We Want The D

This deep into the Summer of Sequels, our hosts have learned to be on the lookout for some common pitfalls. Cheaper animation, inverted plot points and lazier songwriting are just a few examples of the trappings Disney likes to adorn their sequels with. Luckily for our Mary Poppins-loving hosts, MARY POPPINS RETURNS avoids many of these elements and is altogether a pretty decent follow-up to the beloved classic. Which isn't to say it's practically perfect in every way, by any means. For every solid performance given or amazingly choreographed number or well-dressed set, there's also heavy-handed villains or depressing songs about a dead wife and mother or a (hotly contested) use of BMX bike stunts. 

It's been a busy summer of remakes for Disney, but it's finally over (at least for now) with the release of their updated version of THE LION KING. That's right all the words, notes and even some voices that you loved from the beloved animated classic, now with 100% more photorealistic looking animals. It's so similar, you'll gasp in wonder, exclaiming "what's the point?" as Timon and Pumbaa slurp down some very real looking creepy crawlies. You'll wince when you hear a line delivery that just doesn't sound quite right. But it's still The Lion King, so you'll probably enjoy it anyway.

No Summer of Sequels would be complete without a visit to the absolute depths of the Eisner-instigated era of sequels. While sequels to Disney's animated classics were generally relegated to direct-to-video releases, the odd time they decided to go the theatrical route, and Peter Pan sequel RETURN TO NEVERLAND is one such case. These movies also tended to be, well, more or less identical to their original installments, maybe with a few plot inversions. As you may suspect, that doesn't leave our hosts with a whole lot to talk about, which is always a recipe for things to go just a titch off the rails. Which is fine. It's totally fine. Don't worry. By no means do our hosts come up with absolutely insane proposals for alternate plots for this movie. Or at least only a little. Don't worry about it.

Our hosts' journey through the complete Disney filmography has always been one of discovery. Old favourites seen in new lights, modern classics being scrutinized, and yellow-face skeletons found in closets. But Vicky, Nolan and Jill often have the best time when they discover a diamond in the rough. On paper, THE BISCUIT EATER sounds like pretty standard 70s Disney fare, subcategory "boy and his dog" movie. In reality, it surprised and delighted with its good-natured characters, lack of having any people or pets die unexpectedly, and what may be one of the best scenes we've seen yet.

This week is a very special installment of the Summer of Sequels with a movie we're sure you've all heard of and have been looking forward to - RETURN TO SNOWY RIVER! ...What's that? Never heard of it? That's strange. How could you not have heard of this sequel to one of the 1983 Golden Globe Best Foreign Film nominees? Sure, Disney had nothing to do with THAT movie, so we have not and will not ever watch it for this podcast (or likely otherwise)...ok come to think of it that is pretty bizarre. Almost as bizarre as Disney's choice to make a sequel to a movie they had nothing to do with, let alone one that is about 75% adult romance and conversations about animal husbandry and 25% insane horse stunts.

During We Want The D Minnie Mouse-isodes, the listeners are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The host who diligently researches and presents stories from Disney's colourful history, and the hosts who get to listen and crack jokes. These are their stories. DUN DUN. Winter, 2018. The geodesic dome known as Epcot. A weary Disney World employee makes his way into the abandoned pavilion. She gives the empty hall a casual once-over - nobody cares about this place aside from a few hardcore nerds online who take the time to "break in" to the largely unsecured space and film videos in portrait mode on their smartphones. She's about to move on when her brain catches up to her eyes, which casually drifted past a spotlight-lit space moments before. The boy...where is the boy? Her eyes dart from the vacant chair to the dangling, hoses. A brackish, oily fluid drips from roughly severed black tubes. She scrambles for her walkie-talkie. "H-Hello, we have a situation at Epcot! Someone has stolen Buzzy

While it shouldn't really be a surprise to see how many unnecessary sequels Disney churned out over the years, they still manage to throw us a curve ball every once in awhile. Because who could have imagined that they'd make a direct, made-for-tv sequel to the Hayley Mills' version of The Parent Trap, appropriately titled THE PARENT TRAP II? Let alone that they'd make it 25 years later when the twins played by Mills are 40 years old. So while there are twin hijinks, they're pretty low-rent...sort of like the meddling plots of Nikki and Mary, the two selfish and bad stars, or Tom Skerritt's parenting skills. The Summer of Sequels continues to chug along, here on We Want The D!

The 90s were generally a pretty good decade for Disney, what with the renaissance of their animated features and some beloved sports movies and such. As we've seen before, however, there were some real clunkers in the mix as well. But perhaps none that land with such a dull thud as A KID IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT - a movie so bad it almost makes you wish it had been made in 60s/70s era Disney. At least that way maybe it would be about a baby goat running around a castle instead of some pubescent dud named Calvin zipping around the halls of Camelot on his in-line skates, trying to trick twenty-year-olds into kissing him, and hanging out with an old man in a t-shirt. 

A little over a year ago, Vicky, Nolan and Jill were delighted to make the acquaintance of Merlin Jones, the scrambled egghead of Medvale Collage. Now, during the Summer of Sequels, our hosts couldn't be more excited to return to this campus of extremely old students for more of Merlin's wackadoo adventures in Disney's THE MONKEY'S UNCLE. Like all good sequels, this one gives us more of what we crave - more Tommy Kirk (in his final Disney role), more green screen dream sequences, and more of Annette Funicello's foghorn voice; this time accompanied by the dulcet harmonies of The Beach Boys. 

It's a banner year for Disney's live action remakes and it's all our hosts can do to keep up. This revisit of animated classic ALADDIN had some ill-tidings leading up to it, from a delay-causing casting process to find the right leads to some worrying early footage and images of Will Smith's take on the Genie. Is this destined to be yet another hollow recreation that trades on nostalgia dollars, or a worthy update to a beloved film? There's only one way to find out! 

We're kicking off another summer series here on We Want The D! What could be better than spending the season focusing on one beloved Disney franchise? Easy - focusing on many! In the Summer of Sequels we'll be tackling the theatrical, direct-to-video and TV movie sequels to some of Disney's best and worst and everything in between. We're kicking things off with the direct-to-video sequel to a theatrically released movie based on a cartoon TV series - AN EXTREMELY GOOFY MOVIE! All your favourites are back - Max, Goofy, PJ and that weird Pauly Shore one - as well as a host of brand new hideously designed characters. And sure, Powerline and Roxanne may be noticeably absent, replaced by the X Games, but surely that won't negatively impact our hosts' viewing experience. Right?

Welcome to another Minnie Mouse-isode, where we're showcasing yet another important figure in Disney's history. This week, we learn that while Ron Miller seemingly couldn't produce an on-brand Disney movie to save his life, he wasn't necessarily the bumbling fool who lucked into a cushy job thanks to marrying Daddy Walt's firstborn daughter we often view him as. Except for the luck part, he definitely had that coming out the wazoo.

Vicky, Nolan and Jill learned a lot of lessons from this week's movie.  We learned that with a head-strong attitude and plucky spirit, one can stand in the background of some of the most pivotal moments in American history. We learned that even when working on the Sabbath and keeping a sharp eye out for passing constables, it's important to always handle molten silver with care. And we learned that there really isn't anything that Vicky can't and won't sexualize. All that and more from Disney's JOHNNY TREMAIN!

It's our 200th episode! One that features all the hard-hitting, considered analysis you've come to expect from We Want The D. Is Disney's TARZAN a triumphant conclusion to the renaissance, or a sign that it was truly over? Was Rosie O'Donnell born to play Turk, or was her casting capitalizing on her Ellen-like popularity in the 90s? Does this movie have a younger target audience in mind than usual, or are there deeper themes about family and fatherhood at play? Are Tarzan and Jane the hottest animated couple? And how long after the credits roll did it take for them to bone down, and did the rest of the gorillas (and Jane's dad) watch?

The story set up in the Disney TV Movie LIFE-SIZE is pretty grim. A young girl, two years out from the death of her mother, has still not properly processed her grief. Her father, rather than be there for his daughter, has thrown himself into work. As we all know, that's a recipe for any pre-teen girl to start dabbling in the occult (or metaphysics). So it's no surprise that things go from bad to worse when Lindsay Lohan accidentally brings a doll to life instead of raising her mother from the grave, resulting in the most disturbing adult love story we've seen yet. 

Ol' Walt used to get inspiration for his movies from all sorts of places. His daughters beloved books, timeless folklore, heck even a mountain one time. So it's not all that surprising that when he happened to catch a performance of the Vienna Boys' Choir during his travels, he called up the studio with the latest hot idea. The result is ALMOST ANGELS, a film that is part mild early-60s Disney output, part straight-up promotional video for those high-singing Austrian boys. It's a little bit charming, a lotta bit nuts, and all-in-all pretty par for the course when it comes to our strange Disney journey so far.

If you're familiar with this movie, or the classic children's novel its based on, you probably know what is in store here. Much like our hosts, who all pretty much knew what they were getting into when they sat down to watch this movie. It's hard not to be saddened by Disney's BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA, it's sort of built-in to the story; what with poor lil' Josh Hutcherson having trouble bonding with his dad, the T1000; lil' Mary Belle and her twinkees; and lil' AnnaSophia Robb...well, you probably know. But it's also easy to be delighted by the strong performances of the child actors, the risk Disney took in faithfully adapting this story, and the always-impressive work of Weta Workshop in bringing a child's imagined world to life. 

This week's episode would come with a big ol' spoiler warning for the latest in Disney's line of live action remakes, except for the fact that this new version of DUMBO is pretty predictable for anyone who has, y'know, seen a movie before. Yes, unfortunately the only surprise to be had in this film is that it somehow made it to theatres under the Disney banner, while functioning as a part-parody, part-condemnation of giant amusement parks and megalomaniacal businessmen/entertainers...something you'd think the House of Mouse would rather avoid. But here we are, so in the twice-repeated words of Michael Buffer in this movie: "Let's get ready to Dumboooooooo!" 

From the corpses in the backgrounds of The Black Cauldron to Charles Martin Smith's D in Never Cry Wolf, the Disney movies of the 1980s have given us some strange and precious gifts. But perhaps none moreso than this week's film, MIDNIGHT MADNESS. Featuring a cast of dozens of some unknown but some very familiar faces, more hijinks than you can count, and a shrill disco theme song, there is no movie Vicky, Nolan and Jill have watched to date that better embodies the sheer aimlessness of Disney in the 80s as this one. Much to our hosts' collective delight.

Our hosts have been hit with some standard podcasting pitfalls (travel delays, general illness) this week, but rather than leave our dear listeners without your weekly dose of D, we have another Minnie Mouse-isode for your enjoyment. Listen to Jill's story of her first trip to Disneyland, recorded shortly after her return back in January 2018, while Vicky and Nolan recount their own childhood experiences with Disney's theme parks and try not to get too jealous.