Twice As Bright, Half As Long

After surviving the pilot episode, Ian and Dave dive into three episodes of Street Hawk. In "A Second Self," the head of a carjacking ring swears vengeance when his brother is killed after Street Hawk foils a car theft. He hires a driver to help trap and kill Street Hawk who just happens to be two-time Academy Award winner George Clooney. In "The Adjuster," Street Hawk breaks up a jewelry smuggling ring, but, when the fence escapes, Jessie must partner with violent New York cop Joe Cannon who has an agenda of his own. And in "Vegas Run," Jessie and Norman help a Las Vegas showgirl who is due to testify against the mob. Can Street Hawk get her to the courthouse safely? They also discuss Street Hawk's habit of murdering people, Jessie Mach's dating tips, and, of course, the return of Rex Smith's acting masterclass.

Dave and Ian are joined by Dan Toland, and together they discuss the feature-length pilot of Street Hawk. In the debut episode, Jessie Mach, a motorcycle cop who only knows the streets, is seriously injured in an incident that kills his partner and is recruited by Federal Agent Norman Tuttle to ride an experimental all-terrain pursuit motorcycle code named Street Hawk. Along they way they discuss hilariously dated technology, anime parodies, and Rex Smith's acting masterclass.

Ian and Dave close out 2014 with the final four episodes of Life on Mars. In episode 13, Sam suffers an overdose and starts to hallucinate, while CID must solve a kidnapping that is linked to an old murder case. In episode 14, Sam's 21st century girlfriend says goodbye as Sam meets her mother during a case of murder and drug smuggling. In episode 15, Gene wakes up after a drunken night out to find he may have killed someone, and Sam must clear his name. In episode 16, Sam is told that he must destroy Gene if he wants to go home, but finds that nothing is what it seems, home isn't everything he thought it would be, and discovers he needs to make a choice. They also discuss the show as a whole, and Statistician Ian reveals the first show to be covered in what Dave has dubbed The Year of Cheese.

Dave and Ian are back with four more episodes of Life on Mars. In episode nine, Sam hears the voice of an old enemy at his bedside while encountering his younger self in 1973. In episode 10 Sam encounters his mentor as a young man, while Gene's mentor returns for one last case. In episode 11, Sam's overconfidence about a suspected IRA bomb leads to Ray being caught in the blast and the team turning against him. And in episode 12, a murdered girl leads to Sam and Annie going undercover at a swingers party. The alternative titles continue to aggravate Dave, who also keeps getting whistling and whispering confused. Ian is forced to podcast sober with mixed results. Join them for the latest bout of podcasting tomfoolery. Mayhem.

Ian and Dave cover the second half of Life on Mars's first season. Episode five sees Sam and Gene investigate a murder that appears to be link with football hooligans, and involves them working a memorable shift in a pub. In episode six, Sam hears his mother say that his life support is going to be turned off at two o'clock, which is also the deadline given by a gunman who has taken hostages at a local newspaper. In episode seven, Sam is determined to have a full and transparent investigation of a death-in-custody, but it seems everyone has something to hide. And, in episode eight, Sam meets his dad when Vic Tyler is arrested in connection with organized crime. How far will Sam go to keep his family together, and is Vic as innocent as he seems? Along the way Ian reveals the collective noun for a group of Wilsons, and Dave reveals why the season finale is difficult for him to watch.

Dave and Ian start covering the British version of Life on Mars. In episode one, DCI Sam Tyler is hit by a car and wakes up in 1973 where he must solve a series of murders that are connected to a case he was working on in 2006, all while butting heads with his new boss: DCI Gene Hunt. In episode two, Sam stops Gene from framing an armed robber and faces the consequences. In episode three, Sam and Gene investigate a murder in a textile mill that will one day be Sam's flat. And in episode four, Sam stands up to a local gangster who has a deal with Gene, and meets his mother as a young woman. They also trade David Bowie impersonations, Dave educates Ian on the 70s police procedure, and Ian makes a very unfortunate mispronunciation of Gene's last name.

Ian and Dave get together for a special bonus episode covering the table-reading of the unmade episode of The Middleman: "The Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse," from the 2009 San Diego Comic-Con. The episode sees Manservant Neville's nefarious schemes come to fruition. Wendy and The Middleman must stop him from warping the very fabric of reality itself and turning all the beans into peas. They also embrace the use of wrestling terminology to describe the crowd's reaction, and celebrate a towering performance from Mark Sheppard.

Dave and Ian bring their summer of The Middleman to a close with the final three episodes. In "The Vampiric Puppet Lamentation," Wendy must stop The Middleman and Lacey from taking part in a demonic puppet-based wedding ceremony that will unleash vampires upon an unsuspecting world, and Noser is forced to reveal a secret from his past. In "The Clotharian Contamination Protocol," the unexpected return of the Voyager 2 probe leads to a lockdown of Middleman HQ, and Wendy having to journey inside Ida in order to save the world from nanobots. And in "The Palindrome Reversal Palindrome," Wendy finds herself in a parallel universe where she seeks help from their Middleman who is not quite the man she knows and neither is their Wendy. They also discuss the show as a whole, Ian reveals his childhood history with puppets, and Dave stands up for the musical career of Bruce Willis.

Dave and Ian continue the summer of The Middleman. In "The Cursed Tuba Contingency," Wendy and The Middleman must recover a cursed tuba from an immortal survivor of The Titanic. In "The Ectoplasmic Panhellenic Investigation," a haunting of a sorority house leads to The Middleman having his body possessed by a nascent mad scientist. And in "The Obsolescent Cryogenic Meltdown," a robbery with a familiar MO leads to the revival of a Middleman from the 60s who struggles to coexist with his modern counterpart. They also discuss what Ian's smut threshold is, and Dave explains the phenomena of chap-hop.

Ian and Dave return for three more episodes of The Middleman. In "The Manicoid Teleportation Conundrum," Aliens living on Earth are being kidnapped and Wendy's break-up video becomes an Internet sensation. In "The Flying Fish Zombifaction," Wendy and The Middleman must find out who is creating zombies that crave trout. And in "The Boy-Band Superfan Interrogation," The Middleman must choose between Ida and defeating a group of alien generals disguised as a boy band. On the way, Dave must innovate to convey something that doesn't translate to audio, while Ian finds himself in the outtake section again. Art Crawl!

Dave and Ian tackle their first series from the US as the begin to make their way through the 2008 show The Middleman. In "The Pilot Episode Sanction," artist Wendy Watson is recruited as a sidekick to a mysterious man who foils villainy on a comic book scale, and must stop a super-intelligent gorilla from taking over the mob. In "The Accidental Occidental Conception," the schemes of a Terra Cotta Warrior mean The Middleman and Wendy must journey to the underworld. In "The Sino-Mexican Revolution," Wendy has to rescue the legendary martial artist Sensei Ping and the Middleman from a group of vengeful lucha libre wrestlers. Statistician Ian returns, Dave shakes his fist at sexist network interference, and Ian is in need of a cold shower.

Ian and Dave come to the end of Neverwhere. In "Down Street," the Door, Richard, and Hunter make the dangerous return journey to give the key to Islington, the Marquis returns from the dead and the traitor is revealed. In "As Above, So Below," Richard and the Marquis must join forces to free Door from Islington but first they must vanquish the Beast of London Below. They discuss the series as a whole. Get audio feedback from some old friends, and some last minute email feedback with some fantasy casting. Everyone agrees that the Beast of London Below is shit.

Dave and Ian watch two more episodes of Neverwhere. In "Earl's Court to Islington," Door and Richard search for the portal to the Angel Islington's domain while The Marquis de Carabas does some investigating of his own. In "Blackfriars," Richard must endure an ordeal to secure a key for Islington while de Carabas plays a dangerous game with Croup and Vandemar. Dave makes a suggestion for Hey, an Actor!, and Ian rants about inaccurate museum representation and kills the English language.

Ian and Dave begin their second show: Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. In "Door," self-described normal, boring man Richard Mayhew rescues a girl called Door from assassins. This act leads him to discover the strange, hidden world of London Below. In "Knightsbridge," Richard attempts to find Door in London Below while Door and The Marquis de Carabas search for evidence that will lead them to those responsible for the murders of Door's family. Statistician Ian returns, they briefly discuss the US Ultravilolet pilot, and Ian has to confess more things he hasn't seen.

Dave and Ian close the book on their first series with the last two episodes of Ultraviolet. In "Terra Incognita," a Brazilian immigrant leads the team to a Code V experiment with synthetic blood, and Vaughan finds himself in mortal danger. In "Persona Non Grata," the team have a Code V in custody, and Michael's loyalty is put to the test as their enemy's endgame is revealed. They also discuss the show overall, what they would have like to have seen in a second season, ponder who is the Paul Darrow of Ultraviolet, and Ian marks Dave's Latin pronunciation.

Ian and Dave cover two more episodes of Ultraviolet. In "Sub Judice," the team investigate a barrister who's womb is being used to incubate a human / Code V hybrid. In "Mea Culpa," a schoolboy murders a priest. Is it a simple case of teenaged violence, or a symptom of a Code V experiment? Will there be any laughs to be had given the dour nature of these stories? If anyone can find them it's Wilson and Probert.

Dave Probert and Ian Wilson are back with an exciting new show that in no way borrows heavily from their previous one. (This may be a lie.) They begin their viewing of short-lived TV shows with the British one-season wonder Ultraviolet. In "Habeas Corpus," Policeman Michael Colefield discovers that the world isn't what he thinks it is when his partner goes missing, and a mysterious team investigates his disappearance. The truth will change his life. In "In Nomine Patris," Michael joins the team, and his first case involves a millionaire's son, stock market trading, and illegal experimentation on the terminally ill. They also discuss late 90s nostalgia, the best way to make an entrance, and the triumphant return of Statistician Ian.

It's a trailer for Dave Probert and Ian Wilson's next show: Twice as Bright, Half as Long!