We Want The D

As the scariest time of year draws to a close, our hosts are discussing what may be the most terrifying subject we've seen yet - the innate fear in all of us of having to walk home alone at night. That's right, it's time to look at Disney's take of the legend of Sleepy Hollow and the Headless Horseman...which because it came out in the 1940s was paired with the story of an anthropomorphic toad that was sent to jail for joyriding in a stolen car. Also very scary! So join us on our journey merrily on our way to nowhere as we debate the true fate of Ichabod Crane, the nature of mania, and share some stories of our own scary walks home.

Long time D-sciples will know that Disney hasn't really stockpiled a plethora of Halloween-themed movies in their theatrical catalog, but rather than let this spookiest time of year go unacknowledged, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are returning to the well of Disney's televised movie offerings. After being nigh-on inundated with requests, we had no choice but to go with MR. BOOGEDY and its sequel BRIDE OF BOOGEDY, movies that may very well have scarred many children in their time. But watching these as adults - hoo boy. One is too short, the other too long. One has about four sets, the other has about four unnecessary characters. One has a joke vacuum cleaner, the other has a true-crime wax museum. The sheer insanity of these movies would be frightening in their own way, if they weren't just so gosh-darn silly.

We're kicking off this spooktacular season with a mini-episode looking at the most gruesome, disturbing, karmic deaths in the Disney animated canon. Note this episode was recorded back before we had watched some of the movies referenced, so no you did not travel through time while listening to this episode!

It's time for another edition of 1960s/70s Disney live action Mad Libs! You know the one, it's Ron Miller's favourite game. The one where you just fill in the blanks between the phrases like "illegal gambling," "extended car chase," and "adult romance plot." In the case of THE NORTH AVENUE IRREGULARS we get some real doozies, though - "cool new Reverend," "Treasury Department, and "church explosion" to name just a few. And for as predictable as this era of Disney has gotten for our hosts, that last one was a real surprise - showing that even after all these episodes watching all these movies, we may never get a bead on the strange mind of Ron Miller.

Hold on to your peanuts and crackerjacks, D-Lover, we're going back old to the old ball game this week on We Want The D. Rather than a scrappy underdog story that Disney tends to love for their sports movies, however, MILLION DOLLAR ARM centers mostly on a successful sports agent who hit a bit of a rough patch, and may have to sell his very large LA home or perhaps even his luxury sports car if he can't find two young Indian boys to exploit for his own personal gain. In an unexpected twist, this film is actually based on a rather wholesome story that Disney had to dirty up a bit to make dramatically interesting; but the results are mixed, to say the least. We'll try not to hold that one strike against them.

When Mother Abbess from The Sound of Music told us to "climb every mountain" she probably wasn't talking about the Matterhorn; or as it's called in Disney's THIRD MAN ON THE MOUNTAIN, the Citadel. But don't try to tell young(ish) Rudi Matt that, even though his own father was killed while climbing its treacherous slopes. No sir, climbing is in Rudi's blood, so no amount of stern gazes from a hard-faced uncle, cautious lessons from his father's old partner, or flirtatious looks from his super-great sweetheart will deter him. It's another on-location stunt-spectacular of classic live action Disney and our hosts couldn't be more pleased.

Disney hits more than a few stumbling block with the early-80s entry THE LAST FLIGHT OF NOAH'S ARK. Just entering the period where they attempt to create less kid-friendly fare, instead they let the children and animals fade into the background while focusing on an unconvincing love story between Elliott Gould and French Canadian actress Geneviève Bujold, a pair of Japanese Stragglers, and a truly awful, just awful song. What could have been basically Six Days, Seven Nights nearly two decades early turns out to be one of the most confounding movies we've watched so far.

As students head back to school after summer vacation, our hosts are heading back to Medfield Collage along with Dexter Riley, Schuyler, Dean Higgins, Girl and the rest of the gang in Disney's THE COMPUTER WORE TENNIS SHOES. But like students in a 8:30AM lecture, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are having a little trouble focusing on this movie's particular brand of hijinks, and wind up going on some detours into Game of Thrones, Canadian women's magazine Chatelaine, the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, and Austin Powers to name just a few. 

Vicky, Nolan and Jill are on their annual pilgrimage to Bob's Lake, and since they've already done all the movies in the Szalinski franchise what could be more appropriate than talking about a real-life genius? In this special mini-episode, Vicky gives a crash course on Ub Iwerks; who not only shaped the legacy of Disney, but the entire film industry. 

The past weeks and months have been a wild ride here on We Want The D, thanks to The Summer of Love Bug. From the top of the Golden Gate Bridge to the bottom of the ocean, we've followed the adventures of the little car with a big heart with fascination, disbelief, horror and delight with equal measure. But now it's time to say goodbye, and there's likely no better way to spend our final hours with Herbie than by being wholly distracted by the fact that HERBIE: FULLY LOADED was also the final Disney film for Lindsay Lohan as well. It's almost a shame that the title character and franchise star plays second fiddle in their final film, but that's what happens you have Lohan, Michael Keaton, Matt Dillon, Justin Long all vying for screen time. It may not be the ending we hoped for, but it's the one we got. So we say to you - Adieu, Herbie. Adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

In retrospect, the missing possessive apostrophe 's' in MOTHER GOOSE ROCK 'N' RHYME should have been a sort of clue or portent for what was to come. Because this week's movie is missing a whole lot. A beloved childhood favourite of Vicky's, this Disney Channel world premiere is cause for great befuddlement for our other two hosts. Why does it look like it was filmed with a potato? Why are all the women in this children's program dressed in costumes from some sort of bizarre fetish video? How could one person have dirt on so many huge stars, thereby forcing them to appear in this production? Why does a movie that proudly proclaims it rocks and rhymes have such a dearth of songs? There are no answers to be found here. All those questions are lost in rhyme...like tears in rain. 

Unfortunately, the penultimate episode of the Summer of Love Bug doesn't set us up to go out with a bang as one might have hoped. And we suppose that's to be expected - after all, we're in Disney television movie territory here. But there was always the hope that Bruce Campbell and Herbie would be a winning combination - but all for naught. Sure, Bruce's handsome face is here, but he's given little to no opportunities to show off his charisma - and neither is Herbie for that matter. The 1990's TV movie version of THE LOVE BUG is a drab and depressing affair; featuring a bonkers cast that absolutely fails to deliver, a Herbie that is a mere shadow of his lively and somewhat-homicidal past self, and that rat bastard Jim Douglas showing up acting like he never abandoned Herbie twice in the past. We've rounded the last corner and are in the final stretch, D-Lovers, let's hope the final entry can end things on a relative high.

Bear with us, D-Lovers, as we tell the tale of ROB ROY, THE HIGHLAND ROGUE. Rob Roy MacGregor is a proud Scotsman whose refusal to bow to the new King of England (who is German) puts him into conflict with the Secretary of State (who is Scottish), kicking off a guerrilla-like campaign; against the wishes of Ma MacGregor (who is a Campbell) and his new bride (who is Glynis Johns). It's actually a rather simple, if somewhat anti-climactic story; but Disney knew how to make a period history movie back in the 1950s, so there's lots of period accurate costumes and on-location shooting for our hosts to swoon over - and that's not even mentioning Richard Todd's bare chest. 

Forging ahead on the Summer of Love Bug, we're wrapping up the core four original movies with HERBIE GOES BANANAS. Though at this point we have to wonder if Disney ever really understood what the appeal of this franchise was. While our hosts loved the earlier installments for their willingness to commit to the concept of a little car with a big heart, their over-the-top characters, and out-sized but still believable hi-jinks; this latest movie does pretty much the opposite of all of those. The hi-jinks are so over-the-top they jump right over incredulity. They've doubled down on the number of characters but made each of them a fraction as interesting, to the extent that not even comedy legends Harvey Korman or Cloris Leachman can save the movie. And Herbie doesn't even go by Herbie for 99% of the film's run time! So as Vicky, Nolan and Jill soldier on in this series, we can only hope the latter two, standalone entries in the franchise hold more promise.

Disney has been going through something of a new renaissance in the past decade or so, in terms of their animated movies. Most of the films they've released in this era have gone on to achieve some combination of box office success, critical praise, or audience approval. WRECK-IT RALPH feels like a clear attempt to do so by taking its cues from other beloved movies that combined existing IPs with new properties a la 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' and telling an emotionally resonant story a la Pixar. Do they succeed? Well, Vicky, Nolan and Jill have some strong reactions to this movie, that's for certain. From some obvious soundtrack choices to some relatable clumsiness, there's something for each of our hosts to latch on to on this week's episode of We Want The D.

The Summer of Love Bug continues on We Want The D, and we've hit our inevitable first speed bump in the franchise with Disney's HERBIE GOES TO MONTE CARLO. After establishing the little car with a big personality as a multi-faceted entity who perhaps feels the highs and lows of life a little too extremely, the third installment in the franchise takes a step back by putting Herbie back on the race track. The only interesting thing Herbie gets to do in this movie is fall in love...the rest comes down to some familiar faces from the franchise and from other Disney movies our hosts have watched from this era - both welcome and, well, Don Knotts. The racing sequences are longer, the villains are less broad and funny, and Herbie's been mellowed out. It's all a bit disappointing, save for one truly incredible French inspector with a dynamite moustache. 

This week on We Want The D, it's Nolan's turn to go off the deep end of comparing a movie adaptation to it's original source. Luckily for everyone, Disney's adaption of HOLES is not only faithful, but handily done as well. Lots of that has to do with the very game cast, from Eartha Kitt to Patricia Arquette to a fresh-faced, controversy free Shia Labeouf and plenty of other stand-outs in both the adult and child characters across the three timelines (have we mentioned this movie has a lot going on?). And while there's things to quibble over in the direction or soundtrack choices, overall this movie is a delight to watch, talk about, and needlessly compare it to the book on which it is based. 

The Summer of Love Bug charges ahead with the second installment, HERBIE RIDES AGAIN. Everyone's favourite sentient little car is back, along with the firehouse set and...well, that's about it. Disney shook things up by bringing in a whole new cast of characters, but boy did it pay off. For as much as Vicky, Nolan and Jill were charmed by Herbie's first outing, this one amps just about everything up. The villain is more villainous, the female lead is more full of sassy, no-nonsense pep (there are actually two female leads in this movie! Imagine that for a Disney film o this era), and Herbie is more homicidal than ever. Sure, there's some trade-offs; we replace Cool Guy Dean Jones with Soft Man Ken Berry, and our beloved Tennessee is back in Tibet so we make do with his dear old Auntie - but you won't really hear our hosts complaining as we continue on this ride with Herbie with reckless abandon.

In 1992, Disney whisked fans off on a magic carpet-esque  roller coaster ride of adventure, romance and comedy. Two years later, they took those same fans off on a bumpy camel ride through a largely barren landscape, save for some badly drawn cacti, in THE RETURN OF JAFAR. As the first direct-to-video sequel produced by the house of mouse, audiences were not yet savvy to the budget animation, replacement voice acting, and over lazy efforts that defined the Michael Eisner mandated practice, but all the evidence was there from the start. We're not sure how audiences reacted to a movie largely centered around villainous sidekick Iago (including giving him not one, but two songs), replacing Robin Williams with Homer Simpson, and otherwise phoning it in - but we know they bought into it in droves. Which means there's more than a few of these home video sequels on our horizon. Lucky us. 

We're gassing up and hitting the road this summer on We Want The D, as for the next few months Vicky, Nolan and Jill will make their way through another Disney franchise in its entirety over the coming months. With four original features, one TV movie and one reboot starring LiLo ahead of us, it should be a wild ride. Kicking things off is the original THE LOVE BUG - and it's a promising start. Because Herbie is not only a sentient car, he's a car with feelings deeper than most of the supporting (and some lead) casts of other movies we've had to watch. Add in a gear-headed, cool shades-wearing Dean Jones, his best friend conceptual artist Buddy Hackett, and an actual three dimensional female lead, squaring off against a truly malevolent Mr. Banks and you've got a recipe for classic Disney family entertainment we can only hope will continue throughout this franchise. So put the petal to the metal with our hosts as we speed off into the Summer of Love Bug!