We Want The D

We Want The D is back with another mini-episode this week, and this time we're talking about some of the most popular (and in some cases most nonsensical) fan theories about beloved Disney movies old and new. Not only that, but as a special treat Vicky, Nolan and Jill also dive into the world of Pixar movies for the first (and probably last) time. Are separate characters from different movies actually related? Do all of Pixar's movies take place on the same timeline? Is a family film really an allegory for a real-life genocide? The answer is all of these questions, and probably more, is no. But that doesn't mean they aren't fun to talk about! 

We here at We Want The D can't sit around and pretend that this podcast isn't built on a firm foundation of nostalgia and rose-coloured glasses. Vicky, Nolan and Jill are more than happy to revisit old favourites in the Disney canon only to find they don't quite measure up. But that means its very exciting when these movies hold up, as is the case with DuckTales, the animated series that but Disney on the television map and spawned several spin-offs and one theatrical film about genies and lamp-crazy sorcerers a few years before that other famous Disney movie about genies and lamp-crazy sorcerers. DUCKTALES THE MOVIE: TREASURE OF THE LOST LAMP is all the fun of an episode of DuckTales delivered over the length of a film, with Scrooge's miserly love of all things cash and gold; Huey, Dewey, Louie and Webby's mischief and marbles; and Launchpad McQuack's near insanity and recklessness (and sexiness, if you're like Vicky). Add in very special guests Christopher Lloyd and Rip Taylor and it's a recipe for fun here

Like Shere Khan stalking a man-cub, it feels like this week's movie has been stalking Vicky, Nolan and Jill from the shadows from some time now. It's as if we could sense the radical hairline of Nick Cage lurking around the corner, drawing ever closer until we could resist no longer and watched Disney's NATIONAL TREASURE. As one might expect from a Nick Cage blockbuster during the golden years of his career, there's a lot to unpack and discuss. Too bad our hosts would much rather get bogged down in the details of colonial public works projects, the correct way to count down from five, and the finer points of urban outfitters dressing rooms. So thank you, dear listeners, for indulging us once again in this week's We Want The D - you are all our national treasures. 

Superhero fatigue is real, D Lovers. Comic book movies have reach peak saturation in recent years, so you can't throw a rock without hitting a poster for a masked and/or caped crusader's latest adventure. Vicky, Nolan and Jill can tell you one thing, though - we'd probably take 1,000 more modern superhero movies if it means never have to watch Disney's CONDORMAN ever again. Is it a spoof? Is it a comedy? Who cares, it's awful. The special effects are abysmal, even for the early 1980s, with wires in plain site. The acting is atrocious, shy of a homicidally method performance from Oliver Reed. The story and script is garbage, with little-to-no rhyme or reason for any of the action in site. We haven't had one this bad that's had our hosts united this much in a long time, so enjoy this good old fashioned hate fest on this week's We Want The D. 

As summer approaches for the We Want The D team, our thoughts turn to escaping our run-of-the-mill, everyday lives and forging a new path - perhaps stumbling upon a tropical paradise. A place where no one can tell us what to do, where Napoleon won't come bursting down our door at a moment's notice. A place where we could build a state-of-the-art treehouse with only the barest of tools and materials. A place where the predators are easily trapped and the other wildlife is easily tamed. A place where the only danger is incompetent pirates and the occasional pregnant anaconda. You can't blame us for feeling this way, considering how easy the characters in this week's Disney film had it. Being marooned after a storm never looked so good, fratricide has never looked so likely, and animal abuse has never been so rampant as it is in the family classic SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON.

'Great' and 'powerful' are not the word we here at We Want The D would use to describe the titular character in this week's movie. 'Swindler' and 'liar,' maybe. 'Selfish,' and 'jerk,' more likely. 'James' and 'Franco,' absolutely. It's very frustrating when dealing with a movie that stars a character so irredeemably awful, a guy who we would say is a magician's outfit shy of being one of those weird pick-up artists; except that he actually is a magician. It's especially grating when the potential for an actual good movie is somewhere buried in all the muck. If only they had spent more time developing and focusing on Mila Kunis' mentally fragile Wicked Witch; if only they didn't spend so much time trying to show off 3D film making that would be irrelevant the second the movie left theatres; if only they cast an actor who could inject some much-needed charm into the lead role. There's quite a bit of wishful thinking but mostly just a lot of irritation directed at Disney's OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL. 

Loyal D Lovers know that sometimes things can get a little risqué here on We Want The D. This week, we swear it isn't our fault. Because you can Disney-fy Alexandre Dumas' swashbuckling story of intrigue, romance, and betrayal all you want, there'll still be way more sexy than your typical Disney movie. But boy did they ever try to sap as much of it out as they could. Why else would they cast Oliver Platt as one of the musketeers, even at his most svelt? Why else pair Rebecca De Mornay is the world's tightest corset with the lean, grade eleven gym class body of Chris O'Donnell? Why, oh god why, make Tim Curry give the most creepy and lecherous performance ever as Cardinal Richelieu? He creeps on a young woman in a bath! Add in totally wooden performances from Charlie Sheen and Kiefer Sutherland on the wane from their 80s hayday, and you have to wonder what was going on at Disney when they decided to adapt THE THREE MUSKETEERS. 

Welcome once again, D Lovers, to the wild and untamed frontier of 1960s and 1970s Disney Live Action film making. You may recognize the bizarre aimlessness of the stories Disney told in this era from past episodes, but none that featured a cast quite as stacked as this one. We've got Dr. Bruce Banner before Disney bought Marvel. We've got MASH's Harry Morgan, noted character actor Slim Pickens, and Sarnia's own Susan Clark. Most of all, THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG features the first appearance of comedy duo Don Knotts and Tim Conway...a pair that was apparently a thing for awhile? Vicky, Nolan and Jill aren't totally dismayed by Disney's attempt at a western here, but mostly because it gave us an excuse to talk about HBO's Deadwood. So grab yourselves some apple dumplings of your own, and try to keep them down as Vicky describes Don Knotts' fish lips, and enjoy another episode of We Want The D!

Despite being a relatively young form of art and entertainment, movies still have changed quite a bit over the years, and Disney films are no exception. The classics of yesterday may have a little struggle standing up on their spindly little deer legs in comparison to more modern efforts. This week on We Want The D, we're looking at a perfect example of this with BAMBI. It may share some common story traits with another, more recent, Disney classic about a young animal prince who learns harsh lessons about growing up in the wilderness of their own kingdom, but not much beyond that loose description is even comparable. Bambi is one of those movies where it's probably more interesting to talk about how it was made; with incredible animation led by an immigrant art director, or Walt himself being compared to the villainous man who stalks the cuddly forest creatures; than it is to talk about the story which contains maybe a dozen beats, many of which just involve changes in the weather. Vicky, Nolan and Jill may

We're diving back into the wonderful world movies based on Disney Channel original series on We Want The D this week, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill couldn't be more excited. While none of us may have been big Duff-fiends in the height of her Disney career, the Lizzie McGuire star was certainly pervasive enough that we had an idea of what we were in store for, and THE LIZZIE McGUIRE MOVIE did not disappoint. Beautiful girl supposedly a social outcast because she is clumsy? Check. Eighteen year old who looks like a preteen next to actual preteens? Check. Nonsensical and unexplained plot about doppelgängers that nobody blinks twice at? Check. Terribly written and produced pop song? Check. Bad, like really bad, accents? Check, check, check. This movie hit all the right benchmarks that make it so wrong on so many levels, and it made it a blast to watch and talk about. 

It's another double header this week on We Want The D. In this episode; Vicky, Nolan and Jill are braving the wilds of Canada and California to follow the journey of two groups of pets. In 1963, two dogs and a cat made their way from a remote cabin back to their home, encountering the very real dangers of being animal actors on a film set before there were any regulations in place to prevent them from being put in conflict with actual bears, bobcats, and porcupines; or being tossed willy-nilly into actual rapids. In 1993, two dogs and a cat voiced by the likes of Michael J. Fox and Sally Fields journeyed from a ranch to their sprawling estate, but had to deal with a lot more interpersonal conflict between each other since they could actually talk and have personalities beyond what a narrator could relay to the audience. There's some conflicting opinions between which of these two Disney movies inspired by the same source material did a better job at, well, being a movie among our hosts this week. So enjoy the

Vicky, Nolan and Jill are willing to go above and beyond for our loyal listeners, and this week's episode of We Want The D should prove that beyond a doubt. Why else would they venture forth from the recording studio/living room and spend their hard-earned money on actually going to a movie theatre and watching Disney's latest offering, ZOOTOPIA? It's all for you, D Lovers, and don't let the hosts' shared critical consensus fool you, this was still a lot of hard work! Warning: this one is so fresh, those of you who wish to avoid spoilers may only want to tune in for the first half of this week's episode.  

There's an old saying that you shouldn't mess with the classics. In one of the strangest twists Vicky, Nolan and Jill have come across in the Disney movies we've watched so far, Treasure Planet doesn't mess with a classic enough. The idea essentially starts and stops with "it's Treasure Island in space!" So instead of the ocean Jim Hawkins and John Silver are sailing among the stars, but they're still doing it in a colonial-era ship, wearing colonial-era clothing, and in search of treasure that is largely comprised of gold coins in colonial-era treasure chests. Considering this is an idea steadfastly pitched repeatedly over the years by two of the most creative directors to work in Disney animation, it's shockingly ill-conceived. It's disappointing, to say the least, but given this film is also one of Disney's biggest box office disasters, we can at least rest easy knowing we're not the only ones disappointed in it. 

Prepare yourselves, D Lovers, for an epic audio adventure your ears will hardly believe. Your dedicated and humble hosts will regale you with the tale of Iron Will, brought to you by the Walt Disney Company of Moving Pictures! Be astounded as brave men ride on the backs of sleds from Winnipeg to Saint Paul, braving the elements as their dedicated dog teams do most of the hard work! Be awed as grown men smoke cigars, stroke their beards, and make wagers as to the survival of a teenage entrant to the most dangerous competition! Tremble in fear at the maniacal laughter of Borg, the unhinged competitor with a blade sharp enough to remove the most stubborn of frost-bitten extremities! We swear to you, D Lovers, every word of this story is true and grounded in reality - or at least to words "iron," and "dog sled race." All that and more in this week's installment of We Want The D! 

What happens when you mix together a cartoon dragon; a ginger child actor who can't sing; a seemingly endless soundtrack of largely mediocre songs; a stable of legendary performers including Mickey Rooney, Jim Dale, Helen Reddy, and more; and a plot brimming with family friendly subjects like slavery, child abuse, post-traumatic stress, and severe alcoholism? If you're Vicky, that adds up to a delightful childhood classic filled with charm and nostalgia. If you're Nolan or Jill, it adds up to one of the worst Disney movies we've had to sit through yet. It's another episode of a house divided on We Want The D, as our hosts grill each other to fully understand our differing opinions, as well as try to figure out how it's possible that Disney is adding Pete's Dragon to its list of live action remakes this year, when it seems like they've tried their hardest to ignore the original's existence. 

On this week's episode of We Want The D, we're watching a movie all about the love between a singing harpoonist and a meek professor's assistant. Wait, no, that's not right. It's about the love between a professor and a megalomaniacal submarine captain. No, that doesn't seem right either. Is it a story about the love between a harpoonist a seal named Esmerelda? Or is it about the love between a squid and a submarine? You know what, D Lovers, it's probably none of those things. But what we can tell you is that this podcast episode is all about the love between Vicky, Nolan and Jill and Disney's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. We love it's striking and iconic production design, it's complex characters, and it's one song - and everything in between. In terms of Disney films that largely take place under the ocean, this one stands up with the best of them, even if they maybe possibly probably harmed some rare and exotic aquatic sea life in the process.  

Don't get it twisted, D Lovers. The above subtitle and multiple in-episode endorsements to watch the brilliant television series Friday Night Lights shouldn't be taken as a recommendation to watch the show instead of Disney's Remember the Titans. It's just hard to talk about any piece of football-related entertainment without whole-heartedly recommending the adventures of Coach Taylor and the town of Dillon. But don't worry, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are able to keep mostly on-topic and have a blast praising the emotionally manipulative excellence of this film, from the hit-packed soundtrack to the star-studded cast. This movie hits all the right notes at the exact right times, and sure, we know it's a little hokey and cheesy, but we don't mind when we're watching Denzel tearing into high school students like a Marine Drill Sergeant, or the budding friendship between Avon Barksdale from The Wire and Opie from Sons of Anarchy, or Ryan Gosling dancing to The Beatles' "Act Naturally." This is We Want The D's first v

Welcome, D Lovers, to the World of Tomorrow! By which we mean, welcome to Disney's Tomorrowland, a film of multiple visual delights and even more head-scratching plot points. From the brilliant vision of acclaimed animation director Brad Bird and the often-criticized writer Damon Lindelof, this film is a hodgepodge of set pieces featuring an obnoxiously overly-intelligent teenager, killer robots who enter and exit the film with little fanfare, and terse romantic undertones between George Clooney and a twelve year old girl (don't worry, she's a robot as well). Sprinkle all that with a helping of Tim McGraw and plenty of unresolved questions, and you end up with...probably not the blockbuster original film the House of Mouse was hoping for. It's easy to say this movie didn't live up to anyone's expectations for it, but Vicky, Nolan and Jill sure had a ball talking about it. So as We Want The D strides confidently into their own world of tomorrow and second year, join us as we discuss one of Disney's most recent

Dearest D Lovers. Vicky, Nolan and Jill would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued support of We Want The D. Because of wonderful people with ears like yours, we are now celebrating 50 episodes of Disney canonical investigations, fabulous journeys deep in to the vault, and dark, disturbing, sexual theories about beloved childhood memories. And because you have all been such lovely boys and girls and Kevin the Temps, we let you vote for what we should watch on this monumental occasion in We Want The D history and you did not let us down. So grab your magic carpet, and try not to think about how much you miss Robin Williams, as we venture to the mystical city of Agrabah with the 1992 phenomenal classic, Aladdin.

It has occurred to the We Want The D team that perhaps we neglected to give Hayley Mills her due back when talking about The Parent Trap all those episodes ago. Watching this ingenue perform in her debut Disney role as the titular Pollyanna was something of an awakening for Vicky, Nolan and Jill. Pollyanna doesn't just fall firmly into the plucky, optimistic camp of the Disney Orphan, she damn near defines it. But the true feat is handling such a sweet, saccharine role, and making the audience fall in love with her just as hard as the rest of the town of Harrington, and Mills handles it no problem. And sure, maybe it's easy to fall in love with Pollyanna when the rest of the cast is made up of beautiful-but-frigid spinsters, hellfire spouting priests, sour-faced maids, prism-loving bachelors, and calves-foot jelly. But for those of you have yet to watch this film, we dare you to take this journey with us and NOT fall in love with the plucky Anne of Green Gables--oops, we mean Pollyanna.