Intentional Parenting Podcast - The Show About How To Be A Great Mom Or Dad And Parent With Purpose

Show Notes In this episode, I get to interview my father-in-law, as his business, Steffen's Jewelry, celebrates its 60th Anniversary. After spending a couple years working in a watchmaking factory, Roger Steffen's dad, Ray, moved to Rensselaer, IN and opened Steffen's Jewelry in April 1956. Like Father, Like Son Roger started working for his dad in 1970 after getting trained in watch repair and jewelry work. In 1986, Roger purchased the business from his dad. Ray retired a couple years later and Roger continues in the business today. It was not an easy start in 1956 as there were two other jewelry businesses in town at the time. But through diligence and hard work, Ray was built a successful business. Family Tradition Through the years, Steffen's Jewelry has truly been a family effort. Roger's mom, Lucille, helped with the book work and after Ray retired, Roger's wife Vickie came to work for the store. For several years they have also had help from their daughter, Heather, during Christmas season and at vario

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: We had eggs. I taught Alex how to make scrambled eggs. He's becoming more interested in learning to be more self-sufficient as he gets closer and closer to college. How to Get Your Kids to Listen Getting your kids to listen is a challenge for all parents at about every stage the kids go through. In this episode, I talk about seven ideas on how to get your kids to listen to you. We have used all of these ideas at some point over the course of our parenting. The effectiveness of these tips varies on the personality of the child. Some ideas work better than others for different kids at different ages. 7 Tips for Getting your Kids to Listen to You: Remove distractions Penalize them Be patient Walk away Discipline Accountability Let them fail Their failure to benefit from your wisdom will help them to recognize your wisdom. Links: Just Me and My Dad

Show Notes In this episode, I talk with Rev. Chris Moles about the issue of domestic violence. It is estimated that one in four women are subject to some form of domestic abuse. Chris is an ordained minister with the Christian and Missionary Alliance and Senior Pastor of Grace Community Chapel (Eleanor, WV), he is a Certified Biblical Counselor (ACBC) and a certified group facilitator in domestic violence intervention and prevention, he is also a faculty member with the West Virginia Coalition against domestic violence state wide intervention training. "Pride lies at the heart of domestic violence." Links: Chris Moles website Chris Moles Coaching Options Peaceworks Domestic Violence Hotline or 800-799-SAFE (7233) Abuse: Finding Hope in Christ (Gospel for Real Life) - John Henderson

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Taking Nolan with me to get the cabinet doors replaced. If you want to improve your parenting and your relationship with your kids, start by improving your marriage and your relationship with your spouse. Good parenting starts with good "marriaging". I made that word up. I encourage you to use it in your normal vocabulary. Then whenever asked where it came from you can refer people to Intentional Parenting! We always need to work on our marriage. Communication is hard and we have to be intentional in conversation especially the listening part. Love is Patient Relationship requires patience and kindness. Loving our spouse means practicing these disciplines as we see in 1 Corinthians 13:4 - Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant. I attended a Bible Conference recently and Pastor Steve Viars shared this thought, "What if God’s patience with us was equivalent to our patience with others?" Kind of hits you between the eyes, doesn't it? Remembe

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Playing Bananagrams with Emma. In this episode, I talk about how we can use our experiences in our parenting. Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days. ~ Job 12:12 ~ Each year we get, not only another year older, but also another year wiser. We can draw from experiences we had as kids to help us in parenting our own children. I share an experience I had when I was in Boy Scouts that I was able to draw on when my son and I went on a mission trip.

Show Notes In this episode, I am joined by Mike Ferry as we talk about teaching our children to be happy. Mike is a smart guy and has done some research in the area of teaching our children to be happy. He has a book out called Teaching Happiness and Innovation. Habits We need to teach our kids habits that will make them happier and more innovative. Some of the habits include practicing gratitude and extending kindness. Along with listening to music, practicing the habits of gratitude and kindness are known producers of dopamine (i.e. the happiness transmitter). Many of us are wired to whine. Practicing dopamine producing habits will rewire us to shine! Chasing Money Mike also talks about the abundance paradox, which is when we have more than we need, it makes it more difficult for us to appreciate anything in our lives. So often we chase money and riches thinking that will make us happy. I was reminded of a quote while writing up these notes from Jim Carrey. He said, "I think everybody should get rich and fa

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: I took Emma and Nolan to All Fired Up in West Lafayette to do a craft project. We purchased a ceramic item and they got to paint it. I like to have stuff like this to do during break. Eli In this episode I talk about passive parenting and the example we find in the Bible. 1 Samuel 2 talks about Eli and the disaster that his sons are. They are wicked and sinful. The Bible calls them corrupt. But Eli doesn't do much to help the situation. He knows what's going on but he doesn't do anything about it. Kyle Idleman actually talks about this in his book, AHA (chapter 10). He says that all the action Eli took was that he gives them a good talking to. What Do We Honor More Than God? Do you honor your children more than God? God poses this question to Eli and challenges him on his job as a parent. We cannot put our children above God. Regardless of how tired we are at the end of the day, we need to take care of the things that we need to take care of. Our passive approach to the action

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Baking Christmas cookies with Emma and Nolan...but mostly Emma. In this episode, I take a look back at the past year of podcasting and run down the top 5 episodes in terms of downloads. I also point out some additional episodes that you might want to listen to if you haven't done so already. 2015 - Top Five Podcast Episodes: The Sounds of Odyssey Interview with Daniel Wallace (GLM) The Roles of Parenting Running for Autism Research I am Not a Pirate Don't Miss These Too! Decisions we Have Made in Parenting (part 1) Decisions we Have Made in Parenting (part 2) One Dad, Four Boys and Eight Crazy Days Creating a Team Identity in Your Family Lifesong for Orphans with Andy Lehman Thank you for listening! I look forward to what the coming year will bring! Happy New Year!

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Recently our family took the opportunity to ring the bell for the Salvation Army. It's one of our family traditions and helps get us into the Christmas spirit! We had two weddings that we were invited to this past weekend. Both included those that attended youth group when I was a youth leader. My wife and I were forced to split up...she attended one wedding and I attended the other. I truly wished I could have been at both. Christmas is Coming! In this episode, I also talk about the thrill of Christmas. Remember how excited you were on Christmas morning? Hopefully your family situation allowed for an exciting Christmas. I'm not naive enough to assume that everyone had the picture perfect Christmas. But regardless of the thrill you had or didn't have on Christmas, recognize that your children still have a thrill on that special morning. Do what you can to allow them to experience the thrill regardless of whether it's still there for you or not. What Christmas is All About Now th

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Taking Alex to meet with Indiana congressman, Todd Rokita. After again witnessing the musical production of Mary Poppins, I was struck by how much the show is about George Banks learning to become an intentional parent. His son, Michael, just wants to fly a kite with him but he's too busy being busy and involved in his banking career. But Mr. Banks is not just a bad father, he's also a bad husband! He's not supportive or encouraging of his wife's aspirations of getting back into being an actress. No man should be too busy for his own children. - Mr. Northbrook (Mary Poppins) In one of the scenes where Bert is asking Micheal if he wants to fly his kite, again Michael says he always wanted to fly one with his dad. After a bit of prompting from Bert about how proud his dad will be to discover how expertly he can fly a kite does Michael agree to do it. Kids are very interested in doing things and achievements that make their parents proud. Throughout the various events things turn

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Teaching Nolan the finer points of exterior illumination. In this episode, I take a look at some recent items in the news. Tim Tebow gets dumped by Miss Universe because he loves Jesus more, an 8-year old makes crosses for cops and the NY Daily News mocks prayer. It's nice to see a person of the caliber of Tim Tebow stand up as a truly positive role model for our sons. There's a neat story about an 8-yr old girl who makes crosses for officers. This reminded me of a recent podcast I heard on raising creative kids! Check out the link below. The New York Daily News came out against prayer and the supposed "meaninglessness" of it as several GOP candidates offer "thoughts and prayers in the wake of the San Bernardino tragedy. The truth is prayer does matter. It's perhaps the most important way we, as believers, can spend our time. The reality is, as Matt Walsh points out in his article, that we don't get what we want, how we want it just because we pray. It's all God. God's timing. G

Show Notes In this episode, I talk with Carrie O'Toole about adoption. She shares her story from her experience of her and her husband adopting a young boy from Viet Nam when he was 3 1/2 years old. Carrie tells us, “with adoption, things never goes as expected.” This statement rings even more true with those who have adopted children that also have attachment disorders. Children who are up for adoption have already faced trauma that has greatly affected them having experienced losing their mother and father. “Parenting a traumatized child is traumatizing,” Carrie shares in this episode. She talks about the challenges her and her husband faced in the years following this adoption and the heartbreak they felt as their son eventually moved in with another family. Carrie now coaches other families and couples who have adopted children with attachment disorders and also leads retreats for moms who have disrupted an adoption or relinquished a child. Links Carrie's website Relinquished - Whe

Show Notes Fun Time with Dad: Instead of sharing a fun time with the kids, we created one on the podcast! This podcast features my two youngest kids, Emma and Nolan. In this episode, my kids, Emma, Nolan and I talk about the upcoming holidays and some of our favorite traditions and most enjoyable parts of Thanksgiving dinner. Please pass the pumpkin pie! I also learn a disturbing fact during this episode. My kids fight sometimes! What's worse is that this sometimes happen after they study Bible! Proof that parenting isn't easy! You can parent as intentionally as possible but none of us can do it perfectly. We can keep encouraging each other along the way though! I hope this episode brings some encouragement to you and a smile to your face.

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Playing Phase 10 with Emma! In this episode I cover a few different topics. I briefly recap the Cubs' spectacular season making it all the way to the NLCS in the postseason. I look forward to the start of Illini basketball. In Stephen Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 2 is "Begin with the end in mind." I think we can apply this concept to our parenting. Just consider, what will the adult child you send off into the world look like in terms of integrity, character, servanthood, etc? We have an awesome opportunity to influence our children for the time they are under our care. Be proactive and intentional with that time! Finally, a family that needs your prayers...Rory and Joey Feek. Joey has been dealing with cancer and her body is overcome with it now as she is in hospice. Pray for them and their children. They have two adult girls and a baby girl named Indiana. Check out Rory's blog for more about their situation and consider how you can pray more specifi

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: This past weekend our family (sans the eldest child) went to see the Peanuts movie. It was a very good movie with a solid message. We all enjoyed it and I talk about why in this episode. Ten years ago I wrote a song about the responsibility I have as a dad to lead my kids as they grow. Understanding it is the Lord who guides us through the parenting journey, this song is a prayer and plea to God to help me through these years, to redeem this time and to raise my kids under His direction. I share the song at the end of the episode. The lyrics are below. Bringing Up my Boys (Raise My Little Girl) Boys run up to their Dad Ball and bat in hand Their eyes are telling me just what they need Some time with just the guys So I play for a while And they show me how good they're getting to be I just want to be the best dad that I can Watch them play, have fun and laugh Camp, fish, play baseball Share in all their joys So God help me know what to do As I'm bringing up my boys She'

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Driving to Lafayette with Alex to get some driving experience and to see Woodlawn. In this episode I talk about the importance of stretching our children in our role as parents to lead them on. As parents, we should allow our children to stretch themselves because of these two benefits: Confidence Self-sufficiency One of the virtues we learn as parents is patience. As our children are younger, especially at the toddler age, we need a lot patience as our children are learning to crawl and walk. Then, we need more patience as we allow them to help us bake cookies or work on a project in the garage. It will take a lot longer to get the project done with your kids but it’s helpful to them to learn different skills and grow in confidence as they practice these skills. Additionally, you get the added benefit of the quality time you get to spend with them.

Show Notes Andy Lehman, Vice President of Lifesong for Orphans, joins me in this episode to talk about what we can do as parents to care for orphans. Since its inception in 2002, Lifesong for Orphans has been coming along side couples who have chosen to adopt and helping them through that process. In addition to adoption support, Lifesong helps with orphan care working in 10 different countries and with 5,000 orphans around the world. Lifesong has some amazing things going on and you will want to listen in to see how you can get involved. As parents, we want to intentionally lead our children to put others first. How will you engage your children to consider orphans in need? How do you introduce them to children who have so much less than we do? Check out some of the ideas Andy talks about in this episode that you can participate in with your family! Links: http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/ http://www.lifesongchildsponsorship.org/

Show Notes In this episode, I talk with Chimene Dupler. Chimene is the founder of Passion4Moms, a ministry she started in 2011 with the goal of serving as a "cheerleader" for moms and seeking to change the trajectory of culture. Recognizing the huge impact women have as the wife and mother in their families, Chimene's organization is there to bless, encourage and inspire moms. We discuss the biggest challenges moms face today and Chimene shares advice on how we can be intentional in our parenting. Recognizing successful parenting starts with a solid foundation in Christ, Chimene talks about prioritizing our relationship with the Lord followed by the relationship with our spouse. Passion4Moms holds an annual conference with the next one being on April 29-30, 2016 in the Washington, DC area. Jen Hatmaker will serve as the featured speaker at the 2016 conference. Links: Passion4Moms.org Passion4Moms Conference Shepherding a Child's Heart

Show Notes Fun Times with Dad: Watching the NL Wild Card game, Cubs vs. Pirates, with my father-in-law How to Have "The Talk" Use the Passport 2 Purity kit >  2-day adventure with your child in a one-on-one setting Colossians 1:18 - And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. What is covered: 1. Making Wise Choices 2. Peer Pressure 3. What the Bible says about Sex 4. Purity 5. Dating The years of growing up are years to learn to work hard, to learn to become thoughtful, and to learn generosity. These are the things that will help you in life more than focusing on the opposite sex. Then when you child is ready to seek out a spouse, he will be the person she needs him to be instead of a project for her to create who she needs him to be. Links: Passport 2 Purity Family Life Dennis Rainey

Show Notes Fun Time with Dad: In this segment, I talk about what I learn from playing Settlers of Catan with my kids. Maybe I'm too competitive in these games. In this episode we take a look at some encouraging stories of intentional parenting. Many of you have had talks with school teachers or Sunday school teachers about your kids’ misbehavior. But sometimes a note of encouragement comes along or you see a response in your kids that they are “getting it.” It’s in those moments and events that we realize all this hard work is paying off. Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6 I've heard someone say that this verse could be best translated in training up a child in the way he "is bent." Though I haven't thoroughly digested this, it makes sense because God has uniquely designed each of us and our children. When we can help them discover their talents and abilities it provides encouragement to them when they can use and exce