Twice As Bright, Half As Long

After and enforced delay due to Dave's household going to war with several Internet providers, the watching of Twin Peaks can continue. In episode 22, Wyndham Earle has a new pet in the form of Leo Johnson, Thomas Eckhardt makes his presence felt, and Ben Horne wins the American Civil War for the South. In episode 23, Josie is left with nowhere to turn as Eckhardt closes in from one side and Cooper closes in on the other after Albert finds evidence that she was the person who shot Cooper. In episode 24, Harry struggles to cope with Josie's death, Earle is unhappy with Cooper's chess move, and a benefit in aid of the pine weasel descends into chaos. They also discuss the identity of the weasel messiah, enjoy a moment imported form Hey, an Actor!, and delight in The Phantom arriving in Twin Peaks. SLAM WEASEL!

Ian and Dave find themselves in something of a narrative wasteland with the three episodes of Twin Peaks they are covering this month. In episode 19, Cooper's search for a cabin to buy leads him directly to Jean Renault's hideout, Boring Mike finds himself humiliated in front of the wrestling team by Nadine, and Ben grows ever more eccentric. In episode 20, Major Briggs is debriefed after his return from the White Lodge, Denise goes undercover with Ernie to get the evidence to clear Cooper but things go wrong, and it leads to a final confrontation between Cooper and Renault. In episode 21, the widow of Dougie Milford is held at gunpoint by the Mayor, Leo Johnson wakes up in a foul mood, and Wydham Earle steps out of the shadows. They also recast scenes with actors from the Carry On films, marvel at the presence of David Warner doing not very much, and brave the terror of Jeddy!

Dave and Ian come to an important turning point in Twin Peaks. In episode 16, Cooper must draw upon everything he has learned in the wake of Maddy's murder in order to stop Bob before he kills again, leading him to a final confrontation which costs Leyland his life. In episode 17, the town is left reeling at the news of Leyland's guilt and subsequent death. Cooper prepares to leave Twin Peaks, but an FBI internal affairs investigation halts his departure. In episode 18, a suspended Cooper stands by his actions and finds an ally in DEA agent Denise Bryson. Jean Renault makes his play for One-Eyed Jacks and Cooper's career. They also uncover more of Ian's sordid criminal past in Canada, and Dave's intro to The Log Ian really isn't trying that hard anymore.

Ian and Dave are back for three eventful episodes of Twin Peaks. In episode 13, Cooper brings Audrey back to Ben, Cooper's superior Gordon Cole comes to Twin Peaks with news of the mysterious Wyndham Earl, and Phillip Gerard is reveled to be Mike. In Episode 14, Mike leads Cooper to the Great Northern hotel in search of Bob, all evidence seems to point to Ben Horne, but the real killer is about to strike again with tragic consequences for Maddy. In Episode 15, Ben finds himself having to rely on Jerry for legal council, and Leland's increasingly erratic behavior hides the evil of Bob. Also, they now have to differentiate between two characters called Mike, reflect on the poor choices of Big Ed, and make a lot of 90s wrestling references (and some are even relevant).

Dave and Ian continue to make their way through season two of Twin Peaks. In episode 10, Audrey is being held for ransom at One-Eyed Jack's by Blackie and Jacques Renault's brother Jean, there is desertion in the Scooby Gang as Donna meets the mysterious Harold Smith and become jealous of James and Maddy, and Leland is arrested for Jacques's murder. In episode 11, Leland confesses, Judge Sternwood arrives in town, and there are rumors that a well-known travel writer will soon visit. In episode 12, Cooper and Harry attempt to rescue Audrey while Donna and Maddy attempt to steal Laura's diary from Harold. They also discuss how awesome Deputy Hawk is, how dopey Deputy Andy is, and what Statistician Ian gets up to on his holidays.

In this bonus episode, Dave and Ian return to the world of The Middleman with the Indiegogo-funded "The Pan Universal Parental Reconciliation." In the comic book world of the Middleman, Wendy Watson meets her new boss: her long-missing father, Wally Watson. When a zombie Middleman runs amok they find themselves in the TV universe and must work with their counterparts to put a stop to the environmental devastation caused by Ivan Navi's vacuum cleaner business.

Ian and Dave embark on season two of Twin Peaks. In episode eight, on top of having just been shot, Cooper is visited by a spectral giant who makes cryptic predictions. Albert returns to town to investigate Cooper's shooting and deliver some news about Cooper's ex-partner, Maddie is having strange nightmares, and Leland Palmer undergoes something of a transformation after his murder of Jacques. In episode nine, the Horne brother continue to scheme, Audrey continues to get out of her depth at One-Eyed Jacks, and the Scooby Gang sing a song for apparently no other reason than to annoy Dave. Also the Twin Peaks tree of douchebaggery is laid out and there is much discussion of cheese.

Dave and Ian come to the end of season one of Twin Peaks. In episode five, Cooper and his team search for Jacques Renault but find the Log Lady instead, while Audrey starts work at her father's department store to find out what happens to girls who work on the perfume counter. In episode six, Waldo the minor bird is taken in for questioning and Cooper asks the Bookhouse Boys to assist him in an investigation, not knowing that Audrey has also found her way there. In episode seven, Donna, James, and Maddy investigate Dr. Jacobi, Leo burns the lumber mill with Shelly inside, Catherine learns of Ben's true plans for her, and someone gives Cooper a lethal visit. They round up where every character is at the end of the season, Ian's suspect watch continues, and Dave establishes the podcast's official policy on the pronunciation of the word gif.

Ian and Dave continue to make their way through the first season of Twin Peaks. In episode two, Cooper employs an unorthodox technique to narrow down who the mysterious "J" might be, and acerbic FBI forensics expert Albert Rosenfield arrives in Twin Peaks. In episode three, Cooper tells Harry about a dream he had which he believes will lead him to Laura's killer, Harry has enough of Albert, and Laura's funeral becomes a spectacle. In episode four, Cooper and Harry track down the one armed man, Andy has problems handling his weapon, and Audrey begins an investigation of her own. Ian reveals his dark past in Canada, there's a Venn diagram of Paul Verhoeven and David Lynch, and they introduce a new feature: The Log Ian.

With the Year of Cheese squarely behind them, Dave and Ian embark on their biggest project to date: David Lynch's Twin Peaks. In the pilot, the town of Twin Peaks is struck by tragedy when popular local girl Laura Palmer is found murdered, and Twin Peaks Sheriff Harry S. Truman finds himself out of his depth. When a second victim is found alive having crossed state lines, Harry is relieved to find FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper assigned to the case. In episode one, Cooper begins his investigation in earnest, Donna and James grow closer, and a fish contaminates Pete Martell's coffee. They also discuss a potential battle of the Facebook groups, bemoan the fact that the DVD really wants you to play one of the special features, and Ian expresses his love of the Log Lady.

Ian and Dave bring The Year of Cheese to a close with the final three episodes of Manimal. In "Scrimshaw," Chase finds himself on the hunt for treasure when Brooke discovers a walrus tusk with clues to a hidden fortune etched on it. In "Breath of the Dragon," Chase comes to the aid of an old family friend when his Chinese restaurant comes under threat from a local gangster. And in "Night of the Beast," Chase and pals go on a camping trip and end up foiling a plan by the mob and a corrupt sheriff to pressure a small town to legalize gambling. The also discuss the series as a whole, look back at the past year of cheesy goodness, and look forward to a very different show for 2016.

Dave and Ian are back to cover another three episodes of Manimal. In "Night of the Scorpion," Chase helps an attractive young woman when her father is killed after discovering a list of KGB spies in the CIA. In "Female of the Species," Chase helps an attractive young woman who has been raised by wolves when she is brought to New York and becomes a target for an assassin. And in "High Stakes," Chase helps an attractive young woman who discovers that her kidnapped racehorse is being run by an unscrupulous rival under a different name. They also continue to be impressed by how Brooke is progressing, discuss the appeal of steel drums, and marvel at Panther PI.

Ian and Dave embark on the final show of The Year of Cheese with Manimal. In "Manimal," police officer Brooke Mackenzie stumbles across an arms smuggling ring that leads to her partner's death. Her pursuit of justice leads her to police consultant Dr. Jonathan Chase and his friend Ty. She soon discovers that Chase has learned the secret of transforming into animals. In "Illusion," Brooke leads the arrest of a smuggler with diplomatic immunity, while Chase must clear an innocent tiger of murder. They also discuss the bizarre rules of Chase's transformation, how Brooke is almost but not quite a progressive character, and Ian despairs at Dave's increasingly tortuous transformation puns.

Dave and Ian reach the end of The Summer of Crime Traveller. In "The Lottery Experiment," Slade thinks he has a way of beating a paradox and winning the lottery. While back in the past, his efforts to give Holly the winning numbers hit a snag when Grisham assigns him to protect a shipment of gold. In "The Broken Crystal," an expensive component malfunctions, rendering the time machine permanently inoperable. Slade is assigned to investigate a series of murders and discovers that the prime suspect has a time machine of his own. They also look back at the series as a whole, name their series MVPs, and rejoice in a moment of pure distilled Crime Traveller silliness.

Ian and Dave brave another two episodes of Crime Traveller. In "Sins of the Father," Slade finds himself implicated in the theft of some diamonds, and discovers that the case is related to the reason his father is in prison. In "Death Minister," Holly refuses to let Slade use the machine as it is becoming burnt out, Slade uses it behind her back, and Holly must turn detective in order to find him. The is also discussion of episodes not living up to their titles, the show dropping overt Doctor Who references, and the welcome surprise of an actor they are familiar with from their previous podcast.

Dave and Ian continue to forge their way through Crime Traveller. In "Fashion Shoot," Slade and Holly use the time machine to investigate the murder of a fashion designer. In "The Revenge of the Chronology Protection Hypothesis," Slade is shot and critically wounded, so Holly travels back in time despite her own theories stating that she can't change what happens. They bemoan some appalling writing, get one episode which is closer to what Dave would like the show to be, and discuss why why Ian is like Captain America.

Ian and Dave find themselves on opposite sides of the fence as they begin to watch the British time-travel cop show Crime Traveller. In "Jeff Slade and the Loop of Infinity," "maverick" policeman Jeff Slade discovers that his colleague, science officer Holly Turner, has a time machine in her flat. He persuades her to let him use it to investigate an apparent suicide. In "A Death in the Family," Holly's aunt is murdered, and Slade talks her into using the time machine to try and prevent it from happening. Ian reads out Dave's angry texts to him about having to watch this show, and doesn't know what Dave is so upset about. Dave suggests an alternative version of the show without its leading man, and rants about the worst realized police station in television history.

As Street Hawk hyperthrusts into the sunset, Dave and Ian cover the last three episodes. In "The Arabian," Jessie investigates the kidnapping of a valuable racehorse. In "The Female of the Species," Street Hawk is assigned to assist the FBI in protecting a prominent man who has come under threat but is he really the target? And in "Follow the Yellow Gold Road," a neighborhood vigilante claims that Street Hawk is working for them and find themselves unwitting accomplices to a series of gold robberies. They also look back at the series as a whole, and Statistician Ian returns with a new jingle courtesy of one Pandy Wilson.

Ian and Dave cover three more episodes of Street Hawk. In "The Unsinkable 453," Jessie and Norman investigate when a mercenary escapes from a prison transport and attempts to get his hands on a large amount of money hidden on a ship that's about to be sunk. In "Hot Target," Norman reconnects with an old flame when Street Hawk is assigned to stop the illegal sale of laser weapons. And in "Murder is a Novel Idea," a writer finds herself targeted when she announces she is going to publish a book that will reveal the killer in a long-standing murder case. They also discuss the writers' lack of understanding of the publishing industry, learn more from the Rex Smith Acting Masterclass, and come up with a couple of potential spin-off shows. One of which features a crime-fighting moustache.

Dave and Ian are shocked to discover two of the three Street Hawk episodes they watched for this show are actually okay! In "Dog Eat Dog," Jessie must help a pop star who's targeted when she ends up in possession of an incriminating videotape. In "Fire on the Wing," Street Hawk takes on an ultralight that is firebombing warehouses as part of a protection racket. And in "Chinatown Memories," Jessie is asked by an old girlfriend to help her fiance who has stolen a valuable artifact from the Chinese Tong. They also discuss which episode is a poor attempt at a retread of Casablanca, Rachel finally being given something to do, and Ian discovers the joys of "The Safety Dance."