What? That is what they said to do Who? The people at the pet store

Show: #543 Length: 29:31 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Show notes gotta wait But the show doesn't!! Check your feeds and enjoy Have a great weekend guys! Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Show: #542 Length: 30:33 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times I have on my robe, bunny slippers You wish you could afford the Times That's true Or had a stoop of my own Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building What I like about New York is you can count on people You can trust them However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants They will slam doors on you Push you off the curb in front of a bus The have an alliance with leprechauns It's true Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks We couldn't understand each other You're accented now too, baby You've toured the midwest They can't understand you Your Chicagowaukee accent It's all about dominance in NY Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship It's like entering an improv scene Costco in the city experience 99/100 emails are for you We did get noticed on the street We handled it horribly The kids were like wha

Show: #541 Length: 32:33 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Leaving the comments Sexy Betsy That is all that I am calling you from now on Like Galore Vixen I went out with a new friend It's hard to know what to dress like with new friends She's a cool, cool kind of chick Got pink streaks in her hair She's a mommy, she's a nice lady Guilt laden Bear speech What? Like wearing laundered clothes? You gotta fill in the gaps Had to put in earings Always, but that is gaps of two years Cough, cough You didn't sound awful before There are plenty of other folks that take 5 photos of themeselves a day Maybe, they do Let it hang there Everybody here wears black All winter coats are black They all want to melt, it's like camo Fast food is a class issue in NYC If someone could ship me a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell The greasy spoon with Rolls Royces parked out front It's a friggin greasy spoon Park it in the cross walk The kind you want to be!! Driver will play on his iPhone while

Show: #540 Length: 28:25 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Getting it on Dude, that was so smarmy You should talk like that job interviews That way you would get every job How are you homeless and buying brand new stuff? I got a family and Cobra IT skills true Contracts and Cobra are for me Cement truck guy got my dog and benies Garbage picking in NYC That couch you're sitting on was free The doorman battles What sort of breed are these guys? They sweep you with your eyes They're unionized Snagging late night coupons when the bodega closes You don't give that away for free! Her mom told her that The boyfriend was not into it Oh, you don't have a . . . I overpaid now You were pretty for a guy

Show: #539 Length: 30:25 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Server issues today, apparently the it ate the show and post Thanks to those that sent messages! Betsy thinks that I shave between my eyebrows I'm just flakey and y'all scrape my flesh Betsy wants to talk celebrity sightings Mark was in town and we went to Kidrobot And who else, Kris? Mr. I'm Rick James, Bitch Just us I can't stand the fact you get to see all these people On to pizza NY is so awesome for show prep The old man says, I'll be there in 15 minutes Am I going to jail today? Not today? But I am still going to jail, yes? Yes. The dance crew gets on the subway

Show: #538 Length: 28:07 Format: mp3 To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool! Comments are all moderated now Due to massive amounts of spam that is coming in Great news . . . streaming player is ready to use Go to Croncast -> Click 'streaming player' -> Sign in -> Listen The Nextel phone chirp chirp is like the construction worker Twitter Maybe I have a stroller you don't know about A total Manhattan business is man strollers Man purses are not in the scope They're totally off limits He's a cross dressing pimp And he also coos Dude is wearing a full length beaver coat You should hold classes at the annex for cross dressing pimps Queens they should go with you The battle cry for cross dressing pimps If you made that sound in Queens something would eat you Tumbleweeds and paint ball The greatest Goodwill ever As far as clothing goes $1.69 a pound for clothing You can pick up Diesel Jeans I may like them but I need Mavi jeans Those fit Not Levi's or Wranglers There are no Wranglers in Manhatta

Show: #537 Length: 28:09 Format: mp3 I can't tell you the story off the show There is safety on the show A good tight story Directors cut? Just tell me the story Three hundred people waiting to get in . . . And then us Yeah, with you I don't think club with a 'K' It looks like John Goselin fell from an airplane and exploded All too much The 6'8 400 lbs bouncer comes over Failed arena football player Heading to the penthouse party Yes, I'll take you up right now I don't fit at all The head neck move dance all together We make our way in Turns out it is a Penthouse part Not a penthouse party Was TMZ there? They see you the music stops and they ask who let this guy in Schlumpy midwestern guy, who let him in? I was on the of the line Sure the Pussy Cat Dolls were doing there show Did they say i gotta go to the bathroom No, but they did let me know I might not get in Leave you outside? Yeah, but I totally understand Gonna make it happen I know that you know that I am impressed You aren't making eye contact with

Show: #536 Length: 40:05 Format: mp3 Thank you! To all those that are cool . . . you rock! If you're not cool, you can get cool Why start on the 13th? I can't avoid the number - I should embrace it It's always in my address Homeless guy that sleeps in front of only that address Working on the streaming version player Will be ready by Friday How should I know that 3XL in gay is in XL? I thought things were fancy in Naperville Until I experienced Elliot's public school Can anyone ring the bell at NYSE or NASDAQ? Grammy tickets? Where is this place and who are these people? Having a nice car in New York She has a huge Range Rover What are we? We're the Walking Class Party at the wine bar for the parents I don't have a baby sitter No worries, my nanny can watch your kids too Thanks but I can't get there Don't worry my husband has a car service I was just at Costco, you bitch No idea how I would even get there The suburban delights are missing here No alone time here What kind of hell is to be in Las Vegas for a

Croncast - 2009-12-31.mp3 Show: #535 Length: 8:42 Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Croncast the New York Days Begins on January 13th! We're making some changes The new shows are paid subscription Sign up on the Get Cool page New York is like living on an elevator You're all up in everyone's business You try to relax but you can't No one can All of the pet roles have been recast Keeping it subterranean We can't do a full episode, baby Has New York changed these people What sort of sales pitch is that You got to pep it up! Getting Cool 4 Life That is the patron level They love what we do and want to support it People can unsubscribe at anytime No missed days . . . we gots obligations We also have a new live video show That starts January 18th It's called High Society Salvage Co. All new, all kinds of awesome I've got Chanel suits to auction off All kinds of weird stuff In conjunction with Tim Street we'll be cranking that one out Begin subscribing by going to Get Cool It's all

Croncast - 2009-08-31.mp3 Show: #534 Length: 30:18 Size: 27.8 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Let the reboot begin Still don't have the studio set up the way we would like Whatever, don't leave a comment on the old shows Seriously, a mummy might crawl out of your ear buds Betsy breaks down why the shows stopped It's the real deal They heard the show The offer was pulled It pre-dated even their interest in our home So much conflict from it we had to stop Hard finding buyers You guys knew all about the crazy They didn't just call up She furnished a transcript Thanks to social media you can't feed the trolls offline They knew we were in a bind How can you be special when the whole world knows? You're not on the inside when it's public knowledge Enough of this crap Picking back up where we left off . . . Leaving Naperville The car arrives to take us way You can't tell that story yet The New York story has to wait "I am a rock star," Elliot What do we move with - 6 suitcases

Croncast - 2009-06-16.mp3 Show: #533 Length: 25:51 Size: 23.8 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes What you don't have is the funny I'm bringing it to over 40 people Thursday nights All in the old Seinfeld time slot What are you up against? Oh, yeah . . . ER reruns They used to stay home for Greys Anatomy Not so hot early on Doing the shows for your cousins 12 people versus 50 and percentage laughing Well, I can see you telling a joke in a restroom All about pumping your ego up Two fangirls waiting for me Thinking they can't find the bathroom "Oh, my god. You were so funny." Bitsy's door star - they can't speel The bicycle issue There is no issue . . . I am the BMX'n boy Kris, I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10 That is the plan the man is on He got my physical genes My neighbors got rich of off my physical ineptitude I learned to ride in the grass Of course you did softy I saw a malleable four year old girl in front of me She wanted to go fast Daddy, go get the tool box Sh

Croncast - 2009-05-22.mp3 Show: #532 Length: 20:41 Size: 19.0 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes We're back for a 20 minute episode A little low down on what we're up to Some Betsy digging into my past The Great LaMoille fire of 1888 And part hypnotherapy for the dogs I'm heading to Boston tomorrow Betsy wants to get life advice from VH1 I will use this in the divorce someday to get the kids What have you learned from our show?

Croncast - 2009-05-04.mp3 Show: #531 Length: 3:05 Size: 4.1 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Not a real episode more like an announcement Friday's meetup will be at 7 p.m. Location: Stout 133 West 33rd Street New York, NY Map Near Penn Station and these trains 33rd Street (PATH) 34th St-6th Ave (B, D, F, V, N, Q, R, W) 34th St-7th Ave (1, 2, 3) We hope to see you there!

Croncast - 2009-05-01.mp3 Show: #530 Length: 32:06 Size: 29.5 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Hit up Croncast and leave comment Online they're called trolls In the real world they're called haters Thanks for asking people to tell you something nice You were having a rough day Dude's can't call you beautiful Why are you in public without your mask on? I ended up with a red streak on my finger Again! Back down the sewer drain No care for the scrape or cut I'll be fine Now my finger is throbbing and swelling up Hello, urgent care Attacked your meat hook viciously Everyone in their was wearing a mask All the wackadoos think they have swine flu Stay safe while porking I am worried for their mental health They could have hamster flu We're gonna be in NYC next week Meetup on Thursday night 6'ish not sure on location Will share that today

Croncast - 2009-04-27.mp3 Show: #529 Length: 34:43 Size: 31.9 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Back to the normal . . . sort of The accidental finders People searching for cul de sac goatee People search for that? We last left you with the heavy mood That's not what we're about We're about the laughs And I brought a funny story Evidently they didn't have Keep on bringing it haters This is from your psycho needy wife Yeah, hey loser in Fremont, we will continue to block you Two-thirds of the opportunities are in the NYC Start-ups are on a short life cycle Whole life transformation . . . from cul de sac to walk-up We have lived a city lifestyle before I just want to have the ability to get another gig without moving after this We have a lot of listeners in the New Jersey Figuring out the trade-offs Closet smoking in the garage I need to stop that If you want to have an f'ing discourse ping me We're 85 percent sure that this is the path You need to stop watching SVU Every pr

Croncast - 2009-04-22.mp3 Show: #528 Length: 27:07 Size: 25.3 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes FSBO Naperville, IL Show notes are super short This episode isn't all that much fun It's more of a chance to fill you in We've got a lot going on like . . . We'll be putting our house on market soon, like two weeks from now Hopefully sold by the time school ends We're looking for gig for Kris We're looking for a city, town to live in that fits us Maybe you live in that city? If so tell us why we should move our family there For Sale By Owner Naperville Illinois We're looking for good public schools, lower cost of living and positive, vibrant community

Croncast - 2009-04-17.mp3 Show: #527 Length: 24:15 Size: 22.3 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Bringing it on the Friday! That's a post, this is a post I know that I am fabulous Helps promote the show Give these people a chance Then the audience swells My kids can't sleep More popular than Wired magazine daddy's I can make a super sandwich For your daughter The ham and ketchup sandwich Fulfilling her need "Scooby Doo Style" That's on you Appaloosa is where I am going Let's count down your shiny chasing skills Glad you can admit them You are my little raccoon Betsy is going to be on the Radio Shopping Show Gotta give the back story Rubeeen had been there to show us Pet a lizard Sure he'll bring the salmonella to your front door This is my favorite lizard, Gothar Sure, he's gotta pack the lizards It's totally worth two hundred bucks The party phenomenon Turn it all into a party What kind of burner are you? Pipeline or bust They were on the bust side We have a token listener

Croncast - 2009-04-15.mp3 Show: #526 Length: 29:05 Size: 26.7 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Living the dream Betsy back at it with Goodwill and plates again Heaping pile of plushies Chicken wire can't be used in medical What have we learned? You could do a killer silk flower arrangement I would crush you, Betsy The components I would have Sneaking a cigarette It all works together Wait till you see what I am going to do with it What did you want to be when you grew up? Away from here . . . that was it Ending up in the t-shirt biz It was a great time I meant the Chump gear guys Always wanted to be somewhere else than where I was Restless leg syndrome Rehashing the past I had no idea And I have no idea now The junkin' comedian $40 pay checks from the comedy shrine The funniest was the awe that filled your dad When? When you said you were thinking about getting a job

Croncast - 2009-04-13.mp3 Show: #525 Length: 32:37 Size: 30.1 mb Format: mp3 Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes Where the shows been? I'm not well Hear it in the voice Why do men get sicker than women? It is like quantum mechanical Betsy, he looks really bad No one was validating You had a temp of 98.6 That's high for me Legitimately sick and you just make fun of me I talked with two people this week That's it It manifested as fevers, rashes, sweats, bumps Let's give the run down New IRS debt, no longer employed by BlogTalkRadio, starting a new business Venture Capital is tight and requires travel Betsy lays it all down . . . what I've learned in comedy . . . so far Well, you are being paid That $40 a week is going to take us through You gotta finish strong I picked the handicapped guy and made the most inappropriate joke Well, the audience knew he was handicap . . . but I didn't Later in the show my pants starts falling down No laughs at this either Here I am walking down the street So w