We Want The D

Disney is no stranger to Broadway adaptation, although typically its one of their classics being adapted for the stage. So INTO THE WOODS, a Sondheim musical that puts a dark spin on classic fairy tales, is a bit of an outlier. On paper it seems like a natural pairing, but in practice it seems like something may have gotten a little lost in translation - and not just nine songs and forty minutes of run time. Join Vicky, Nolan and Jill as they try to articulate just how this movie falls short, breathe a sigh of relief as they learn Mary Poppins-to-be Emily Blunt has some singing chops, and try to suss out just what is a James Corden.

A thought experiment for you, D-Lovers. Given the title of Disney's 1975 movie, ONE OF OUR DINOSAURS IS MISSING, what do you think the plot could be? If you're anything like Vicky, Nolan and Jill, you may have come up with some ideas based on past experience. Maybe a monitor lizard is pelted by gamma rays and gets bigger. Maybe some weird combination of rudimentary claymation and green screen is used to tell some wacky tale of a Dinosaur going to college, or even more likely, gambling. But nope, instead we get literally one of the most racist movies our hosts have ever seen, starring Peter Ustinov and a number of other white character actors made up to look "Chinese." It's bad, guys. It's real bad. 

No point in burying the lead - Disney's MR. MAGOO is a terrible movie. Just truly awful. We won't waste your time describing the countless ways this movie fails to be more than an exercise in torture - after all Vicky, Nolan and Jill spend an hour doing so in the podcast you're about to hear. But just know that this movie has a seven (7) on Rotten Tomatoes. A seven. And that's not one of those really low scores because there's only three or four reviews - twenty-nine professional critics contributed to that score. And you know what? The two that actually count as "fresh" reviews should have their credentials removed and burned in a fire, and be forced to watch Mr. Magoo over and over again as punishment for their endorsement of this incoherent garbage mess.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill just can't get enough of that high seas adventure, so we're getting back on the boat and going back to where it all began with Disney's TREASURE ISLAND. Not only was this the movie that launched a thousand(ish) attempts to create pirate movies that all inevitably flopped, until a certain franchise based on a theme park ride over fifty years later; not only is it the first fully live action film Disney ever made; but most importantly its the movie that created many of the tropes you recognize when you think of what a pirate looks and sounds like. And that alone is worth the price of admission.

There were some high hopes going into this week's episode of We Want The D. This Wonderful World of Disney original movie seems to have a lot going for it: It was one of Keira Knightly's earliest leading roles; it's a Robin Hood story, which have generally been well-received on this podcast; and it came highly recommended from a loyal and beloved listener. But it's all for naught, no matter how much Vicky, Nolan and Jill may have wished they liked this movie. It's too difficult to look past how the title character gets sidelined for a long-haired Stephen Moyer, even when she's easily putting out the best (and pretty much only good) performance. It's too distracting looking at the bizarre costume and production design. It's too cringe-worthy watching the barely choreographed "fight scenes." But despite all it's shortcomings, it's still a blast to talk about, so enjoy this week's look at PRINCESS OF THIEVES.

This week on We Want The D we're heading back into the Disney Dark Ages with DRAGONSLAYER; a movie so outside the realm of Disney's brand they didn't even put their title card in front of it. This movie makes a lot of mistakes: trying to blend Disney's family friendly image with a dark fantasy movie replete with bloody virginal sacrifices; casting an actor who later defined his career by playing weirdos and oddballs as a heroic and romantic lead; being badly written. But for all those mistakes and missteps, and for all the House of Mouse may want to pretend they never made this film, this movie actually defined a decade of fantasy films and influenced some of the genre's greatest modern storytellers. Add in some innovative and still-impressive special effects and you have a recipe for a classic episode of Vicky, Nolan and Jill being torn between praise and condemnation all in the same breath. 

Welcome, D-Lovers, to the 150th episode of We Want The D! We've loved going on this strange, hilarious, sometimes disturbingly graphic journey with you, and we hope you've enjoyed accompanying us; whether you've been with us since episode one or if this is your first episode. We appreciate each and every one of you, so it's no wonder we turned to you, the listeners, to help us decide which Disney movie to watch for this milestone episode. We're excited to keep going from here, with more fun and surprises to come. Check out our new Patreon page here!

Make no mistake, D-Lovers, there's plenty to talk about when it comes to HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE, the theatrical film based on the Disney Channel property so massive, the House of Mouse convened a special conference of sixty old white dudes (probably) to discuss how to best market a teenage girl. The concept is silly, the themes are counter-productive, and the sitcom-y, slapstick humour doesn't quite translate to the big screen. But Vicky, Nolan and Jill really just use this episode as an excuse to talk about Miley Cyrus, and how she embodies the pre and post-Disney Star Child archetype - from squeaky clean performer to grinding with Beetlejuice at the VMAs and back again. 

There's a question that lies at the centre of this week's episode of We Want The D that has our hosts divided. Can a movie that is so dumb in so many ways be saved by the fact that ducks walk funny and make funny noises? It's a question that could only be raised by 1970s Disney, and specifically in this case by MILLION DOLLAR DUCK. This may be the only time in We Want The D history where critics at the time of this movie's release were harsher on it than our hosts are - but we can't say we blame them. So pull out your 60s/70s Live Action Disney bingo cards and get ready for some classic bad parenting, animal hijinks, and extended car chase sequences with men in suits. 

Every so often Vicky, Nolan and Jill will encounter a Disney movie that raises an interesting philosophical question for them to really sick their teeth into. TUCK EVERLASTING, another in the "adaption of a beloved children's book none of us have read" series, could have raised interesting questions around what it means to live a "worthwhile" life or if living forever is truly living if you just mostly sit around a cabin with your immortal parents and immortal mopey older brother. And sure, we give about the same amount of time to exploring those questions and themes as the movie does (that is, not much). But mostly we're hung up on the age old question of just how creepy is it when a guy who looks seventeen but is actually 104 is obsessed with a girl who looks twelve but is actually played by a twenty year-old actress. Also whatever Ben Kingsley is doing in this movie is incredibly distracting. All that and more on this week's We Want The D!

Vicky, Nolan and Jill tackle the Disney/Pixar March Madness bracket that's been making the rounds online. Find the bracket here to follow along, and share your own results with us on Twitter or Facebook!

It shouldn't really be a surprise that back in the 60s Disney had two multi-film franchises set on college campuses that featured an administration and authority-defying lead, but here we are. But while one franchise featured the boyish charms of cool kid Kurt Russell, THE MISADVENTURES OF MERLIN JONES takes a slightly different tact by having frequent We Want The D favourite Tommy Kirk take on the titular role of the "scrambled egghead." A character who is willing to accuse a judge of diamond theft and murder, and kidnap and hypnotize a chimp without its consent...all in the pursuit of science, we guess? Also featuring the singing "talents" of Annette Funicello, who demonstrates an incredible ability to wait in a car.

Let's be honest, D-Lovers, Disney hasn't had the best track record when it comes to movies that tread the line between fictional film and nature documentary. As it turns out, however, all it really took to pull one such feature off was a director with a vision, an actor with the gumption to pretend to eat dozens of mice, and what must have been an inhuman tolerance for shooting outdoors in the arctic for more than two years. NEVER CRY WOLF is insane on paper, and maybe a little insane on screen, but it's all part of what drew Vicky, Nolan and Jill into this story of survival. These diamonds in the rough are few and far between when it comes to 1980s Disney, but this is one of the brightest we've watched yet. 

We Want The D goes to the movies once again this week, as Vicky, Nolan and Jill have a spoiler-filled discussion on Disney's latest offering, A WRINKLE IN TIME. Stay tuned at the end (or skip to it if you plan on seeing the movie and don't want to be spoiled) for a bonus look at two recently released trailers for upcoming Disney films as well (starting at around 1:10:22).

We admit it, D-Lovers, there's no good reason that our hosts are talking about another Western-themed Disney movie this week. But there's also no good reason for Disney to have made a sequel to The Apple Dumpling Gang, especially one that does not feature the titular gang, so at least we're in good company. Best Vicky, Nolan and Jill can figure, THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG RIDES AGAIN is just an excuse to get classic comedy duo Don Knotts and Tim Conway in a bunch of fun costumes and have them run around causing trouble while the barest semblance of a plot happens around them. In the process they've swapped out Donovan, Dusty an the ragamuffin kids for a supporting cast of gross moustaches, fabulous hair, and really long guns. It's hijinks galore this week on We Want The D.

Nostalgia. It's something that Disney peddles and trades in as part of their bread and butter. What other company can put their classic titles in a vault for years on end, then bring them out whenever they feel like it and make millions off them all over again? But nostalgia is a fickle thing, as one of our hosts learns this week when we watched TALL TALE. A movie with so much potential thanks to a pretty solid concept and a really solid cast (anchored by none other that Patrick Swayze) that nonetheless decides to go in a more nonsensical, aimless direction. But how can a movie that falls so short be connected to such warm memories? It's a mystery we hope to solve, this week on We Want The D.

Judgement Day. Empire Strike Back. The Dark Knight. The Godfather Part II. All of these movies have something in common: they are sequels that far surpass the original. But first on that list should be Disney's THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER, which continues to follow the adventures of the glamourous Miss Bianca and the dependable Bernard as they travel around the globe, saving children from larger-than-life danger. Down Under just does everything better - the adventure is bigger, the sidekicks are funnier and more charming, and the villains - oh my god the villains. Add in some gorgeous, groundbreaking animation and its easy to see why this overlooked gem of the early Disney Renaissance is a beloved classic to those in the know. And now you are too, dear listeners. 

It's finally here, what may be the most hotly anticipated (or painfully dreaded, depending on your perspective) episode of We Want The D. We won't keep you long, because as you may suspect, the written word can't really do justice to this Disney Channel Original Movie. Just know that yes, this movie did necessitate ninety-plus minutes of discussion from Vicky, Nolan and Jill - putting our hosts dangerously close to releasing an episode longer than the actual movie they watched. 

We Want The D knows more than most that Disney has made some harebrained movies over the years. Heck, they pretty much have a whole period dedicated to movies with mundane supernatural elements that involve long gambling sequences. But perhaps no movie has challenged our hosts to wonder what is going through the heads of Disney executives more than The Country Bears. It's one thing to make a movie based on a theme park ride, but Country Bear Jamboree isn't really a ride, and they don't even both to use most of the characters featured at the attraction/exhibit/whatever. Instead we get some passable animatronic bears with no distinct personalities, a world with no internal logic to deal with the fact that 0.1% of the population are walking, talking bears, and a family movie that doesn't have any amount of appeal for children or adults. Why and how this movie got made is a mystery Vicky, Nolan and Jill aren't able to solve, but have some fun in the attempt. 

We all know the story of Davy Crockett, D-Lovers. Frontiersman, soldier, hunter, state representative, Alamo rememberer. His real-life exploits have been fuel for story and legend for over a century. And in 1955, Disney took three episodes of television they made about him, did some light editing (including some grainy nature documentary footage they found literally on a cutting room floor) and released it in theatres as DAVY CROCKETT, KING OF THE WILD FRONTIER. This sparked a bit of Crockett-mania; and Vicky, Nolan and Jill kinda get it. Sure, we view the story of American expansion quite a bit differently these days, so watching Davy and his compatriots slaughter Native Americans en masse for the first half hour while claiming the moral high ground is more than a little uncomfortable. But the on-location shooting, the charm of Fess Parker in the titular role, and the decision to portray President Andrew Jackson as the villain he was all make this a pretty watchable movie, at least compared to the other TV-e