We Want The D

Those of you who have been with We Want The D for some time now know that we have watched a lot of strange movies. Some of them with leprechauns, some of them with Tim Allen. But none of them even come close to Disney's The Barefoot Executive. It is a pinnacle of Disney at their most bizarre, and most arrogant. What else could explain making a movie that essentially says the mainstream American audience has the same taste as a chimpanzee? How else can you justify the extended slapstick sequence of a television network executive and his driver capering on the outside of a building for what feels like a third of the film's run time? Simple put, the House of Mouse knew they could slap Kurt Russell and an ape on a poster and watch the money roll in. As bananas as this movie is, though, Vicky, Nolan and Jill can't help but be kind of into it, as any film that captures many of the frustrations of working in the television industry so accurately will always earn a special place in our hearts.

Y'know D Lovers, sometimes you make an animated film about a woman and a beast finding the best in each other and falling in love and you get nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Other times you make a motion-capture film about an annoying kid who follows his stolen mother to Mars where she's going to be vaporized by an alien species because they need to steal her memories to plant them into the robots they use to raise their female children who hatch from the ground every 25 years (they just throw the males in the garbage) because that's just how Martian society works??? - and you end up losing A LOT of money. Vicky, Nolan and Jill know that Disney isn't perfect, but we'd like to believe the movie studio responsible for so many strongly written and animated classics could have seen all the missteps in story (or lack thereof) and lifeless animation while this particular film was being made not too long ago. But nobody is perfect, and that's what brings us together today to talks MARS NEEDS MOMS r

Up there! In the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a man with a rocket pack strapped to his back, and oh god his legs are on fire and he's being horribly burned! Welcome, D Lovers, to Disney's The Rocketeer, the 1991 comic book film starring every character actor you've ever loved. Vicky, Nolan and Jill all went into this movie blind, but all three of our hosts ended up deriving some level of enjoyment out of it. It's hard not to, what with the bland handsomeness of star Billy Campbell and a tear-stained Jennifer Connolly; a mustachioed Alan Arkin, and Timothy Dalton in what must be his most villainous role to date. There's even a surprise or two to be had, unless of course your boyfriend spoils the twist before you even sit down to watch the movie. Listen and enjoy, D Lovers, and then join us down at the old dog-shaped diner for a nice bowl of tomato soup. 

We Want The D is back after our week off, and ready to finish off 2015 with Disney's animated film that defines the all-American hero: Hercules. Sure, he may be based on a Greek myth, but that doesn't stop our beloved House of Mouse from turning him into an icon of athleticism and can-do spirit with his own brand of energy drink and sneakers, complete with backing gospel chorus. The question is - do Vicky, Nolan and Jill let a bit of anachronism and cultural co-option get in the way of having a good time with this brightly coloured mid-90s palate cleanser? Or maybe we can just distract ourselves with James Woods' stellar turn as Hades, or Susan Egan's heavily sexualized Meg. We hope all you D Lovers out there have a wonderful New Year, and rest assured we will Go The Distance just like Wonder Boy and his rippling pectorals to bring you more D in 2016!

It's another colon massacre in this week's We Want The D, but you'll have to excuse Vicky, Nolan and Jill if they aren't too preoccupied by a case of too many subtitles. We're too busy trying to come to terms with the fact that our Krumholtz Creep was brought to an abrupt halt by Spencer Breslin, of all people. Yes, Bernard is gone from The Santa Clause franchise, with no explanation, and so of course things are a mess at the North Pole. The infuriating thing is that it's a mess entirely of Santa's own making - because seriously, what kind of Santa decides to invite his estranged in-laws for a visit right before Christmas when he knows he has to keep his true identity a secret? And what kind of Santa looks at a mythical being obsessed with having his own holiday and invites him to stay at the North Pole largely unsupervised? A Santa with no Bernard, that's who. Witness, D Lovers, the re-teaming of Martin Short and Tim Allen, the return of Ann-Margaret to Disney, and Judge Reinhold in a truly epic reversible s

Vicky, Nolan and Jill are OBVIOUSLY still on that Krumholtz Creep, and the only way to celebrate this most sacred festival of lights and stars is to keep this train rolling along with Disney's THE SANTA CLAUSE 2. No subtitle necessary in this sequel, and we can guess why - it's because which of the three distinct plot lines that this movie sets up and (mostly fails to) resolve do you name it for? The Santa Clause 2: The Mrs. Clause? The Santa Clause 2: Father Christmas Is An Absent Father? Or The Santa Clause 2: The North Pole Dictatorship Coup? None of those quite fit the bill in describing what this movie is about, because it contains all three but doesn't really seem to be about any of them. But the We Want The D team can take solace in the fact that at least the jokes are still funny, and of course there's always Krumholtz giving it his all to see us through.

The Holiday season is upon us, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill are ringing them in the only way we know how - with Tim Allen and Judge Reinhold battling it out for the love of a child actor. On the surface, Disney's The Santa Clause may seem like inoffensive and light Christmas fare, but looked at from certain angles, it can just as easily play as an episode of Criminal Minds. There's kidnapping, involuntary manslaughter, reckless driving and endangerment, child labour violations, and arguably even a brain-eating parasitic fungus that takes over Tim Allen's mind. But even with those shadows hanging heavy over this film, they are kept at bay by one shining star that guides all three of the We Want The D hosts in all of their dark times - David Krumholtz.

One of our favourite things about Disney's animated films here at We Want The D is how they can run the gamut from sprawling, musical epics to intimate, slice-of-life stories; and be equally entertaining and beloved regardless. This week, Vicky, Nolan and Jill watched what, on paper, could be simply seen as a romantic comedy with dogs. But Lady and the Tramp is so much more than just that. It has a timeless quality to it; the beautiful and fluid animation makes it seem like it could have been released within the past ten years, not in 1955; on the flip side, songs like "Bella Notte" sound like they were written a hundred years ago and not specifically for this movie. Sure, there may be some unfortunate baggage when it comes to racist cats...and restaurant owners...and police officers...and chihuahuas. But the charm of this movie and its huge cast of interesting and funny characters more than makes up for it's few shortcomings in our eyes. So grab a big plate of spaghetti, or bones if you prefer, and enjoy a b

As you D Lovers surely have realized by now, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are not afraid to go the distance to deliver hard-hitting commentary on the brightest and strangest of Disney films. Spanning the furthest reaches of outer space to the tropical beaches of Hawaii, this week on We Want The D we pull no punches on LILO & STITCH. Emotionally resonant sibling story and wig-wearing, Kevin McDonald-voiced alien be damned; we still raise the tough questions about Lilo's severe emotional and behavioral issues, Jumba's unexplained Russian accent, heavily contrasting animated settings, and jut who Cobra Bubbles reports to. Each of your hosts faced a lot of inner turmoil about just how to feel about this movie, so enjoy this installment of your favourite podcast where we try to figure it out.

We've watched a lot of strange Disney movies here on We Want The D; everything from old dads to dancing leprechauns have defuddled Vicky, Nolan and Jill over past episodes. But this week's film may take the cake. The Three Lives of Thomasina stars a cult television actor and producer, Jane and Michael Banks from Mary Poppins along with a host of other towheaded children, and a blandly beautiful blonde - almost all of whom are (badly) attempting Scottish accents. Oh yeah, and a cat that vanishes for large chunks of time, even though the movie is named after AND about her. That may not sound so strange to you yet, Dear Listeners, but we haven't even gotten to the cat afterlife, gypsy circus, or number of instances of animals being "destroyed." But don't worry, no actual animals were killed in the making of this film...we think. Lots of them were drugged, though.

If there's one thing Vicky, Nolan and Jill would like our Dear Listeners to take away from this week's episode of We Want The D, it's that no matter how much we may hate the movies you request, we still love you. That said, our hosts don't really love anything about Disney's THE FOX AND THE HOUND. Never before has a film that features cute baby animals and a message about the power of friendship (or something more that friendship...) been so reviled for its poor animation, phoned-in voice acting and overall dullness. It's a good old-fashioned hate-fest this week, so we recommend a palette cleanser of pictures of cute animals once you're done listening - just none of the ones from this movie.

Halloween month has drawn to a close, and Vicky, Nolan and Jill would be lying if they said it was an easy ride so far. But we can rest easy knowing it was all building to this week's episode. Eddie Murphy and Ray Bradbury may have let us down, but if there's one thing we know, it's that Bette Midler would be the wind beneath our wings, and bring We Want The D soaring to new, wonderful, spooky heights. The critics may disagree, but we know Disney's HOCUS POCUS ranks among their best live action ventures. How could it not, with three witches fully committed to playing their time displacement to the fullest, 90s bullies with amazing fashion sense and killer high-five skills, Jason (not James) Marsden dubbing over another actor AND a cat, and the incomparable Doug Jones as a two-timing zombie boyfriend? Happy Halloween, D Lovers!

Halloween Month continues, and we gotta be honest, D Lovers - it's starting to feel like the House of Mouse is incapable of crafting a Halloween story that is entertaining, let alone scary. The Haunted Mansion may be based on a beloved theme park ride, and released the same year as another movie based on a ride that has spawned a billion dollar franchise, but it's a ghostly shadow of it's nautical cousin on all fronts. This is an antebellum ghost story of forbidden love (why is their love forbidden? We won't say, but you can take a wild guess!) told through the lens of a modern day family led by a criminally misused Eddie Murphy and his very young wife trying to sell an old house occupied by the most obvious ghosts ever (and Jennifer Tilly's head in a crystal ball). You won't laugh or be scared by this movie, but you'll be amazed at how bored you can be watching Eddie Murphy complete mundane fetch quests while his oblivious wife is led on the longest guided tour of all time. The ride is far from wild this wee

Welcome to Halloween Month, D Lovers! To kick off our inaugural October scare-tacular, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are taking on the Disney adaptation of Ray Bradbury's SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES. Set in a simpler time where young boys could run about unsupervised, carnivals never came past labor day, and shopkeepers were super SUPER horny; this movie isn't so much scary as it is confusing, dull, and generally pretty terrible. For every one scene where the main boys are attacked by spiders, there's ten where one of the boys has a heart-to-heart with his ancient father. For every scene where Jonathan Pryce's Mr. Dark glowers menacingly, there's five where the town barber is awkwardly laughing and sweating. Bottom line: the scariest thing about this movie is the prospect of ever needing to see it again. 

In many ways, Disney's A Far Off Place doesn't really depart from the formula that the film company usually follows. Orphaned children, an epic journey across a beautiful but deadly landscape, pursuit from a ruthless and cold-hearted villain. What sets THIS movie apart is its willingness to embrace the inherent darkness of those stories, rather than skirt around or wave it off. From an opening featuring an elephant slaughter, to a teenage Reece Witherspoon murdering grown men with dynamite, to a henchman being shot in the face and kicked out of a helicopter, this movie does not mess around. But there's no need to fear, for Ethan Embry's sweet face is a constant comfort to your hosts this week. So join Vicky, Jill, and special guest Cat on a journey of their own, as they delve into A FAR OFF PLACE.

Hope all you D Lovers enjoyed our last mini-episode, because hot on the heels of Best Henchmen comes our second mini-episode, and this time we're focusing on the sidekicks! Vicky, Nolan and Jill all throw their own picks into the ring to duke it out for the title of most supreme, helpful, hilarious, and heroic sidekick for our favourite Disney heroes. We loved hearing about all your own favourites after our last mini-episode, so keep those coming in after this week as well. And we will of course be back next Thursday with a full-length episode of your favourite podcast, We Want The D!

Join the We Want the D crew as they go deep into the Disney vaults and blow the dust off the 1959 Disney live action/fantasy/romance/comedy/musical...or whatever it is, Darby O'Gill and The Little People. Come skip across the emerald landscapes of Ireland, oh wait it's California. Have a stout and hear a tale of the leprechaun king in a quaint Irish pub, oh wait, it's just a set in California. Well at least you can enjoy the authentic Irish accents, oh wait, there's a bunch of British and Scottish people faking Irish accents. Well at least there's one thing we can all enjoy, Sean Connery aggressively grabbing women to assert sexual dominance. So take a shot of whiskey, string up your fiddle and follow the rainbow to the pot of gold that is this week's episode of We Want The D. 

As mentioned at the end of last week's episode, we regret that Vicky, Nolan and Jill aren't able to bring you a proper new installment of We Want The D this week. Rather than leave our Dear Listeners high and dry, though, we've decided to release our first "mini" episode. Whenever we are unable to give you a new full-length episode (which will hopefully not be very often), we will release one of these short, quickfire debates, so you won't have to go a single week without the sweet sound of us arguing in your ears. In our inaugural mini-episode, we're each throwing our weight behind one of the classic (or not-so-classic) henchmen that help support the larger-than-life villains that are essential parts of many Disney films.

This week on We Want The D, Vicky, Nolan and Jill had the unenviable task of attempting to talk about Disney's animated film THE RESCUERS without completey ignoring it in favour of its far superior sequel. Luckily, it's not as if this episode's movie is bad or anything (aside from the songs, at least) - it's just not as good as what would come later. But considering this is the last Disney picture to come out before the so-called 'Dark Ages' there's actually quite a lot to love. Miss Bianca the mouse is every bit as suave and stylish as you would expect from such a fashion icon, Madame Medusa is every bit as villainous and grotesque as you would expect from a classic Disney baddie, and Penny the orphan is just as adorable and orphan-y as the best of the many, many Disney orphans. And if nothing else, we're now one step closer to talking about one of best sequels in movie history. So join us, D Lovers, and discover just what two little mice can do.

Fear not, D Lovers: The sounds of birds chirping and squirrels squeaking aren't a result of Vicky, Nolan and Jill being shrunk to three quarters of an inch tall and forced to traverse a backyard in order to be embiggened by their madcap, inattentive, brilliant inventor of a father and his miraculous shrink machine. It's just the sounds of nature as our hosts recorded these week's episode amongst the great outdoors at a cottage getaway. The relaxing and beautiful scenery did nothing to suppress our hosts' feelings regarding this unexpected classic in the Disney canon, however. The adoration for Rick Moranis, 80s costuming, and Lil' Russ Thompson's mullet can barely be contained. HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS may be a movie that operates on a small scale, but it delivers big adventure, so relax in your muskoka chairs and grab your s'mores for this special cottage edition of We Want The D!