We Want The D

Welcome, D Lovers, to the extra special, extra beefy 100th episode of We Want The D! It's definitely cause for celebration, but we're not here to celebrate ourselves (well, maybe a little); we're using this excuse to celebrate what many consider to be the pinnacle of Disney animated film-making - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. A beloved classic for many, including Vicky, Nolan and Jill, our hosts have nothing but love for the brilliant songs, top-tier voice acting, and wet, loose hair that all feature prominently (some might say equally) in this movie. Even the somewhat dulled visuals, only apparent thanks to the advancement of Diamond Edition Blu-rays, can't dull our love for this film. It's a regular ol' love-fest and gush-fest, not just for this movie, but for you - our loyal listeners - whether you've been with us from the start or are just tuning in this week. Thanks for listening, and hope you'll stay with us for the next hundred episodes and beyond!

After watching 100+ Disney movies over the past two and some odd years, you'd think that Vicky, Nolan and Jill would be less surprised at the sheer audacity and ridiculousness of some of these movies. But it seems that the House of Mouse always finds some way to raise the bar. Take MAN OF THE HOUSE, for example. In theory, it makes sense to pair up comedy legend Chevy Chase, 90s child star extraordinaire Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and television icon Farrah Fawcett for a comedy about a blended family. In practice you get a phoned-in performance from Chevy, including a near-frigid amount of chemistry with Fawcett, and JTT giving a performance that redefines the Oedipal complex. Oh, and just a shocking amount of racism toward and appropriation of First Nations. Like, truly shocking. Like, animated Peter Pan and then some levels. It's real bad. But in a way, it's just part for the course for us at We Want The D.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill have watched a fair share of head-scratchers in their journey through the Disney canon. It's gotten to the point where, when watching a film from a certain era, our hosts of come to expect a few things. So when we popped on THE MOON-SPINNERS from 1964, there were certain expectations in place. There'd probably be some supernatural element, an extended gambling sequence, some slapstick hijinks, maybe some animal cruelty. What we got was a dark mystery that, at times, felt way more Hitchcock than Disney. Stolen treasure, subterfuge, daring windmill escapes, angry cats (big and small), fist fights on boats, drunken lunches - and at the centre of it all, our beloved Hayley Mills, wearing just the cutest pink and blue outfits. The only way our expectations were met was there were definitely some thrown cats and one likely drugged cheetah. It threw us all for loop, but we'll try to make sense of it for you as we always do on We Want The D.

We'll be honest, D-Lovers. Things get a little sidetracked during this week's episode. There's tangents and off-topic chatter abound. But you can't really blame our hosts, because at the end of the day how much is there to say about a movie, based on a true story, about a man who dreams of pitching in the major leagues if only he wasn't past his prime...only to discover that he's not at all and is in fact able to consistently throw very fast pitches so he ends up pitching in the major leagues. It's a schmaltzy tale, maybe even an interesting anecdote; but don't be surprised when we diverge into other topics like watching people puke in parking lots the day after St. Paddy's, the relative ages of Dennis Quaid and Brian Cox, and the rise and fall of Two and Half Men's Angus T. Jones.

One of the more bizarre things Disney is beloved for is making people really really upset. People fondly remember the childhood trauma they suffered when Bambi's mother is shot, the fear the felt when the Evil Queen transformed into the Old Hag, and the sorrow when Mufasa is trampled by wildebeests. This week on We Want The D; Vicky, Nolan and Jill are talking about OLD YELLER, a movie that has been traumatizing its audiences for years, and not just because the movie ends with a beloved, loyal pet and companion being shot in the face while growling like a hellbeast. No, in modern times Old Yeller is perhaps even more traumatizing thanks to that classic Disney tendency for cruelty to animals. From a dog vs hog fight that our hosts can't figure out how they'd fake to the most distressing noises you'll ever hear a bovine make, this movie is not one for the animal lovers. Add in the distressing behind-the-scenes story of Tommy Kirk's rise and fall (and happily rise again) at Disney and it's a wonder our hosts' us

Disney's The Great Mouse Detective is something of an anomaly in the scope of movies we typically watch on We Want The D. On the one hand, it's made up almost entirely of conventional tropes - either from the animated Disney canon, the tales of Sherlock Holmes, or from the vast catalog of animated films about mice and other rodents. On the other hand, considering it came out in the 1980s, its also a breath of fresh air when compared to its other contemporaries from the House of Mouse. The animation is good (for the 80s), the story isn't too dark (for the 80s), the voice acting is above average (for the 80s) thanks in no small part to Vincent Price. The end result is a movie that is largely enjoyable, but still has a fair share of baffling choices and moments for our hosts to pick over.  

This week on We Want The D, our hosts make sure to follow their ABCs - Alway's Be Caging. Because you never know what you're going to get when you watch Nicholas Cage in a movie. Case and point: Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Very (very) loosely based on the Fantasia segment, proposed and championed by Cage himself, you'd think the result would be an intense Nicholas Cage running around in some outrageous costume, screaming spells in people's faces and giving one of his classic over-the-top performances. But you gotta remember to ALWAYS BE CAGING because in this week's movie, Cage opted for a more mellow, understated performance. Why, as the lead actor, should he take any of the spotlight? Nor should main antagonist Alfred Molina for that matter. Really, this movie should be all about Jay Baruchel, playing the awkward geek who happily finds out he has magic powers that will allow him to stalk his childhood crush save the world from a possessed Monica Bellucci who spends most of the film trapped in a Russ

Two years into our adventure into the Disney catalog, your hosts have come to expect certain things from films from certain eras. The 60s and 70s are typically filled with animals with weird abilities, straight-laced middle-aged men finding love, and often involve some sort of extended gambling sequence. Every so often, however, we get a movie about a plucky young heroine who just needs to be loved by a family unit. Much to our relief (or in Vicky's case, shrugging acceptance), CANDLESHOE falls into that latter category, as we follow a young Jodie Foster on the world's most routine pirate treasure hunt in strangely named English estate. And sure, there may be some unfortunate human-trafficking undertones, and it may lean a little too heavily on the masterful talents of disguise from David Niven to entertain and delight the audience, but we'll take that over alien cats or invisible car chases any day.

Join us for another mini episode of We Want The D, where our hosts peel back the layers of one of the most dramatic stories in Disney history. This is the story of a iconic company being pulled from the brink of disaster, a story of friendship (or at least partnership) and betrayal, a story of broken promises and crashed helicopters...and yeah it's a story centering around four rich white dudes, but it's still really interesting! Get ready for a wild ride that Mr. Toad could only dream of as Vicky relays the story of Michael Eisner and Jeffrey Katzenberg.

This is it, D Lovers, the moment you've all been waiting for. Vicky, Nolan and Jill are diving into the strange, twisted world of Disney Channel Original Movies. The tastes our hosts have had of this area of the Disney catalog in the past did nothing to prepare them for the large-scale insanity of the Disney Channel's latest smash, DESCENDANTS. Focusing on the offspring of the Disney's canons most beloved characters, this made-for-tv movie isn't so much a celebration of some of the best and brightest characters as it is a low-rent, fan-fiction level extravaganza. Rife with challenging portrayals of diverse characters, truly bad songs and substandard dance numbers, this movie still somehow managed to capture our imagination attention the way these types of movies often do. It's a new era of We Want The D, the Disney Channel is being let off of trash island and our heroic world is not prepared.

Did you know that the largest mountain in our solar system is called Olympus Mons, is three times the height of Mount Everest, and is located on Mars? Did you know that Mars is the second smallest planet in our solar system, and a year is 687 days but a day is only 40 minutes longer than one on Earth? These are all facts about the fourth planet from the sun that don't really have anything to do with this week's movie, but are definitely 100% more interesting than anything that happens during Disney's JOHN CARTER. Infamous for the longest development cycle in film history before finally getting made only to also become infamous for being one of Disney's biggest financial and critical flops in recent years; this movie is a strange exercise in hubris as Taylor Kitsch tries to be a movie star, Andrew Stanton tries to be a live action film director, and our hosts desperately try to piece together what this convoluted mess of a movie is about. 

It's time once again for our hosts to pay tribute at the Altar of Menken, First of His Name, Composer of the Jams and the Ballads, Masterful Creator of the Timeless Classics. This time, we're praising His Works in the Disney mixed live action and animation film ENCHANTED, for when you want to goof on your own successful stable of Princess characters and stories, who better to sign up than the man responsible for the music of so many movies that feature them? Menken aside, Enchanted did entice our hosts with its charming lead in Amy Adams, it's nefarious villains in Timothy Spall and Susan Sarandon, and it's perfectly adequate if somewhat puzzling uses of Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsy and the WICKEDly talented Adele Nazim. It may not be the riskiest attempt to subvert Princess Story tropes, but it's still plenty of fun to watch and enjoy.

As we reach the end of this bizarre-o political spiral culminating in the inauguration of an orange Russian sock-puppet as President of the United States; Vicky, Nolan and Jill thought they would take a more light-hearted look at life in the White House by watching Disney's FIRST KID. YUGE MISTAKE. Not only was watching this 90s Sinbad vehicle akin to some type of torture for two your hosts, one of them actually LIKED this...this inexplicable non-movie about nothing. It's another contentious battle of opinion on We Want The D, and while our hosts would love to hear where your thoughts lie on this one, we can't in good conscious endorse watching this movie...well, at least a two-thirds majority can't.

Ahoy mateys and welcome to another chapter o' We Want The D. Gather ye 'round as we spin the yarn o' Disney's BLACKBEARD'S GHOST, a tale fraught with adventure and villainy. Tis a story of a milksop of a man taken under the wing o' the mightiest pirate, who's savagery is only matched by his affection for rum. Be amazed as the fearsome Blackbeard does all manner o' pirate activity, like placing bets and sabotaging gambling implements! Or using his mighty ghost strength to toss young crew members around during their competition o' speed and agility. What do ye mean, that don't sound pirate-like at all? We'll have none of that talk, lest we have your guts for garters!

It's a new year and you know what that means, D Lovers. That's right, it's the World Junior Ice Hockey Championships, which happens every year around this time - a fact that certainly did not require a trip to Wikipedia to confirm while writing this episode description, no sir. And it certainly wasn't prompted by any sort of need to justify our choice to tackle one of the great (in memory if not reality) Disney sports movies - THE MIGHTY DUCKS. As Canadian a movie can possibly be while still taking place in Minnesota, it's all your favourite actors from Heavy Weights and a future resident of a certain creek being coached by EMILIOOOOOOO in a classic underdog tale. It's the poorly equipped kids led by a man with a shocking number of moving violations versus an elite squad of pretty shitty children led by a victory-obsessed senior who has been coaching the same peewee team for what must be two decades. A match-up equal to the Canadians vs the Soviets if there ever was one! 

As the song goes, Christmas is "the most wonderful time of the year." In spite of the cold, the slush and the sun setting around mid-afternoon the days still feel warm and bright - at least for those who have Christmas spirit. And those who don't...woe betide you; as Mary Steenburgen learns in a movie that proves once again Disney had no idea what the hell they were doing in the 1980s. Because in One Magic Christmas, the way to get a woman struggling to keep herself and her family afloat in tough times to start feeling Christmas cheer (aka blow their meager savings on presents) is to send a grim Christmas Angel of Death to literally kill her family. This week on We Want The D, Vicky is rendered virtually speechless, Nolan becomes so enraged he can't stop yelling, and Jill delights in the fact that she's added two more people to the list of those that have been tortured by a film she inexplicably watched multiple times throughout her childhood. Merry Christmas, D Lovers!

With only a few weeks left in this godforsaken year, Vicky, Nolan and Jill take a look back at all that Disney had to offer in 2016. On top of Scrooge McDuck levels of money earned at the box office, our favourite film company had a good year with a healthy mix of originals, re-imaginings, and third party movies - and only a few flops! They also had television shows end, start, and chug along into triple digits episodes numbers. Join We Want The D for a special look back at the year that was, and a glance forward to what the next year has in store for us. 

On this week's very special episode of We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are taking a deep dive into the man without whom this podcast wouldn't be possible - Walter Elias Disney; better known his friends (and enemies and underpaid workers) as 'Walt.' If we learned anything from our discussion, it's that Walt was a complicated figure. Sure, he may have creating Mickey Mouse (kinda), but he also thought Song of the South was a good idea. He may have changed the world of film and animation, but he also named names in front of HUAC while wearing a silly tie. He thought up Disneyland, but only after falling down a bizarre rabbit hole of toy train obsession. We hope you enjoy this departure from our regular format as we celebrate and scrutinize the life and works of the man who built the empire that this podcast gluttonously gorges itself with each week.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill emerged from their podcast cave this week to watch the latest Disney offering in theatres. With the generally steadfast team of Musker and Clements (Treasure Planet aside) handling directing and current musical darling Lin-Manuel Miranda making his Disney debut as a composer, the hype was high for Disney's return to an animated South Pacific among our hosts. Listen to our spoiler-free first half of the episode to hear our thoughts, and keep listening for a more spoiler-laden discussion of MOANA's swole characters, stupid sidekicks, and sailing songs.

Walt Disney created a wonderful world of animated creations early on in the company's history, and none more beloved than the classic trio of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy...Goof? The trio don't feature heavily in Disney's theatrical canon, but in 1995 the success of the Goof Troop television show led to A GOOFY MOVIE; a kind of musical kind of about a father-son relationship that is kind of based on the characters of that show. Goofy is still Goofy, his son Max still raises difficult questions about Goofy's "romantic" past, Pete still treats his son PJ as an indentured servant, and the rest of the citizens of...Dogberg(?) are still kind of a weird mixture of grotesque or overly sexualized. It's a movie that may be a lot weirder than some of our hosts remember, but hey at least the Tevin Campbell/Powerline songs are still great.