Proudtobekinky Podcast

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone, hosts of the Loving BDSM Podcast, are our guests this week. Not only do they host a podcast, but they each have their own blog, and Loving BDSM has it’s own site with a great community feel to it, helped by the forum and other additions such as their monthly book club.   We discuss how Kayla and John met and how their dynamic works for them, with Kayla identifying as a Babygirl and John being a Daddy Dom. They also identify as having a 24/7 dynamic, but how they manage and maintain that may not be the same as how other people do. We are big fans of sharing experiences and inviting other people to take from that what is useful to them, and Kayla and John do a wonderful job of sharing their thoughts in an open, honest and inviting manner.   Reading someone’s blog can be a great insight into who they are and what they are interested in. As their blogs played a key part in how they got together, it leads us to talk about both John and Bakji did their research before wooing their r

Lee Harrington is our guest this week, and if for some reason this is your first time listening to Lee speak you are in for a treat. Not only is he a friendly and extremely likeable person, he is also knowledgeable about so many topics it's hard to know what to ask him about first.   Having perused some of the wealth of resources Lee has to offer, 10 books to date, educational classes, podcasts (both his own and guest spots on other people’s), a blog, plus a presence on various social media platforms. We asked Lee what inspires him to carry out the work he does and the answer in itself is inspiring.   As you know myself and Bakji are relatively new to the kink scene, hence why we don’t class ourselves as educators when it comes to the podcast, we are just two people who are keen to share our experiences in the hope they might resonate with other people and give them support and encouragement where needed in terms of embracing either their local scene, their kinks or perhaps both. Less however has got two deca

Kinky nostalgia is this weeks topic as Bakji and I take a walk down memory lane and discuss some of our favourite kinky scenes. Though we each suffer from what we call ‘kink amnesia’, so remembering the exact details seems to be a little tricky. Key moments seem to stick with us though, so those are the topic of discussion.   We discuss our varying experiences with early adventures into obtaining and exploring pornography. While one of us was content with movies and tv that had sexy scenes in, the other person rooted through bins and skips to obtain such things. There’s also talk of floppy disks containing jpegs and dial up internet. I really don’t think the youth of today realise how lucky wireless internet makes them.   First sex toys make an appearance too. Well an appearance in the conversation, not a physical appearance. Due to the fact that the first sex toy I ever bought ended up being a recalled item that had some very dubious issues, I no longer have that in my possession. Bakji tells a very sad stor

Sex is our topic of discussing this week. As we are joined by Tanya and Megan from the ‘Take Back Your Sex’ podcast. While we talk a lot about kink and sexy things in general, it isn’t very often we actually talk about sex. So it was great to have these ladies on to fuel a positive discussion surrounding this subject. Tanya has been blogging about sex in various guises for many years, so we asked how she and Megan came together to form the takebackyoursex.com blog and what prompted them to then move into podcasting.  We also discuss a few of our own learning curves of starting the pod.  We delve back into the topic of swinging again, and ask Tanya how she has found her adventures in non-monogamy. A topic that is currently a popular conversation with team #ProudToBeKinky as Bakji and I take our tentative first steps towards swinging adventures. More on that in future podcasts.  Slut shaming is a big conversation, and a topic that Tanya and Megan tackle often on their blog, podcast and social media platforms. H

When you join the kink community there are very few hard and fast rules that we are expected to conform with, however approaching the community and the people in it with consideration and common sense definitely goes a long way to helping make new friends.   A lot of us learn the hard way when it comes to certain aspects of the scene, and we look back thinking, ‘wow, I wish I’d known that sooner’, so we are attempting to cover some of the things we wish we’d been told before we got involved in the scene, and we also cover a few things we wish other people would learn, yes we mean the guy's still sending the dick pics! We’re not out to preach, and we have definitely made a few of these mistakes ourselves, and as always we don’t want to come across as negative, so while we are saying ‘don’t do this’ we are counteracting with what we think might be a better course of action to help make you more friends and make you experience on the scene even more awesome.   While we cover mostly ideas on improving your social

Shibari is back! We know we may have mentioned it once or twice before, however we have got a wonderful guest in the lovely Sophia.Shibari who is an all round rope enthusiast. We have been long time followers of her Instagram account, and when we saw her perform a self suspension at the SlapStick Club (listen to episode 23 for more on that) we decided to reach out and see if she would like to come and chat with us, and to our delight she said yes. Sophia is not only a rope model, but also a rigger, she also teaches and facilitates rope jams at Anatomie Studio in London. Which if you ever get a chance to go to is well worth a visit. Anatomie Studio is a dedicated rope space, that not only offer tuition in rope, but also a wide range of other classes and opportunities. We do discuss this lots more within this episode. We talk to Sophia about what led her to joining the rope community, and as is often the case we end up discussing why we love it here at #ProudToBeKinky. We make a great case for how awesome the r

Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy is this weeks focus, as Bakji and Floss are joined by the wonderful Page Turner from the website Poly.Land and also author of a new book Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory. We stumbled across Page via Fetlife, when Floss came across her post Homing Pigeon Primary:Good Things Are Hard To Screw Up which was cross-posted from the Poly.Land blog. Since then Floss has been an avid reader of Poly.Land, and was very keen to give Page’s book a read once it was released. Polyamory is hard to miss as a lifestyle choice and subject matter when you join the kink scene, there is a fairly sizeable amount of kinky people who are either polyamorous, or have some kind of ethical non-monogamous activity within their relationships. With that in mind it has been important to cover polyamory at some point, finding the right people to discuss certain topics is important though, so we were delighted when Page said she would be happy to come and chat with us for an episode.  

Kinky paraphernalia is the topic of this week’s episode. As Bakji and Floss go it alone without a guest, to discuss all their favourite and most used items for their BDSM shenanigans.   Before I go on though, make sure you listen until the very end of the episode because we make a new and exciting announcement, which you will not want to miss.   Onto the content of the episode. We cover money savings tips and how to find good deals and discounts. Floss pimps Lovehoney so much that it’s probably impossible to convince you that she doesn’t work them, unfortunately we do not get any commission from you guys going their. Just the satisfaction of knowing you got a great deal and some sexy fun.   However, if you’re on a budget, or just fancy being creative, we also tackle ‘Make Your Own’ and ‘Vanilla Repurposing’. We had to take to Whatsapp to pick our friends brains for this one, because a) neither of us are that crafty and b) we use all our imagination on this podcast. So big shout out to our lovely friends for t

Cross-dresser. Transvestite. Gender-Fluid. Transgender. BiGender. Just a few of the words that come up in this episode. They may not mean to you what they mean to our guest, and every approach is valid when someone identifies with any or all of those words. The words we have at our disposal to describe ourselves can be key in our acceptance of who we are. Being able to successfully put across  to others, where we fall on the spectrum of gender can sometimes also be key to their understanding of who we are. Allowing for more open and beneficial conversations. [caption id="attachment_1377" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid[/caption]   Our guest for this episode presents as both male and female. George when presenting as male, and Georgie when presenting as female. When we met it was a day for she and her pronouns, despite Bakji’s accidental faux pas of ‘we are joined with a chap named George’ right at the beginning of our interview. Luckily we were talking to a very open, lov

Kinkster and Author Nookie Notes joins Bakji and Floss in this episode to discuss Female Led Relationships and her new website datingkinky.com. Part of what makes the kink community great is people with good insights on relationships and people who are will to present the community with new ideas and opportunities. Having followed Nookie Notes on Fetlife for some times and finding myself continuously loving lots of her writing, I thought why not invite her on the podcast. There were quite a few technical issues to overcome with this episode, the first time a Skype session has ever given is this much trouble, so please do bear with the episode even if there is the odd drop in sound.   Once we got chatting though we had a brilliant discussion chatting with Nookie Notes. We asked her about her writing, which you can find via her Fetlife account, she has also written a fair few books which you can find on amazon. Her books are predominantly about Female Led Relationships, with her erotica containing a good dose

Download here *** Please don't be alarmed by the new intro!!!***   TheWickedJade joins us for this episode as we pick her very knowledgable brain, about all things fashion. Kinky, sexy, fetishy fashion that is. You can follow her on Instagram (@thewickedjade) if you want to see her great pictures of some truly lovely lingerie and clothing pieces.   Once you’ve found you’ve way into the BSDM community and have decided you want to try out a Fetish event, one of the first questions people ask is ‘What do I wear?’ Nearly all of us have been there, and it can really take the edge of an event if you’re panicking that your outfit isn’t going to be right.   There can be a huge temptation to just go for the Latex option, the nature of Latex means it is inherently Fetishy, but at the same time it really isn’t for everyone. Spending the night in Latex if you really don’t enjoy it is no fun. Even those of us who absolutely love Latex, sometimes have the odd event where we just don’t feel in the Latex mood. So why not di

Swinging is our focus this week, as we are joined by Author Cooper S. Beckett. He has written three books ‘A Life Less Monogamous’, ‘Life on the Swingset’ and ‘Approaching the Swingularity’. When we have an author on the show we always attempt to read as much of their work as possible, once again we were blown away by how much we enjoyed Cooper’s writing. [caption id="attachment_1344" align="aligncenter" width="300"] My Life on the Swingset[/caption] There is often a lot of me, us, them amongst the varying subsets of alternative lifestyles. BDSM lifestylers aren’t always swingers, swingers aren’t always polyamorous and polyamorous folk may neither swing or be kinky. Some people however might be all three. Part of why I loved chatting with Cooper is that he wants us all to pull together. People outside of all three of those groups are likely to be judging us, and not kindly. The last thing we need is to be turning on each other as well.   Myself and Bakji are not swingers. We are non-monogamous kinksters who h

Relationship Engineering is this weeks topic, as Bakji and Floss return to get personal as they discuss how they manage their own relationship, within both a kink context and a romantic context.   It’s fair to say that both Bakji and Floss have quite distinct thoughts on how they like to approach relationships. Many of which have been formed by past experiences, some have been formed since joining the kink scene and a few are based on personal situations. Whatever the reason for each individual belief though, they can only really work because they are supported by both partners.   We are big believers in having the relationship that makes all involved in it happy. So this could be two people in a monogamous relationship, or it could be five people in a polycule. For us it doesn’t matter how your relationship looks, so long as it is making you happy.   A huge part of making any relationship work is communication, we are honest in saying this has been something we have definitely had to work on. It hasn’t come

Author Nicholas Tanek joins us this week to discuss his new book ‘Your Kinky Friends’. We also touch upon his other titles ‘Chipped Black Nail Polish’ and ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’. Both Bakji and Floss have read all three books between them, and they come highly recommended. It is not often you get to chat with an author about a book you have enjoyed, so this made for a really nice experience. [caption id="attachment_1330" align="aligncenter" width="193"] Your Kinky Friends[/caption] Nicholas is based in the U.S, so once again we were faced with the issue of time difference. We really wanted to bring this chat to the podcast though, so we took the hit and recorded at 1am U.K time. So you may need to look past the fact That Bakji and Floss sound a little on the tired side. We promise the next episode with be full energy and recorded at a normal time of day. We talk to Nicholas about what prompted him to join the scene, and how the BDSM community provided a positive space for him at a very low point i

Download here Staying safe is the focus of this week's episode. As I (Floss) perused the BDSM subreddit she stumbled across a post that made her stop and think. We spend a lot of time encouraging people to make friends and meet like minded people, and while we are great advocates of munches and fetish events, we do understand that sometimes those avenues aren’t everyone’s first venture into kink.   Like the writer of the Reddit post, many people get chatting to someone online and choose to move their interactions into a real life meeting. While for some people this can lead to great experiences, and wonderful friendships and relationships. For many people, it is less successful. The particular post I read was an uncomfortable one to see, and it also caused some reflection on my own past decisions.   With that in mind, I proposed the idea of this episode to Bakji. I wanted to talk about how we can best keep ourselves safe, should we choose to arrange one on one meetings with people we meet online, or perhaps

SlapStick Fetish Club has been running for a year, Bakji and Floss made their first visit back in March and were instantly seduced and it’s definitely up there as one of their top Fetish nights out. So when the lovely Pierre and Hannah who run the event agreed to come onto the podcast we were overjoyed. [caption id="attachment_1269" align="aligncenter" width="245"] SlapStick Club[/caption] We can promote other people's events as much as we like, but hearing about events from the people that organise them is even better. One of the reasons people have said they enjoy the podcast is because it shows them that there are nice, regular people on the scene, the same goes for the people arranging events. They’re nice people who want to put on awesome events for like minded kinksters. I hope that by us talking to people who run Fetish nights, it will encouraging those of you who have yet to make it to your first Fetish event, to do just that.   Topics covered in this episode:   What are their top tips for a first vi

Fellow podcasters Dick_Wound and Minimus Maximus are our guests for this episode. They host Off The Cuffs: A Kink and BDSM Podcast. When we were just a few episodes into #ProudToBeKinky, Dick_Wound reached out to us on Fetlife and offered podcasting camaraderie. We were genuinely touched, even more so when we asked for advice on guest episodes and they not only gave advice, but were active in getting us in contact with people who became future guests. [caption id="attachment_1251" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Off The Cuffs Podcast[/caption] When the conversation turned to possibly doing each other's shows we were very excited. I know we have our own podcast, which is brilliant, but going on someone else's show, well that’s a whole different ball game. So it was decided we would fire up Skype and each do a recording for the other podcast. I am happy to say we were not disappointed. Despite the geographical distance between us, it very much felt like making new friends.   Topics covered in this episodes are

Bootblacking came up in conversation back in episodes 12 and 13, when Bakji and Floss discussed the various roles you encounter on the Fetlife dropdown menu. At the time it was a new one for Bakji, and Floss had limited information but did feel it would be a fun one to discuss in the future should we meet anyone who could share their experiences of being a bootblack. [caption id="attachment_1237" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Boot Blacking[/caption] As luck would have it that is exactly what has happened. Via the wonders of internet friends, email and Skype, we are able bring to you a chat with the lovely Aiden, who came onto the podcast to discuss his experiences of being a bootblack, as well as a host of other things.   Aiden has been on the scene for around 10 years, so once again it’s nice to chat to someone with a fair amount of experience under their kinky belt. While bootblacking isn’t his primary kink, it is the one that piqued our interest and it was definitely a conversation that gave us more und

Download here Welcome to Episode 20 of #ProudToBeKinky, or should we say Episode d20, because this is another guest episode, in which we welcome a new friend of the show D20Domme and her submissive Lucky Puppy. We were absolutely delighted to have them on the podcast, and we had so much fun recording with them. So we hope you all enjoy listening to it just as much.   There are so many different ways to engage in BDSM, and as we have said in previous episodes the best way for you is the way that makes you and your partner/s happy. Guest episodes like this are brilliant because they give us all an insight into how someone else does BDSM their way.   One of the main things we were keen to chat to D20 and Lucky Puppy about was their long distance relationship. With one of them based in America and the other in the U.K at their time of meeting, we wanted to delve into the things they did to cement their connection and maintain a relationship across the many, many miles. We also discuss how they each got into kink

Welcome to Episode 19 of #ProudToBeKinky, where Bakji and Floss talk through their experiences and thoughts on the various headspaces you may encounter when you start exploring Kink, Fetish and BDSM. [caption id="attachment_1312" align="aligncenter" width="300"] SubSpace and TopSpace[/caption] When you first join the scene there are lots of new phrases you start to hear, one of the most common being 'subspace'. If you’ve played a little but never heard the term before, it can be hard to know if you've experienced it. It can also for some people become a bit of a goal to reach, and disappointment can occur for those people who struggle to get the experience of subspace they’d like.   However we don’t want anyone to feel disappointed in any aspect of their kink lifestyle. So in this episode we also cover the fact that this is something that can happen, but not experiencing it doesn’t detract from how much fun kinky play can be. In fact there may be situations in which people actively avoid subspace, so we touch